


Salt in the Wounds

by HawkSong



Series: Finding Home [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Final Fantasy XIV: Stormblood Spoilers, Grief/Mourning, Group Sex, Heavy Petting, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, POV First Person, POV Original Female Character, Polyamory Negotiations, Slow Burn, Yep Berylla is still a Mess but she's Trying, is that how aether works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:55:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 53
Words: 161,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25756222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HawkSong/pseuds/HawkSong
Summary: Berylla's adventures continue into Doma and back againPlease note, Alphinaud and Alisaie are 18 as this story begins
Relationships: Alisaie Leveilleur & Warrior of Light, Alphinaud Leveilleur/Warrior of Light, Aymeric de Borel/Warrior of Light
Series: Finding Home [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1853455
Comments: 47
Kudos: 79





	1. You Say Pirate Like It's a Bad Thing

We changed airships in Gridania. Alphinaud cocked his head at Nightbird. “Are you certain you won't consider joining us? Your skills would be invaluable.”

“I'm sure they would.” Her ears went back and her tail curled into her lap. “I will not go, however. I have my reasons, and vex you as it may, I shan't tell you what they are.”

He gave her a small bow. “As you wish. Safe travels as you return to the front.”

She ruffled his hair a little. “Thank you. I shall pray for you all, every night until you return.”

Then she stepped over to me and wrapped her arms around my middle. “And you,” she murmured, “Take care of yourself. Write me at least one letter, hey?”

I managed a smile. “One's all you get.”

She smiled back, though I saw the concern in her eyes. But there was no time for her to say more – the ship would leave without us if she tried.

We stepped aboard the airship leaving for Limsa, and the last I saw of her was her waving at us from the platform.

“Berylla, are you well? You look...upset.”

I shook my head, and kept my eyes on the landscape. I couldn't meet Alphinaud's eyes or he'd know far more than I wanted him to know. “I'm fine. Or as well as can be expected, given that I'm about to leap into the unknown here.” I faked a smile. “I've never been on an ocean journey. In a way, this is going to be my first time leaving home.”

The last word came out strangled, as my throat closed and my heart ached all over again. I still couldn't think straight about what Aymeric had said. I had fled downstairs, pulled on my boots, and then I'd _run_ to the airship landing.

Alphinaud and Nightbird had come along a half-hour later, and they seemed to be unaware of what had transpired between me and Aymeric. They hadn't asked me any questions, at least.

Though now...I tried again to reassure Alphinaud. “I'll no doubt feel much better once we're underway.”

“Hm, yes, perhaps.” He didn't sound convinced, but he didn't press me further.

In Limsa, we all met up – and I was not surprised to see the rather irritated look on Alisaie's face.

Alisaie greeted us with a tart, “Nice of you to join us after all. You're late, you know.”

“We are not late,” Alphinaud retorted. “You know the airship schedule as well as I do.”

They bickered for a moment, and Lyse stepped over to stand beside me, rolling her eyes a bit. “So what exactly was going on with all that, anyway? I feel like I know that Keeper you were with, but...”

“Nightbird? She's...a bit like me. But not a Scion, at least not yet. I'll convince her eventually, I hope. She and I go back a bit – it's complicated. But, that little girl...the two of us had helped her and her mother. When no one would take her in after...” I shook my head. “Well, Hara has a place in Ishgard for the moment and people to keep an eye on her for us. Nightbird's back at Oriens by now, I expect.”

“Oh.” Lyse cocked her head. “And Alphinaud went along because...?”

“Ask _him_ , I don't actually know. Unless it was to try asking Aymeric for advice.” My mouth twisted. “I'd rather not talk about that, though.”

“I have a feeling you and I need to have a good long gossip,” she observed. “I must have missed out on so much while we were all scattered.”

“Well,” I sighed, “we're likely to have some time for it, aren't we?”

She grinned slightly.

Alisaie was saying to her brother, “Well, I spoke to Thancred and Urianger. To say they were surprised by our stratagem would be something of an understatement, but they did not dispute its logic.”

I kept my mouth shut, though I saw Alphinaud's mildly nervous glance my way.

“Tataru should be here any moment with our ship's captain,” he said, with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

Lyse set one hand on her hip. “So we're going by sea after all. Do we get our pick of the Crimson Fleet?”

“Not...exactly.” I cocked my head at the way Alphinaud's voice seemed on edge. “ You are right, in as much as we will be traveling by sea. Regrettably, it is simply not feasible for an airship to travel such a distance without impossibly large fuel reserves, to say nothing of the inevitability of running afoul of the Empire's aerial defenses. But then it is equally infeasible to sail an Eorzean Alliance vessel halfway around the world without the Empire taking notice. Which leaves us with only one other option.”

“Sorry to keep you waiting!”

“Ah, speak of the devil,” Alphinaud muttered.

I turned and my eyes went wide at the unlikely sight coming towards us. I understood abruptly just why we had met in a spot tucked out of sight of passersby.

Tataru waved at me cheerfully, just as if she led pirates around Limsa every day.

She stopped when they reached us, and made a small curtsy. “May I present to you Captain Carvallain of the Kraken's Arms!”

Alisaie rounded on her brother. “Don't tell me you made a deal with _pirates!_ ”

The tall, dark skinned Elezen bowed to us, his lips curved in his usual mocking smile. Something about him pricked my memory all of a sudden – I hadn't personally had dealings with the man for years, but...

_I feel like I've seen him_ _ recently _ _._

His teeth were very white as he spoke. “Greetings and salutations, Scions. I take it from your comrade's tone that you no longer wish to proceed with our proposed arrangement?”

Alphinaud stepped forward, with his best diplomat face and his smoothest voice. “Not at all, Captain. Pray forgive my sister her outburst─she has ever been one to speak her mind. I, on the other hand, am the very soul of discretion, as many well-respected personages would attest, from the offices of the Admiral, to the High Houses of Ishgard.”

I watched Carvallain's eyes narrow, and it dawned on me. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep quiet. _He's a damned nobleman?!_

Beside me, I heard Lyse whisper very softly, “What the fuck...?”

Alisaie's eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms and set her weight back on one foot, watching.

Alphinaud's smile was – I had never seen him smile quite like _that_. “Ah, but where was I? Oh, yes! The Scions of the Seventh Dawn do indeed still wish to employ your services. However, it is important that you are aware of certain extenuating circumstances.”

He went on to explain very briefly our need for discretion – without giving away a lot of details as to what we intended to do in Doma. _It's a good thing we don't have a solid plan, I suppose. That much less to hide from others._

Carvallain nodded, his arms folded. “And intent on securing passage to the Far East, you came to us, knowing us to be the proud purveyors of said region's finest spices.”

“Which you steal from gods-fearing merchants out on the high seas,” Alisaie muttered.

The mocking smile reappeared and Carvallain bowed to her slightly. “Whatever privateering the Kraken's Arms may or may not engage in is strictly within the limits of the law, as set forth by our indefatigable keeper of the peace.” He returned his gaze to Alphinaud. “More to the point, we are pragmatists. I see considerable risk in aiding your cause, and negligible profit.”

Tataru piped up. “The captain has a point, you know.” Her smile was sweet. “The five seas can be extremely treacherous, and many a poor, unfortunate soul has to come to grief out there on the waves. Why, when we were in Ishgard, I heard the _tragic_ tale of how the heir to House Durendaire vanished at sea!”

I didn't miss the way Carvallain tensed, nor the tightening of his mouth.

“Even now, nearly twenty years later, the poor count remains convinced that his son still lives, and would pay a sultan's ransom for news of his whereabouts...” Tataru grinned up at the tall pirate. It was a singularly evil grin.

Alphinaud's smile was almost as evil.

I looked on, mildly astonished, as the tension in the air grew over the space of three long breaths.

Carvallain threw his head back, and laughed, long and loud.

“Truly,” he said, when he'd done guffawing, “a tragedy for the ages, and a testament to the misfortunes that may befall us should we act without...due consideration.” He grinned, the grin of a man who had lost a small bet. “But so long as you are prepared to abide the capricious whims of fate, I am willing to oblige you this once.” He sobered. “That said, in light of the recent rebellion, I trust you understand that I cannot deliver you to Doma itself,” he warned. “I can take you only as far as Kugane, in Hingashi.”

“Understood,” Alphinaud nodded.

“We will require time to procure sufficient provisions and make ready for departure. I humbly suggest you do the same.” And with one more very deep bow, chuckling as he made the gesture, he turned and left.

I eyed Tataru. “You,” I said, “are a dangerous woman.”

She laughed.

“All right, now for the next step,” Alphinaud said, looking like a weight was off his shoulders. “Tataru and I will procure the necessary supplies. Alisaie...I should be grateful if you would use the time to brief Urianger on recent developments. You may also wish to review the relevant safety procedures in the event of an emergency at sea.”

Her eyes gleamed. “How...how very prudent of you. Very well, I shall go and speak with him.”

Lyse looked among the lot of us, her brows creased. “Wait, I'm not sure what just happened. I could have sworn he was about to turn us away, but then he...changed his mind?”

“Blackmail works wonders,” Alisaie said dryly. “Though it's a damned dangerous game you're playing, Brother. What guarantee do we have that Carvallain won't just throw us overboard?”

“Me,” I answered. “Also, so long as we pay him, he's unlikely to deviate from the agreement. That was true the last time I worked with him, it ought to be true now.”

“You...!” Her eyes went wide.

I laughed a little. “I'm _from_ here, did you forget? I was working alongside pirates when I was still just a plain adventurer, before Y'Shtola ever heard my name.”

But thinking of our friend killed my smile. I looked away, as a leaden silence dropped over us for a moment.

Alphinaud cleared his throat. “Lyse, Berylla...I would like the two of you to return to Revenant's Toll and speak with our Doman allies. I fear we know too little of their homeland, and any information they can provide would be most welcome. When we have completed our respective tasks, we will reconvene here at the ferry docks. Agreed?”

I nodded. Tataru handed me a slip of paper. “Hand this to Rowena, would you? She has a satchel that I want you to bring back with you. One you'll need to guard with your life, understand?”

I raised one eyebrow. “Right.”

The Toll was quiet this morning. As we stood, letting our heads clear from the aether travel, I looked around, noticing the small signs of a hasty exodus. Slafborn gave me a wave, and I sauntered over to him. “Looks like we missed a party or something,” I said by way of greeting.

He chuckled. “The party's happening down by the lake today. Big snake hunt. You two looking to join in?”

“Sadly no,” I shook my head. “Talking to a few old friends before we go off to find other trouble.”

“How big's the trouble this time?” He laughed a little. “Primals again?”

“A whole kingdom's worth of trouble,” I smiled. “We're going to Doma.”

His smile died. “Wha – that's a long ways off indeed, there, little lady.”

I punched his arm lightly – as I did every time he called me that – and then grinned. “Don't tell me you're going to worry about me too. It'll be fine.”

He scratched the back of his head, and then grinned. Even though it was forced, I let him alone. “Well. Bring us back a souvenir then, eh, lass?”

I laughed. “I will.”

We split up, and went around town talking with the Domans. Most of them had settled in so comfortably that you couldn't tell them apart from the Eorzean-born townsfolk, and all of them seemed very surprised that I was headed for their homeland...and touched. I got a bit of useful information dealing with the major landmarks – a castle, a river, that sort of thing. None of them had kept any sort of map, of course, but that was all right. I finished talking with Homei and wandered back out of the Rising Stones to sit on the bench.

I rested my elbows on my knees and just looked out at the town. I wouldn't be seeing it again for a while. I felt like I was poking at a wound, with that thought. Would I be homesick as I had been when we first started working in Gyr Abania? Surely it ought to be even worse, being so much farther away...not to mention this morning.

In my pouch, something chimed.

I sat up, and fished out the link-pearl. It chimed again, and I thumbed it off, rendering it inactive for now. Then I regarded it for a long moment, before putting it away with great care.

 _I'm not ready to talk to him. Not yet_.

I sat forward again, and scrubbed at my face a little, trying to keep the tears back. I did _not_ want to cry right now. I certainly didn't want to explain to anyone such tears.

“There you are!”

I sat up as Lyse approached me. “Learn anything interesting? The older Domans I spoke with tried to teach me all about Far Eastern customs and the importance of formality and politeness.”

I explained what I'd picked up, and she raised her eyebrows. “Wow... What you learned sounds a lot more useful. Unless someone invites us for dinner, of course. I hope they do.”

I couldn't help it, I laughed at her. “And they say I think only with my stomach. You're a mess, Lyse.”

“So're you.” She stuck her tongue out at me, and I got up and clapped her on the shoulder.

“Better make sure there isn't anything from here you need,” I told her. “I'm going to take Tataru's note to Rowena. Then, we'll head back to Limsa. Okay?”

“Sounds good. I did want to grab one thing. See you in a minute!”

We made our way to the docks. The leather case that Rowena had handed me was heavy, and sported an actual padlock on the outside to boot. I wondered what on earth it contained.

Alisaie spotted us, and waved her arm. Weaving our way through the crowd, we finally fetched up against the wall, out of the main traffic. I noticed a pair of burly fellows toting crates, while Tataru held a list and marked things off. I raised my eyebrows and looked at Alisaie, letting my face ask the question.

“Tataru decided we needed quite a few supplies,” Alisaie chuckled. “Something about 'an army marches on its stomach,' I believe.”

I laughed, and Lyse shook her head a little.

Tataru heard me, and turned. She grinned, and checked off one more thing on her list, then sauntered towards us. “I do believe we have everything we need for a lengthy voyage!” she told us.

“Ah, you are returned.” I turned my head to smile at Alphinaud, who had come up on us – probably he'd been inside the Arcanist's Guild offices. Doubtless hounding someone for more books, or the like. Or maybe maps.

“I trust you learned much from our Doman friends in Revenant's Toll.”

I nodded and he gave me a distracted smile, swiping at his bangs. “I am eager to hear all─though that can wait until we have left port. We will have time enough to talk on our journey to Kugane.”

“Is anything left undone?” asked Alisaie.

“Not that I know about,” I answered. We headed off towards the fellow who was, very clearly, waiting for us.

He gestured and walked us down the dock to the berth at the very end. The ship was suitably impressive – a very good looking vessel indeed, if not as enormous as some of the galleons under the Admiral's command. She looked fast, and sleek, and the men on board looked well fed and competent. Having seen plenty of surly sorts crewing on sloops that were barely seaworthy...I felt much reassured.

Alisaie seemed to feel the same, but Alphinaud's expression was plainly uncertain. The deckhand noticed, and said, “The Misery is the finest ship ever to sail the Rhotano, and I'll not hear any man say otherwise!”

“Quite,” Alphinaud answered, and dug in his belt pouch for something that he then slipped into his mouth. I heard Alisaie snicker.


	2. Scenes on a Ship

The first day on the ship wasn't so bad – there was a great deal to do to settle ourselves. With four females to contend with, Alphinaud didn't even try to ask for first dibs on the head or the closet sized bathing chamber. The twins earned everyone's smiles by pointing out that they both knew magics to purify the water once used, which meant being able to bathe every day – a great relief for all concerned. The bunks themselves were generous enough, since they were all sized with brawny Roe like the first mate in mind. For once, I was glad that I was on the short side for my own kind.

Within another day, we had all figured out where we could and couldn't go on the ship, and other such necessities. Lyse and Alisaie decided to work out in the more spacious room below-decks, but I did my own exercises up on the main deck. The breeze was pleasantly refreshing and the looks I got from the crew didn't trouble me. Not a one of them made so much as a salacious comment, so they could look all they liked. Somewhat predictably, Alphinaud was unhappy about my decision and tried to declare that I needed him stay on deck with me.

“To do what? Guard my non-existent virtue?” I laughed in his face. “Even the second boatswain could pick you up and hurl you over the side in a fight, Alphinaud. I'll be fine.”

He grumbled, and he muttered, but he still came out on deck. He would sit on a crate out of the way and sketch while giving the occasional dark look at the crew members. To their credit, they laughed at him behind their hands and left him alone.

But even so, we had an awful lot of time on our hands, and the trip was only just started.

Alphinaud and Tataru turned out to be the best prepared – they had each packed quite a lot of books, and Tataru had brought more than one deck of cards. Alisaie would pluck a book at random from her brother's pile of tomes – occasionally making him splutter and complain, if he'd been about to reach for it himself – and settle herself on the long padded bench for hours. Lyse would find a spot – on deck or in the great room – and meditate.

It was only me that had trouble filling the time.

I managed to keep myself distracted and worn out for three days. But our fourth night at sea, though I was tired, I couldn't sleep. Sometime after midnight, I gave up, and swung out of my bunk. Moving as quietly as I could, I went up on deck, and sat down on a crate.

There were a few hands on deck, even in the middle of the night, but only one of them was anywhere near me, and he ignored me, which suited me perfectly. The wind was chill and the setting moon shone on the vast water all around us, turning the sea into a strange landscape of white on black, black on white, with shifting patterns that mesmerized the eye.

I sank into a kind of trance, staring out at it, and let the tears come.

Tears for Hara, for her mother, for all of the Reach and the fallen. Tears for Kemp and for Meffrid. All the grief I hadn't really processed yet – the older hurts. They rolled over me, through me. It was as if the sea pulled the tears out of me, accepting my pain and swallowing it.

The sea wouldn't notice a little more salt water, after all. There was something comforting in the vastness of it, in the utter indifference of the waves under the moon. The sea had been there long before I was born – even before the first time I was born. The waves would remain, long after I was nothing but dust and a vague paragraph in some tome hidden in esoteric archives. Somehow, it made my grief seem smaller.

But the newer pain was still sharp, and when my mind drifted to the look on Aymeric's face as I had turned and fled, the memory cut me so deep that I could barely breathe. Then, the sobs came, a racking pain in my chest as I tried my damnedest to keep quiet.

A hand touched my shoulder, and I sucked in a breath, trying to swallow it down. I turned, ready to reassure the deck-hand that I was fine, thanks – and froze when I realized Alphinaud was standing beside me.

His eyes were almost silver in the moonlight; his hair was down, out of its braid, looking like a river of light flowing across his shoulder.

My eyes fixed on it for a long moment, but when he spoke I looked back up at his face.

“Berylla, what's wrong?”

“What are you doing awake?” It was a nonsensical thing to ask, but the words tumbled out before I could think about them.

He shook his head. “I asked first,” he said with the barest hint of humor.

“I – I just...” I swallowed hard. “I'm fine.”

“I can see that you've been crying, and I know you've been upset since we left Ishgard.” He leaned his hip against the crate. “Is it Aymeric?”

I winced, and his hand tightened on my shoulder.

“Did he hurt you?”

I covered my face with my hands and took a breath, shaking. “I can't talk about this, Alphinaud.”

“Very well. Do you need a shoulder to cry on?”

“Thought we s-said hugs aren't, aren't allowed.” My fingers were in my hair, tightening.

Alphinaud's hands were on my wrists then, and he tugged my hands down. “Stop that.” He took my hands and set them against his chest, and then gently tugged my head to rest against his shoulder. I couldn't stop my fingers from curling into the fabric of his shirt, couldn't resist the offer inherent in how he stood there.

His hands moved across my shoulders and my back, making soothing motions. He stood firm as I leaned against him and wept. It occurred to me he was taller than he had been even just a month ago; he was slender now, rather than skinny. _Guess he doesn't need lifts in his boots anymore._

Already tired, it didn't take terribly long for me to wear myself out with weeping. I pulled away from him when I realized my head was getting heavier and heavier. “I'm s-sorry.”

“Sh.” He smoothed my hair a little. “Do you need anything else?”

“I'll try to sleep,” I said, and let go of him.

“Good.” He stepped back, and stroked my shoulder once more before leaving me and going back below-decks.

The moon was almost gone, now, the light fading away. I tipped my head and stared up at the stars, and let the wind dry my tears before I went back to bed.

Tataru was the one that finally coaxed me into talking about it.

We had played cards until Lyse and Alphinaud both were nodding off in their seats. Alisaie had wandered off to bed after helping me and Tataru put up the cards and the little wooden tokens we used for mock-betting. But as I tucked the last blue-painted circle of wood into the case, my hand shook.

It was going to be another bad night. I bit down on my cheek and tried to smile at Tataru. “Guess I'll go get some sleep.”

“You'll sit right back down, I think.”

I started at the hard stare she was giving me, more than the stern tone of her voice.

“Uh, what?”

“Sit.”

I sat. Then frowned. _Tataru is a quarter my size, why the hell am I intimidated?_

“Now that the others aren't in the way, I want you to talk to me, Berylla.”

“Um.” I felt as if I'd swallowed a bucket full of seawater. Leaden, and nauseated.

“None of us has missed how upset you've been. The others won't talk to you about it, for their own reasons I'm sure,” her mouth twisted a little, “but you and I have been friends a long time, haven't we? And you never made fun of me about that whole carbuncle fiasco. Don't you think I can be trusted to listen to your troubles?”

“I – Tataru...” I messed with the end of my ponytail. “It's not – ”

“Berylla Seahawk,” she said sweetly, “if you try to tell me it's not important, so help me, I will _kneecap_ you.”

My mouth snapped shut. I could only stare at her, completely speechless.

“You are the Warrior of Light,” she said, her tone quiet but fierce. “We need you, Berylla. And we need you paying attention, not crying yourself to sleep. We need you to be here, right now, present in the moment. You don't just risk your own hide when you're like this, and you know that.” Then her eyes softened, and gleamed with sudden moisture. “And more importantly, you need to rely on us. Don't you trust us, Berylla? After everything we've been through together, don't you trust _me?_ ”

I was aware that this was her “puppy dog” trick, but nonetheless I was devastated. My own eyes welled up with answering tears.

“Dammit, Tataru. Of course I trust you. It just...it hurts.”

“Well then talk about it. It can't make it hurt worse.”

I tried to resist for a moment more. But she was right, completely right. I suddenly, desperately _wanted_ to pour my heart out to someone. Someone who wouldn't get jealous or pissed off, someone who wouldn't try to fix any of it. Someone who wouldn't sugar coat what I'd done.

I folded my arms on the table and lay my head on them for a moment.

“Some of it's Alphinaud. You knew about the fight, of course,” I began. “Three weeks of hell, Tataru. It was a relief to go beat on primals and thralls. And even there, my mistakes kept haunting me.”

“Everyone makes mistakes,” Tataru answered. “Why do you think you'd be any different? If they're mistakes you can't fix, you have to move on.”

“I can't decide sometimes if I can fix it or not.” I laughed, and it tasted as bitter as it sounded. “I'm supposed to fix everything, aren't I? Or maybe not. Maybe I'm just meant to kill things and nothing more.”

Tataru made a raspberry. “If that were true, you wouldn't be a fabulous cook.”

“Ha. Thanks for that.” I sighed. “I'm upset about what happened at the Reach, of course. But I was handling it okay.”

“And then? What happened?”

“Aymeric...” I slid out of my seat to kneel on the floor near her, my arms on the padded bench and my head laying on my arms.

I swallowed hard, but the tears came anyway.

“Oh, Tataru...I love him. I really do. It's so cruel. It's not like with Alphinaud. I can't keep Aymeric with me. And I can't stay with him. He...” I shut my eyes, and a sob escaped me. “He asked me to marry him.”

Tataru let out a little gasp, and her hand touched my shoulder.

“I ran away.” I forced the words past my tears. “I just, I can't. _I can't_. I'll never be any sort of proper wife – it's not in me. And I love him anyway. Oh gods, Tataru, I think I might have lost any chance I could have had with him.”

I lost my battle with my tears, and as I had two nights before, I sobbed. Tataru's little hand patted my shoulder, and she crooned a little, the way a mother might soothe her child.

“You know there are others who love you,” Tataru said. “It doesn't make it hurt less, I know. But we're here for you, my friend. We always will be.”

“I don't know why. But gods am I glad.”

“Have you talked to Alphinaud...?”

“How? What is there that I can say? After what I did to him, the way I hurt him? No, I should just leave him alone. He deserves better than this. Than me.”

“You should ask him.” Tataru's voice was gentle. “You shouldn't go deciding for him.”

“I'm not – well I am but...”

“But me no buts, young lady. Take it from someone with experience in these things. Talk to the man.”

I sniffled, and whispered, “I'm afraid, Tataru.”

“Well of course you are. And there's no hurry. I don't mean go wake him up and talk to him right _now_ , silly.”

Three weeks had passed. Carvallain had taken to coming down and chatting with us every evening after supper – apparently there was less for him to do along this stretch of the journey. If I hadn't already known he was Ishgardian, I would have guessed by the kinds of things he talked about – wines, music, and most of all, _gossip_. Though to be fair, the sort of gossip a pirate collected was far more entertaining than the stupid stuff Ishgardian maidens giggled over.

He was relating a particularly ridiculous incident to us, as a storm brewed in the skies. We had been hearing thunder for hours, and I'd almost tuned the sound out. But when a bolt of lightning struck the water just past the hull, all of us jumped.

The ship _groaned_ , and the conversation died.

“Is it...supposed to make that sound?” asked Tataru.

“No,” Carvallain answered. “It isn't.”

The first mate appeared in the doorway that led up to the main deck. “Captain, think you should come take a look. Somethin' strange is goin' on. We're off course, and the wind has died.”

Carvallain made a face, and turned to look at all of us. “I would suggest staying here for the moment,” he said, though by the glint in his eye, he knew damn well at least one of us was going to ignore his suggestion.

Then he turned and followed the first mate. We looked at each other, and by the time the door had shut, all of us save Tataru were on our feet and heading up top.

Carvallain was on the quarterdeck, surveying the situation, when I caught up with the others. I took a look around as well. The sails hung slack, with no wind to fill them, and the sea was eerily calm despite the rain and the thunder. And somehow, _fog_ surrounded the ship, clinging to the sails and the hull in a most unnatural manner. Every sailor on deck looked nervous.

“Do you have any idea what's going on?” asked Alphinaud. His eyes were restless, as if he were looking for enemies. Alisaie, standing beside him, had her arms crossed and looked only a bit annoyed.

Carvallain was grim. “No. I do not. As the man said, despite the absence of wind and current, the Misery is somehow being pulled off course.”

“Well,” Alisaie said with a touch of impatience, “why not fire up the ceruleum engines you have hidden below?”

Carvallain raised one eyebrow. “An excellent suggestion based on knowledge you should not have. Alas, our engines appear to be malfunctioning for reasons that escape my engineers at present.”

The first mate shook his head. “I'm telling you, Captain, it's them...things the lads saw.”

“"Things"? I don't suppose I could convince you to attempt something more descriptive? An adjective, for example.” Alphinaud's voice sounded as testy as his sister's.

The tall Elezen captain rolled his eyes. “Sea Wolf superstitions and faerie tales, naught more. But if you must know, the “things” which he is so reticent to name are the souls of deceased women said to lure sailors to their deaths.”

Alphinaud took a step back, going pale. “P-P-Preposterous!”

I tilted my head. He was genuinely frightened, but why?

Alisaie's mouth quirked. “Yes, indeed,” she drawled. Then her tone lost any trace of sarcasm. “If it is neither the sea nor the weather which is responsible, then it is probably a predatory entity of some sort─perhaps a siren or some such. For all we know, it could be a fellow “spice trader” employing magics to seize and plunder passing vessels.” She snorted. “Regardless, we have but one recourse: to let the current take us where it will, and deal with whatever we find there.”

Carvallain smiled, a hint of his usual mockery returning to his voice. “What a thoroughly pragmatic suggestion. Oh, I am beginning to like you, girl.”

Alisaie's glance would have withered a lesser man, and her tone was frosty. “I assure you the feeling is not mutual.”

She turned towards me. “Once we arrive at our destination, be it a vessel or an island or something else, Lyse and I will remain with the ship to defend it in case of attack. Berylla, I believe you would be the ideal choice to venture forth and deal with the cause of our troubles.”

I nodded once. “So long as an axe can actually hit it. I agree with your guess. It's a monster of some kind, or less gentlemanly pirates than our current company.”

Carvallain laughed and shook his head.

“Then it is settled!” Alisaie's eyes sparkled in anticipation. “I know not what awaits us, but it will rue the day it reeled us in!”

Lyse turned. “I'll make sure Tataru knows to stay put.”

Alisaie started toward the forecastle. I glanced at Alphinaud, but he scowled at me quite ferociously. “Don't look at me like that. I am as calm and collected as ever.”

I raked my gaze across him and said only, “Uh huh. Calm and collected, got it.”

He strode past me – no, he was _stomping_ – and I covered my laugh with a small cough.

Carvallain was watching Alisaie as she made her way across the deck. “She's a fiery one. A pity she holds our profession in such disdain. She would make an excellent pirate.”

I smiled a little. “You know, I think you're right. But she's young yet. Maybe she'll change her opinion someday.”

Then I headed forward myself, as one of the deckhands shouted a warning.

I leaned on my axe, panting. The strange, woman-like monster lay still and silent at my feet. I heard the hum of machinery, but it was quieter now. Had this monster's aether kept the tower running?

Outside I could hear thunder still, and I sighed a little. Cold rain was the worst, I _hated_ it – but there was nothing for it. If I wanted to get back to the ship, I'd have to walk through the storm.

“Thank the Twelve!”

I turned to see Alphinaud and Carvallain walking through the giant door. “Oh,” I blinked. I hadn't expected anyone to _follow_ me onto the island. “Hi.”

Carvallain gazed at the thing on the floor. “I've heard of Apa, but never seen one. I didn't think they got that big...”

“I suspect the machine here had a bit to do with that,” I told him, pointing at the bank of odd levers. The lights on the panels above the levers were faded almost to black.

Alphinaud strode over immediately and started peering at the thing. Carvallain, meanwhile, eyed me up and down. “Considering the carnage we saw as we came in, you look remarkably fresh.”

I laughed. “Only because of all the damn rain, trust me.”

“A-ha!”

I turned to look at Alphinaud, and saw him pull a couple of levers. The faint remaining hum in the tower wound down, like a giant sighing in his sleep. Alphinaud walked back over to us, wearing a smug smile. “That should, I believe, prevent a repeat of this incident.”

“I want to know what the hell was going on,” I said, “but you can tell me back on board the ship, while I'm warming up.”

“Indeed.”

Carvallain nodded once, and led the way back out. To my relief, the storm seemed to be finally abating – the wind had died down and the rain stopped as we walked.

“If I never hear another ghost story again,” Alphinaud muttered, eyeing the corpses of twisted monsters, “it will be too soon.”

“I take it you don't care for them.”

He grimaced. “I do not enjoy them, no. My dear sister has never let me live down the fact.”

“The more I learn about siblings, the happier I am to not have one of my own,” I commented wryly, and he shook his head, laughing quietly.

Back on board, we discovered that the men had been hard at work and repairs were nearly completed – though the cosmetic damage to the figurehead would need the care of an expert. Carvallain headed off to take command of his ship and get us underway again.

Lyse and Alisaie were waiting for us on the main deck. Lyse wrinkled her nose. “You smell like rotten seaweed,” she blurted.

“I was planning to wash up,” I retorted, rolling my eyes.

“Once you have,” Alphinaud piped up, “let me tend to your injuries, all right?”

“I'm not all that hurt,” I began, then stopped. “Yeah. All right.”

He and Lyse went down first, and I gestured to Alisaie to precede me down the narrow stairs. She grinned as she passed me. “Alphinaud was terrified of ghost stories as a child. I'm glad to see that some things never change.”

“You are _so_ mean,” I told her, and she just laughed.


	3. Nothing in Common

We were under sail again, and the sky had cleared. I had gotten clean, and changed into dry clothes. I put on a warm sweater, still feeling cold from being out in the rain. I decided to go upstairs and bask in the warmth. Sitting on a crate, I combed out my hair, taking my time.

Alphinaud found me there. “You were supposed to come find me.”

I shrugged and kept combing my hair. “I forgot. I'm not _hurt_ , Alphinaud. Just cold.” The comb caught in a tangle of hair, and I muttered a little, trying to work through the knot.

“Here, let me help you with that.”

I blinked at him in surprise, and then shrugged a little and handed the comb over.

He took a seat on a crate behind me and started working the comb through my hair, which was still a bit damp. I tipped my head back a little, to make it easier for him, and let myself enjoy the soothing motions of his fingers and the comb.

“Three and a half weeks now,” he sighed. “It feels like I'll never see solid ground again sometimes.”

“Didn't you have to take a ship to get to Eorzea from Sharlayan, though?”

“Yes, and that trip was interminably long as well.”

I chuckled. “Well, our intrepid captain didn't seem to be too concerned. I suppose that means we're making good time.”

“Hm, perhaps.” He fell silent, and I half shut my eyes, listening to the slap of waves against the hull and the whisper of wind in the sails. I wished I understood why Alphinaud disliked the sea so very much, but I hesitated to ask. It was obviously another thing Alisaie teased him about – and he was about as fond of discussing such things as I was of cold rain. I had more than once told stories on myself, relating silly misadventures and embarrassing moments. Alphinaud would never do that. I suspected he'd rather be caught dead than let his sister tell such stories.

We were so different, he and I. We had almost nothing in common.

He was refined and high-class, coming from the kind of family he did. I was a sea rat, more or less. I had never, ever been that kind of rich. I had no “proper” manners; hells, I would probably embarrass myself at any sort of truly fancy event. I had gotten by at Aymeric's dinner solely because it was just the two of us.

When I had first met him, I'd thought he was just a cocky, know-it-all kid. But it wasn't arrogance, if it was fact. He really was brilliant – a genius. And me? Okay, I wasn't an unlettered barbarian – but I didn't have a quarter of the education he had. I had no head for _theories_. I could learn off a spell, yes – had done, in fact – but come up with new ones? Never. Alphinaud had _invented_ more than one new spell in the time I had known him.

I had far more in common with Aymeric – and that relationship had gone all wrong, somehow. Maybe I was a fool to hope for something more than fleeting lovers in my life.

“You're thinking very hard,” he murmured.

I started a little, and I was glad I had my back to him so he wouldn't see the red in my cheeks. “Just...” I tried for a casual laugh. “Thinking of any sort is hard for me, Alphinaud.”

“No, it isn't. Stop insulting your own intelligence.”

“I'm not,” I started, but he interrupted me.

“I know you don't really believe you're stupid. I haven't forgotten, either, how you prefer to remain underestimated. But at least, when it's just us...please don't say such things.”

“Why does it matter?” I wondered.

“I would be happier if you simply admitted that you don't want to tell me.”

“Huh?” I turned to look at him over my shoulder.

“You use it as an excuse,” he said, his voice quiet, his eyes down. “Whenever you are uncomfortable, when you want to hide from me.”

I blinked a couple times. “I...hadn't thought about it that way.” I considered. “I don't mean to hurt you. Sometimes I just...” I shrugged helplessly and turned back around. “I can barely figure out what's _in_ my head, much less articulate it to someone else.” _Not to mention the tangled knots tying up my heart_.

“I see.” His fingers came back to my hair, though it was dry now. The comb whispered as he drew it through, over and over.

I floundered for a change of subject. “Have you worked your way through all those history books yet?”

He sighed. “Most of them. There was very little of help, unfortunately. What remains are Imperial accounts of the rebellion. So far they are...” The comb stopped, and I turned around to look at him.

He was frowning, chewing on a thumbnail.

“That bad, huh?”

He grimaced, and dropped his hand. “It is a well known fact that Imperial troops are encouraged to brutalize conquered populations,” he said, “but I had no idea of the extent of that brutality. Of the particulars.”

I thought about the things that could happen, and swallowed. “So they don't limit their atrocities to their enemies.”

“Indeed, it seems they save a few specifically for their peasants.”

I clenched my hand into a fist. “It's so _stupid_.”

“Hm?”

“Well, if the Empire really wanted to settle all these lands and really wanted to prevent the summoning of primals – why would they be so cruel to everyone? It just makes people that much more desperate, being ruled by terror and fire and the sword. You'd think the Emperor would know that.”

“Perhaps he does.”

I rubbed my forehead. “This isn't going to be pretty.”

Alphinaud's voice was dry. “War never is, so they say. Except for those who are far, far away from the actual fighting.”

I glanced at him, from the corner of my eye. The most he had seen of war first-hand was the action in Gyr Abania. He hadn't said anything, but somehow I doubted he'd willingly let on if he was troubled. “Are you going to be able to handle this?”

“I'm not an innocent, fragile flower, Berylla.” He made a face. “Kindly do not think of me as a child.”

“I'm not. I mean, I don't...ugh.” I pressed my fingers to my eyes. “I dunno. I'm lousy at talking about this kind of thing. I just worry about you.”

“And you do not worry for Lyse? Or Alisaie?”

“I worry for them,” I answered, “but it's different.” _Because I'm not in love with them_.

I could feel the color rising in my face and dropped my head, making my hair a curtain to hide behind for a moment. Desperate for some way to change the subject again, I latched onto the first thing I could think of.

“You seemed to be pretty confident about those levers and all, back on that island. What the heck was all that stuff?”

“Well – I can only speculate...”

“Please, speculate away,” I said, and took my comb back from him so I could put my hair up. I was glad to listen to him – and even more glad that I had guided the talk away from feelings I still couldn't let myself acknowledge.

Another week – a week spent doing a lot more exercises and stretches. A week of playing cards at night, of pretending to sleep for much longer than I really was resting, of carefully avoiding too much alone time with anybody, including myself.

I was finishing a workout when Lyse came looking for me.

“There you are.”

I straightened from the stretch I had been doing, to see Lyse standing nearby, smiling.

“Hm? What's up?”

“You and I have some catching up to do, still.” Her eyes twinkled a little bit. “And anyway, I'm bored of being downstairs.”

“Below decks,” I corrected absently, as I picked up my towel and wiped away the fine sheen of sweat on my face and shoulders. The day wasn't hot, but very sunny, and I had pushed myself a little more, this time. At last the bone bruises and deeper injuries from fighting Zenos had faded. I was back to my old self, maybe a little stronger even.

Physically, at least. I smiled at Lyse. _Gossip sounds a lot better than sitting around moping_.

The relatively small stack of crates where Alphinaud had been perching was, at this point, unofficially “ours.” Lyse arranged herself on the top crate, and I sat on a different one; the deck hands paid us no attention at all. I wondered what the hell was even in these particular crates that they could just be out on the top deck in all weathers. _Surely they aren't just here for our use_.

My idle speculation stopped when Lyse spoke. “Last time you and I had a good jaw was back before that gods-damned banquet, wasn't it?”

“...Yeah, you're right. Gods, it's so strange to think it's almost been a year since that happened.”

“It feels like three.”

I nodded.

“Well, I heard all about Ishgard from Tataru and Alphinaud,” she said, “but not any of the _interesting_ stuff.”

I cocked an eyebrow at her, though I knew what she was after. She had teased me, it was my turn. “Interesting? Can't imagine what could be more interesting than ending a thousand year war and helping put together the beginnings of a whole new government after we murdered their former leader. Oh, and the whole ancient dread wyrm thing.”

She pretended to punch my shoulder. “The _men_ , Berylla, I want to hear about all these beautiful Ishgardian studs! You must have had your pick of mounts!”

I cracked up, and for a moment we were both just women – not Scions, not heroes, just friends who shared a taste in men and some pretty low humor.

I told her outrageous tall tales for a few minutes, the both of us giggling like idiots.

“You have a positively filthy mind,” Lyse wiped laugh-tears from her eyes. “But I heard some other things too. That Aymeric – did you ever find out if he was as good between the sheets as on the battlefield?”

My cheeks were already warm from laughing, but I could see from the look on her face that it didn't cover the way I blushed. “I found out,” I managed. My smile died. “Things got...kind of serious.”

“Oh? I wouldn't have thought it of you.” She cocked her head. “What about Alphinaud?”

I scrubbed my hand across my face and then raked my fingers through my hair. “I don't know, Lyse. It's...messy. Complicated, or...something.” I tipped my head back and stared at a cloud above us. “Alphinaud started...acting infatuated with me. Before the banquet happened, really. But after...”

I looked down and met her eyes. “We only had each other, Lyse. We honestly thought everyone else was dead or in prison.” I shrugged a little. “I leaned on him as much as he leaned on me. And I guess things just grew from there...but I don't want to even try dealing with how I feel about Alphinaud while there's still all this...mess...with Aymeric.”

“Does Alphinaud know about Aymeric? Or for that matter, the other way round?”

My face burned. “I haven't been talking to either of them about the other one, if that's what you mean. It seems like a stupid thing to do.”

“Not really. If they're not okay with you being with both of them, better for everyone involved to know about it.” She gave me a sideways look. “Even lying by keeping silent isn't a good way to handle a friendship, you know.”

I hugged my knees. “I'm nervous. No,” I corrected myself. “I'm scared. I already feel bad about Aymeric...”

“Is Aymeric why you've been crying every night?”

I stared at her for a moment. “How do you know...?”

“Your bunk is right next to mine, silly, I can hear you.” She nudged my shoulder. “Now, give over. What happened with Aymeric, then?”

I told her. The words hurt less, the second time going over it. But only a little less. I set my forehead against my arms when I was done, and just breathed for a moment.

Lyse spoke. “That was a dumb thing to say.”

“Huh?” I looked up at her.

“What kind of idiot just blurts out something like that?”

I blinked at her. “Well, he...” Something dawned on me. “I guess he was...upset. Scared. He _looked_ scared.”

“Still.” She sighed. “So do you _want_ to marry him?”

“Well I...don't...” I swallowed hard. “I don't know _what_ I want, Lyse.” There was an edge of whining to my voice, but I couldn't help it. “And I don't know if I can fix this.”

“Why should you have to try fixing anything?” she asked reasonably. “All you need to do right now is figure out how you feel, and then try to talk to him.”

“What if he won't talk to me?”

“Then he wasn't worth your time in the first place.” Her tone was flat, unforgiving.

I looked at her in dismay, tears stinging my eyes again. I didn't want to think about never talking to Aymeric again.

She seemed to understand my look, and her expression softened a little. “Not that I think Aymeric's that much of a fool.” Her tone was sympathetic. “Why not write him a letter?”

My eyebrows went up. A letter? The notion hadn't even occurred to me. “I could...I could do that. Probably. But what do I say?”

“Don't look at me,” she shrugged. “I'm the one that mostly resolves problems with my fists!” Her grin faded then and she gripped my shoulder. “Ask him to talk to you. If he won't even answer a letter in _some_ way, then you'll know where you stand.”

I scrubbed at my face a little. “And Alphinaud? Any sage advice there?”

She snorted. “Talk to the man. After all, what's to be scared of? Do you trust him, or don't you?”

I swallowed hard. “I don't trust _me_. I hurt him once already...and he hurt me. I don't want to go through that again. I don't want to screw up.” I rested my head on my arms again. “Gods, I am such a damn mess, Lyse. Maybe I should just be alone for a while, in that way.”

“That's up to you,” she said, and I felt her hand on my shoulder. “Just don't forget there are ways and ways to be with someone, and that before anything else we're your friends. All of us. If ever you need us, Berylla, just say the word.”

I leaned against her for a moment, and she gave me a one armed hug. “What would I do without all of you?” I murmured.

“Other way round, friend. We'd be lost without you. I know I would be, anyway.”

I made a noise in my throat, denying it without any real emphasis.

“Come on,” she said. “That's enough thinking for one day. Let's go play some more cards, lose some money to Tataru, eh?”

I could only shake my head and smile, but I let her lead me below-decks.


	4. Let Me Walk Beside You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Berylla's dream, referred to here, is posted as "Illusion."
> 
> This chapter also has a POV shift, though hopefully I formatted it in a clear way!

I couldn't get back to sleep.

The dream haunted me, the angry voice echoing in my head again and again.

I had whined so much about _my_ worries, _my_ feelings, _my_ wants. My friends had been too kind, listening to me like they had; and I hadn't even had the sense to thank them. Well, that at least I could fix. But the rest...

I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bunk. There wasn't enough air in here. I cocked my head, and heard rain on the hull. After a moment's thought I grabbed my blanket, and padded out to the great room. I wasn't stupid enough to sit out on deck in the cold rain. But I needed space around me, needed to think.

I sat on the bench, wrapping the blanket around my shoulders, and tucked my feet up onto the bench so that I could hug my knees. The blanket covered enough of me that the chill in the air didn't trouble me. The chill over my heart, though. _That_ was a problem.

I saw, dimly, how awful I had been. To Aymeric, no, to all the people around me. Taking, _needing_ , always; without giving back a damned thing. I hadn't even been able to really trust Aymeric, had I? Not if I had been that afraid of a simple phrase. What in every hell was _wrong_ with me?

I thought back to the time before we'd lost Minfilia. When I had been happily screwing Aymeric, and had fucked Y'Shtola without a second thought...and I could have had more lovers if I had wanted. A cruel little voice, an echo of the one in my dream, prodded me.

All of them would have been...apart. In little boxes in your heart, right Berylla? Take them down from their shelf and play with them until you're done, then tuck them away and don't let them worry you.

_No, that's not right. I'm that awful, am I? I needed them, I really did!_

I shivered and let myself slide sideways, until I was laying on the bench, huddled in on myself.

Like medicine, then. The small cold voice was merciless. Use them when you need them. Forget them when you don't. After all, what they want doesn't matter, does it?

 _Damn it, that's not who I am, it's_ _ **not**_. My head ached as the tears etched their way down my face, but a different ache settled in my chest. _I have to fix this. I fucked up. I have to make it right_.

But how? _How?_ _**How?**_

*

Alphinaud Leveilleur hated sea travel.

He woke from uneasy dreams, and sat up with a soft groan. It was like this most every night, just as it had been on their journey from Sharlayan to Eorzea. He had learned long ago to keep silent on the matter, however. Easier to suffer quietly than to give Alisaie opportunity to taunt him unmercifully. There were things she teased him over that he didn't mind as much, but she had never quite understood this fear of his. So he tolerated the constant mild nausea and the broken sleep.

The plain fact was, at least once a night he would have nightmares. He dreamed of the sea bursting in through the porthole, or making itself into some kind of awful tentacled creature. Or like tonight, he dreamed simply of drowning in an endless expanse of dark water.

He got up and eased out of his cabin. He'd walk around for a few minutes, perhaps step out onto the upper deck and let the sea wind clear his head. Then he might be able to get back to sleep.

But he paused as he realized Berylla's cabin door was open. Glancing in, he saw she wasn't in her bed. He frowned. This had happened before, and he had found her weeping alone.

He moved down the hallway, heading for the door, but he didn't have to go outside.

Berylla was curled up on the curving bench in the great room. A blanket was crumpled on the ground beside where she lay – obviously it had slipped off of her – and he could see that she was frowning in her sleep.

He went over to her and touched her shoulder, then shook her. He tried calling her name softly, then louder, and she mumbled, then opened one eye. He set the back of his hand to her forehead.

“Why are you out here instead of in your cabin? You aren't fevered...”

“Bad dreams,” she muttered, her voice raspy. “That's all. Don't worry about it.”

He noted how puffy her eyes were, the crease of pain between her brows. She had cried herself to sleep, alone out here, and not one of them had heard her. How often had this happened over the past seven weeks?

“May I sit with you for a little?”

She gazed at him, and for a moment he worried she might push him away. But then, she shivered, and he swiftly bent to retrieve the fallen blanket.

“Here,” and he sat down, then tucked the blanket over her. She partially sat up, as if to protest, but another shiver ran through her and she seemed almost to collapse back down – but now she rested her head on his leg. Not quite in his lap, and he sensed the placement was very deliberate. He let her settle, and touched her hair – loose as it was, he didn't want to pull at any tangles. She grasped the edges of the blanket with her fingers and sighed deeply, a sound that made him shut his eyes for a moment for the depths of loneliness he heard there.

“I, too, have had trouble sleeping,” he told her. “I understand, if you don't want to talk about the nightmare you had.” He petted her hair a moment more. “But I feel you should talk about something, to help relax your mind.”

Please, Thaliak, let her talk to him. There was a fear in him that if she didn't find some outlet for whatever was in her head, she might break.

“Talk about what?”

“Anything you like. If you wish, I will just listen.”

She was quiet for a time, and he began to gently rub her back, slow, circular motions with no particular pattern. His other hand came to rest near the top of her head, fingertips just touching her hair.

“What was yours about?”

He blinked down at her, a little surprised by the question. “I dreamed of drowning,” he managed, keeping his tone as calm as he could. Beyond the hull, he could hear the ocean, its ceaseless noise, like the breath of a great beast. A beast that would devour them all if it could. He yanked his attention back to Berylla, focusing intently for a moment on the rough texture of the blanket under his hand, the weight of her head on his leg.

“Drowning?” she echoed, and then, “Oh. _Oh_.”

He braced himself. Surely she would laugh now, or try to comfort him with any of a dozen tired old phrases, the things that people fell back on when they didn't know what to say.

“I had wondered,” she said, “about some of the comments Alisaie made. I didn't want to embarrass you by asking.” He felt her hand on his knee, a hesitant squeeze. “That's a rough kind of nightmare to have.”

His breath left him. “How...” But he couldn't finish his sentence, too surprised by her response.

“How do I know?” She patted his knee. “I can't say I understand exactly – and I wish I could – but I can well imagine how difficult this whole trip must be.”

“You don't think me childish for fearing the water?” His words were harsh, and he wondered for a moment what answer he hoped for.

“I think fear is a thing we can't always control,” she answered. “At least yours makes sense. Drowning hurts a lot. There are no pleasant ways to die, but that one is pretty low on my list.”

He coughed a little. “I forget, sometimes, that you have that particular...viewpoint on such matters.” Then he asked, carefully, “What fear do you feel doesn't make sense?”

She shifted, and then she was partly on her back, looking up at him. “Our bodies want to live. Anything that endangers that is obviously going to set off fear, even if it's not a real and imminent danger. The fears that come from other things...it's a lot harder to pin them down.” Her gaze slipped away, as if she were looking inwards. “No one ever died from being alone.”

“Was that...?”

She shook her head. “No.” Her eyes shut. “No, my dream was...guilt.” She turned back on her side, and sighed. “Alphinaud...even though we're talking again and all. It still hurts me a lot that I treated you so badly, and I want to fix it. If I even can. I don't want...” She hesitated. “I don't want to put you in a box again. If that even makes sense.”

Alphinaud gripped her shoulder, trembling.

“You think you treated me _badly_.” His voice broke as he said it. “After the disgraceful way I acted that day...you worry that _you_ hurt _me_. Thaliak have mercy, do you ever get upset on your own behalf, Berylla?”

“But I...”

“But, nothing. I pushed myself on you. It was wrong.” The bitter shame burned his throat like bile. “I was an idiot, Berylla. I came to you that day assuming you would be thrilled with me, with my attentions. Even after all the times you made yourself clear about how you felt.”

He pushed down yet again the memory of that kiss. This was not the time for him to think of such things.

“I know all that.” She tried to sit up, but he held her. Despite his lesser strength, she settled back, even as she kept talking. “But Alphinaud, as much as that hurt me, I was wrong too. I leaned on you too much. I took you for granted and never once took _your_ feelings into account. And I know I hurt you with the things I said.” He felt her curling in on herself. “It isn't okay for me to treat you like...medicine. Something I take when I need it, but otherwise...”

He bent, forward and a bit sideways, so that he could lay his head on her shoulder. “What a pair we are. Both of us fools.” He sat back up with a small sigh. “So what are we to do, then?”

“We really can't go back to how it was before, can we?”

“The way we were...do you mean to go back to only working together, friends but never touching?” He thought he knew what she really meant. But he needed her to say it, to know that he wasn't merely believing what he wanted, so badly, to be true.

She hesitated, then sighed. “No.” But then she was silent once more.

He touched her hair, stroked it away from her face. “Tell me, Berylla,” he pleaded softly. “Tell me what you want...what you need.” He made himself stop there, forced himself not to tell her that he would give her anything. Not because it wasn't true, but because he understood that such words would only muddy the troubled waters between them further.

“Gods, Alphinaud.” Her voice trembled and her hand on his knee tightened. “I, I don't know how to tell you that. I'm not sure I even know the answer, honestly. I'm, I j-just don't want to say the wrong thing and break this _too_ and – ” She dragged in a breath. “And...there's Aymeric.”

“I know.” Alphinaud let a little humor show in his voice. “The Lord Commander and I had a small conversation regarding you, not long ago.”

“I thought maybe you two had talked. He didn't bring it up.” She paused, then turned on her back to gaze up at him. He could see faint glimmers on her cheeks; tear tracks. “I didn't think you would be this okay with talking about him.”

“I understand. After the way I behaved...” He combed his fingers very slowly through her hair. “I have thought about that conversation a great deal, since then.” He focused on untangling the fiery tresses that slid across his hands, instead of meeting her eyes. “I have only one question regarding him.”

“What?”

“Does he make you happy?” He looked at her face, then, and saw her eyes well up, saw a fresh tear slip down. He caught it with his thumb, and she set her hand over his.

“He did,” she whispered. “But I think I screwed up everything with him.” She gulped a breath. “You've been one of my dearest friends, Alphinaud...I don't want to be alone. I'm scared. Scared that if we try to – ” her voice stuttered into silence for a moment, “I don't want to ruin your life.”

“If being with you is to invite ruin,” he told her, “then I welcome it.”

She shook her head, her mouth twisting as she held back a sob. He marveled for one moment how this woman – this incredible woman who faced down gods and armies alike without hesitation or doubt – could be reduced to tears by his soft words. More than ever, he knew he had to move carefully.

“Would it feel safer to you,” he asked, stroking her cheek, “if we were to form an agreement between us? To give ourselves limits, in a way.”

“Limits...like what?” She sat up, then, and arranged herself so that she was facing him, one leg folded under her and her shoulder leaning against the back of the bench. Putting distance between them – but not much. They could easily reach out to each other. He took that as a good sign.

“I think it need not be said that you still do not want me to kiss you,” he began, then paused. Even in the uncertain light, he could see the pink rising in her cheeks. He cocked his head and raised his eyebrows.

She picked at the edge of the blanket. “I liked it,” she said, then ducked her head a little. “Too much.”

He had to set his hand over his mouth in a pose of thinking, to hide his somewhat giddy grin. “Well, then,” he managed. “Let us not tempt ourselves over-much. Yes?”

She nodded. After a moment she seemed to get control of her blushes, and met his eyes again. “Hugging?”

“I believe we both can handle that,” he nodded. Then, cautiously: “Would you be upset if we keep this all discreet?”

She blinked. “Why would I be upset? I assumed you would want that. I mean,” she made a vague waving gesture with her hand, “You've always been pretty reserved in public anyway. And I'm used to it. Aymeric needed discretion too.” She hesitated, biting her lip. “What about...me and him?”

“Since he is not here,” Alphinaud shrugged a little, “I think we can worry about that question a bit later. Though...he did mention to me that the two of you had a similar arrangement to yourself and Lord Haurchefant...?” He didn't want to let her know that he had heard what she'd told Tataru. The knowledge that Aymeric had proposed – even if Berylla had turned him down – was still a cold weight in his belly. He was not yet ready to deal with those questions.

“I...” she swallowed hard. “Yes.” Nothing more than that, and he sighed inwardly. She didn't trust him enough to confide in him. At least, not yet.

She tugged the blanket a little closer around her. “That means the same for you,” she said, and he blinked at her. Her lips curved just a little, a sly sort of look crossing her features. “If you find a pretty girl to tumble, I won't say a word.”

He knew he was blushing by the way her smile widened, but he tried to keep his tone even. “A most even-handed arrangement.”

“Just seems like it's only fair, especially if we aren't...um...” She cleared her throat.

“I am content to wait,” he reassured her, “until such time as you feel ready to add to our agreement.”

“It seems very unfair,” she said after a moment, “to keep you waiting without some kind of end in sight. Maybe...would it be okay to say that we talk about this again in a few months?”

“A very wise idea,” he nodded. “Much can change in just a few weeks.” He let her see his wry grin as he chuckled, “Including one's height. Half of my things had to be let out in the leg before we left.”

Her eyes sparkled. “It's about time you got taller.”

“It is a well known fact,” he said, pretending to be huffy, “that Elezen do not generally gain their full height until nearly age twenty.”

She laughed quietly. Then, her smile died. “Are we doing something stupid, Alphinaud? Are you sure you want to put up with – well, with being at arm's length?”

“I am very, very certain of what I want,” he told her firmly. “And what I want is for you to be happy. I will give you whatever you need, whatever I can, to ensure that. If that means waiting, then I will wait. If it means sharing, then I will try to share.” He shrugged a little. “So long as you are willing to give me a chance to show you how I feel...”

She closed her eyes. “I hope you're okay with me not saying...romantic things. Not now...not yet.”

He waited until she opened her eyes once more to reply. “I ask only that you let me stay by your side.” He held his hands out to her. “Let me walk beside you and see where this road takes us.”

She reached out, and slid her hands into his. Her touch made him feel warm all over. “That sounds like something I can handle,” she murmured.

*

*

I woke up late in the morning. But I woke up feeling better than I had for a long time – steadier. There was a shivery feeling in the back of my mind, contemplating what might happen next between me and Alphinaud. But I believed him, even now in the light of day.

There were _still_ plenty of things that could go wrong, we were _still_ heading into danger practically blindfolded, and I _still_ didn't know what the hell I was going to do about Aymeric.

But as I had held Alphinaud's hands, as he'd walked me back to my cabin – a silly show of chivalry that we had both smiled over – as he had given me a chaste kiss on the cheek...it all seemed manageable again, as it had when we left Castrum Oriens. I would talk to Lyse again, and Tataru. Tell them how much they meant to me, tell them “thank you,” as I should have done before. Alisaie, too.

We only had each other now. I _would_ take better care of my friendships.

We'd pull off this crazy plan. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so very much to the fabulous HorseChiffon for the sketch!


	5. Far From Home

I stood at the railing, in a section the first mate had assured me would keep me out of the way. The crew – who had seemed to spend a lot of time below-decks while we'd been out in the open sea – were everywhere now. There was so much yelling, conversation would have been impossible even if I had wanted to talk to anyone.

I'd seen ships come in to dock before. It still never ceased to fascinate me, and I had never seen any big port except Limsa. Kugane was a feast for the eyes even five miles out. There were colors everywhere, banners rippling in the sea breeze – was some kind of festival going on? I hadn't seen such a rich display since the day Ishgard had officially joined the Alliance...

I could hear people shouting as we came closer, guided in by a very brave fellow in a very small skiff. The ceruleum engines were purring, giving just the barest momentum to the ship, letting Carvallain ease his way into the chaos that was Kugane Docks.

The place was enormous – and laid out much differently than Limsa. And yet even from here, unable to read any of the signage, it all made such a wonderful picture. I wished I had a head for poetry. Surely this deserved some kind of lovely descriptive poem. Something involving harmony and chaos and...I didn't have those kinds of words.

Alphinaud might have. But Alphinaud was below-decks, nursing a mug of strong peppermint tea, and trying his best to wait out the end of our journey _without_ sicking up. In a rare show of sisterly concern, Alisaie was sitting with him, rather than teasing him. Tataru had collared Lyse to help her with something – I'd heard the word cargo and stopped listening, even as I made tracks for someplace _else_ to be.

So it was just me out here, watching as the captain slipped the Misery into her berth, snugging up to the pier so smoothly that I wanted to applaud. Sailors leaped over the sides, lines in hand, and made the ship fast, even as the hold was opened and the longshoremen started gathering to offload whatever needed to stay in this port – and whatever was going to be loaded onto the ship in turn.

I made my way to the quarterdeck, and met Carvallain just as he was reaching the stairs. He grinned at me, and I grinned back. “One hell of a job,” I complimented him.

“The engines make it a deal easier.” He waved his fingers a bit.

I laughed at him. “I'm as astounded by that show of modesty as I am by your seamanship. Easier or not, that was still fine steering.”

His dusky cheeks colored just a little, and then he winked at me. “I am, after all, the best privateer on the five seas.”

Carvallain and I ended up walking down to the head of the pier together. Our things were taken care of, and the others could all get themselves off the ship without help. My personal pack – far smaller and lighter than my field pack – had already been on my back when I came up on deck hours ago. There had been very little for me to do, and Carvallain had made it clear I was welcome to hang about and watch him settle things with the port-master's boy and the paper-pushing sorts. Perhaps he'd even been grateful: having my relatively tall self and my very large axe looming behind him surely seemed to hasten the proceedings. I noticed right away that most of the Hyur here were a _lot_ shorter than those I was used to seeing. They all had black hair, too, and all seemed to sport strange wrapped clothing the like of which I'd never seen. I knew we were here for serious business, but this place was absolutely _fascinating_.

Alphinaud scowled when he caught sight of Carvallain and me walking up. I stuck my tongue out at him, and his ears went pink before he turned his head, pretending great interest in nothing much just beside him. Tataru waved cheerfully.

Here at the head of the pier, near the foot of an impressively tall tower, it was a lot quieter. Carvallain smiled and gave us all a small bow, his hand over his heart. “Congratulations. You now stand in Kugane, the western port of Hingashi. Regrettably, the only port in this nation open to foreign trade.” His smile widened a bit. “Myriad delights await you, should you elect to explore and experience – assuming you are sufficiently _open-minded_ , that is. I, alas, cannot afford to linger.”

Then he took my hand, and bowed over it, kissing my knuckles in a very courtly manner. “Oh, and I do apologize for the unforeseen difficulties which befell us during our journey. Needless to say, your assistance in overcoming them was much appreciated.”

I saw his eyes slide over to glance at Alphinaud – who looked like he was about to explode – and knew the pirate was deliberately provoking the younger Elezen. I tugged my hand free and made a shooing motion to him. “Your appreciation is noted, you incorrigible man.”

Alisaie spoke. “Well. Our first order of business ought to be securing passage to Doma.”

“Yes,” Alphinaud answered her, then paused in thought. “It is likely that Yugiri and Gosetsu were forced to come here for the selfsame reasons we were. They must have found a way to Othard─assuming they are not still in the city. Hmm... “ He looked around at the rest of us. “Ere we seek passage, perhaps we should first seek our friends.”

Tataru grinned and spread her arms. “Leave it to me, Alphinaud! Making friendly inquiries is my specialty. Lest you forget, I got plenty of practice in Ishgard!” She looked up at the Captain. “Captain Carvallain, could you direct us to the nearest tavern?”

“Desperate for a drink, are we?” he teased. Then he nodded to the tower just behind us. “You may find one in that large building. Whether your journeys have come to an end or are about to begin, the Shiokaze Hostelry is an ideal place to rest, relax, and reflect. Or so they say.” He gave us another, less dramatic, bow. “And with that, my dear Scions, I bid you farewell. As soon as we have replenished our supplies, we must away. Ours was ever a fast-moving business.”

Alisaie crossed her arms and scowled at the man, but this time, the expression was laden with a certain amount of humor. “The 'spice trade,' you mean?”

“But of course. Surely you did not think I traveled halfway around the world and delivered you to your destination solely out of the kindness of my heart?” The captain's smile was sly, and Alisaie rolled her eyes; but as she turned away I could see her holding in a laugh.

Alphinaud's voice was dry. “Perish the thought. Thank you, Captain, and may the Navigator watch over and keep you.” He didn't even wait for the captain to turn away. “Right, then. To the hostelry?”

Carvallain waved one last time to me, and I wiggled my fingers in response before I turned and joined the others, heading toward the gigantic tower.

We paused just inside the wide archway – there was no door, merely the enormous archways wide and tall enough to admit seven mounted men riding abreast. It made for a pleasant breeze right through the common room – though it seemed there was nothing but the common room, here.

A great eight-sided room, with some stairs leading up along the wall; a square in the center seemed to be covered with pale, smooth gravel, and in the center of that, a comparatively tiny brazier sent up a fragrant smoke that rode the breeze.

But that was the only plain thing in sight. The tables were lacquered and the wood-work was all painted in red and black. All of it threw back the lantern light, giving the impression of gleaming cleanliness. The patrons seated at those tables wore the wrapped clothing like I'd seen already, but far more ornamented and complex in design than what the working men on the pier had worn. Black hair was everywhere – men and women alike seemed to favor wearing it long. Some had long braids, but a few had elegant looking sticks of painted wood skewering through equally elegant buns. I could hear voices above us, and understood that the wide stairs led to more seating in at least one level above the ground floor, but the center part of the room seemed taller even than the great audience chamber in Ishgard's cathedral.

Even as I made that comparison, I heard Alphinaud's murmur. “By the Twelve...I thought Ishgard remarkable, but _this_...”

I glanced over at him, and watched as the wonder in his eyes was replaced by a reluctant wariness. Just beyond him, Alisaie was staring, her pretty mouth open just slightly in surprise. To Alisaie's right, Lyse's face was somewhere between wondering and watchful.

“We are certainly not in Eorzea anymore.” Alphinaud's voice held equal parts of caution and eagerness. I found myself in complete agreement.

Tataru surveyed the room with a cocky grin. “A tavern is a tavern, Alphinaud, here or anywhere else,” she said. “Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to do what I do best!” Without waiting for any reply, she headed straight for the bar.

A blond man in peacock-blue robes intercepted her, by the simple method of stepping into her path so that she nearly ran into him. She stopped, and he smiled down at her. “A thousand pardons, my lady.”

Then he looked directly at the rest of us. “The Scions of the Seventh Dawn, I presume? I hope your voyage was not too trying.”

_How does he know who we are?_

Alisaie raised one pale eyebrow at him, her hand on her hip. “And you are?”

The man wore rose tinted spectacles, so it was hard to read his expression, but his voice was pleasantly embarrassed as he answered her. “Oh! Yes, of course! Forgive me.” He stepped past Tataru to stand before Alphinaud, and bowed in the Eastern fashion. “Hancock, of the East Aldenard Trading Company, at your service. On behalf of Chairman Lolorito, I bid you welcome to Kugane, and invite you to take refreshments at our local offices.”

He spoke with a Thanalan accent, yet he wore the wrapped robe of local fashion with the air of one who had long ago become used to it. His manner was a strange blend of the brash bluster of a typical Uldahn merchant and the more self-effacing speech of the locals, too. _What sort of odd fish is this? And how in the seven hells did Lolorito get word to him about us so quickly?_

“Lolorito?” Alphinaud did not sound pleased, not that I blamed him in the slightest. “I was aware his interests extended beyond the borders of Eorzea, but not so far as Kugane.” He crossed his arms, his brows knitting together in a scowl that only deepened as he spoke. “Regardless, I am disinclined to accept the hospitality of grinning merchants – especially those who serve a master with whom we have such a difficult relationship.”

I glanced to the sides and saw Lyse and Alisaie both watching. They hadn't been as tightly bound up in the nasty mess that had catapulted Alphinaud and Tataru and me into Ishgard, so I wasn't very surprised to see that they weren't angry as Alphinaud was. Behind Hancock, Tataru watched, eyes narrowed.

Hancock, meanwhile, seemed highly amused by Alphinaud's response. “My, such naked suspicion!” The man was nearly giggling. “I do hope that business with the Crystal Braves did not rob you of all faith in your fellow man. Or do you really think,” his tone edged further towards patronizing, “that the chairman is plotting to drag you into another one of his grand schemes?”

My own eyes narrowed, but Alphinaud went stiff. “I beg your pardon!?” he snapped. “If you are trying to win my trust, you are failing quite spectacularly!”

“Oh dear, have I offended you?” The man was definitely laughing at Alphinaud now. “Once again, I must apologize. Too much time in the Far East, you see. One is compelled to talk in circles around everything here, and one finds oneself longing for the invigoratingly candid speech of the Uldahn markets.” His tone calmed, dropping into a lower register. The teasing was over. “Though I see now, that this was neither the time nor the place to indulge said longing.”

A hint of a sigh at that last, as if he were genuinely sad that Alphinaud had not been amused by their exchange. _Maybe he's actually lonely. Maybe he's a total jackass. Or both_. I eyed him, as he bowed once more. _Probably both. What an odious man_.

Behind him I could see Tataru cross her arms and frankly glare at him. I wondered what was going through her mind.

Hancock spoke once more, quiet and earnest. “Might I suggest that we continue this conversation at the company offices? Too many eyes and ears here, you understand. It would be decidedly reckless to say any more.”

Alphinaud's arms were still crossed and his eyes still flashed with anger. “If I may favor you with the invigorating candor you apparently crave,” he bit off his words, “it would be decidedly reckless to follow a man I neither know nor trust.” He narrowed his eyes. “Give me one good reason why we should accept Lord Lolorito's invitation.”

Hancock didn't miss the particular venom Alphinaud loaded into that last word. He inclined his head, and a small smile crossed his thin lips. “Now there's the young diplomat I was told to expect. Very well, then. I shall explain.”

He made a small gesture that encompassed the room around us. “You understand that you are come to a most reclusive and secretive nation, yes? One whose borders are closed to foreign trade, save at this single port?” His smile was sharp, but no longer condescending. “Then it should come as no surprise that a great many parties have vested interests here. Merchants like myself are a given of course, but for every one of us, you may be certain there is also an agent of a foreign government.” Even with the glasses concealing some of his expression, I could see him watching Alphinaud's face for a reaction. “Many notable nations and empires have embassies here, you know – including the Garlean Empire, with whom you have such a...difficult relationship.”

Even I couldn't miss the way he threw Alphinaud's words back in his face.

Alisaie spoke up. “To paraphrase, Kugane is teeming with Imperial spies, one or several of whom could now be listening to our every word.” The glance she gave the blond man was impatient.

“Something to that effect, yes,” Hancock nodded. “Beneath the veneer of bustling trade, a war for supremacy is being waged between world powers. One might say we are standing on the front lines...but not in public.” The last phrase was carefully enunciated.

Alisaie gave a small sigh. “I still have my doubts,” she said, turning her head toward her brother though her eyes never left Hancock. “But he may have a point. I saw we accept his invitation. For now.” I didn't miss how her hand caressed the hilt of her sword.

Alphinaud's arms remained crossed and he still frowned. I looked at him as I spoke.

“I agree with Alisaie. Let us hear the man out first.” I let him see in my eyes that I was fully ready to cause mayhem if need be. It seemed to reassure him, enough at least that he nodded at last.

Hancock smiled, and bowed once more, then gestured for us to follow him.

The blond merchant led us through the city, chatting as if we were simply customers being given a friendly tour of the place. Alphinaud walked just in front of me, Alisaie beside me; and Lyse was last in the group, very much on guard. Tataru, meanwhile, walked right beside Hancock and kept up polite chatter, saving the rest of us from having to say a word.

“I don't like the cut of that man's jib. Not one bit,” Alphinaud muttered. I glanced at him, raising one eyebrow at his nearly petulant tone of voice. He reddened, just for a moment, and picked at an invisible bit of dust on his coat sleeve. “Forgive me. The mere mention of the East Aldenard Trading Company is enough to...” His mouth tightened, but then he took a long breath. “I am fine. Truly. You need not worry.”

“I'm not,” I murmured, and he gave me a sideways glance before managing to get his neutral, diplomatic expression back in place.

When we reached the marketplace, Tataru was in her element, and quite excited. But it was when we approached the next quarter of the city – marked by ornate gates – that all of us went on guard for true.

“This road leads to the _Ijin-gai_ : the district in which “ijin”─or foreigners─are permitted to reside,” Hancock explained, pausing before going through the gate.

Alphinaud's voice was smooth, though maybe only I noticed the momentary curl of his fist. “Would this also be where the foreign embassies are found─including that of a certain empire?”

“Precisely.” Hancock nodded. “So you see, it would not be at all unusual to cross paths with one of our Garlean cousins here. With this in mind, I would encourage you to choose your words carefully. We would not want any physical altercations, after all, such spats being strictly forbidden!” His slight smile faded completely, and his voice took on once more the lower register that told me he was quite, quite serious. “The Sekiseigumi punish breaches of the peace quite severely. I have seen foreigners permanently exiled for a single violation─though, to be fair, this is not common. More often than not, they are executed on the spot.”

I bit my lip, and Lyse put one hand to her mouth. “What? Cut down then and there?! You're joking, right?”

“Would that I were, but alas, these samurai are a humorless lot.”

“Then,” I said quietly, “we will not cause trouble.” I pinned Hancock with my gaze. “Let us continue, if you please. We agreed to hear you out, not take a long tour of the sights with you.”

He grinned, and for a wonder, he actually shut up and led us onward along the path.


	6. More Questions Than Answers

We were, at last, inside the offices of the East Aldenard Trading Company. Tataru gazed around appreciatively, and Lyse had relaxed just a bit. Alphinaud was still tense and watchful – though that didn't surprise me. What did surprise me was the way Alisaie was looking at the place.

“What?” I asked her in a low voice.

“He was not exaggerating when he spoke of their wards' efficacy. Whoever wove them did so with consummate skill,” she told me, clearly able to see the magic in a way I couldn't.

Still, her words reassured me. We would, at least, not be spied upon here. This was a safe haven from the dangers outside – so long as we could ensure that we could trust the people _inside_.

I turned my eyes to Hancock, and took up a stance to Alphinaud's right. “Now,” I said to the grinning merchant. “Start talking. And you'd better be persuasive.”

All had been made clear – and though Alphinaud still didn't like it, even he could not disagree that we needed a base of operations here in the East. Making use of the formidable resources at Hancock's fingertips only made sense. Secure communications with the people back home, a well established network of friends, favors, maybe even spies; the only thing we weren't being offered was money, and that actually made me feel better about all this.

Add in to that the obvious comforts that would also be extended to us – comforts he had been most clear were on his own initiative and not part of his master's instructions – and I was willing to tolerate dealing with the odious merchant.

We had been shown to a set of rooms – apparently they all linked to each other, with clever walls that slid along tracks in the floor. Those walls wouldn't muffle anything louder than a murmur – but then again, we would hardly be chattering among ourselves without due precautions. But it was snug enough, and safe.

I wondered if we would get fed sometime soon. I shook my head, and brought my wandering attention back to the conversation.

“If we're going to find Gosetsu and Yugiri,” I said, “it only makes sense to go ask around. Even in a place this big, someone would remember Gosetsu.”

Alphinaud had one of his sketchbooks in his hand, and opened it now. “I made some sketches of the two of them,” he told us, and handed one sketch to Lyse and one to Alisaie. “These should help.”

“All right. Let's get to it then,” I nodded. “There's all the morning left to us.”

Lyse and I had walked around a bit, mostly along the area near the hostelry. I had seen enticing hints of other places – what looked like another marketplace, and a whole row of what smelled like food carts. But no one had been willing to talk to us, and most of the people we passed eyed us with thinly veiled unease.

The last name Lyse had been given turned out to be the most unusual...citizen.

 _A talking fish. Why a talking_ _ **fish**_ _?_ I shook my head as Lyse fumbled for words, and kept sharp watch on the little gray fellow. He seemed very unoffensive, and yet...something in his manner made me wary. Lyse, of course, was utterly oblivious.

She agreed to meet the fish, at night, on the bridge that attached the hostelry to the airship spire. Then she turned to me and gushed, “We should get back and tell the others!”

I nodded, and took her elbow to guide her away. I knew how to make my stride look casual and still cover a lot of ground fast, and now I did so, almost dragging Lyse behind me. Not until we were down in the marketplace again did I stop and turn to her.

“I never thought I would say these words,” I muttered, “but I would rather work with a moogle than that...person.”

“Why? He seemed friendly enough, once I apologized.” Her eyes were wide with surprise.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “Lyse, I love you like a sister, but Thal's balls, you're thick sometimes.”

“What?” She put her hands on her hips. “What do you mean?”

“Come on,” I sighed. “Let's get back. I'm sure the others will want to hear about this meeting you've arranged.”

We got back to find the others standing in the inner office. Alisaie turned and nodded to us. “Welcome back. We ourselves returned but a moment ago.”

Hancock smiled slightly. “I hope my information was of value?”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

“We spoke with a number of merchants and captains at the southern piers,” Alphinaud said.

“Several recognized Gosetsu and confirmed that he had been searching for a vessel to deliver him to Othard. None, however, made any mention of Lady Yugiri...”

Lyse nodded. “Yes, it was the same story for us─and then you'll never believe what happened!“

She proceeded to tell the others all about the talking fish. I felt somewhat better about squashing her enthusiasm earlier when I saw the frown on Tataru's face, and the flicker of annoyance in Alphinaud's eyes. Alisaie was listening with a neutral expression, but I saw her knuckles turn a bit pale where she had her arms crossed. Even Hancock looked dismayed as Lyse finished her little story.

She smiled at everyone, still completely oblivious to the looks she was getting.

Alphinaud spoke first, his tone laden with sarcasm. “So this Gyodo claims to have aided both Gosetsu and Yugiri? How...fortuitous.”

“Not the word I would have chosen, Master Alphinaud,” Hancock put in.

Before he could continue, Tataru burst out, “Stupid's what I'd call it! How can you agree to his price without making any attempt to haggle? Or even confirming what it was in the first place!?”

There was a small pause. Hancock's mouth twitched, holding back a laugh. But when he spoke, his tone was serious. “Yes...that too was a misstep on their part, but it is not what troubles me most. Gyodo and his brethren are not renowned for their generosity of spirit. Rather, they are disdained as scheming moneylenders, ever eager to turn a profit from others' misfortune.”

Alisaie cocked her head. “Everyone else we questioned stated that Gosetsu was alone. Only Gyodo claims to have met both him and Yugiri...” Her next words were reluctant. “I suppose it's just possible that Gosetsu made inquiries by himself, and only called upon Yugiri once he had found a willing captain...?”

Lyse looked like she wanted that to be true, and Hancock shook his head at her.

“But it is equally possible─if not more likely─that you are being deceived. Do not forget that there are parties present in Kugane with agendas which may run contrary to your own.” He tucked his hands into the sleeves of his robes, a gesture I had seen a lot while we were out and about. “The viceroy was once a spy herself, as I recall. I should be surprised if she did _not_ have countless agents here in her employ─all eager to prove themselves to their new master. And what better way to do so than by delivering her the heads of foreign insurgents?”

Lyse looked around at us with dismay, and then disappointment. Her tone was sour. “Fine. You may be right about him. But if Gyodo's working for the Empire, who's to say he didn't try the same trick on Yugiri and Gosetsu? I mean, if he did, he might know where they are. And if he succeeded, they might be in trouble!” She saw that none of us bought this bit of fantasy, and sighed. “Anyway, if he holds up his end of the bargain, we'll have nothing to worry about, will we? But if he tries to betray us, I vote we take him prisoner and punch him till he tells us the truth.”

Alphinaud's mouth twisted a little, and I knew he was thinking about the probable consequences of such a punching session. Lyse had clearly already forgotten about the local guard.

But Alisaie unfolded her arms and tapped her lips with one finger. “So, if it's a trap, we'll spring it and deal with the consequences. Hmm...I like the way you think.”

 _Of course she's in favor of punching the guy. If those two had their way, every problem would be solved by scientific application of fists to face._ I laughed at myself, careful to hide it. _I guess I would prefer that too, though_.

Alphinaud rubbed his temple slightly, a gesture so reminiscent of Papalymo that it hurt a little bit. He sighed. “Very well...”

He nibbled his thumbnail for a moment. “We should prepare for the worst. Tataru will remain here, and I shall follow the three of you at a discreet distance.”

Hancock looked around at all of us, his mouth tense. “Once more, I must caution you to avoid physical altercations at all costs─even should imperial agents attempt to engage you. The Sekiseigumi will not hesitate to clap you in irons...or cut you down.”

“We know,” I began, but he lifted one hand.

“If anything untoward should happen, you are to return here at once. Is that clear?”

I blinked at him, surprised at the sudden and very real concern in his tone. But it was also a good suggestion.

Lyse nodded. “We'll do our best not to get in trouble. But if we have to, we'll come running back here. We won't fight the guards.”

There was a moment of quiet, and then I said, a little plaintively, “You mentioned refreshments earlier. Dare I hope that means food?”

Tataru and Alisaie laughed, while Alphinaud just shook his head at me.

The staff brought food to us in the office – a very casual sort of meal, which relieved me. I wasn't quite ready to try eating with a pair of sticks as Hancock was doing.

There were familiar things, but the spice combinations were exotic and strange: this had clearly been prepared with visitors like us in mind. I was so engrossed in my own portion that it wasn't until I was done that I noticed Alphinaud had devoured everything he had been given, too. I raised my eyebrows a little – after all, usually he was the one teasing me for how much I ate! But I didn't comment, as much because Hancock started talking to me about the food as anything.

As always, I could have talked food for hours, but Hancock sighed after a bit and indicated that he needed his office back for his usual work. All of us got up and headed back to the suite of rooms we had been shown earlier, where a young lady waited for us. She wore the local fashion, but her hair was bronze-blond and her eyes were very blue.

“I am called Marie,” she told us, and bowed in the Eastern manner. “I am honored to serve you. If there is anything you require, simply ask.” Her lips quirked. “I am originally from Gridania, and I know exactly how strange customs can seem here, at first. I am quite willing to answer questions as best I can, in addition to my other duties.”

 _So then, a native of Eorzea. Probably here to listen to us as much as anything else. Still, good to know we have someone to pester for at least the basic local stuff_...

And yet, the bare room still unsettled me somehow, and I had a sudden itch to be elsewhere.

“Well,” I shrugged, “I'm not particularly tired. I think I'm going to wander the city.” I saw Alisaie's sideways glance and added, “Just to familiarize myself with the area better. After all...we might need it.”

It was a fib, and I knew she knew it – but she only examined her fingernails. “I'd prefer to stay here. And perhaps lend Tataru a hand.”

Lyse shook her head. “I'm ready to get a real bath, and lie on something that isn't moving for a while.”

“You should not be going about the city alone,” Alphinaud observed.

“Then come with,” I suggested, ignoring the glances traded between all three of the others.

After all, what was there to fuss about? Two friends walking around sight seeing – how much more innocent could you get than that?

He swiped at his bangs, and gestured to the door. “Lead on.”

We stepped back out into the street, and I took a long look around from the top step. I could see something off to our left that looked very pretty – a garden perhaps – but we would have to pass the Garlean embassy to get to it, and I didn't really want to parade past there again. So I turned to the right, and noticed a set of stairs leading up to a terrace of sorts. “Come on,” I said over my shoulder to Alphinaud.

The afternoon sun was warm, with the sea breeze keeping it _pleasantly_ warm. The streets were very clean – so much so that I wondered for a moment where all the people were, who must be working to keep it clean like this. Certainly the streets in Limsa weren't this clean, except in public places like the great plaza or the hawkers' lane; and those were cleaned in part by malcontents working off a relatively light sentence.

I reminded myself that such things didn't really matter, not now anyway. We needed to find Gosetsu and Yugiri, we needed to get to Doma: those were our goals. We weren't here to enjoy ourselves. And yet...I couldn't help but smile as I looked around. Why not enjoy just a _little_ bit, since we were going to have to wait until nightfall anyway?

I looked over at Alphinaud, now walking beside me, and held my hand out to him – offering, not insisting. The small smile he gave me before he tangled his fingers in mine made the day seem just a little bit warmer.

We walked along the terrace, keeping a respectful distance away from some very stern looking fellows in garb not unlike what Gosetsu wore – but only in its cut. The fabric was much richer, covered in patterns. Embroidered? I couldn't tell without getting close, and I knew better than to test the patience of guards, no matter what land I was in.

The street ran across the front wall of some sort of enormous building – or maybe it was something even more elaborate. But it ended with another set of stairs that led down into the main plaza where the exotic-looking aetheryte stood. I sniffed, catching good smells on the breeze, and Alphinaud nudged me gently. “I would remind you that we are far from home, with limited resources at our disposal. We are _scouting_ , are we not?”

I wanted to roll my eyes at his tone. Instead, I put on my Stoic Hero face and only looked at the food carts we passed. The things on offer all looked interesting and strange, and even though we had just eaten, the smells were _enticing_. I resolved to pester Marie about the foods of this place later.

We crossed another of the red-painted bridges, and I had to hold in another burst of very non-hero-like excitement. The entire street before us seemed dedicated to displaying the wares of weavers, with bolts and swatches of incredible fabric to one side and finished garments – that looked more like works of art on the oddly flat racks – on the other side.

I had never thought of myself as being particularly fond of “fine feathers.” But a length of sky-blue silk brocade caught my eye, and for an instant I imagined myself wrapped in an exotic robe, lounging on Aymeric's bed, and the look on his face when –

I stopped myself, and looked away.

My steps sped up, and Alphinaud had to hurry a bit to keep up with me. By the time I had calmed myself, we were in another area – a very quiet one. A residential district? But the buildings here seemed too large for simple dwellings...and why was there a sign above every door with a different flower name?

I was distracted by Alphinaud's tug on my hand. “Something troubled you.”

“Just...” I took a long breath. “Sorry. I had a stray thought that, um, bothered me. Not something dangerous, or anything, just...didn't want to think about that.” I let go of his hand for a minute, to run my fingers through my hair, trying to shrug it all off and act natural.

By the narrowing of his eyes, I was doing a bad job of it.

Looking around so I wouldn't embarrass myself any more than I already had, I finally noticed the scarlet lanterns over most of the doors we could see from here. My lips curved a bit. _Some things are universal_.

“Why are you smiling so?” Alphinaud asked me.

I glanced at him. “Oh right, you can't read the signs.”

I read a couple of them to him. I saw him notice the lanterns, and saw it dawn on him in the reddening of his cheeks. _This can't have been the first time he's been in the vicinity of pleasure houses, can it?_

“Well, at least now you know where to find a companion,” I teased. “Being so far from home and all, you might...”

“Certainly _not_ ,” he huffed at me.

I laughed, then pointed to another sign. “Look, that one – the Peony – it says they offer massages. Surely a _massage_ isn't too debauched for you, Alphinaud?”

“By the Twelve, you're as bad as my sister at times,” he muttered, and turned around to walk back out of the area. I followed him, trying to hold in my giggles.

“It's not like anyone would care if you hired a courtesan for a night,” I commented once I had gotten myself under control. “You made the rounds at the Toll, and no one breathed a word.”

He didn't answer, and even the back of his neck was blushing. I let it go.

The street of weavers ended in another of those graceful stone stairs, and when we reached the top of it, I smiled. I knew about the inn already – we'd visited that earlier – but this time round I noticed the building just beside it. “Baths,” I said to Alphinaud. “It says it's a hot springs. Wonder if it's anything like Bronze Lake?”

He looked intrigued for a moment, and then caught himself. “Perhaps it is,” and he gave me a warning look, “but we aren't stopping here. Not today.”

 _Well, it was worth a try_. I shrugged.

Our path led us past the flower district once more, but as we approached a smaller bridge crossing some sort of canal, I heard the unmistakable sound of steel against steel, and a measured chant. My eyes ranged ahead of us, and I set my hand on Alphinaud's elbow. “Look.”

“I am looking, but what am I seeing?” He sounded a touch impatient.

“I think that's the headquarters for the, the...local soldiers, or whatever. What was that word Hancock used?”

“Sekiseigumi,” he answered absently, the word falling from his lips as if he'd always known it. I wanted to roll my eyes at him a little, briefly jealous of how easily he picked up odd words – like so much else that was easy for him and incomprehensible to me.

I cocked my head. “That's a training call,” I said.

“A what?”

I looked at him in surprise. “How do you not know...? The trainer calls the pattern. They're likely just keeping in trim. He's calling too fast for students.”

“How do you know this? The Echo?”

“No,” I shrugged, “but the principles of fighting are pretty much the same anywhere you go. I'm sure they have techniques that are much different from what I know. But training, drills, that kind of thing? Never changes.” I tapped my axe. “None of the people here seem to use this kind of weapon. All of them are those thin swords like Gosetsu's.”

He seemed to want to say something, and held it back.

“We probably don't want to walk too much closer,” I said after a moment. “No telling how touchy they might be. I mean...they might be quite friendly. Or not.”

“So are you done touring the city, then?”

“Hey, it wasn't a bad idea. And you could have stayed behind.”

He looked away and swiped at his bangs. “You know why I came along, Berylla.”

I could feel my face turning red, and it only got worse when he noticed. I was glad he didn't tease me about it, and instead took my fingers in his again. “We should go back,” he sighed quietly.

“Well, let's go that way, then,” I pointed. Another bridge lay to our right – this time, black, and not curved. “Pretty sure that will take us back in the direction of the aetheryte at least.”

“Very well.”

We resumed strolling. The sun was sliding down the sky by now, and even more delicious smells rode the breeze. My stomach growled.

Alphinaud's stomach answered it.

He set his hand over his belly as I struggled to hold in my laughter.

I deliberately took a different path, once we had reached the markets again, to come at the foreigners' district from another side. If I hadn't gotten completely turned around, we would pass by that enticing spot of greenery I had seen when we started our little tour.

My hope was answered: the garden was directly to the right of the big gate that led into the district from the piers.

Alphinaud looked at me as I stopped at the place where a path led inside. I could smell flowers, and heard water splashing somewhere just out of sight, maybe on the other side of the ornamental bridge that made a centerpiece of the garden. It was enchanting.

“Not now,” he said.

I frowned at him, suddenly feeling mulish, even though I knew as well as he did that we really shouldn't linger. But I wanted to go in there. The promise of peace pulled at me, even if it was only an illusory sort of peace.

He set his hand on my arm. “I promise. We will make a little time. But not now.”

I let him see me sigh this time. But then I nodded, and we returned to the Ruby Bazaar.


	7. Communications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POV Shifts: this chapter will change viewpoints a few times, just a heads up!

_**Kugane** : Far East Branch Office, East Aldenard Trading Company_

The messenger accepted the leather satchel with a small bow, just as the wall chronometer chimed pleasantly to mark the midnight hour. The office was silent – for now. Their unusual guests were certainly lively sorts. But the employees who worked the midnight shift paid little mind to the comings and goings of any person of such particular interest to the Chairman. It did not profit one to be too curious about such things, not in this Company.

The Chairman had long ago instituted a rule that mail was to be collected and sent once a day at the Kugane branch. All but the very most urgent of messages to the headquarters in Uldah would thus arrive at the same time, each day – allowing the main office to handle everything while the sun still shone over Thanalan, no matter where a given branch office happened to be. The Garleans had been the ones to innovate such a notion – after they had proven that there was indeed a time difference between their provinces when moving east or west. The Chairman had merely capitalized on that information, and the company's profits enjoyed the boost of increased efficiency and reliable communications.

Keeping the entire Company on the same time-table, even when its branch offices were half a world apart, gave Lord Lolorito that much more of an edge on the competition. The fact that this required those branch offices to keep at least a skeleton staff available at all hours of day and night did not trouble the Chairman at all.

Therefore, it was midnight when letters were collected to be sent back to the home offices; the messenger would leave via aetheryte, arriving in Uldah just as the company was officially opening for the day. He would then wait while the mail that was to return to Kugane was collected, and return.

Among the letters emptied out at the Uldah offices this time was a carefully-folded envelope with a somewhat unusual address painstakingly printed on the front. After a short wait, however, that envelope joined the handful of others heading north via airship, again in a satchel slung over a different messenger's shoulder. Within hours, the envelope had reached the snowy city of Ishgard.

Mere minutes later, it arrived on the table in front of a tall woman in plate armor. Lucia nodded to the messenger, signed the slip of paper he presented, and sent him away. Nothing unusual at all. Just another day working for Lord Lolorito.

The slip of paper, returned to the main office, found its way into the Kugane man's satchel, and he headed back to the aetheryte.

*

_**Ishgard** : Borel Manor, morning_

“You,” Aymeric said to his reflection in the mirror, “are a damned fool.”

It had become a habit now, after these past seven weeks. Ever since the day he had all but collapsed in his own office – or more accurately, ever since the morning after, when he had forced himself to rise, and bathe, and shave, and go to work.

He had struggled at first. Lucia had made good on her promise to supply him with something that would make him sleep. His body was used to the cheap whiskey now, and he no longer had to contend with being ill every morning, nor did he have headaches quite so often. He was not _well_. But he was better than he had been.

Every morning he still forced himself to wake, to bathe, to shave. Every morning as he stood before his mirror, razor in hand, he told himself off again. Sometimes for many minutes, but more often, simply to call himself out as the fool he was.

Why, in the Fury's name, had he erred so very badly with Berylla? He hadn't ever intended to ask her such a vital question in such a precipitous manner. Panic or not, it had been a singularly foolish thing to blurt out...

He finished shaving and washed his face and hands, and tried not to remember how pale she had been. How she had _run away_ from him.

He strode back into his bedroom, and finished dressing. He carefully avoided looking at his bed. He was grateful that Milinne had not commented on the way he kept Berylla's vest laid across a pillow. As if she would be back soon for it. He would expire of humiliation if Estinien were to see that. The dragoon would laugh himself sick, most like.

But if he did not look, he would not think about it, and thus this too had become a habit: laying all his things out with great care of an evening, and dressing without once turning towards the bed.

Going down to the garden, to drink black coffee without so much as a single cube of sugar, and swallow a handful of pills in place of the sugary pastries he had once enjoyed.

Birch syrup left a taste of ashes in his mouth these days. Easier to do without.

Spending an extra ten minutes in front of the little marble shrine he had made for Haurchefant had also become habit; ten minutes that were brightened somewhat by the addition of a certain black kitten and his antics. Smudge was no longer quite so small – regular feeding alone would have put weight on him, but he was also immensely successful at begging, and so he was as pudgy as the squirrels that fattened themselves each summer in the gardens of House Haillenarte, and twice as fluffy.

Blancmange joined him during these mornings, too. She seemed to spend a great deal more time checking on him than before, but perhaps he was merely noticing her presence more because of her interactions with Smudge. Still, the two of them relieved the gray fog that swallowed him for most of the day.

He knew that the fog would pass – eventually. He had grieved before, after all. For his father the Viscount, for his mother, for Haurchefant. He was no stranger to loss, no son of Ishgard was.

What made this grief different was the uncertainty. She was not dead. She might come back. And if she did, what then? But his mind would not face the question. The path of grief was well worn in his mind and his spirit; perhaps it was only that which kept him half-convinced that Berylla would never return to Ishgard.

It was why he kept the vest where he could see it. Without that talisman, he would have given up hope ten weeks ago.

He heard the bells at the Vault chiming the hour, and set Smudge down on the stones with a final pat. Time to go to work.

*

_**Ishgard** : Congregation of Knights Most Heavenly_

Lucia regarded the letter with a certain sense of resignation. She had expected such a message would arrive – eventually. She was aware of the staggering distance between Eorzea and the Far East, but as she had no personal experience with how quickly one could actually make the passage by sea. After all, her own training had done little more than mention Othard in passing: even as a recruit she had focused more on the Eorzean lands that the Empire hoped to conquer...

A bit more than two months seemed reasonable, given her limited knowledge. And clearly, the Scions had already made some sort of contacts – possibly even found allies – if they were able to send letters. That settled her mind on at least the matter of being able to get in touch with the Warrior of Light, should need arise. For all that Lucia had personal reasons to never want to see Berylla Seahawk again – she could not deny that Ishgard might yet have need of the woman and her talents, outside of any interactions she might have with its Lord Commander.

She lifted the envelope, and let out a small sigh when she saw Ser Aymeric's name. For one instant she contemplated chucking the letter out a window into the abyss. But the moment passed, and she added the letter to the stack of papers for her morning meeting with the Lord Commander.

The weight of a certain, very ornamental looking link-pearl in her pouch seemed suddenly noticeable to her.

*

_**Kugane** : Far East Branch Office, East Aldenard Trading Company_

“The letter arrived, then?”

“Yes, Mistress Tataru. Just as you requested, our man marked down who took the letter from him. The signature is just here.”

Tataru tapped her lips with one finger. “Well, that's out of our hands now. On to the next item on tomorrow's list – I wonder if Alphinaud has found those figures yet...”

*

_**Ishgard** : Seat of the Lord Commander, mid-morning_

Lucia stepped into Aymeric's office and stood before him, one hand on her hip, a sheaf of papers in her other hand. She regarded him with that cool gaze that meant she was thinking hard about how to phrase something. Which meant it was something she thought he needed to hear, and anticipated that he would be unhappy about hearing.

“What is it, Lucia?”

She pursed her lips, then lifted an envelope from the top of the sheaf of papers. “A letter for you, Lord Commander.” She waited until his fingers had touched the envelope to add, “From Doma.”

His chest felt as if a red hot wire were tightening around it. His name was written in awkward block letters above the address. He didn't recognize the hand – and yet he knew.

Lucia spoke again, and he dragged his eyes from the envelope to look up at her.

“Read it now, my lord. I will be just outside.”

The door shut quietly behind her.

His hands shook as he carefully opened the envelope. The pages within were folded with great care, judging by how sharp the creases were.

_Aymeric –_

_I don't even know where to start. I've started this letter seventeen times now._

_I'm sorry about what happened. I was scared, and sad, but I shouldn't have just left like I did._

_I'm scared still. But you deserve better than me running away. So I will try to explain what I can. I hope something of this makes sense. You know by now, I'm not good at this._

_From the very start, I almost didn't believe you could really be attracted to me, you know? I didn't know what to think, that night with the hot water and the beer and...it was just so unreal to me. I could understand being valued – as an asset to a cause. I wasn't used to anybody thinking of me as anything else but an axe for hire._

_Every time I have been with you it's been...amazing. You never made demands on me, never expected more from me than I could give. You always made me feel so warm, you comforted me. I needed it. I still do. I need you._

_And gods, I miss you so badly._

_I can't stop being what I am. I can't make promises with my life, because it isn't really mine. I can't be a wife, to anyone. Not even to you. My heart doesn't settle in one place. I love you, but I also need to be able to love other people too._

_Your love means so much to me, Aymeric. I want to make you smile again. I want to erase the tears I caused, the pain I brought to you. I didn't want to hurt you._

_I don't deserve forgiveness. But if you are willing to talk to me, and tell me what I can do to try and atone for what I've done...I still have the link-pearl you gave me._

_They tell me it will still reach all the way to Ishgard._

_There is so much more I want to say. But I don't know how to put it on paper._

_This letter isn't enough. But I hope it will be a start, to fix what I've messed up._

He read the words slowly, three times, before he set the letter down on his desk.

Not now. He would take it home with him. Read it again there. With exacting care, he folded it once more and slipped it back into the envelope.

He dried his eyes, and cleared his throat. “Lucia. We have work to do.”

Lucia came back into the office and took a careful look at Aymeric. His cheeks were still a bit damp, but he seemed otherwise fine. Well enough that she would not inquire about the letter – the less she heard about Berylla, the better. It was enough to know that her commander – her _friend_ – was not going to spiral downwards into despair again.

*

_**Ishgard** : Borel Manor, night_

Estinien came to the manor the way he always did – in through an upper window. The lights were not on in Aymeric's bedroom. If what he had heard from his beloved was true – that the Lord Commander was drinking himself to sleep every night – Aymeric would be on the ground floor. Useful of his old friend to have such predictable habits.

Sure enough, when he walked into the sitting room, there sat Aymeric in the wing chair, facing the fireplace. He was somewhat surprised to see a bottle of whiskey beside him rather than his favorite brandy. This was the first time he had seen his friend drink something so...plebian.

Estinien eyed him. “Nightbird was right. You look like shite.”

Aymeric only grunted in response and finished his second whiskey. The fire was burning down, and the sitting room was dim and warm. The dragoon watched as Aymeric poured a third portion with grim precision.

“What in the seven hells has you in this state, Aymeric?”

“I'm fine.”

“Oh, well, if it's to be lies, let me get the cards.”

“Fuck you, Estinien.”

“If fucking would cheer you up, I'd say yes.”

Aymeric slammed back the half full glass of whiskey. “Go away.”

“It's Berylla, isn't it? You're moping over the way she left. _Again_.”

“I am not,” Aymeric said firmly, “ _moping_.”

“Oh? When even Nightbird is worried enough about you to mention it to me? And since when do you drink – ” Estinien grabbed the bottle and peered at the label. “This isn't even _good_ whiskey, Aymeric.”

“Lucia gets it for me. It does the job.”

“The job? Of what, rendering you stupid?”

Aymeric's knuckles were white on the glass. “I said go away, Estinien. I don't need your idea of a good talking-to. I just need another drink.”

“You've had too much to drink. You need a kick in the arse. Or a night between a woman's thighs.”

Aymeric's arm shot out. Glass shattered.

Estinien fell silent, looking at the broken glass glinting in the fireplace with a raised eyebrow.

“I don't need relationship advice from a man who could barely admit he _had_ feelings.”

“In all the years I've known you, you have never been this much of a stubborn ass. What set this off, Aymeric?"

Aymeric didn't answer, instead standing up. As he did so, papers fluttered to the floor.

Estinien bent and scooped up the papers before Aymeric – who was tottering slightly – could do more than curse.

“Give them back,” the lord commander insisted, trying to grab the papers back from his friend.

Estinien held him off without trouble, squinting to skim the letter's first page in the dim firelight. “Oh for – _stop that_ – she wrote you a letter and you're _more_ upset?”

Aymeric made a strangled noise of protest, but Estinien ignored him, lowering the letter and holding it out of reach.

“Aymeric, you need to talk to somebody. I'm a lousy friend at times, but I can keep my mouth shut on secrets, you know that.”

Aymeric's eyes glittered and his teeth were showing. Estinien scowled.

Aymeric stared at him for a moment more, then flung himself back down in his chair. “Fine.”

But he didn't speak, and after a moment Estinien sat down on the couch. He rattled the letter in his hand and ostentatiously began to read it. Aloud.

But after the second line he closed his mouth, his brows creasing, and read silently. In his chair, Aymeric covered his eyes with one hand.

“What bullshit is this about being a wife?” Estinien looked at his friend. “You didn't actually _ask_ her, did you?”

Aymeric's silence was an answer of its own.

Estinien stared for a moment. “You did. You bloody idiot.” He grabbed the whiskey bottle even as Aymeric sat forward and made a move towards it, and drank a swallow himself. “You _said_ you were going to wait to do that.”

Aymeric held out his hand, demanding, and Estinien let him have the bottle. Aymeric took a swig, then another. “Yes. I was going to wait. I already know that I made a mistake, Estinien.” He lifted the bottle for a third swallow and Estinien nicked it out of his hand. This time Aymeric just let it go without even a glare. “Maybe it is for the best. I have been forced to reassess my relationship with her.”

“Meaning?”

“I thought,” Aymeric sighed and slumped back in his chair, rubbing his temple. “I thought she understood me. I thought we could be partners. I thought,” his voice trembled for a moment, “I thought she knew me better than to believe I would tie her down and make impossible demands of her.”

“So you're just going to give up and drink yourself sick.”

“I have not drunk myself sick once this week.” Aymeric glowered for a moment. “That rotgut isn't all that strong.”

“Seven weeks ago...”

“That was then. I am not in any danger of a repeat performance. Lucia has made sure of that.” His blue eyes glittered as he grimaced. “She, at least, has the decency to leave me alone in my own home.”

“If you're trying to piss me off so I'll leave,” Estinien said, capping the whiskey bottle and putting it under the couch, “you're doing a shite job of it.” He crossed his ankles and took up a pose of waiting. “What else about it is bothering you?”

Aymeric was silent for a long time. The fire popped, and the log fell in on itself with a little puff of sparks.

“I never talked to her about any sort of future, you know.” Aymeric's voice was quiet. “When she was here, I spent all my time with her... _not_ talking. Somehow, I suppose I forgot that she is just like Haurchefant was – she wants, she _needs_ , freedom. I didn't intend to ask her to stop being who she is...but I admit, I didn't want her to go to Doma.” He leaned into the chair and his voice dropped to a whisper. “Maybe I didn't know her at all, Estinien. Maybe I was lying to myself all this time. But she said...she said...”

He broke off, and Estinien eyed him. A hint of wetness on his cheeks, a smear of the dying light reflecting back: Aymeric was weeping. “She said she loved me, Estinien. And then she _ran away_ from me. I know I said the wrong thing, but am I also wrong to love her so?”

Estinien scoffed. “You haven't had enough to drink if you think _that_.”

Aymeric looked at him, and the dragoon held his gaze with a deadpan expression for a long moment.

A rusty sound came from the lord commander's chest. It became a rumble, then a wheeze, and finally a laugh escaped him – laughter that was half tears, but the release of tension was there.

“Gods damn it all,” Aymeric sighed at last. He wiped his sleeve across his eyes. “What would _you_ do? If it had been Nightbird, telling you she was heading off into danger and...”

“You forget, I'm the one that runs into danger, not her,” Estinien answered. “But she would be free to go if that's what she wanted. We don't have to be in each other's pockets.”

“And has she said such words to you?” Aymeric's expression was one of morbid curiosity, as if hearing about Estinien's happiness in love would hurt him, and yet he could not help but ask.

“You let us worry about us, and think on what _you're_ going to do,” Estinien said, gruff. “Because I surely will not stand for you ruining yourself over that sentimental, stupid redhead.”

“I will not give up on her,” Aymeric answered, his lips set in a stubborn line.

“Well then you'd better write her a letter back, hadn't you? Or something of the sort,” Estinien's voice lost its sarcasm. “Contact her. Talk to her. You can't know where you stand with the woman if you don't talk to her first. And in the meantime...” He reached under the couch, snagging the whiskey bottle, and stood up. “In the meantime, get out of your own head. She's got Alphinaud and the others with her. They must have set up communications the instant they had a base of operations, no?”

“Yes...yes, they would have to do so, to send a letter at all.” Aymeric sat up a little. Estinien's hand rested on his hair for a moment as the dragoon walked past him.

“So then. Enough being an idiot. As soon as you've sobered up again, contact the Scions, send a message to her.”

“Where are you off to?”

“The kitchen,” Estinien answered. “I'm not leaving you on your own for tonight. Clearly you can't be trusted to take care of yourself.”

“Hmph, so you're appointing yourself my nursemaid?” But Aymeric's lips curved in a small smile as he said it, and he hauled himself out of his chair and followed his friend.


	8. Fishing Trip

We returned to find the Bazaar had been overtaken by a whirlwind, and its name was Tataru Taru.

Several employees were hustling back and forth, and in the center of the chaos, the Lalafellin woman stood on a crate with an expression like a strict matron. Meanwhile, Hancock was at her shoulder, watching with growing dismay and attempting to reassert control of his own people.

“What do you mean, you don't _know_ where those go? And you call yourself a professional?! No, unacceptable! We'll have to overhaul the whole thing!”

“Miss Tataru, are you certain...? It is quite late in the day, is it not?”

Alphinaud looked at me and we both grinned at the flustered tone of Hancock's voice.

“She has him at her mercy,” I commented under my breath, and Alphinaud barely held in a burst of laughter.

“Should we rescue him?” he managed, his eyes sparkling at me.

“No, but at the same time, we should probably get her to take a break.” I lifted my hand and my voice, waving at our friend. “Hey! Tataru! Any chance there's food for the starving?”

She glanced our way and broke into a big smile. “Just a moment,” she sang out, and then turned to Hancock, speaking rapidly but in a lower tone of voice.

Judging by the poleaxed look on his face, she was _issuing orders_.

Alphinaud had his hand over his mouth and had turned slightly more toward me, the better to hide his delight at the blond man's discomfiture. I didn't bother hiding it so much as just grinning with a kind of general looking around. Fortunately for both of us, Tataru got done talking, hopped down, and came over to us.

“Hancock actually arranged for a meal for us all, just after you two left,” she said. “He assures me that everything is in readiness, so all we have to do is collect the other two and make our way to the dining room.”

“How big is this place anyway?” I asked curiously. “I thought we'd seen all of it.”

“Oh, no, not at all. It's very spacious and reasonably well appointed.” Her smile was sharp, just the way Krile's could be at times. “It just wants a little reorganizing with an eye towards _efficiency_.”

Alphinaud's cough was probably hiding another laugh. But his voice was calm enough as he said, “Well, I am quite famished after trotting all over the city keeping Berylla out of trouble. Shall we?”

“Oi, you,” I mock-glared at him. “I didn't cause one speck of trouble!”

He laughed aloud as we followed Tataru.

The meal, this time, was a great deal more formal – though fortunately still with Eorzean utensils at hand – and nothing was familiar at all. I listened carefully as Hancock explained each dish we were offered, filing away the information for later. Surely there would be _some_ down-time, and then perhaps I could dabble in these fascinating new flavors and learn some techniques.

Most of it seemed to be based around rice, and a bewildering variety of spices, not to mention seafood. There was plenty of fish in Eorzean cooking, but the wildly different kinds of fish and numerous preparations of them was astonishing. I ate everything I was offered, and all of it was delicious. Even Alisaie noted, this time, that Alphinaud's appetite nearly matched mine – or at least, I assumed that was what her raised eyebrow was about. Alphinaud just shrugged at his sister as he neatly devoured the piece of _nigiri_ he had been given. Naturally, _they_ had mastered the eating sticks already. As both of them were seated across the low table from me, I had watched the way they handled the utensils. Maybe next time we had occasion for this kind of a meal, I'd try it.

I carefully told myself I wasn't just using that as an excuse to look at Alphinaud.

There was very little conversation, partly because Hancock was so occupied with speaking about the food – and managing to eat while speaking and yet not seeming at all rude. Perhaps he was attempting to recover face in some manner after being so thoroughly...overseen by Tataru. Certainly _she_ was pleased with herself. I'd not seen such a smug smile since the last time I'd laid eyes on Nero.

I pushed that memory away before it could lead me into darker thoughts.

The last dishes were cleared away, and we returned to what I had come to think of as the main room. Hancock gave me a small, apologetic smile. “Now normally,” he told me, “we would conclude our meal with sake, but given your...excursion for this evening, I think it best not to muddle yourselves. Wouldn't you agree?”

I eyed him. “I doubt your local brew is enough to _muddle_ me.” Then I grinned. “Perhaps something to reward us later.”

Alisaie spoke, then. “Yes, about this evening's...excursion.”

We all looked at her. She stood with one hand on her hip, and glanced around at us before speaking. “To review: Lyse, Berylla, and I will meet with Gyodo as planned. Alphinaud will keep watch from a distance, ready to provide support in the likely event that Gyodo attempts to betray us to the imperials or whomever else. Should that happen, you and Lyse will subdue him, and together we will make our escape.”

Lyse crossed her arms, looking well pleased with the prospect. I glanced at Alphinaud, but he didn't seem uncomfortable with this notion of skulking about. But Alisaie was continuing.

“As our actions will surely draw the attention of the Sekiseigumi, we will evade them with Alphinaud's assistance and return here with our prisoner. Does that meet with everyone's approval?”

I nodded – it was a decent plan. Her lips twitched at my usual silence.

Tataru said, “I had a feeling we might find ourselves in a situation like this, so I made sure to stock up on some “special supplies” that I thought might prove useful. Alisaie has them.”

I half smiled. “You had a feeling we would need to subdue a talking fish and skulk around the city avoiding having our heads cut off?”

She flapped her hands at me. “Oh, you know what I meant! Go on with you. It's almost time.”

Lyse and Alisaie headed for the door, and Alphinaud followed them. I brought up the rear of our little group, and we stepped out into the night.

Alphinaud paused a moment, and turned to me. “I spotted a good place to wait, earlier.”

I nodded. Part of me wanted to tell him to be careful, but I knew good and damn well that a week ago such words would never have crossed my mind, much less my lips. He was perfectly capable of handling himself, and just because we were...whatever it was we were right now, I didn't need to act like a fool.

The corner of his mouth turned up, and I looked away.

He headed off, and we stayed still until he had turned a corner.

Alisaie muttered, “Of course, these precautions will be for naught if Gyodo does not play us for fools...but we shall see.” She beckoned to me and Lyse. “To the bridge!”

An hour and a half had passed, by the clock in the foyer. Only an hour and a half, and yet I was as tired as if I had spent an entire afternoon clearing out monsters in the Hinterlands. The only reason we all weren't still winded was our unusual savior, and his very wise plan of staying put for a good half hour, tucked under a set of stairs.

Hancock listened as Lyse explained why we had brought two extra people back with us. “Well done, you,” he laughed quietly. “When I saw the Sekiseigumi out in force, I did begin to worry, but I see my fears were misplaced. Come, then.” He turned and opened the doors into the main room.

As she carted our unconscious prisoner into the main room, Lyse muttered to me. “I'm still annoyed he tried to deceive us, but at least we were prepared for it.” She tossed the Namazu onto the couch with no ceremony – or gentleness. “Even so, next time we should probably try to avoid running around Kugane in the middle of the night with half the city guard snapping at our heels.”

“Agreed,” Alisaie nodded. “Though, there's no denying that those _were_ imperials. They were wearing the same uniforms as the ones outside the consulate.”

“I don't think any of us really doubted it would be,” I shrugged.

Meanwhile, Hancock and Tataru eyed our other guest. Alphinaud spoke to them.

“All things considered, that went rather well. Thanks to Soroban, that is.”

The turtle-like man – what had he said, Kojin? – lifted one gnarled hand in greeting. His voice was deep and friendly and reminded me of Gosetsu, only quieter.

“My pleasure,” he rumbled.

Alphinaud smiled slightly as he asked, “Why would you deceive the Sekiseigumi to help us – foreigners of whom you know naught?”

Every eye in the room – well, except for Gyodo – fastened on the Kojin. He looked back at us, and it was hard to say what he was thinking.

“Why, out of the kindness of my heart,” he began, and then his tone shifted to one of mild embarrassment. “That is what I would like to say, but my motives are not so pure.” Even with the strangeness of his face, I knew then that he was smiling. “I chanced to witness your meeting with Hancock at the tavern, and saw an opportunity.”

I heard Alisaie mutter something behind me. It sounded like one of the viler curses we'd heard on board the Misery, and I had to work to keep my usual Stoic Hero face on and not grin.

“An opportunity?” Hancock asked with interest.

Soroban nodded. “Like many, I came to Kugane to make my fortune. Kojin of the Red may serve the Empire as mercenaries, but Kojin of the Blue walk a different path. Regretfully,” he made a gesture that seemed to stand in for a shrug, “most here would rather not meet our gaze, much less do business. So I seek the custom of those less predisposed to dismiss us outright. Namely, the East Aldenard Trading Company.”

“Quid pro quo, is it?” But Alphinaud sounded amused, not annoyed. “Well, there is no denying that we owe you a debt. What say you, Hancock? Will you consider doing business with our entrepreneurial friend here?”

Hancock laughed. “I would be honored to hear your proposal,” he told Soroban. “In matters of trade, the company does not discriminate. However...” he eyed the catfish on his couch, “Perhaps we might discuss it after dealing with our – other guest.”

“Morning shall be soon enough for me,” Soroban said equably. Then, he turned towards Alphinaud. “Ah yes – you sought passage across the Ruby Sea, did you not?” I was sure he was grinning, even if his mouth didn't curve the way I was used to. “I have a ship you can use.”

“You do?” Alphinaud sounded very, very pleased. I couldn't see his face, but I was willing to bet he looked like a cat that had gotten the cream. “Well, then! Far be it from us to refuse! You have our deepest thanks.”

“And you, mine,” the Kojin answered.

All of us turned our attention to the small gray figure on the couch.

“Right, then. I think it's time we had a little chat, don't you?” Lyse pushed at the Namazu's shoulder with one hand. “Rise and shine, little fishy. I know you can hear me, so stop pretending to be asleep or I'll give you another ride on my boot.”

Gyodo wriggled until he was standing up. It was hard to tell if he looked scared, but he definitely _sounded_ scared. “No! No, no, no more boots! All my secrets are yours for the asking!”

“Tell us what you know about Yugiri and Gosetsu. Every last detail.” She lifted her fist. “And if I find out later that you lied to me...”

“No, no, no more lies! The clear, unvarnished truth! You have my word! Only the samurai did I meet. Yes, yes, only him! He asked after a ship, so I provided an introduction to...to the Garleans...”

Alisaie set her hand on the hilt of her rapier. “You mean you led him into a trap, as you did us. Because you are an imperial spy.”

Gyodo made a noise of distress. “No, no, I am no spy! It was just business! Fewer ships pass through Kugane these days, and we have struggled to make ends meet.” He glanced around at us and found no sympathy. “So when the Garleans offered a bounty for any Domans found in Kugane...”

“Oh, my mistake! You're not a spy, but a common cutthroat!” Alisaie's tone could have cut steel. “Not that I'm surprised─you need half a brain to be a spy. So what happened to the samurai?”

“Such a cruel, vicious tongue you have...” Gyodo sobbed. “He would not go quietly, no, no. Blades were drawn, men were cut down, and the Sekiseigumi came. They took the samurai away.”

Hancock's eyebrows went up. “Hold on a moment! You mean to tell me the ijin they arrested the other day was Gosetsu?” When Gyodo nodded, he snapped his fingers. “Oh, had I but known! If he is in the custody of the Sekiseigumi, I need only see to it that the requisite funds find their way into the right official's hands, and your friend will walk free.”

Alphinaud's lip curled. “As it is in Ul'dah, so it is in Kugane...but given the circumstances, it seems we have no choice but to resort to morally questionable means.”

Hancock gave him his best, mocking, grin. “We'll make a pragmatist of you yet, Master Alphinaud!”

But his next words were serious, and directed at me. “You are free to wait here while I speak with the relevant official, but if you would rather wait for Gosetsu outside the barracks, we can go together.”

Alisaie tapped her lips thoughtfully. “I wouldn't put it past the imperials to try something again, so perhaps it would be best if Lyse, Berylla, and I joined you.”

I raised my eyebrows. _I highly doubt the imperials would try to assault us right in front of the Sekiseigumi. They're vicious, not stupid._ Then I shrugged mentally. _Maybe her blood is still up from the fight._

“All right,” said Lyse, “but what about Gyodo?”

“I have given you everything that you have asked for, yes, yes? Then there is no need for me to remain your prisoner?” The little fish-man looked around at all of us, his tone hopeful. His whiskers drooped as he saw the mild glares he got in return.

Alphinaud said, “I will keep an eye on him for the time being. We can release him after you return with Gosetsu. He will doubtless have some choice words to say to the little fellow.” He smiled at the Kojin still standing beside him. “Soroban – perhaps it would be prudent to prepare your ship for our immediate departure.”

“As you wish!” Soroban nodded, and headed out.

While we spoke among ourselves, Hancock had gone over to his desk and rummaged about, withdrawing a small leather pouch that jingled as he tucked it into some hidden pocket in his sleeve.

“Everything is in order? Then let us be off.” He too headed for the exit, with Alisaie and Lyse right behind him.

Alphinaud turned to watch them leave, and I paused when I met his eyes.

He swiped at his bangs, and muttered, “One of these days, I may just punch that man in the face.”

My grin was fleeting. For a moment I just looked at him. _Just tired. It's been a long day, it's catching up with me, that's all. Not staring_.

He made a slight shooing motion with one hand. “You need not worry. I swear I will not let him out of my sight. In fact, I may have some more questions of my own.”

Gyodo shrank down against the couch cushions.

I caught up easily with the others, and presently we had come to the Sekiseigumi barracks. There was no call now – not surprising given the hour – but there were still some sounds of practice, if the ring of steel was any indicator. Hancock didn't turn a hair, so obviously such sounds were not out of place here, even after midnight.

He turned as we reached the entrance. “I must ask that you wait here. You may be assured that this will not take long.”

Alisaie folded her arms, and I leaned against the nearby railing. Lyse stood beside Alisaie, and watched Hancock go into the barracks with a mildly perturbed look on her face.

The night air was very pleasant, with a faint scent of lilac wafting to us from over the wall and the tang of salt on the breeze. There were night birds of some sort in a tree near us, and though I was no musician, their song sounded very sweet to my ears.

“...Is it really going to be as simple as he says, do you think?” Lyse shuffled her feet a little.

“Likely it will all turn out as he expects,” I answered. “He's obviously done this before.”

She nodded. Then, she folded her arms. Shifted her weight. Unfolded her arms. I watched her fidget for no more than two minutes before she asked, “...He said it wouldn't take long, right? Because this feels a bit long to me.”

Alisaie shook her head. “Calm down, Lyse. Everything is going to be all right. Much as I hate to admit it, I share Hancock's dim view of government officials and their supposed incorruptibility.” Her mouth twisted a bit. “From what I've gleaned of the Far East, they're probably exchanging lengthy pleasantries. There seems to be a correct way to do everything here, bribery being no exception. I say we leave them to it. Right, Berylla?”

“Yup,” I agreed easily. “No point in getting antsy.”

“Right, right. Everything's fine. Probably. I mean, it couldn't be as bad as the last time we stood around waiting – ”

A sudden clash of steel on steel rang out – much louder than what we had heard before – and a bellow followed it. All three of us jumped.

Lyse barreled inside, and Alisaie and I were forced to follow her.


	9. Splitting the Party

We walked back to the Ruby Bazaar in much better mood. I couldn't quit grinning at Lyse, who was pointedly ignoring me. On my other side, Hancock strolled, smiling; behind the three of us walked Alisaie and Gosetsu.

Lyse's panic had been for nothing, and even Hancock's bribe had not been strictly needed. Gosetsu, the maniac, had won his own freedom – by agreeing to spar with several of the Sekiseigumi officers. A lesson in swordsmanship, apparently. Alisaie had been astonished, and Lyse was still pink in the cheeks from embarrassment. Meanwhile, Hancock and I had both just laughed.

Gosetsu was speaking quietly to Alisaie now as we walked, relating how his prowess as a master samurai was well known, and how he had instructed the men before beating them thoroughly in their sparring match.

Hancock glanced over at me. “This trip was not for naught, at least,” he chuckled. “Our friend in the Sekiseigumi is willing to consider this an investment of sorts – a payment against future misunderstandings.”

“Hopefully we'll avoid misunderstandings,” I answered, “for a while at least.” I laughed a little. “I had no idea our mission here would be so lively so soon.”

Gosetsu spoke a bit louder, to make sure we all heard him. “I must apologize. That you endured such trials and tribulations in search of me...”

Alisaie laid her hand on his arm. “There's no need for that. You had no way of knowing we would come looking for you.” She smiled up at him. “You were after a ship to take you to Doma, yes? It just so happens we have found a willing captain.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Truly? What fortune!”

“We will tell you all about it back at the company offices. Alphinaud and Tataru are waiting for us there.”

The moment we entered the main room, Alphinaud's face lit up. “Gosetsu! Thank the Twelve you are unharmed!”

Gosetsu laughed. “As you can see, Master Alphinaud, I am the very picture of health!” Then his eyes fell on Gyodo, who was standing beside the couch, shifting from foot to foot. “You! Vile fiend! Malevolent trickster!” He advanced on the little Namazu, his expression stormy. “How kind the kami are to grant me vengeance so soon. But first, I demand you return the coin you so villainously embezzled from me!”

Gyodo went to his knees, sniveling, “Y-You have every right to be angry, good sir! Gladly would I return to you your coin...had I not been forced to repay certain gambling debts beforehand...”

Gosetsu looked like he didn't believe a word of it, but Alphinaud stepped in before the big samurai could lay hands on the whimpering creature.

“Setting that matter aside for the moment─where is Lady Yugiri? Was she not traveling with you?”

Gosetsu straightened, his face clearing. “For a time, aye, but we parted ways some while ago, the better to improve our chances of finding Lord Hien.”

Lyse's face scrunched up in confusion. “Lord Hien?”

Gosetsu blinked at her, then rubbed the back of his head, giving her a sheepish smile. “Forgive me, I have yet to explain. Lord Hien is the heir to Doma's throne, and our master.” His voice was quiet, pensive. “His was a passionate voice for the cause of Doman liberation, and when we learned of the Emperor's death, it only grew louder.”

Alphinaud nodded. “So you seized upon the opportunity and rose up to reclaim your freedom...only for your hopes to be dashed when Zenos led his army unto your lands.”

The older man nodded. His sigh was heavy. “The crown prince was a merciless foe. Against him and the might of the XIIth, we had no chance.” He shook his head. “Once Lord Hien understood this, he bade Yugiri take to the sea with as many of our people as possible. He, however, would stand and fight, that they might have more time to escape. I remained by his side as well, and together we carried on our doomed war. And then, one day, in a fierce battle, we were separated. I knew not what became of him─only that he was beyond the Empire's reach, and that to find him, I would need Yugiri's aid.” He lifted his hands. “The situation grows more perilous by the day, for the new viceroy, Yotsuyu, is a black-hearted villainess who delights in the torment of our people. There is naught she would not do to further her pursuit of Lord Hien.”

The way he said that name made me shiver. He knew this person, somehow – or knew something about her – that made him deeply angry. I wasn't even sure how I knew, but I felt it in my bones. This viceroy was very likely going to be a major problem for us.

Alphinaud nodded to the samurai. “Thank you. I believe that makes matters a good deal clearer.” Then, he smiled up at the big man. “It should please you to learn that we are come to aid the Doman Liberation Front in resuming their efforts to overthrow their imperial oppressors.”

Gosetsu's eyes lit with a fire I had only seen before when he was in battle. “Then allow me to join you! My inquiries here bore no fruit, hence my desire to return to Othard. Once there, I can lead you to our headquarters in Yanxia, where we shall all be reunited with Yugiri!”

Alphinaud smiled at him, and started to answer – but Alisaie spoke up before he could utter a word. “Perhaps not all. Alphinaud's talents would seem better applied here in Kugane, working closely with Tataru and Hancock to feed us intelligence. There is a Garlean embassy just down the road, after all.”

Alphinaud frowned at her. “While I appreciate the vote of confidence, I should be glad to accompany you all – ”

Alisaie cut him off. “As a soldier in the field, so to speak? Come now, Brother, a competent commander assigns his soldiers the tasks best suited to them─as you of all people should know. And you are so very good at espionage and intrigue.”

The two of them faced off, and I wondered if they would actually argue about this. I had never seen either of them raise their voices to each other. Alphinaud's shoulders were tight and Alisaie's eyes were narrowed.

Then, Alphinaud sighed, and looked away. “"...For we all must serve, each in our own way." Very well. It would seem my place is here.”

Alisaie nodded, smiling just a little.

“You could leave now for the pier,” Hancock put in, “but it will be at least two hours before the ships will be able to leave on the morning tide. Might I suggest a short rest?”

Lyse and Alisaie shrugged. “We both got a good nap in, earlier,” Lyse said.

Gosetsu shrugged. “It matters not to me.”

“I wouldn't object to a quick cat-nap, personally.” I stretched a bit. “But I'll be fine if the rest of you want to go now.”

Alisaie's eyes were on her brother. “We can wait a bit longer, Berylla. Get some rest.” Then she looked over at Hancock. “While we wait, however, I'd like to trouble you for a map...”

For all the strangeness of the thin and movable walls, at least the front part of our suite had familiar furnishings. I knew that beds here were placed on the ground – not that much of a hardship, it was much the same as sleeping in a bedroll after all – but I was not going to try to take a nap on the ground. So I sank down onto the long couch that dominated that first chamber. I tugged my hair tie off and ran my fingers through my hair. Even that small difference would help me rest a bit better.

Tataru wiggled her fingers at me as she passed me, clearly heading for bed. After all, _she_ didn't need to do anything more right now. I smiled and bade her good night.

Alphinaud slid the door shut and started to head for his own room – then paused, and instead came over to me.

I tilted my head up and smiled at him. “You look tired.”

He shook his head a little. Color rose in his cheeks, and his voice was quiet. “I must admit, I do not like this business of being left here. It is foolish of me, I know, but...”

I patted the cushion beside me. “Well, then, sit with me until I have to go. It's the best we're going to get.”

Once he sat down, I arranged myself so that I was lying down. He took one of the decorative pillows and set it on his lap; gratefully I lay my head on the pillow. He looked down at me, and smoothed a few strands of hair away from my face.

“We both knew it was going to be like this,” I said. “I don't much like splitting up, either. But if it will give us even a slight advantage...”

“I know.” He began to comb his fingers through my hair. “You do still have your link-pearl, do you not?”

I blinked at him, wondering for a moment if he meant the one Aymeric had given me. But, no, he couldn't mean _that_ one, he didn't know about it. “Yeah,” I answered.

“We cannot use them frequently,” he told me, “since they can be listened in upon.”

“Do you want me to call you, or the other way around?” I smiled.

“Given that it is much more likely that I will be able to answer quickly no matter the time of day,” he smiled back, “It is probably best that you initiate the contact.”

I hid my sudden yawn behind my hand. “Sorry.”

“Rest.” His fingers didn't pause in their slow movements through my hair. “I will wake you when it is time.”

“Are you sure you're not tired, too?”

“Not yet.”

I woke to the sensation of his lips on my forehead.

I sighed, and turned towards him a bit, leaning into him. His arm curled around my shoulders, and I felt him press his cheek against my hair. “Come now,” he murmured. “It is time.”

I mumbled into his coat, but then levered myself up into a sitting position. I stretched, and my back and shoulders popped. Alphinaud's eyebrows went up. “Quite an alarming array of sounds,” he commented, and I laughed.

“Just think what I'll sound like when I'm old.”

He grinned, then rubbed at his face, trying to hide it.

“What?”

His eyes danced. “I rather like the thought of still being with you when you're old, that's all.”

I shook my head and pulled him into a one armed hug. I knew I was blushing but I wasn't about to acknowledge the fact. “You're obviously exhausted,” I told him, mock-stern. “Saying such things.”

He turned toward me and put both his arms around me, his cheek on my shoulder. “Try not to do anything too reckless.”

“I'll do my best.”

He let me go, then, and sat back. “They're going to come looking for you, if you don't go soon.”

“I'll check in as soon as we're somewhere safe enough to do so.”

“I shall look forward to it.”

I walked out into the main room, still tying up my hair, to find Lyse leaning up against the wall near the doors leading out. “You did wake up,” she said by way of greeting.

“What, did you think I wouldn't?”

She eyed me. “I was about to come get you.”

“Well, here I am, so I've saved you the trouble.” I gave her a small smile. “Where's Alisaie?”

“Already at the ship, I imagine. She left fifteen minutes ago.”

“Impatient, is she?”

“Hmm.”

I squinted at her. “What?”

She reached out one hand and plucked something off my shirt, and held it where I could see it: a single, white, silken hair.

“Nothing important,” she smirked. “Come on, let's get going, or she might leave us to help Alphinaud.”

I followed her, frowning a little.

Gosetsu was already outside, eyes half shut, apparently just taking the air. He opened his eyes when we stepped out, and waved one hand in greeting.

Lyse gave me no chance to ask anything; the pace she set was fast enough to keep us from making small talk. We arrived on the pier just slightly out of breath.

Alisaie saw us, and waved; as we came closer I could see Soroban, bent onto one knee, checking something on the hull of his boat.

It was not a great galley like the Misery – not that I had expected any such.

Lyse, however, looked surprised. “This one's smaller than the Misery. A lot smaller.”

“It's a sloop,” I shrugged, and then laughed a little as she gave me a blank look. “Trust me, it's big enough for the purpose. After all, we're not going to be on this boat for weeks.”

“Indeed,” Soroban put in as he stood. “This sloop has weathered many a storm and never capsized.”

Gosetsu bowed to the turtle-man. “A Kojin captain!” He smiled as he straightened. “A fine choice. Only Confederate sailors rival their knowledge and skill.”

Soroban bowed in return, and his voice was pleased. “All preparations have been completed, and my ship awaits its passengers. Shall we depart without further delay?”

We all got on board, and Soroban cast off, moving with quick, neat motions that spoke to me of long practice.

Gosetsu had already sat, in that peculiar Eastern style of his, near the center of the deck. Alisaie and Lyse were looking around. I sat down cross-legged where I was, and cleared my throat. “Easiest if we all sit for a bit,” I told them.

“Oh,” Lyse blinked at me. “All right, then.”

Alisaie started to open her mouth to question me, and I saw her eyes widen even as I heard the tell tale sound of the boom beginning to swing. She dropped down onto her rump with a thud and a small squeak of surprise.

I laughed, and she crossed her arms and glared at me as she adjusted her legs to a more comfortable position. “Hmph.”

“At least you've got good reflexes,” I chuckled, not sorry in the slightest. “Or we'd be fishing you out of the water now.”

“The sails never moved like that on the last ship,” she muttered, still a bit indignant.

“The last ship we were on was a lot bigger, as Lyse already said,” I shrugged. “And I did warn you.”

Her next words were muttered low enough that I couldn't hear her, but I let her be. For now, there was nothing much to do but let Soroban do his job.


	10. Splash Down

The journey was very pleasant, and before long Alisaie was back on her feet, standing on the prow of the ship with her face turned toward the wind. I watched her, smiling at the very pretty picture she made against the background of sea and sky. Gosetsu, old veteran that he was, dozed, snoring just loud enough to be heard, and Lyse seemed mostly asleep as well, leaning back on her hands, her face tipped towards the sun.

Four hours passed – maybe five – before Soroban slowed, and eased the sloop in at a stone quay. Gosetsu woke, and nodded once. “The Ruby Price,” he rumbled, pointing at the low stone structure to which the quay was attached. There was no sign of shelter, but a great many cannons, and a lot of samurai in dark colors with a very business-like manner.

I leaped over the side with the line in my hand and made fast the ship – Soroban chuckled in appreciation as he grabbed the other line and coiled it round the second bollard. “My thanks.”

“Least I can do,” I grinned. Alisaie and Lyse both looked at me with a kind of mild wonder.

“I never knew you knew...all this,” Lyse commented as we walked up the quay behind Gosetsu and Alisaie. The big samurai waved to one of the officers, who immediately greeted him with grave courtesy.

I shrugged at her. “I grew up in Limsa or at least, grew up around boats and fishing and pirates. At least I'm pretty sure I did.”

Her brow furrowed and I added, “It's a long story, and right now it doesn't much matter. I think we're done with boats for a bit.”

“Fair enough.”

We reached the top of the – I supposed it was an outpost – and I took a good look around. There was not a lot to see, however. A lot of little islands – they looked more like spurs of rocks jutting up from the water than what I was used to calling “island” – and farther away a smudge of color, indicating the coast. To the west and a bit north, a volcano smoldered.

But what drew my eye the most was the incredible spire to the northeast that looked as if it might actually pierce the sky. Lyse tipped her head back just the same as I did and frankly gaped for a moment. Our attention was brought back to earth by Alisaie's chuckle. She had her hand over her mouth, but it did nothing to hide her amusement at us.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

She stepped a bit closer Gosetsu and the officer, her hand on her hip, surveying the cannons. “Woe betide any enemy foolish enough to attack by sea,” she observed.

Gosetsu, having finished whatever he was saying to the officer, turned towards us. “The Hingans built this island as a bulwark against invasion, and filled it with enough cannons to sink an armada.”  
Alisaie smiled. “Now, if the Garleans were to bring their airships, on the other hand...”

Gosetsu scoffed at her, and she laughed. Then she got back to business.

“What's next?”

Soroban came up, and answered her. “In order to reach the shores of Othard, you will need to cross the resplendent waters you see before you. However, this is easier said than done. To set forth without making the necessary preparations is to invite the Confederacy to claim your vessel─and your life should you resist.”

I nodded. “We heard about this back in the city, at least a little.”

The Kojin spread his hands. “This fate can be avoided by paying the Ruby Tithe, thereby earning you the blessing of the pirate lords. So─let us go and greet them. Our destination is the isle to the west.” He pointed, and I saw the colorful standards flying atop what had looked at first like nothing more than another spur of rock and sand.

Lyse shaded her eyes a little, and then grinned hugely.

“That doesn't look very far to me. Berylla, why don't we jump in and swim for it? I've had my fill of boats.”

Soroban laughed. “Hmm, an excellent idea! I think you shall find the water to your liking.”

I found myself grinning too. It had been a damn long time since I had gone swimming. After all, most of the water in Coerthas was frozen. I nodded, suddenly eager.

Alisaie eyed the both of us. “Not that I've anything against the occasional dip in the ocean, but to dive in on a whim is a bit...”

She shrugged then, and turned towards Gosetsu, who was also grinning.

“Ho, what spirit you two have to delight in this simple joy so readily!” His voice, which had always seemed too big for any room to hold, rang out on the sea air. He looked out across the water, and then shook his head, still smiling. “I am too old for such pleasures, alas.”

Soroban gestured. “I will use my ship to deliver those less inclined to the isle.”

Lyse did the prudent thing and used the stairs that led into the water.

I ran off the edge of the Price, in a flat dive that sent me a good twenty yards out into the water without also sending me very far beneath the surface. I heard Gosetsu laughing.

I twisted around and tread water for a minute, just enjoying myself. The water was not as warm as the Rhotano could be, but it was far from cold. At this time of day the waves were calmer, little more than ripples once the water got more than six feet deep. There was a sharp smell to the water, a little like the springs at Bronze Lake.

Lyse waited patiently for me until I swam closer to her. My dive had taken me in not quite the right direction for the island we were actually heading for, anyway. We grinned at each other, and then I turned and waved back at the others. Gosetsu and Soroban both lifted their arms and then headed back toward the boat. Alisaie watched us for a moment longer, her hands on her hips. I found myself wishing she'd join us.

I cocked my head at Lyse. “Shall we?”

She laughed, and I realized how much I had missed her laughter. “Twenty gil says I beat you there!”

She struck out towards the island with a strong kick of her legs, and I found myself laughing even as I gave chase.

Lyse was a very strong woman, and clearly no stranger to the water. But somewhere in that foggy time before I had “awakened” as a Warrior of Light, I had learned some tricks that my body still remembered.

She was splashing heartily away when I surged past her. I heard her curse and then spit out some water. “Oh no you don't!”

I let her catch up to me, and made sure we were just about even for most of the swim. Lyse was enjoying herself as much as I was, but I was making her work to keep up with me. Fortunately the beach we had aimed ourselves for really wasn't much more than two hundred yards from the Ruby Price, or she might have gotten tired.

We reached the shallows just as Soroban was tying up at the wooden pier that jutted out from the beach. Lyse stood still a moment, the sea lapping at her ankles, and bent over, hands on her knees, catching her breath. I wrung my hair out and grinned at her when she panted, “Let's call it a draw.”

Alisaie watched us squelch up along the beach, and just shook her head. Soroban waved his arm to us. “I trust you enjoyed yourselves. Follow me, my friends. The one with whom we must speak is a man named Tansui.”

The breeze here was quite strong and my shirt was dry before we managed to make our way to the incline leading up onto the top of the island. Lyse plucked at her own clothes, but didn't complain.

Once we reached the top, the wooden structure was very obvious and actually rather impressive looking. A good hurricane would turn it all into match-sticks...but perhaps the storms weren't as vicious here as they were on the coasts of La Noscea.

Those colorful banner snapped in the breeze, and Soroban led us straight to a set of stairs. Once we reached the top, I could more clearly see that the banners were mostly attached to buildings. Some folks might have called them “huts,” but I could already see that sleeping under the stars here was no hardship. In fact, it might even be more comfortable than having a roof and walls to block the sea breeze.

But there was no more time for looking at the place – Soroban had stopped and was pointing towards a fellow in a purple garment. “This one is Tansui. Come, introduce yourselves.”

Even though we had been in the Far East for barely two days, already I could recognize that what he wore was not what the good people of Kugane would call “proper.” It wasn't a robe like Gosetsu's or Hancock's, but it was similar enough to make me want to squint. More like a jacket, but with nothing beneath, showing off a very tanned and somewhat scarred chest. He was wiry, and not much taller than Lyse; his dark hair was cut very short and he sported a thin mustache.

Soroban and Gosetsu stepped forward, and I followed, so that the three of us were side by side.

The pirate's eyes were hooded and wary. He crossed his arms. “I fear you have the advantage of me.”

The big samurai bowed, and I followed suit, a bit awkwardly. I let Gosetsu handle the formal phrasing.

Fortunately, it was clear that pirates even on this side of the world did not dwell too much on formalities. “Most honorable and esteemed Berylla Seahawk. I am Tansui, a humble mate who serves at the pleasure of the Confederacy's captain.” He did not bow, and I got the notion from how Gosetsu grimaced that his words were couched in a rather mocking way even if his tone was perfectly civil. My Echo granted me the ability to understand people's languages – not read their minds. But, seeing that the samurai and I both failed to rise to his bait, the pirate cocked an eyebrow at Soroban. “As you are in the company of the shellback, I presume we have business to discuss.”

Soroban was loosening a pouch from his wide belt. Tansui watched for a moment, then spoke.

“You wish to pay the Ruby Tithe, yes? With your...gil, perhaps? It is just as well. Foreign currencies are in demand these days.”

“I would pay for their passage to Othard.” I heard Alisaie's intake of breath, but fortunately she was in essence hidden behind Gosetsu. We hadn't asked the Kojin for generosity – more favors might be owed soon. _Well, that's all right. I don't mind paying back a favor_. “Does this sum meet with your satisfaction?” The pouch was handed over, and Tansui weighed it in his hand thoughtfully.

“...The sea has been quite tempestuous of late. I cannot say with confidence that you would reach your destination safely─unless you tripled it.”

 _Yep, they're pirates all right_.

Soroban choked. “D-Do you take me for a fool? I know the price, as do all!”

Tansui smirked. “Alas, we live in interesting times. As you came from Kugane, I should think I need not tell you that.” He handed the pouch back. “The shadow of war looms. The wise and the cautious shirk our waters and our custom, and the foolhardy sharpen their knives in anticipation.”

One of the other pirates – less colorfully dressed than Tansui – came pounding up to us all. “Sir! Sir! You've got to come quickly. The bastards're at it again! I tried to convince them to stop, but they weren't having it.”

I raised my eyebrows. _Trouble – and it sounds like just our sort of trouble. Maybe_...

Tansui scowled, then sighed. “Very well. I will be there shortly.”

I met his eyes, and shifted my shoulders in a way that I knew would bring attention to the axe gleaming over my shoulder. I didn't need to speak; like fighters everywhere there were just some things that didn't require a word to be said. The pirate's mouth turned up at one corner.

“...Hm. A proposition. Your comrades strike me as a worthwhile investment. I would not hear men name me a cat before koban, so I shall consider their tithe paid─not for what they have done, but for what I expect they will do.”

He turned and left, jogging beside the messenger. I watched them go.

Alisaie hummed softly. “I'm not sure what to make of that man, but at least the matter of our tithe is settled. For now.”

I turned to face her, as Lyse spoke up. “What as that he and the other pirate were talking about? Maybe we ought to go and have a look.”

Alisaie nodded to Lyse firmly, and the two of them led out with Gosetsu on their heels. Soroban made a small sound in his chest, but I wasn't sure if he was grumbling or just had indigestion. I still couldn't figure out his expressions. But, he followed a few paces behind the others, and I brought up the rear.

We walked back down the stairs, and saw Tansui striding off to the northeast, through estuary shallows that were fairly dry now, at low tide. With a nod to everyone else, I broke into an easy jog. We didn't particularly need to catch up to the pirate, after all. If there was trouble where he was going, we'd be close enough to do him some good – and if not, then we'd be far enough back to duck out of sight and not interfere after all.

Long before we needed to worry about being seen, I caught sight of a black uniform, and the sun glinted off an insignia I recognized too well. _Oh, hells no. We're not getting tangled up in this. Not yet, anyway._

I stopped in my tracks and turned to the others. “Imperials,” I hissed. “Let's not let them know we're here.”

“But we need to know what's happening,” Lyse protested.

“I didn't say we wouldn't listen in. Just find a big enough rock, eh?”

Her mouth formed a small O of understanding, and Alisaie nodded at the same moment. It didn't take but a minute to find a rock that was big enough to shelter even Gosetsu's big frame. We knelt – or in Gosetsu's case, bent down a bit – and watched as Tansui came to a stop in knee deep water, his underling beside him.

The Imperials – no, just one Garlean, but it was a fecking Pilus – stood in a boat very similar in design to Soroban's sloop, but devoid of ornamentation and color. To either side of the officer stood two Kojin – big, burly fellows, looking about as unfriendly as any thugs I had ever seen. They were also fair bristling with weapons.

 _Hm. Three of them, one that surely couldn't be taken out lightly, against two pirates. Tansui isn't exactly speaking from a position of strength_.

I could see the tension across the pirate's back and shoulders even from twenty feet away, but his voice was as calm and smooth as it had been when speaking to us.

“Gentlemen! I am told you were most unreceptive to my associate's requests. I realize you do not look kindly on the Confederacy and her ways.” His voice slid into a tone of threat, quite the equal of anything I had ever heard among the nobles of Ishgard. “But if you refuse to pay the Ruby Tithe, your safety in these waters cannot be assured.”

The Imperial commander crossed his arms. The voice that issued through the mask was as arrogant and smug as I would have expected as he retorted, “Spare me your concern, pirate. Your feeble attempts at extortion will not work on us.”

Tansui didn't respond – but I could see the shift in his body, something in his stance that told me he would very much like to leap forward onto that boat and strangle the officer. But the sticky silence dragged out, until the Imperial scoffed.

“You remain at large because we allow it – because you are such insignificant little pests that we see no need to swat you.” I could hear the smirk in his next words and it made my own fists clench with anger. “But if you wish to risk the ire of the viceroy, by all means, fire upon an Imperial vessel. Give us a reason to bring the full might of the Garlean Empire to bear against your pathetic fleet.”

“Bastards!” The second pirate whipped his bow off his back and nocked.

The burly Kojin to the officer's right set a hand on his weapon. Even with his unfamiliar features, I could see the fellow was eager to launch himself at the two pirates.

Tansui obviously saw it too, and he was as good at math as I was. His left arm stretched out, and waved his underling down. His head did not turn away from the Imperial, his posture much the same as a man facing down a snake.

“Gentlemen.” His tone was saccharine. “Surely the fact that you have such limitless resources at your disposal gives you all the more reason to spare some few coins for the less fortunate?”

 _Oh, I like this guy. I doubt that tactic will work, but calling them a bunch of penny pinching nannies is a nice touch_.

Sure enough, the Imperial didn't even respond. “All talk, just as I thought.” He turned his head. “Come, let us away. I have no time for this rubbish.”

The sloop moved off and out of sight, as the first mate of the Confederacy stood straight, silent, and impotent.


	11. Honest as Thieves

As soon as the Imperials were out of sight, Tansui turned on his heel and headed back towards the rocky shore line. I stood up, and he angled his strides to meet up with us. He looked very much like he could spit nails. Beside him, the younger pirate was continuously – and rather creatively – cursing under his breath.

We ended up in a rough circle. Lyse was the first to speak, though her head was turned in the direction that the Imperials had taken. “We're all the same to them, aren't we?” Her tone was bitter. “Savages to be ruled or slaughtered.”

Tansui spread his hands. “They've always balked at paying the Ruby Tithe,” he told us. Then he shook his head. “But they were never so eager to pick a fight.” He looked like he had a headache coming on, as well he might. “The problem, you see, is that many of my comrades in the Confederacy are of Doman descent – and the acting viceroy...well, she's none too fond of Domans, to say the least.” He paused for a moment, just looking at us; then his eyes met mine. He crossed his arms, and seemed to make a decision. “If we take any action to hinder the safe passage of an Imperial vessel, she'll accuse us of attempting to foment rebellion and brand us enemies of the Empire – which we can ill afford to be. Like the man said, we're all talk.”

The honesty, and the ache of bruised pride beneath it, surprised me – and maybe as Tansui intended, touched me. These were people not all that different from any Lominsan.

I more than understood the reason the Confederacy had been allowed to form in the first place. They did the job of policing waters that touched on many territories. Their presence gave everyone an enemy of sorts to bitch about – while at the same time, sparing everyone the effort of negotiating endlessly for rights of passage, and the expense of patrolling these waters themselves. Their “price” was framed as extortion – but it was obviously a long standing and (until recently) very satisfactory, mutually beneficial arrangement. Quite similar to the way the Admiral handled her fractious, stubborn, independent people.

 _Trust the fucking Imperials to screw up something like this_. If they'd left well enough alone, the Doman coastline would have been protected even from sneakier sorts. Hells! They could even have forged a new arrangement, sparing themselves some portion of the Price while making everyone else pay more. Obviously, no one among the leadership of the Empire had ever dealt with pirates.

Or more likely, they didn't _care_. Lyse was right. They saw everyone not Garlean as sub-human at best.

And yet the Confederacy had not gone belly-up, had not shown their throats nor slunk away. They still argued, still tried, even if the fight was clearly wearing them down. I looked at Tansui again and noticed, now, the shadows under his eyes and the sharpness of his cheekbones. Wearing them out.

 _Right. Tansui isn't about to say as much, but they need our help as much anybody else dealing with Imperials_.

But it was Alisaie who caught something I had missed.

“And where do the Kojin stand in all this?”

I blinked, and only then realized that Soroban was gone. He'd been right behind us on the way here. When had he left? And why?

“With the winning side, of course.” Tansui shrugged. “They are mercenaries to a fault, eager to offer their services without coercion. The shell-back could tell you more...though something tells me he would rather not.”

At that point the others noticed Soroban's absence too. But even as Gosetsu and Alisaie glanced around and frowned, Lyse took a couple steps closer to Tansui.

“I don't understand. If the Garleans are causing the Confederacy this much trouble – and if so many of you are Doman to begin with – why aren't you willing to fight back?”

I had heard that tone before, back in Ala Gannha. I had heard it when she railed against the Skulls. I understood: she was a fighter, always had been, always would be, and she was far too stubborn to ever give up once she had made up her mind on a course of action. But she just didn't get it. It wasn't so simple for everyone. She didn't understand the people who were timid, who were afraid. And she didn't understand folks like Tansui either – he was more than willing to fight back. But he had to consider more than just himself. He had people to take care of. I saw it in the way his shoulders bent a bit at what Lyse said.

I knew that weight, much too well. I couldn't be angry with Lyse. She had never _needed_ to protect any of us Scions. She had never been in a position of that kind of responsibility over civilians.

 _But she's going to have to learn_.

Tansui laughed in her face.

“Spoken like a true friend of the Doman Liberation Front.” His teeth showed. “If you're planning to rouse us with noble words and grand promises – don't bother. We all know what the Imperial army can do. Compared to them, we're boys with boats.” He seemed to shake himself a little, and his tone took on a more business-like air. “Besides. What ties a man may once have held to his home are forsaken upon joining the Confederacy. We look out for none but our own.”

I nodded in understanding. Lyse took a half step forward, and Alisaie set a hand on her arm. When she looked back at the Elezen, Alisaie shook her head; and reluctantly Lyse stood down.

Tansui rolled his shoulders a little, a tired motion, and sighed. “Be that as it may, our livelihood is under threat, and the captain will need to decide soon whether we are to go down in a blaze of glory or bow and scrape for crumbs from the Emperor's table.” Neither prospect pleased him, it was clear.

He bent his head a moment, then looked up. “All this while our friend the viceroy continues her purge of Doma's “radical elements.” I believe she's holding court in one of the fishing villages even as we speak.”

I heard Gosetsu's intake of breath before he snarled, and so was slightly less startled by the level of rage in his voice. “That she-devil! Her perfidy knows no bounds! She must be stopped! Come, let us find Soroban and put to sea at once!”

Lyse and Alisaie both regarded him with widened eyes. Once more I felt certain that Gosetsu knew more about the viceroy than he had told us, and once more a shiver of anxiety went through me.

Especially when Tansui gave the big samurai a very small, satisfied smile.

He turned to his underling. “Tell the others that these ones have paid. We all have places to be.”

We headed back towards the settlement. Gosetsu kept looking around, certain that Soroban had not gone far, but I wasn't so sure. I didn't think he had abandoned us – but he had clearly not felt safe out there, and where else would a man of the sea – even if he was a turtle – feel more safe than his own boat?

I was, then, pleasantly surprised to see Soroban wave to us from under a tree near the stairs that accessed the pirate camp. He watched us approach. He seemed nervous, by the way his thick fingers tapped against his belt.

“Oh, my friends! A thousand pardons!” He looked at us, and made a kind of clicking sound in his throat. “...As you may have guessed, I was reluctant to be seen in your company by my Red brothers. Ours is a...complex relationship.” His tone was wary. “I pray you do not misinterpret their actions as a reflection of our allegiances as a whole.”

“Why would we do that?” I asked, before Alisaie had done more than open her mouth. “Makes about as much sense as assuming pirates and Imperials operate the same. People are people.” I slanted my gaze at my friend. “And even brothers can be – difficult. Can't they?”

She pursed her lips, and nodded once. I saw by the glint in her eye that she was going to have words for me later.

“You...you understand? Kami be praised! Too often are shell-less quick to judge all Kojin for the deeds of one.” I smiled slightly at the honest relief in his voice.

“You'll be pleased to hear that the Confederacy does still consider us paid up,” I told him.

He beamed. “Right, then. Now that our business with Tansui is concluded, we can traverse the Ruby Sea without fear!” He clapped his hands together. “I shall return to the ship and prepare for our departure.” He inclined his body towards me, a not-quite-bow. “Berylla, would you be so kind as to inform the Confederates of our plans? The more they know of our movements, the less like we are to be mistaken for another vessel by their comrades.”

Gosetsu frowned. “Regardless of Tansui's assurances, I would take no chances and inform the pirates of our plans, lest the more unscrupulous among them decide to board us regardless. Stranger things have been known to happen.”

“It profits the Confederacy not at all to turn us in,” I answered. “I may not know a lot of things, but I know pirates. Trust me if you don't trust Tansui.”

He grumbled, and then shook his head. “Well, we must not tarry long.” He followed Soroban as the Kojin headed for the pier. Lyse trailed along after him, with a quick glance at me and Alisaie.

I waited a moment. I knew the Elezen girl was waiting for the others to be out of earshot. The only question was what kind of an earful she was going to give me.

“And here I thought you said you were bad with words,” Alisaie drawled. “It seems we didn't need to worry about not bringing Alphinaud after all.”

I snorted. “Like I said, I know pirates. That's all. Fancy words don't get you far with these folks. They're practical people – living on the sea, _with_ the sea, takes everything you have at the best of times. You make what friends you can, and you don't waste time on manners when honesty will do fine.”

“Honesty? They're as honest as any thieves.” She crossed her arms. “They may not be attacking merchant vessels, but...”

“But, nothing.” I set my fists on my belt. “You're not stupid, Alisaie. Think it through. Think it through from the viewpoint of the leaders of these places. How many men and ships do you think it takes to cover all that?” I waved my arm towards the sea. “Do you really think that one tiny island is watching over the whole area?”

Her cheeks colored. “Of course not.”

“If it were you, would you rather pay for a bunch of war ships to protect your merchants – or pay a hell of a lot less for a bunch of pirates to do it for you?”

She opened her mouth, then paused, and looked down. Her shoulders were tight. “I don't trust them,” she muttered. “They're criminals, Berylla.”

The words sparked something in me that had been brewing ever since we had left Limsa. She'd half sneered at the crew of the Misery the entire trip. She had kept herself apart far more than the rest of us. She had been civil to their faces, but I had seen the way she looked at them from time to time. Carvallain had been amused by her, but the condescending twist to her lips when she thought the pirates weren't looking had made me a bit unhappy. Then, while we had passed through Kugane following Hancock, she had sneered quietly at nearly everything about the place. I had tried to chalk it up to her being tired and eighteen and generally annoyed with the world in that moment, but underneath the petty carping had been something else – a feeling that what she knew as “normal” was inherently “better” than this strange new place.

Understandable. But it wasn't okay.

Now, hearing her name all the Confederacy folks criminals, when she had so far met exactly two of them – who had just done us a huge favor – I just couldn't stop myself.

“Alisaie, honey, your definition of criminal needs some loosening up.”

Her eyes snapped up to mine. I didn't waver.

“I've killed men and women without a thought,” I told her, my tone stern. “And before you say that's my job – it's still murder. I don't enjoy it, but I accept it, because if I didn't then everyone I love would be dead and probably so would I. We don't live in a world of black and white, there are _no_ simple answers, and _nobody_ is just plain evil. You might not agree with their choices and that's fine. But you have no right to _judge_ them for those choices.”

I turned and left her standing there, her mouth slightly open in shock.

Maybe I'd been a little harsh. But I couldn't help it. Alisaie was too damn smart – and had seen too much – to cherish such illusions.

I had spoken with the pirates, and even spent a bit of coin with them – not that I truly needed a new frying pan, but the way the young pirate's eyes lit up, even such a relatively minor bit of extra money made a difference. No way would these men accept anyone's charity – but hells. It was a good frying pan, and it harmed absolutely no one for me to make friends.

Alisaie was standing on the pier with the others, and I was glad to see that she was not sulking. If Alphinaud had a besetting sin, honestly, it was a tendency to assume he was always right – a trait his sister shared. But if I had called him out the way I had Alisaie, he would've spent at least a few minutes nursing the sting to his ego...

And maybe she was too, and she was just better about hiding the fact.

 _Bah, why am I worried about this? Not the time, Berylla, get your shit together_.

Soroban waved to me, and the rest turned to watch me approach. “If all is ready,” he said, “I will take you to the fishing village of Isari.”

“Wait – Tansui said that the viceroy was “holding court” in one of the fishing villages, did he not?” Gosetsu nodded at once, and Alisaie continued. “Should Isari chance to be the village in question, we could instantly find ourselves surrounded by Imperial soldiers. I think it safer to come ashore some distance away.”

Soroban nodded. “I know just the place.”

“Let us not waste any more time!” Gosetsu boomed.

Soroban dropped a small anchor in the shallows and made sure we all made it to the sand. “Here we are,” he said at last. “I am reasonably certain none bore witness to our approach.”

I eyed the big rocks clustered to the east of us and nodded.

Soroban made a small gesture – a blessing perhaps – and bowed his head. “And with this, I believe I have fulfilled the terms of our agreement?”

 _I must be getting better at reading him. He looks like he almost hopes we'll say we need him for something else_.

Gosetsu beamed. “Aye, that you have. You have my deepest thanks, Soroban. Truly we are blessed to have befriended such a clever and industrious merchant!”

Soroban put both his hands up, palms out, and I could have sworn he blushed. “You are much too kind, good sir!” Again that gesture. “I know not where your path may lead, but I wish you the very best, and hope that we shall meet again.” And with that, he turned, leaped back into his sloop, pulled up the anchor, and was gone.

Lyse turned to look at me. “Well. We've finally arrived in Othard. All we need to do now is...uh...liberate Doma.”

I was reminded just how damnably vague our plan still was.

 _Oh who am I kidding, we don't have a fucking plan, we have a wisp of hope and a desperate need of luck that even the gods wouldn't believe_.

Alisaie, however, just smiled. “Daunting though it is, we do have one thing in our favor: the element of surprise. Unlike in Gyr Abania, the Imperials don't know we're here.” She saw me looking at her, and her cheeks colored just a little. “Admittedly, that may be our only advantage, considering how few of us there are...”

For a moment, I deeply understood why Papalymo had always seemed to have a headache.

Lyse seemed to take heart, though. “I expect the Doman Liberation Front will even up the odds a bit.” She nodded in the direction of the village we had been able to see from Soroban's boat. “Before all that, we need to see if this is the fishing village Tansui was talking about.”

As we'd been talking, Gosetsu had been peering around the rocks, cautiously. He turned back to us. “It may well be.” His voice was quieter, and yet more intense than I had heard before. “I smell ceruleum on the breeze.”

I nodded, though both Lyse and Alisaie looked just a little nervous, and we all walked onto the sand to get a closer look.

Isari was crawling with Imperial soldiers.

They all wore the Eastern version of Garlean uniforms, but unlike the common foot soldiers back in Eorzea, every one of them also wore masks. It was obvious that the impassive, not-quite-human faces the soldiers showed to the villagers just upped the intimidation.

_Didn't Alphinaud say that most of the troops here are Doman natives, conscripts? How many of them look just like the people they are terrorizing? What kind of monsters have they become, or do the masks hide their regrets?_

I found it hard to believe any of the soldiers regretted their actions. I had seen bandits treat their victims with more dignity and manners. To say they were harsh towards the villagers as they rounded them up would be putting it much too kindly.

I winced as I watched an old man stumble, only to be kicked by the soldier behind him. As he cried out and staggered to his feet, raucous laughter reached our ears.

Behind me and to my left, Alisaie muttered. “Even accounting for the rebellion, such indiscriminate shows of force seem pointlessly excessive...”

Gosetsu answered her, his face grim. “If only you knew how commonplace such scenes have become,” he rumbled. He squinted towards the little crowd of people. “Are we too late...?”

Lyse made a small sound. “Over there – someone's coming.”

I heard Gosetsu's intake of breath, but I didn't need that hint to tell me that the woman who had just walked into view was the viceroy, of whom he had spoken with such rage.

I hadn't even been in this place two days, and I knew that her clothing was not what most Domans would consider...modest. Sumptuous, gorgeous even – but not _modest_.

She moved with fluid grace as she paced down the rough wooden steps and onto the sand, approaching the captive villagers. Her gown was black, edged with scarlet; a wide belt of stiffened silk brocade accentuated her waist, a lustrous gold color against the black. The sleeves of the gown fell open at her elbows, and her shoulders were bared. Any time she lifted her hands, scarlet silk belled out around her arm, like wings. The bottom of the robe flared outward in a shape that echoed the sleeves, and more scarlet silk came and went with every step she took, exposing her legs almost to mid thigh. Her limbs were graceful, her movements languid, practiced. Her hair was glossy and black, like a raven's wing, and a purple lotus flower was pinned to one side of her head. Her skin was ivory, her mouth painted crimson.

Had I seen her in a painting, I would have thought her very beautiful. Seeing her from a hundred yards away, all I could think was that she was dangerous. Something in the way she held herself reminded me most of a stalking coeurl.

And behind her, a hulking brute in green armor...I muttered a low curse of my own. Grynewaht.

Gosetsu was snarling. “It is she! Sworn enemy of Doma – of my master! The traitor who sold her homeland to the Garleans. Yotsuyu!”

Lyse blinked. “The viceroy herself...” Then she bit her lip. “And look who's behind her.”

“Yep.” I frowned. “I'm liking these odds less and less. There must be thirty soldiers out there. And Grynewaht may be thick, but that hammer of his is no joke.”

The woman began to speak. I couldn't make out her words, could barely hear her at all. The tone was sugary-sweet, and her smile seemed charming. I didn't trust that, not one bit. When one of the younger villagers stepped forward, clearly trying to appease the viceroy, her smile widened. She handed the young man something – a glint of metal in the sun – I realized as he turned that she had given him a pistol.

Another young man was brought up, between two soldiers, and shoved to his knees. Words were spoken – I couldn't hear a thing. But I didn't need to hear to understand.

The first young man was horrified, the second one no less so – and then the first young man lifted the pistol in shaking hands, his face twisted into a grimace of grief and fear.

A single shot rang out.

The prisoner fell onto his face.

I felt as if my blood had turned to ice.

_She just ordered that boy to kill his own neighbor. For nothing more than a test of loyalty?_

She spoke again, and the old man who'd been kicked before started and cried out. The young man also jumped, and I heard him protest. “They're my parents! I can't kill them!”

Again the pistol lifted – the young fool was pointing it at the viceroy – I winced even before the soldiers flanking her lifted their own weapons.

_Crack! Crack!_

He dropped, and I could see blood spattering the sand even from where we lurked.

_She knew he would refuse, she knew she could push him into firing on her, she's just playing with all of them. She means to murder every one of these people – why?_

But I was distracted as Gosetsu straightened.

I glanced at him, then glanced again. Other, lesser men would have ranted, cursed, their faces red as they shouted against the object of their fury. Gosetsu's face was like stone, and though his whole body trembled with rage, his voice was quiet. But his eyes blazed.

“Don't do it,” I murmured. “Don't rush in. Not now.”

“Stop and think for a moment!” Alisaie hissed at him. “If you go charging in now, every one of those villagers is as good as dead! We must consider the wider picture. If we act recklessly, we risk alerting the Garleans to our presence here, making it that much harder for us to work with the local rebels – to say nothing of the reprisals ordinary civilians would be made to suffer.”

“Open your eyes, girl!” Gosetsu snarled. “They are already suffering!”

I couldn't speak. He was right; so was Alisaie.

“Let me go,” Gosetsu demanded, his voice low and taut. When I remained silent, he turned his head to glare at me. “I am putting an end to this madness,” he told me, and I knew then that there would be no stopping him.

“I won't watch you get yourself killed,” I began, but he shook his head.

“I will approach the village alone and identify myself,” he said. “As a former leader of the rebellion and a known fugitive, they will wish to detain me until they are certain they have learned all I know. Use this time to make your plans!”

“You saw what those monsters did to the villagers!” Lyse protested. “Who knows what they'll do to you – assuming they don't kill you where you stand!”

Gosetsu faced forward again, and his shoulders squared up, his whole posture one of stubborn determination. “We live and die at the pleasure of the kami,” he told her. “My fate is in their hands and no other's.” I saw a small, fey smile cross his lips. “If it be any comfort, I am no stranger to chains.”

The silence then was sticky with worry and fear and anger. Then Alisaie spoke.

“Hold out for as long as you can, but remember: noble sacrifices are to remain an absolute last resort. I wish I could say it won't come to that, but only the gods know how we're going to get you and the others out in one piece.” Her voice dropped, and she muttered, “A miracle, perhaps...”

“Go to the great tower. Look to its occupants for aid and succor,” Gosetsu said, “and together, you may find your miracle.”

He gave us no further chance to argue. He ran forward, until the soldiers noticed him, and then slowed to a walk.

I edged back, and turned away even as he was shouting his name to the Imperials.

“Let's get the hell out of here. The sooner we get to that tower, the sooner we can end this.”


	12. On the Rocks

First, we swam.  
It wasn't anywhere near as pleasant, this time. Not with the bitter knowledge that we had abandoned Gosetsu to whatever fate the Imperials – the viceroy – wished to inflict on him. It didn't matter that he had all but ordered us to do so, it still left me troubled.  
We made our way to the large island that held the odd tower. Walking onto the beach, we all leaned against the rocks for a few moments. Lyse had a look on her face that I was willing to bet matched my own – one part sour, one part angry, three parts depressed. Nothing at all is going the way Alphinaud hoped it would. Maybe Aymeric was right. Maybe we should never have come here.  
Alisaie looked from Lyse to me, and crossed her arms. “I hate it as much as you. Maybe even more. Every fiber of my being was crying out to intervene, but...”  
She cast her gaze back towards Isari. “But what's done is done. Gosetsu's gamble has gifted us the time we need to find a solution. This is not like Rhalgr's Reach.” She straightened and dropped her arms, slapping her thighs in a “let's get moving” kind of gesture. “He bade us seek aid at the distant tower, yes? For want of a better idea, I say we do just that.”  
Lyse sighed, and tugged her hair loose from its tail for a moment to further wring the seawater out of it. “She's right. This is not like the Reach. This is worse. They were defenseless...”  
I nodded, and tried to wring out my own hair, without much luck.  
Alisaie stepped over to me, and set her hand on my shoulder. A tiny line appeared between her brows as she concentrated. A shivery sensation went across my skin, almost like ants were walking on me – and then I blinked. My hair and my clothes were merely damp now, instead of soaked. “Nice trick,” I murmured. “Thanks.”  
She gave me a little grin, before turning around and going over to Lyse to perform the same bit of magic. Lyse smiled in relief. “You have no idea how much that helps, Alisaie. Thank you.”  
Alisaie shrugged, but I saw the slight blush in her cheeks. “I don't fancy taking this braid down more often than I have to,” she said. “And back when I was still guarding caravans, we mostly didn't get to stay out of the rain. So, I devised a little something to make myself more comfortable.”  
Lyse nodded, and bound her hair up again. Then she turned, and gazed up at the tower.  
It looked even more outlandish close up – like nothing so much as stone boxes stacked one on top of the other in a dizzying spiral that seemed just plain impossible.  
“What is that tower, anyway?” asked Lyse. “I've never seen anything like it.”  
Alisaie cocked her head, her eyes narrowing as she answered. “According to my map, we are on Onokoro, and the tower is known as Heaven–on–High. A mysterious structure built long ago by persons unknown...” She trailed off and looked back at us, and shook her head.  
“Oh gods, listen to me.” She rolled her eyes. “I'm starting to sound like Alphinaud. Next thing you know, I'll be saying things like, As you are doubtless already aware...”  
Lyse giggled, but I only smiled slightly. I think it's great when he pulls that stunt, and usually I'm not already aware so it ends up being interesting. But I guess it might get old if I had to hear it for years and years.  
We began to walk in the general direction of the tower. There was no clear path – the beach was strewn with rocks large and small, and we simply picked our way around the biggest boulders, keeping the water in sight.  
“Hm?” Alisaie's head turned as we rounded another big boulder. “Over there! Do you see it?”  
“It” turned out to be a carcass. We approached it carefully, but there was no one and nothing else nearby. I eyed the thing. It was huge, and fat, and looked like some kind of weird cross between a mangy bear and a fish, with fin-like appendages – but with splotchy leathery skin, that had a few thick hairs here and there.  
Lyse walked around it once. “Hmm... Doesn't look like it's been dead long.” She pointed, and I saw the arrows – a neatly placed grouping of three, in the back of the head just underneath the skull.  
“Whoever did this, they're a good shot,” Lyse observed. “I can't see a single stray arrow.”  
I regarded the dead critter with a little concern. How tough was this thing, to need three arrows to the head to kill it?  
My back went stiff as I heard the noise – a gurgling growl with a hint of whine at the end. Lyse looked up from the carcass, eyebrows raised and beginning to laugh a bit.  
“Well, someone's hungry!” The growl came again, and her eyes went wide. “Wait...that wasn't either of you two, was it.”  
I turned slowly towards the water.  
A whole pack of the critter's relatives was lumbering out of the water. They clearly saw the dead one, and saw us, and –   
Oh, they're pissed.  
Alisaie put her hands out towards the things. “Calm down! We had nothing to do wi─ ” She stopped and shook her head rapidly. “Wait, what am I doing? They can't possibly understand us.”  
Lyse backed away a few steps. “Probably not, no...”  
I edged around the carcass as the lead animal pushed forward. All three of us retreated, moving slowly, our eyes never leaving the creatures. How fast can they move? They're so fat and clumsy...but...  
The animal in front nosed at the dead one, and for one moment her growls gave way to a piteous whimper. I realized, with a pang, that the dead one was smaller than the others. Ah, shit, that's its mother...  
Just as I thought that, the leader's eyes snapped up and focused on us. She made a strange barking sound, and the lot of them started to charge forward at us.  
They were fat, they were clumsy, but they were fast.  
“Time to run, Lyse! We save our strength for any that give chase! You too, Berylla!”  
Alisaie didn't waste any more time on words. She spun around and sprinted away, Lyse hard on her heels. I began to follow the two of them, but the leader – the big momma – veered directly towards me and I was forced to head off in a different direction. The last I saw of Lyse was her hair as it vanished among the rocks.  
I ran.  
I was no sprinter – I could hike for hours, sure, but running wasn't my thing. The beach was littered with stones of all sizes, and my speed was further hampered by needing to skip and hop over rocks in my path. I heard flopping and grunting and risked a glance behind me. Big Momma and two of the others were hot on my heels. “Shit,” I panted, “shit, shit shit – waaaaugh!”  
If anyone had been around to see it, they would have laughed themselves sick. The mighty Warrior of Light – tripping over a fucking rock. I went sprawling forward, desperately trying to catch myself on my hands so I wouldn't crack my skull open, a gargling shriek tumbling from my throat. I'm a damned idiot!  
Big Momma gave a snuffling howl of rage. On my hands and knees, I threw myself sideways, scrambling out of her way just in time to avoid being smashed flat beneath her massive belly. A whiff of rank, rotten-fish breath washed over my face and I gagged as I scrabbled to my feet.  
“Fucking hell,” I spat, getting my axe ready. The creature lumbered around, much faster than anything that big had a right to move, and fixed her sights on me again. Her two allies came at me from the side, clearly planning to pile on top of me. They roared, and I saw their teeth – pointed and yellow and clearly no strangers to tearing flesh. Great. I could die from infection alone if they nick me.  
The familiar rage of battle flowed through me. I could have stayed home in Ishgard, I could be eating myself stupid right now. But no, I had to decide Doma needed me.  
My eyes narrowed as I set my feet and called up my power. I'll be damned if I die like this, to some fat fish eating monster.  
“All right then, momma,” I snarled, “Let's dance.”

I came around the rocks, limping a little, axe still in my hands. But it was quiet, and there was no hint of the other monsters. I saw a white braid just past the next boulder, and made my way towards it as quick as I could.  
Alisaie looked up at me. She and Lyse were still catching their breath, but the two monsters that had come after them lay quite dead a few yards away. I heaved a sigh of relief, and then rested the head of my axe on the ground for a moment so I could lean on the haft and catch my own breath.  
“Whew...” Alisaie puffed. “That went better than expected.”  
I nodded, and winced as I hobbled over to the rock where Lyse leaned. I rested my rump against the stone and braced my right leg so that I could raise my left foot and rub at it. I hissed as my fingers found the bruise on my ankle.  
Alisaie came over, and laid her hands on my ankle. “I can't do the kind of healing Alphinaud can,” she muttered, “but...” Again the tiny frown, and a faint glow formed in her palms. The pain of a bruised bone vanished, and I grunted a little.  
“Thank you.”  
“Just imagine if they'd taken us by surprise. What a fine ending that would have been to our story...” Lyse managed a tired laugh. “Anyway, I think it's safe to assume that the people at the tower know how to defend themselves. You'd have to, sharing an island with these things. Now all we need to do is convince them to help us!”  
I nodded. “Assuming they don't fill us with arrows on sight, we should be able to manage.”  
All of us glanced up as the wind carried a sound to us – the sound of voices raised in some kind of discussion or work. We all looked at each other. “Let's get moving.”

Being the tallest, I saw the standards before Lyse or Alisaie did, and I recognized them instantly. My mouth quirked as we rounded the last of the boulders and the village came into view. Wooden structures not unlike those on Sakazuki – as well they might be, given these were also Confederacy pirates.  
Alisaie's eyes went straight to the standards flapping in the sea breeze and her mouth quirked. “So that's the way of it.”  
“Oh...there's a settlement here! And they've even got their own aetheryte.” Lyse looked around, eyes bright with curiosity that then dimmed slightly as the rest of the details became clear to her. “Wait a minute... I've seen that standard before. It was when we met with Tansui. Which means this place belongs to...” She trailed off, saw Alisaie smirking at her, and went a bit pink. “Oh.”  
Alisaie crossed her arms and looked again at the collection of buildings and shacks and piers. “It would seem we have found a Confederate settlement─perhaps even their headquarters, judging by the size of the place.”  
“Yeah, looks like it.” I shifted my weight, still favoring my left foot a little.  
“So Gosetsu bade us seek out the Confederacy for aid and succor. The selfsame Confederacy that refuses to openly oppose the Empire.” Alisaie chewed her lip, thoughtful, then sighed. “Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained, I suppose.” She started forward, and Lyse and I fell in just a step behind her. “At the very least,” she said dryly, “they're unlikely to ask us for the tithe.”

We explored the little settlement first – once the pirates understood who we were, they seemed quite comfortable with letting us poke around. Clearly there was good communication between the various elements of the Confederacy – land and fleet alike. I was willing to bet that Imperial communications were limited to the speed of their own vessels – or whatever other methods they had at their disposal – and that the Confederacy was doing all it could to hamper or at least slow down all Imperial activities. Potentially helpful, but I would rather have more direct aid.  
I had noted back at the first settlement that these folks weren't exactly prospering. The real state of things was far more obvious here. There were fish drying on lines and racks, some even being cold smoked, and I saw another carcass like the one we had stumbled across earlier, being methodically chopped apart by a tall fellow with an eyepatch. I strolled over to him.  
“What is that thing, anyway? Ran into a few on our way here. Nasty tempers.”  
“Oh aye,” he nodded. “Gyuki are right bastards if you get 'em riled. Sometimes if you don't get 'em riled. But the fat's useful, and the leather's damn tough.” He glanced up at me. “Name's Hirase. You?”  
“Call me Berylla.” I figured I was okay with just that, no bowing seemed necessary. I gestured at the pile of meat strips that he had stacked to one side. “They any good for eating?”  
He guffawed. “Depends on what you call good! But if you soak it in ginger and rum, like, and stew it long and slow, it ain't so bad.”  
“Rum, eh? And where do you get rum around here?” I laughed a little. “I shouldn't have believed that fellow when he said there was only rice wine to drink.”  
He had set aside his knife and was taking up the hide he'd just finished removing. He paused long enough to slap his knee once. “Oldest joke on the waters here,” he wheezed. “We get plenty o' trade with the fellows in Kugane and whatnot. Even get some La Noscean whiskeys out this way, once in a blue.”  
I raised my eyebrows. “Oh, a man of culture, are you?” Then I laughed right along with him. “D'you need a hand with that thing?”  
“Naw,” he waved me off. “Wouldn't want a pretty thing like you to smell like this.”  
I scoffed a little, but let the comment pass. “Then I'll let you get back to it. I've a mind to pester some other folks.”  
I wandered off in the direction of the nearby pier. A boat was tied up there, a smaller version of some of the ships I had seen back in Kugane. An odd design, it looked like it had two prows instead of one, but at the same time, it was a sleek little thing. It looked fast, and I didn't miss the places where cannons were likely lurking below decks. Three men were standing on her top deck, and they looked up at me as I approached. Their gazes were appreciative, and for once I didn't care that they stared at my chest – this was an instance in which they truly couldn't help it, I was that much taller than all three of them. Why are so many Domans so short?  
But when I started asking them about their vessel, they were more than happy to tell me all about her – clearly she was theirs in truth, not just one ship out of many. I spent nearly twenty minutes listening to the oldest man go on about the things they'd done with the little ship, and how nimble and quick she could be in a fight. “Not that we've had any of those recently, what with those imperial bastards throwing their weight around. If it wasn't for them...” But then he shrugged. “Well, no use moaning about what you can't change, eh?”  
“Indeed,” I agreed. I let him ramble a few minutes more and then made my excuses; on my way back to shore I paused at the stack of crates waiting to be loaded. I touched the top one, and it shifted easily. Too easily. I took a quick look and confirmed it: the crate was empty. I tapped the bottom ones with a foot; hollow and empty.  
They're keeping crates out like this to make it look like everything's fine. But they've no goods to transport, no loot to stash. If these were Limsa pirates, there would be growling and fist fights and calls for the captain's head. Meaning...these men aren't in this for the money. Or at least, the money isn't the biggest draw.  
Thoughtful, I turned my steps back towards the main area. I saw Alisaie already waiting, and as I came up, I could see the twist to her lips. So I wasn't at all surprised when she said, “They're just like the others we talked to before.”  
I looked down at her, for the first time since I had known her actually using my height to loom over her just a bit. Being Alisaie, she didn't even bat an eye, but I saw her mouth tighten just a bit. “Are they?” I asked. “Or are you just seeing what you expect to see?”  
The words hit home, I saw it in the pinched skin around her eyes. She looked away.  
I would have said something else – but Lyse came trotting up, all smiles. “Look who I've found!”  
I grinned at her enthusiasm, and nodded to Tansui. Alisaie murmured under her breath, “This should make things easier...”  
Tansui waved one hand at us, his eyes amused though his tone was sardonic as ever. “What wind brings you hither, of all places? Were you not bound for Othard's shores?”  
Lyse's smile died, and I told the pirate of Gosetsu's decision, and how he'd told us to come to Onokoro.  
“I see.” He was quiet for a moment, then sighed. “I trust you have not forgotten our previous conversation on the subject? No? Then what do you want, a second opinion? Very well.” He turned towards the steps that led up the cliff. “Come with me. I will take you to the captain─Rasho.”


	13. Stinking Messes

Alisaie's eyebrows went up even as we followed him. She spoke very quietly. “Just like that? An audience with their leader? How very accommodating. We must needs choose our words carefully.”

Lyse glanced back at her as we started up the steps. “You leave it to me! I've always been good with people. And this will also give me a chance to use the eastern greeting they showed me in Revenant's Toll!”

But when we had ascended all the way to the top, she swallowed. “Um...On second thought, maybe I shouldn't be the one to do this.”

To be fair, the man that Tansui was leading us toward was quite the formidable sight. He was a Roe, but even for our kind he was broad and muscular. His robes were a lot more colorful even than his first mate's, and he sat with all the dignity one might expect of a noble lord. I was put in mind of the way the Admiral presented herself before those she didn't know much about yet.

Alisaie hung back, falling behind me a pace. I heard her muttering to herself. “It's never this simple, not with pirates.”

I restrained my urge to turn around and frown at her, and let Lyse step forward as Tansui gestured.

“Well, there he is. Our illustrious leader. Speak. No need to be shy.”

It didn't take long. We walked back down the stairs, though only about half way, pausing at a landing and getting out of the main path.

Lyse rubbed her temples. She had been awkward, but heart-felt, and thankfully that honesty had served us well – or as well as honesty alone was going to do.

Alisaie sighed. “I wish I could say I'm surprised, but I'm not.”

“Neither am I.” I left it at that. Lyse looked up at me, her expression pleading.

“Hey, Berylla... I know that didn't go well, but I'm not prepared to give up on them yet.” She held her hands up, palms up. “Gosetsu told us to come here for a reason. He must have believed we could convince them to help us. We just have to work out how.”

Alisaie nodded once. “My thoughts exactly. I'm glad to hear we're of the same mind.”

“That makes three of us then. So we're planning to do what, exactly?” I had a pretty good idea it would be chores – it usually was – but I wasn't about to assume anything.

“It is little wonder they refused─we have done naught to persuade them. The real work begins now.” She looked from Lyse to me. “We need to learn more about the Confederacy─what their needs and weaknesses are. Once we know that, we will know how to earn their trust.”

“Then the first thing,” I said, an edge to my voice, “is opening our eyes. Isn't it.”

Lyse's eyes were wide at my tone, but Alisaie met my gaze without flinching. Her cheeks were pink but her voice was steady. “You are right. I have been looking at these people through a lens of my prior experiences. I see that such a lens is not very helpful, now.” Her chin lifted. “I shan't apologize. But I will endeavor to pay closer attention, and set aside what I knew before.”

“That's all I wanted anyway.” I nodded once.

“So if we're going to prove to them that we're valuable allies...” Lyse gazed out towards the sea. “They have plenty to eat, but it looks very...it's all the same stuff. Do they even trade with outsiders, I wonder?”

“It's obvious they are struggling to survive,” Alisaie observed, “and that they blame the Imperials for their recent troubles.”

“Then we help them out with the survival bit,” I said.

Alisaie's eyes gleamed a little. “By...seeking out people with mundane problems and offering them our expert assistance?”

I was glad to see her humor hadn't been squashed.

Lyse shrugged. “Wouldn't be the first time we've had to earn someone's trust by helping them out with this and that. And you know it won't be the last.”

“At least there won't be any dancing,” I said with a sly smile, and Lyse scrunched up her face and stuck her tongue out at me.

I spread my hands. “Let's go make some friends and do some chores.”

Lyse went off to talk up a storm – maybe reassuring herself that she was still good with people – and I left Alisaie standing still, staring at the colorful standard that hung just a few feet above the steps. She had that _look_ on her face, the same one I had seen from Alphinaud so many times – the look that told me she was thinking, thinking hard, and paying exacting attention to _everything_ she saw.

It made me happy, to see that look.

As for myself, I headed right back to Hirase, who by now had finished with the gyuki carcass and was – by the smell of it – boiling whatever was left.

“I'm going to assume the long face isn't because of the stench,” I said to him by way of greeting.

He looked up and snorted, then came towards me. “Wind'll change in a tick,” he said, “and all the stench can go out to sea.” He cast a glance back at the big fire he had built, and I noticed a second pot that I hadn't seen before.

“Stew?”

“I wish.” Hirase scowled. “The meat off that one wasn't usable.”

“Well that's a shame,” I began, but then paused. “Wait, we found one of those gyuki things – it was shot up with arrows.” I pondered. “I don't know if I can actually haul the whole thing back here...”

“You wouldn't need to.” Hirase looked hopeful. “That's one of the ones we killed. The one I just got done with got took down by bloody damn Imperials and their bloody damn ceruleum. It taints the meat, y'see.”

“Oh.” I cocked my head. “Well. I can cut up bits and haul those back, then. If you want.”

“I would just about kiss you for that.”

“I'll be fine with a thank you,” I laughed.

Hirase handed me a sack and a leather case. “The thin knife's for the skin and the cleaver's for the rest,” he told me. “You look like you know your way around a blade, I don't need to give you step by step instructions, aye?”

“Oh yeah, I know what to do. You might not get the best hide,” I warned him.

“Anything we get can be used one way or another. Best hurry though, before somethin' bigger and meaner finds that carcass.”

I gave him a small wave and headed out.

“Gyuki guts,” I muttered, then covered my face again, for all the good it did me. “And I thought their _breath_ was bad...”

Fortunately I was nearly done, and the wind was changing just as Hirase had predicted. Soon I would be upwind of the unholy stench I had unleashed when I cut the creature open to start butchering it.

The sack bulged now, a gruesome harvest of hunks of meat and a couple lengths of hide. As I had expected, I'd struggled with that hide – thick and rubbery and oddly hard to slice even with the knife Hirase had given me. I'd made a right mess of skinning it, but at least I had gotten quite a lot of meat off the thing.

I stuffed the last bit of haunch into the sack and tied it shut, before going to the water and giving the knives – not to mention myself – a quick rinse. Then I slipped the knives back into their case and shouldered my burden, and gratefully escaped the vicinity of the stinking carcass.

I walked back, feeling tired but fairly proud of myself. I'd even been able to retrieve the arrows.

I hoped Alisaie and Lyse were getting on half as well – and far less messily.

Hirase was overjoyed with me when I showed up with the bounty of fresh and untainted meat. “Ah that's a gracious plenty,” he crowed. “We'll all eat well tonight. You're welcome to stay, you know. Seein' as you've saved our dinner and all.”

I smiled. “I might do that,” I answered. “Depends on a few things. We've a bone to pick with those Imperials.”

He shook his head. “No offense, Berylla, but...just you and those two little girls?”

I snorted a laugh. “Those _little girls_ would kick your ass if they heard you. Lyse packs quite a punch, trust me.”

“And the other one?”

“She can take care of herself. Up until a few months ago she was a caravan guard fending off sea dogs and desert bandits without breaking a sweat.” _Probably a bit of an exaggeration, but it surely wouldn't hurt Alisaie to have these fellows think of her as something other than a delicate little girl_.

“Still.” Hirase frowned. “Three women against the viceroy an' all the Empire's troops?”

“I've heard stranger things. One woman against a little god, or two. Or three.”

He peered at me. “Eh?”

I half smiled. “Maybe I'll tell you a story or two later. Over dinner.”

That made him grin again, and I started to leave. But he put his hand out.

“If I can ask you for one more favor...”

I looked at him, and cocked my head, waiting.

“Lately we've had trouble with ravenous sharks that've been leaping out of the water and making off with our fish. Damnedest thing, I know, but you wouldn't doubt it if you saw it.”

I thought about the weird wildlife we had already seen and nodded. “I believe you.”

“We've got to cull the thieving bastards regularly─so happens I sent three of my mates out there before you came along. Still, the more the merrier. If you can kill two or so, that ought to be enough.

Take a few of those rotting fish as bait. I'll not be needing them. Oh, and maybe see if you can't find the other group.” Then he rubbed the back of his neck. “To be honest, I'm more worried about my mates than the sharks at this point. They should've come back by now.”

“Right. Two sharks, three pirates,” I nodded. “I'll be back in a bit.”

I nicked a small flat woven basket from a pile and let Hirase drop a handful of fish into it. I was intensely glad the wind had turned out to sea. I hadn't expected all our tasks to be pleasant, but I was getting a lot more familiar with the local stenches than I liked...

I headed out towards the estuary that Hirase pointed out to me – tide pools where the problematic sharks tended to lurk at this time of day. And sure enough, there were a good number of the things, defying logic, sense, and gravity by leaping up above the water and hovering there for as long as a minute before splashing back down.

 _Alphinaud would be fascinated and want to know_ _ **how**_ _they're doing it_.

I put the thought out of my mind and started looking for the other Confederacy men that were supposed to be out here.

I ventured farther away from the shallows, towards an area where I could see great corals and another estuary. When I heard the cry, I stopped still and cocked my head, trying hard to pin down where it had come from.

“Get offa me, ya stinkin' shell-back!”

The Kojin lay dead at my feet, and I wiped my axe with the belt off of one of them.

The Confederacy pirate – just a boy, really, he must have been fifteen at most – was nearly in tears. “Oh, kami be praised! I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't come along.” He got up and dusted himself off. “My partners and I got separated when we fled. You haven't seen them, have you?”

“No, I just heard you hollering. Hirase sent me to fetch you all.”

“Damn... Before the Kojin started chasing us, their leader asked us if we were Doman.”

I frowned, and the young man clenched his fists.

“They're Yotsuyu's catchers, I know it! First Isari, and now this! I've got to tell Rasho and the others!”

Before I could even offer to escort him, he was off and running back towards the village. I sighed, and considered for a moment. I could keep trying to look for the other two, but if they were taken by the Kojin...

I sneered down at the bodies in the sand. _Three big strong mercenaries for one stripling pirate. Such bravery. But bad odds for me. Damn._

I turned away, and headed back to Onokoro.

I got back, and went straight to the spot where I'd last seen Alisaie. It seemed as good a place as any – and as I climbed the steps I heard Alisaie's voice. “Such unusual designs. Unlike the standards of most nations and organizations, they have chosen to incorporate a variety of symbols. A testament to their diverse heritage, I think.”

 _Well, look at that_.

But there was more on my mind than Alisaie's change of heart.

Lyse saw me and waved. “We've been keeping busy. How about...Oh no, you've got that look.”

Alisaie, leaning on the railing, greeted me with a small smile. “I heard you went shark hunting.” She nodded at Lyse, her smile widening. “We too did our fair share of beast culling─though I think Lyse made a stronger impression when she bested a drunken pirate in a sparring match. Fastest knockout to date, I am told.”

Then she took a second look at my face, and straightened. Lyse asked, “What happened now?”

“It seems the viceroy is not content to torment the local fisher-folk.” I told the two of them about my rescue of the young pirate, and watched Alisaie's brows come together as she reached the same conclusion I had.

“Kojin mercenaries rounding up Doman Confederates? Surely Yotsuyu has crossed the line now.” She headed for the stairs. “We must go and speak with Rasho immediately. Even he cannot deny that this changes everything. At least, I should like to think that he cannot.”

Tansui was glad to see us – though I suspected he was in a good mood from the rather pleasant scents coming from Hirase's cooking down below, as much or more than anything the others had reported of our deeds. But he saw the look in Alisaie's eye, and his smile faded.

“I was certain you understood our position,” he began, but she held up her hand.

“I speak only the truth,” she told the two pirates quietly. “The Confederacy will not be spared Yotsuyu's wrath. You have always known this – that one day you would have no choice but to stand up to the Empire.” She took a breath. “I say to you that day is today, and come once more to ask that you join us in the fight.”

Tansui frowned. “How convenient that recent events should lend such credence to your claims. Tell me,” his lip curled, “do death and destruction always follow in your wake?”

I tensed at the hint of suspicion in his tone.

Rasho spoke. “They had no part in it, Tansui. You know this. We all know this.”

Tansui shrugged and turned his shoulder to us. But Rasho looked directly at Alisaie.

“They came and took our Doman brothers. They will torture them for her sport – murder them for her satisfaction.” His voice was hard. “So we attack, and get butchered for our trouble...or do naught, and let them have their pound of flesh.” He spat to one side. “If this be our choice, I say we suffer the ignominy. We endure. We survive. There is no better path.”

His eyes looked just as Kemp's had after the Reach. The same words came from his mouth that had come from Raganfrid's mouth, back in Ala Gannha. The pain was the same, only the setting was different.

“Until the day our enemy is grown weaker, and we stronger, there can be no retribution. We will wait for a sign. Such is the judgment of the Confederacy.”

Lyse scowled. “So that's it, then. You're just going to abandon them. To her.” She pointed out towards the pirates below. “They'd die for you, you know – for the Confederacy. They would die for you, but you wouldn't even think to risk your lives for theirs!”

Rasho and Tansui both looked as if they'd like to slit her throat for her words. But they did not speak, or even move.

In the stony silence, Alisaie turned and spoke to me in an undertone.

“I have one last idea, if you will allow, Berylla. I'm afraid it's not very good as ideas go – it's _exceedingly_ reckless, in fact, and you may well come to despise me for ever having suggested it. Assuming we survive, that is.” She gave me an odd, fey smile that made me blink. “The question is – do you trust me?”

I felt like the words were loaded with far more meaning than I was seeing. But whatever else she was asking me – there was still only one answer. “Do you even have to ask? Of course.”

“We can't stand by and let innocent people suffer,” Lyse added. “Here or anywhere else. I'll do whatever it takes.”

Those words hit me like a gut punch. _Whatever it takes_. I could only nod.

Alisaie's smile then was bright and sharp and a little mad. My insides shivered to see it.

“Then,” she said softly, “let us roll the dice.”


	14. Ambitious Promises

Alisaie turned back to Rasho and stepped closer to him. Her posture was a challenge, her voice deceptively casual. “If it's a sign you want, we shall give you one. One rousing enough to make you drive every Garlean out of Isari without a second thought.”

Their eyes fixed on her like wolves scenting prey. She lifted her chin.

“You are wary of invoking the ire of the Imperial forces stationed in Doma, correct? Know then, that once we have rescued our comrade and freed Isari, we mean to liberate the nation as a whole.”

She didn't give them the chance to speak, words flowing as smoothly as ever I'd heard Alphinaud speak them. She wielded her words the same way she wielded her blade – with grace and precision.

“You will doubtless require assurances than we are capable of achieving this – and that is only fair. Accordingly, we shall demonstrate our seriousness by depriving the Garleans of a key ally: the Kojin.”

Tansui's voice was amused. “What, the three of you? Just like that?” He didn't have to say the same things Hirase had said; the gaze he raked across her said it for him.

I snorted, drawing his attention to me. I gave my axe a meaningful tap, and Alisaie smiled. Her tone was cool as a Coerthan breeze.

“Actually, my esteemed colleague here will attend to it on her own. But the how of it is not your concern. Only the outcome.”

She held one hand out in front of her as if examining her nails. “If we succeed, you help us liberate Isari. If we fail, you lose nothing. A simple enough wager.” She dropped her hand and met Rasho's gaze, and her smile was downright wicked. “If you have the stones for it.”

Tansui looked almost like a man hiding an erection. But Rasho was thinking, and thinking hard.

After a moment, Tansui looked over at his captain. “The little miss does make it hard to refuse, does she not?”

Alisaie's eyes sparked at his tone, but she kept silent.

Rasho took a single step closer, looming over her. “Words are air,” he said quietly. “We will weigh you by your deeds.”

Tansui shook his head. “Bold claims and even bolder promises,” he scoffed. “I should be interested to see if you can live up to them.”

“If you are set upon this course,” Rasho said, his gaze including me as well as Alisaie now, “I shall give you a word of advice. Seek the Blue on the Isle of Bekko. There you will find a cave. The rest is up to you.”

Alisaie bowed, in the Eastern fashion, and I followed suit.

“Thank you, Captain. We shall endeavor not to keep you waiting overlong for your sign.”

She turned and walked away, with me right beside her.

The minute we were back at our little meeting-spot, Alisaie sagged a little. “Thank you for placing your faith in me, Berylla.” She looked up at me and shook her head just a little. “All that remains is to carry out our promise...ambitious as it is.”

“Are you truly planning to head out this instant?” I asked her, but my eyes were on the sky. The sun was beginning to set, turning the clouds crimson. “We're in for weather tonight.”

“Will it matter?”

I met her eyes. “Well...we won't perish of being in the rain, no.” I made my eyes big. “But can we at least eat first?”

She began to giggle, helplessly. “Do you – oh! – do you always think with your stomach, Berylla?”

“Only when I'm hungry.” I grinned at her, tickled by the sound of her laughter and the way she held her sides, the way her eyes crinkled up.

After a minute she calmed herself, and let out a long breath. “Whew. I think I needed that.” Then she frowned and looked back up the steps. “Where's Lyse?”

I went over to the railing and looked down among the buildings, and then raised my eyes to scan the shore. “There,” I pointed to the second pier, the one not in use. The figure in red was hard to miss even with the twilight gathering.

Alisaie tilted her head, and we looked at each other. She nodded once, and we headed down to the beach.

Lyse looked up as we approached. “Hm? Berylla?”

“You okay?”

“Oh, sorry.” She gestured vaguely. “I didn't mean to wander off. I just...” Her eyes turned back to the sea. “I just wanted to have a think.”

“You're worried we won't be able to live up to our promises?” Alisaie ventured.

“No, it's not that at all!” Lyse shook her head, making her ponytail bounce. “If anything, I'm frustrated that I didn't think of it first.” But she was still pensive. “Yda and my father had a way with words,” she said after a moment. “They knew how to inspire people – how to bring them together. I always hoped I might have something of that in me too, but I'm starting to think I don't.”

She bent her head, and rubbed at her eyes, and her voice was hushed. “What am I even _doing_ here...?”

I set my hand on her shoulder. How many times had I asked myself that question just in the last two days? I hadn't expected this venture to be easy, but I hadn't been ready for just how hard it was turning out to be.

But she looked up and shook her head. “Gods, listen to me! I don't know where that came from. Forget I said anything!” She tried for a smile, but I could tell Alisaie wasn't buying it any more than I was. “We have places to go, imperials to fight, and friends to save! And we're not going to get any of it done by standing around here moaning, right?”

She looked from me to Alisaie and back again, and hesitated. “...Right?”

Alisaie set a hand on Lyse's arm. “...Before we first traveled to Gyr Abania, I was in Limsa Lominsa, visiting...visiting a friend. A young child who had been through a great deal.”

I held in my reaction. I had had no idea she was still actually visiting little Ga Bu. Damn, I hadn't even known that he'd been moved to Limsa. I felt obscurely guilty for a moment. But she was continuing to speak.

“That's neither here nor there, I suppose. Anyway, on the way back, I passed a patisserie which sold some of the most exquisite-looking tarts I had ever seen. I've always preferred cookies, to be honest, but nevertheless I decided to stop and try one...”

Her eyes twinkled a little, and Lyse smiled just the same as I did.

“Those must have been some fabulous tarts,” Lyse said.

“I'll treat you to one, when all this is over. Berylla too─and I won't take no for an answer.”

I shook my head, chuckling.

“What about Y'shtola? We'd never hear the end of it!” Lyse grinned.

“All right, all right─Y'shtola too, once she's better. Deal?” Alisaie smiled and squeezed Lyse's arm once when the blond woman nodded. “Good. Then let's hurry, shall we? We have a million things to do before then!”

By the time we had finished our little pep talk, night had fallen. None of the vessels the pirates used were the sort of thing that would suit our needs, and I put my foot down and flatly refused to swim in dark waters where I knew for a fact there were sharks. So Alisaie had to give in and let us stay the night. “But we're leaving at the very first hint of dawn,” she insisted. “Gosetsu is suffering every hour we waste.”

“And being exhausted and shark bitten won't help us,” I replied, arms crossed. She made a noise of frustration, but let it go.

Dinner with the Confederacy was a rowdy affair – most like a barbecue back home might have been, with folks strung up and down the beach, perched on crates, dangling their feet off the pier, and circled around the big fire. Bowls were handed out and passed around without any ceremony at all, and bottles of drink were shared freely with blithe disregard. I nicked a fresh bottle of ale – something I actually recognized – and kept it to myself, not quite ready to go sharing spit with every pirate on the island.

The stew was hearty, and if the flavors were strong, Hirase had been right – the gyuki meat wasn't so bad, this way. Judging by the enthusiasm with which everyone else was eating, this was a particularly good batch. I was glad I had helped out.

And the lack of ceremony held even for Rasho and Tansui, who had to elbow their way into the circle of bodies around the fire and bellow for bowls of stew over the chatter.

There were mutters, away from the captain and the first mate, uneasy snatches of conversation; people had heard about the catchers, knew exactly who was missing from the island, and yet everyone also knew that they couldn't do a damned thing about it. But I could see the rumor of Alisaie's promise traveling around the lot of them – could practically track the topic across the whole beach, could count the startled glances that turned speculative or pleased or mocking.

Lyse was still thinking hard, and barely noticed anything, but I could tell Alisaie noticed the talk. Her mouth twitched every time someone else eyed her. Someone said, practically right behind her, “There ain't no way a little slip of a girl like that is takin' on the bloody damn Imperials!” But even then she didn't react, merely snorted to herself and finished her stew.

The wind picked up as dinner was ending. It didn't surprise me now to see everyone turn a hand to cleaning up and banking the fire. These men and women didn't treat each other like crew-mates or comrades even. They were family. Lyse had been right. They would die for the Confederacy – for each other. Or, as right now, they would gladly take care of each other and get ready to wait out a storm.

Once everything was battened down, the three of us hesitated. Most everyone else was scattering – clearly there was shelter for everyone. But...

“Come along, then,” Tansui waved at us. “Don't dawdle, I'm tired.”

We glanced at each other and followed him.

“Well. It's cozy. And we will certainly be up with the sun.”

“Before it,” Lyse mumbled.

Our bunk for the night was, as it turned out, the floor. Sort of. Tansui had handed me a folded-up, bulky blanket, and left us to our own devices in this single room. There was absolutely nothing else in here, and only the presence of the tatami made it clear that this wasn't just a store-room or something.

I unfolded the blanket, and discovered that it was not, exactly, a blanket. It was much thicker even than the luxurious feather-beds in Aymeric's house.

It was also huge, and covered half the floor space.

Alisaie regarded it with a small frown. “Hm.”

Lyse was already taking off her boots and setting them in a corner. “Oh, don't fret,” she said, stretching. “It's comfortable.”

“How would you – oh, right,” I remembered. “You took a nap before I did.”

“And not on the couch,” she snickered.

“What?” Alisaie glanced up. “You slept on the couch, Berylla?”

I shrugged. “Does it matter? Come on, get yourself settled. I'll take the outside.”

She hesitated, then bent to take off her own boots. I leaned up against the wall and tugged my shoes off, and my shirt. I was positive that I'd sweat like a pig if I tried sleeping in the black shirt, comfortable as it was the rest of the time. It wasn't like sleeping in my chemise was going to bother either Lyse or Alisaie.

I straightened up to see that Lyse was lying down, her back towards me, and Alisaie was tucking herself under the blanket. I blew out the one candle by the door, and laid down. I frowned when I realized that there wasn't quite enough room for me.

Alisaie spoke quietly. “Just turn on your side, Berylla. We should all fit, then.”

“Oh.” I shrugged. “Okay.”

Then I felt her hand on my wrist, tugging gently, and figured out that she wanted me to turn over so that I was facing the same way as Lyse. I went along with it, and found my arm tugged into place so that I was spooning her. For a moment I felt a flicker of confusion, until I realized she was doing the same to Lyse. _I guess I really have no sense of how to fit three people onto a bed. Well, whatever, it's comfortable and warm and it's been a long damn day._

A very long day – and I had not rested all that well, back in the city. I was falling asleep even as I finished my thought.

_A soft scent of exotic flowers, and softer lips on mine...a sigh in the dark. I could not see the one touching me. It didn't matter. All that mattered were the kisses, the sweet warm mouth on mine, and the seeking hands that stroked me in all the right places. I reached for the other, and felt silken skin, heard a tiny gasp, a murmur. Fingers slipped and slid and delved, mouths met and tongues tangled, and we chased the pleasure together – I whimpered, and tried to open my eyes, tried to murmur a name. But my eyes would not open and my voice seemed frozen in my throat and then –_

I woke up with a small gasp, halfway out of the bed. Thunder rattled the boards of the little room. Beside me, Alisaie was curled up against Lyse's back, and both of them were dead asleep.

 _A dream. A gods-damned dream_. I ran my hands through my hair and shivered a little. _One hell of a fucking dream. Gods...I need some air._

I eased out from under the blanket and slipped out of the room without putting on shoes or my shirt. I was glad for the sliding doors that were so common here; it made leaving a room practically silent.

Once outside, I could smell the rain; the wood of the deck was still a bit damp with it. But the storm seemed to be mostly noise, now. The night air was cool against my skin, and I realized that I had been sweating a bit...and that not all the dampness I was feeling was sweat.

I looked around, peering in the darkness, and made out a little spot near some crates. It wasn't the most private place, but no one else was likely to be awake and _dammit_...

I went over and wedged myself against the crates, fighting with my pants until I could get them open enough to slide my hand down inside of them. I let the crates take my weight as I settled back, eyes half shut. My smalls were definitely damp, well on their way to being soaked.

Two months – more than that, by now? I hadn't touched anyone since we had left Ishgard. I had been so upset and thinking so hard about – well _everything_ – that I hadn't really noticed the pressure of need. But it was making itself known now, and with a vengeance. I brushed my fingers over my sex and had to bite my lip to keep quiet. I braced my foot against a crate and curled in on myself just a bit, until I could slide two fingers inside myself.

The ache in me flared and I took a ragged breath. My cheeks burned – if someone were to see me like this I would just plain die of embarrassment. But I _needed_ to come, so very badly...

I stroked my fingers in and out, and managed to get my thumb into a position to rub my clit. I panted harshly as I forced myself to go slow. I couldn't think about Aymeric. Instead I thought about the dream I had just had, the mysterious lover. Who on earth could I have been dreaming about? But even just the memory of it was enough to excite me.

I fucked myself, harder now, faster. Even when the orgasm rolled over me, I kept going, motions sporadic but still enough to spark more pleasure. I moaned, working my sex frantically, and managed a second orgasm that made me arch and cry out.

Thunder rolled above my head, covering my noises.

For a minute I just lay there, sprawled on the crates, and let myself float on the echoes of the pleasure. I could feel my sex flexing, trying to grip on a cock that wasn't there. It wasn't really enough, it didn't really sate the hunger in my body.

But it was going to have to do for now. I wasn't about to go hunt up some random pirate. I wasn't sure I even _could_ get off with just anybody. Always before it had been with people I loved – or at least people I cared about, friends, people I could _trust_.

Alisaie's words from earlier shivered through me. The look in her eye as she had asked me, “Do you trust me?”

_No. No way. What the fuck is wrong with you, Berylla? You're an absolute fucking mess, thinking like that._ _**Stop it** _ _._

I sat up, and set my clothes to rights. As thunder filled the sky again, and lightning flickered, I ran my hands through my hair, and stood up. I firmly shoved those slithering, lustful thoughts down, as far as I could. I was not going to start seeing flirtation where there couldn't possibly be any, and even if – _No. No, no, no. I refuse to go losing my mind just because I haven't gotten laid in a while._

I tried not to stomp as I made my way back to the room to get a few more hours of sleep.


	15. Beneath the Deep Blue Sea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand we're back!  
> Thank you to everyone who so patiently waited for me!

Dawn, and the first “real” Doman breakfast I had ever had.

 _Of course it's rice. Everything's rice_. I eyed the triangular thing in my hand with a bit of doubt. But the pirates all around me were already eating, and I could tell that if I wanted seconds, I was going to have to hurry about it.

I took a bite, and the next thing I knew it was gone and I was reaching for another just as eagerly as any of the Confederacy folks.

 _Definitely going to learn how to make this at least. I will_ _ **make**_ _time for it, somehow_.

A tin mug was pressed into my other hand, and Hirase grinned at me as he poured hot tea into the mug. I took a sip, cautious of the heat, and before long that was gone too, along with my second onigiri. I handed back the mug with a murmur of thanks.

Alisaie and Lyse were finishing their food nearly at the same time as me, and I nodded to the two of them. “Time to go work a miracle,” I said quietly.

Hirase waved to us as we walked out towards the empty pier.

“If what I was told last night is accurate,” Alisaie said, “the island we want is that one.” She pointed, and I nodded. It wasn't a short distance, but if we were going to swim for it, this was the time. Night predators would be resting, and anything that hunted by day wouldn't be awake for a few hours yet.

“Let's go.”

_I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't crabs._

There was no sign that anyone had ever lived on this island. There were unkiu – much smaller crabs than the ones that plagued Moraby Bay back in Eorzea, but twice as vicious – and that was about it.

“I think this is the right island...” Alisaie cocked her head. “Though, to be honest, it looks the same to me as however many other islands around here. Rasho said there was a cave, did he not?”

I pointed to an opening in the cliffs, a wide path that seemed to lead inward and upward. “Let's try that way. Might only go to the other side of the island but maybe we'll see a cave on the way.”

She nodded, and the three of us headed for the path.

There was, indeed, a cave – and no mistaking it for anything other than a deliberately created space, because there were carvings that looked very much like the decorations that had adorned Soroban's sloop.

We headed in, and down. None of us spoke, and we all kept our eyes open. After all, the Kojin might have sentries or guards...or for all I knew, watch-crabs.

But as we reached the bottom, Alisaie said, “Is that light I see up ahead?”

Our steps sped up. We passed through an archway framed by carved pillars and...

“Ahhh,” Alisaie breathed. Lyse let out a long sigh of pure wonder.

I stared straight ahead, and saw a faint shimmering – and just beyond it, a gigantic fish. It seemed like it was flying...and yet it was obvious that there _was_ water beyond the shimmering wall.

“We...” Alisaie's eyes were wide, and her voice rippled with excitement and wonder, “We appear to be standing inside a giant bubble. By the Twelve...I think we're on the seabed!”

I half wished Alphinaud were with us, and then thought better of it. Who knew how he might feel, being underneath the sea, even inside of a bubble the size of a town?

“How is that even _possible?_ ” Lyse murmured. But as we walked forward, her face was alight with curiosity.

The area was certainly arresting even without the consideration of the giant bubble. I had never seen a place like this one. Structures – houses maybe? – seemed to grow right out of the reef, and I could clearly see dozens of Kojin from where we stood on a kind of hill looking out over the village. The bubble was tall enough that there was plenty of room above the top of the aetheryte that spun serenely in the middle of the settlement.

“Well, well! I thought I heard familiar voices.”

I turned, already grinning widely. “Soroban!”

“Oh! Soroban! What are you doing here?” Lyse asked.

“Hm?” I could hear the humor in the Kojin's voice. “What a curious question. I _live_ here.”

I smothered my laugh as Lyse blinked at him a couple times. “So...this is the home of the Blue Kojin?”

“Just so,” Soroban smiled. “I bid you welcome to Tamamizu!”

“So tell me, my friends─what strange tides bear you to our home?”

We looked at each other, and I nodded at Alisaie. “You're the best one to tell the tale.”

Once she had related yesterday's events – the broad strokes of it anyway, including her promise to the Confederacy – Soroban cocked his head. “That is indeed a most dire predicament...”

Then his eyes lit up. “But perhaps an opportunity for us to craft yet another profitable arrangement!”

“I would be quite willing to negotiate with you and your people,” Alisaie began, but the Kojin lifted one hand.

“Before we discuss any further, I must introduce you to our leader, Bunchin. It will be up to you, however, to present your case.”

He waved for us to follow him.

As we walked along behind him, Alisaie stared around a little more. “I have so many questions,” she murmured. Then she saw me looking at her and cleared her throat. “But, they will just have to wait.”

We hung back a few paces, and let Soroban handle the introductions. The chief of the Blue wore a very impressive looking, very green, antique helm, like nothing I had seen on any warriors in Kugane. I was glad Soroban had mentioned what we should do. Lyse had been confused enough just trying to figure out if she needed to bow to this person or not.

At last, Soroban stepped to one side and waved us forward.

“Welcome, guests.” The chief's words were accented, as if he rarely spoke trade-tongue. “Gratitude to you for aiding Soroban in his negotiations.”

Alisaie took half a step forward. “We thank you for your hospitality, honored elder. Pray forgive me my brevity, but I wish to discuss an urgent matter.”

She looked to me, then, and I explained as best I could the situation. The two Kojin were very definitely dismayed to hear about the most recent abductions, but as for the rest...I wished, again, that I could rely on the Echo to read and interpret body language for me the same way it did speech, and written words.

There was silence for a time after I stopped talking. I could hear the ocean above us and around us, a slow and sleepy sound, like breathing.

“So.” The chief spoke slowly. “You seek to compel our Red brothers to forego hostilities for a time.”

“That's right.” Lyse's words were awkward, and I knew she was trying her very hardest not to blurt out something stupid. “We know you two clans have your, um, differences, but what with you being – er – brothers and all, we thought you might be able to share some...” Her expression bent, and she faltered, “Some secret knowledge...or something?”

I could feel Alisaie resolutely _not laughing_ next to me, and I was glad that I was between her and Lyse. Though I was liable to giggle too if I didn't watch myself. Still, once more Lyse's honesty seemed to win her some points.

“From far above, you have journeyed here in search of our wisdom,” the chief intoned. “You shall have it.”

Something about the way he said the words made me straighten my back a little.

“All creation is a tapestry, through which the divine is interwoven. Kami are legion, and they can be found in the great and the small. Though they come and go as they please, they favor certain vessels. The ancient. The precious. The exquisite.”

His words carried the rhythm and resonance of scripture, and I understood that he was relating the Kojin religion – or at least its equivalent. Things were indeed very different here in the East than in Eorzea. It occurred to me that this was why Soroban had put such emphasis on the word “treasures,” back when we had first met.

“We Kojin covet these vessels, these treasures. We go forth and bring them home, to keep them safe and bask in their divinity. They bring prosperity and joy to us and our children.” The chief's voice altered, becoming less reverent and more pragmatic. “Yet how were we to seek these treasures above if we made enemies of the Garlean Empire, powerful and far-reaching as they are?” His tone changed again, now heavy with sarcasm. “Wiser to join with them. So resolved the Red Kojin.”

“Cautiously and carefully,” Soroban added, “for the Garleans are blind to the divine. Nor will they suffer their subjects to see.”

I nodded. This, we knew very well from our own experiences – van Baelsar had even sneered at the Twelve as nothing more than overgrown “eikons,” after all.

“So,” Soroban concluded, “the Red masquerade as mercenaries who seek money and power and never speak of their faith in the presence of their masters.” He shook his head. “To honor the divine, they deny it. A twisted and misguided path.”

Alisaie looked very thoughtful, and Lyse nodded.

“Aye, aye,” the chief grumbled. “Kami will not abide such foolishness, this they shall learn to their sorrow.” He spread his hands. “While our Red brothers live by the sword, we Blue Kojin uphold the old ways, engaging in trade and valuing peace.” He lowered his hands again, and sighed. “Alas, men distinguish not between our clans, and judgment for the doings of the Red falls unjustly on the Blue. Thus do men grow more and more reluctant to deal with us, denying us our treasures. This cannot continue!”

“On that point,” Alisaie said, “we are in agreement. You are willing to aid our cause, then?”

The chief's voice took on a tone of sly humor. “There is a way that the Red may be driven to retreat into their shells. But to share with you this knowledge is to reveal secrets of the divine. Assurances must first be had. Trust forged. A bargain struck.”

Soroban smiled. “Well said, Elder! In great crises is great profit to be had!”

_That_ _**can't** _ _be an actual proverb._

The bargain, it turned out, was nothing simple.

“Listen well, my friends,” Soroban began. “We require your assistance with the search for a priceless treasure: the Yasakani–no–Magatama. This jewel, this most sacred of Kojin relics, was in the possession of Hingashi─until they decided to present it to the Garleans in a gesture of conciliation. The Red would not abide this, and so they plotted to seize the vessel bearing it to their imperial masters. Alas, though they succeeded, in the ensuing chaos the Magatama was lost to the sea. We wish to recover the sacred jewel before our brothers. However, were we to come into conflict with them, it would be...problematic. Therefore, we turn to you.”

Lyse cocked her head. “So you want us to search the ocean floor for this treasure of yours? I'm not sure how we're supposed to do that without, you know...”

Soroban grinned, jaw gaping. “Drowning? Fear not. There is a ritual I can perform to imbue your bodies with a powerful blessing. But first, you must prepare offerings for the sea.”

“Offerings?” I asked.

“I require twisted ruby coral, several fist-sized sea snail shells, and a freshly harvested unkiu carapace.” Soroban recited the list as if he performed this ritual every day. Then again...his people lived in a bubble, on the bottom of the ocean. If they weren't born able to breathe water...

Alisaie made a little, thoughtful hum. “That's quite the shopping list. I will see to the shells, and Lyse can look for the coral. Berylla, would you go and find an unkiu and relieve it of its carapace?”

“Sure.” With a small wave to Soroban, we turned and headed back out to the surface.

Once outside, we stood for a moment just looking around. Lyse pointed. “I think I see some ruby coral over there. I can swim that far.” She started for the shore. “See you both later!”

Alisaie eyed the small tide-pool about fifty feet away from the water. Even I could see the plenitude of snails – very large ones, if they were visible from here. I could also see the way her lip curled.

“Problem?”

She glanced up at me and quickly looked away. “No.” Then, reluctantly: “Snails are disgusting, and the bigger they are, the slimier they are. That's all.”

“He didn't say he needed the snails, just the shells.”

She flashed me a mildly annoyed look.

I shrugged, then pulled my axe off my back and made something of a show of examining it. That done, I hefted the axe over my shoulder. “Well, soonest done and all that. See you.” I headed off, back to the area of the beach where we'd already seen plenty of unkiu crabs.

It was simple to find and kill the crabs. The tricky part was managing to kill them _without_ ruining the shells. I shook my head as I pried the big top section off my last kill. I wasn't sure if the critters were edible, but even if they weren't, it seemed a waste to kill so many for one chunk of shell.

But, I could see why Soroban wanted it. The thing was green and blue, shifting between the two colors as I tilted it to the light, and the underside shimmered with color as well, like mother-of-pearl and yet not quite. _Exquisite_ certainly was the word for it, from an aesthetic point of view.

From the point of view of obtaining it, though, maybe _excruciating_ fit better.

I took my time walking back. I wanted to think, away from everyone.

The dream I had had during the night, and what I'd done after, bothered me a little now. I had gone without sex before, after all – almost five months without it, back in Ishgard. And before that – before Haurchefant – I had barely paid attention to anyone in that way.

_I was busy then. I'm busy now. Why is it different? Why am I so...so needy now?_

Or maybe I had always been needy in some way, but only now I was noticing it?

 _Or maybe I'm just thinking way too hard about fucking. There's a lot to be done and none of it involves sex. Surely I can just ignore it_.

But I couldn't lie to myself, even for a minute. _I'm going to start losing sleep if that kind of dream happens more often. I was already having nightmares...and yeah, wet dreams are nicer than nightmares, but they still ain't_ _ **restful**_ _._

I kicked at a stone. _Well, I guess I'll just muddle through somehow or other. I can probably sneak off for a half-hour to take care of it if I have to. I somehow doubt my horniness is going to go away now that it's decided to make itself known_.

For one instant my mind conjured up a vivid fantasy, a remembered dream.

_Steam, and sighs of pleasure, and pale against dark._

I stopped in my tracks, and shut my eyes, forcing myself to just breathe, to concentrate on the air moving in and out of my lungs. I could _not_ afford to be this distracted right now. Grimly I pushed down the lust once more. _Later_ , I promised myself. _Later I'll do something about this all. Not right fucking_ _ **now**_.


	16. Waves and Ways

I was the last one to return; I saw Alisaie on my way back down into the cave, making use of the fountain of fresh water that bubbled near the entrance to Tamamizu. She looked up as I walked past her, but didn't stop scrubbing her hands.

Lyse, and Soroban, were waiting for me. The Kojin grinned when I presented the carapace to him.

“How splendid!” he said, delighted. He set the coral and the snail shells on top of the carapace. I had to admit, the items made a very pretty sight – the coral had a soft glow to it even now, and the snail shells were quite striking in and of themselves, but against the unkiu carapace their patterns seemed to stand out even more. “These shall more than suffice for our purpose,” Soroban said, his voice radiating satisfaction. “Next, we must make ready to present them to the sea and perform the ritual. Once it has been completed, you will be able to move freely through the depths and find the Yasakani–no–Magatama!”

Alisaie came up behind me, muttering still about snail slime. I glanced over my shoulder to see her drying her hands and sighing, even as she visibly wrestled her expression back into something more polite.

She stepped up beside me, tucking her handkerchief back into her pouch. “Out of curiosity, how large is this sacred jewel of yours? Unless it's far too large to be carried by the three of us, how are we supposed to even find it? The Ruby Sea is not exactly small.”

Soroban laughed aloud. “Ha! Surely you realize we have been searching this whole time? The area we wish you to explore is but a small fraction of the Ruby Sea. Already have we scoured most of the seabed near and within our territory, to no avail. All that remains is a region to the west. The shell-less of Sui–no–Sato can provide you with better guidance than we. You would do well to visit them first.”

Lyse blinked at him. “Shell-less? You mean the Kojin aren't the only ones living under the sea?”

Soroban chuckled. “Of course not! The Raen have been here as long as I can remember. Shiosai, the...overseer, I believe, can tell you more when you arrive. But we are getting ahead of ourselves,” he added. “We have yet to carry out the ritual!”

Soroban had taken the offerings to Bunchin, and gained the elder's approval; then he had bade us meet him at the western edge of the village. Then he had gone off and vanished through the wall.

Now, we stood near the bubble-wall, eyeing an odd looking circle in the material that looked, from here, like nothing so much as a whirlpool turned on its edge.

“I'm not sure I like the look of that,” Lyse murmured.

Alisaie stood with her arms crossed, and something about the way she peered at the vortex told me she was looking with more senses than just her eyes. “Quite how this blessing is supposed to keep us from drowning...”

Just then, Soroban returned, jumping feet first through the vortex – window – portal, and splashing to the ground. “It is done,” he told us, his voice resonant. “Your offerings have been given to the sea.” He beckoned to us. “The ritual can begin at last. Come and stand before me, my friends.”

We moved closer to him, and he began to speak, his voice almost hypnotic.

“Listen to my words, and let all else wash away. Listen to my words, and feel them flow into your heart...at first a trickle, then a flood...” My eyes drifted shut, as his voice murmured on. “O kami of the fathomless waters, of the fallen, the ascended, the flowing, and the becalmed, caretakers of the shallows and of the depths...”

I could feel something, tickling at my aether, gentler than a fish brushing past my foot in a river.

“Receive of us our meager offerings...”

There was a taste in my mouth, of salt water.

“Cleanse these ones of earth and stone, and grant them your blessing...”

I heard Lyse and Alisaie both gasp softly, even as I startled a little, feeling water against my skin and yet not getting wet, feeling water fill my mouth and yet not choking. And even as I took in a quick breath, I was not afraid. I couldn't be afraid.

“Grant them your blessing that they might drink deep of the divine!”

There was a sound like soap bubbles popping, and I opened my eyes.

Lyse and Alisaie both looked amazed, and Soroban regarded all three of us with the fondest smile I had seen him give us yet.

“The ritual is complete, my friends. You may now breathe in the depths as you would upon land.”

Lyse looked at her arms and then her legs, as if she expected to have grown fish scales. Alisaie tilted her head a little, her eyes focusing inward. “Strange...I don't feel any different.” Her mouth quirked in a sly smile as she turned her attention outward once more, and looked up at Soroban. “Are you sure it worked?”

He came right back at her with humor of his own. “Reasonably. The blessing does have its limits, of course.” As Alisaie grinned, he added in a slightly more serious tone, “While it will allow you to dwell in the depths, it will not help you traverse them.”

Lyse lifted one shoulder. “Well, I can swim well enough. How about you, Alisaie?”

I cocked my head. She hadn't done badly as we'd swum between islands, but...

“Oh, like a fish,” Alisaie answered absently. “In contrast to my doggy-paddling brother.” Her eyes sparkled with devilish humor. “Somehow, the boy just isn't very buoyant.”

Lyse began to giggle, and I couldn't hold back a laugh of my own. “You are so, _so_ mean,” I told Alisaie, and she laughed.

Even Soroban chuckled. “Skilled or no, your bodies are ill-suited to the sea. Your cause demands alacrity, and you shall have it. But first,” he gestured grandly towards the portal in the bubble-wall, “let us take to the water!”

Lyse looked at me, then at Alisaie. But Alisaie wasted not another second. She ran at the portal, and leaped, leaving us to follow her.

The transition was absolutely unremarkable. It felt not much different from walking through a door, except that I had to jump a bit. The water still felt like water, too – my limbs moved the same, my hair floated on the current, and looking through the water was just as – well, watery – as it had ever been. But...

“Incredible,” Alisaie's voice echoed strangely, but I could hear her with perfect clarity. “I could swear I was breathing air!”

I was grinning hugely. This is fantastic! Twelve, but I don't wonder if this blessing would actually help Alphinaud's fears...!

Lyse was as excited as Alisaie, and both of them performed little flips in the water, laughing quietly in delight at the sheer sense of freedom. I was content to watch them, but I couldn't deny that this was truly a magical experience.

Then Soroban swept past me, barely moving, and I saw what he meant about our bodies being ill-suited to the sea. His limbs seemed to barely twitch, but he cut through the water as nimbly as any shark. He swam in a circle around us, then paused, hovering in front of us with the same ease as any fish. “Now,” he said, his voice even deeper and more resonant than ever, “the matter of transport...”

The village that Soroban had advised us to seek out – Sui-no-Sato as it was called – was right where he had said it would be. Unfortunately, the village leader was not as helpful as we had all hoped.

“And so it continues. Another village, another deaf ear. Clearly, Gyr Abania is not the only place with walls.” Alisaie's voice was dull with disappointment. “I'm starting to wonder if this was all a huge mistake. Gosetsu couldn't have known we would take this long. I only hope he's still alive.”

Lyse, by contrast, was just plain furious. “Everywhere we go it's the same. “Go away, we don't want any.” You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but some stupid part of me just can't help hoping for the best.”

“I don't think it's stupid of you.” I ran my hand through my hair, and watched Alisaie begin to pace. She didn't chew on her fingernails, but she still looked so very much like her brother for a moment that it made my eyes sting. Damn it. We should have brought him with us. Tataru doesn't need his help and we do.

Alisaie paced in front of me and Lyse for a good fifteen minutes – exactly six paces north, then four paces east, six south, four west, and again. Every full circuit she seemed to discard another idea – at least I assumed that was what it meant when she frowned and shook her head again as she started north once more. But finally, she stopped, and sighed deeply.

“We seem to have reached an impasse. And to make matters worse, every solution I can think of will only take more time.”

For the first time since Ishgard, she looked to me for help...for comfort. “I don't suppose you have any ideas, do you, Berylla?”

I rubbed my eyes. No, I don't have any ideas, I'm just the idiot with the axe, Alisaie. But I didn't say that. Instead, reluctantly because I was certain she had already thought about it, I ventured, “We could ask the villagers if they know anything?”

She looked down at the pearl-white sand. “Right...”

I turned away and looked out beyond the bubble-wall that enclosed this village. I was no good at brilliant plans, and I couldn't decide if I was more frustrated because I hadn't come up with something, or upset because I had so clearly let Alisaie down. I wondered how fast I could actually swim out there, on my own. Would it take me hours to scour the “small region” Soroban had mentioned? Days? Months?

Our brooding was interrupted by a hesitant voice. “You are the ones who came from above, yes? If we could have a moment of your time?”

I let out a little yip of surprise, having been much too focused on my own thoughts; Lyse and Alisaie were less obvious about it, but they were a bit startled too.

The Raen man – an older fellow, it seemed – bowed once. “Mine apologies. I did not mean to startle you. My name is Ihanami, and this is my wife Yunagi.” The petite woman beside him also bowed. There was something about her eyes that teased my memory, something about both of them.

Inahami cleared his throat. “We were wondering... Have you any news from Doma? If so, we should like very much to hear it.”

Alisaie cocked her head. “May I ask why?”

The man looked behind him, as if making certain no other villagers were in earshot. “If you must. Our daughter fought in the rebellion. We have heard naught from her since. It would be too much to hope that you know of her, but...her name is Yugiri.”

All three of us brightened at the mention of that name. “She's a friend of ours,” I said quietly, and told them the very barest of basics – how Yugiri had come to Eorzea's shores, how we Scions had extended our hands to her, and how aid and succor had become, over time, friendship. How that friendship had brought us here, to the farthest East, to find her, and aid her once more.

Yunagi put her hands to her heart and looked like she might cry. “Kami be praised! She lives! She lives...” Her husband put one arm around her, and the two of them simply leaned together for a moment.

Lyse spread her hands. “We're still looking for her, actually, but I'm sure she's all right.”

Alisaie set one hand on her hip. “We had no idea she hailed from Sui–no–Sato. How did she come to serve Doma as a shinobi?”

Ihanami sighed a little. “It all began when she was a little girl. She and another child crept out of the village, having grown curious about the outside world. To Doma they went, where they met a young boy─a proud son of Yanxia. His tales of imperial oppression left a lasting impression on her. When she returned, she spoke passionately of the Domans' plight and urged us to take the boy in. But my wife and I would not hear of it.”

Yunagi hung her head, and Inahami tugged his wife an inch closer. “We thought the matter closed, but she never forgot his words. She became convinced that the Garleans would one day come for us. And it was in search of the strength to defend us that she left, years later, to learn the ways of the shinobi...” His eyes shut, then opened. “When the then Ruby Princess learned of this, she forbade Yugiri's return, lest she bring misfortune to us all.”

“We protested the judgment, but there was naught we could do. And so our daughter, who wanted only to keep her people safe...” Yunagi sniffled, and turned her head into her husband's shoulder for a moment. I ached to see the way her shoulders shook, the way she didn't make a sound. Years of pain...and only this cold comfort, to know her daughter was alive, but nothing more.

But the moment passed, and she leaned back, looking up into her husband's face. “Surely there is something we can do for these people? They who gave her aid and succor when no other would?”

He frowned, thinking. “I am but a humble stonemason. But if it is the Yasakani–no–Magatama you seek, I may yet be of some assistance to you.”

Alisaie's ears practically perked up. Inahami turned to his wife, and murmured a quiet word to her; with a small smile at us, she hurried off towards one of the buildings.

“The jewel is known to possess an unusual property. To the naked eye it is as jade, but when bathed in a particular light, it shimmers with a divine resplendence. I have mined similar materials before. To find them, one must use these lamps.” Yunagi returned just as he finished speaking, with three odd looking lights in her hands. They resembled, in a superficial way, the sort of lantern used on fishing boats during a bad blow – fully encased in glass, protected against breaking as much as against water getting in to douse the flame. She handed one lamp to each of us.

“They cast an invisible light, under which the stones sparkle. In the deepest depths, they are invaluable. There is a sunken ship to the east. Though the currents may have spirited away her cargo, you should begin your search there.”

Alisaie's eyes gleamed with a hint of tears. “Thank you so much. We will do just that!” The fervent gladness in her voice made my own spirits rise a little bit more. We might yet pull this mad plan off.

Yunagi made an elegant gesture, one that I understood without needing to be told. A blessing. “I hope you find that which you seek. I only wish there were something more we could do to assist you.” She smiled, and for an instant I saw Yugiri's face in that smile. “Know that you will be in my prayers.”

We turned to leave, but she held up her hand, and I waited, looking at her as Lyse and Alisaie went on through the portal and into the sea.

“And...when next you see our daughter, pray tell her not a day goes by that her parents and her brothers do not think of her.”

I didn't bother hiding the water in my eyes. “Oh, we will. We will.”

Ihanami put his arm around his wife's shoulders once more. “I would so dearly like to hear more of your adventures with my daughter─but I understand time is of the essence. Go now, and use the lamps as I told you. ...Ah! But be aware that their light only shines for short periods.”

I nodded. “We'll visit again, at least once before we have to return to our own home. I promise.”

Yunagi smiled. “May the kami speed you on your journey!”


	17. Revel in the Chaos

The ship wasn't hard to find – the reef had not yet claimed all of it, and it made a kind of negative space against the colorful flora of the seabed. We swam up to it, and circled it once, examining the way the wreck lay. “I don't think any of it's going to collapse on us,” I said, and pointed to the very thoroughly gutted hull. “And anything that was inside is definitely now outside. It looks like they blew the ship's hull to pieces.”

Alisaie shook her head. “Very well. Lyse, take this area, would you? I'll take the northwestern side.”

“Right,” Lyse nodded, and swam down to the stern of the ship, clearly ready to go over every thumb length of the wreck if she had to.

“Ready your lamp and keep your eyes open, Berylla. We're going to need to take this slowly. Move too fast and we risk overlooking something.”

I simply nodded, and swam to the eastern side of the wreck, the side closest to the underwater canyon. I could feel the colder water on this side, and tried not to think of the dark water behind me as a maw. _Even if I were to swim out over it, all I would do is float. It's just deeper water_.

I started looking.

It felt like an hour or so later when I finally spied something in the sand beneath the bow of the ship, and when I swam closer, the palm sized piece of stone flashed, an unmistakable brilliant green. I picked it up, and hefted it. Smooth and heavy and dark green now that it was not under the lamp's light...shaped like a teardrop, or perhaps a talon. I swam up and around and found Alisaie.

She was muttering to herself about needles and haystacks, and looked up at me as I approached. Her eyes were pinched with worry and strain. “You haven't found anything, have you, Berylla?”

“Think so.” I handed it to her.

Her eyes went wide. “This...this is it! The Yasakani–no–Magatama, exactly as Soroban described!”

Then, to my complete surprise, she flung her arms around my neck and kissed me on the cheek.

She let go almost immediately, her cheeks pink, and laughed a little. “It would seem that our fortunes have finally changed for the better!”

She swam over to get Lyse, and I just hung there in the water, blinking in mild confusion. She had never been particularly demonstrative – as reserved as her brother, more so, even. She must have just been that stressed over all of this. _I keep forgetting that she isn't any more used to having the weight of the world on her shoulders than Lyse is, not really_.

I told myself that the shiver in my belly was just from being happy that she was happy.

When she returned with Lyse right behind her, I was able to grin right along with the both of them. “Now, as much as I would like to return and thank Yugiri's parents for their assistance, time is of the essence. I say we make for Tamamizu at once.”

I nodded, and she held out the Magatama to me. “Hold on to it for now, Berylla. Once we arrive, present it to the elder, and then we can finally learn how to deal with the Red Kojin.”

We started swimming back towards the west.

We didn't dawdle – but we also let ourselves enjoy the swim a little bit, this time; with the blessing of the kami, we could pull tricks we would never have been able to do if we'd needed to worry about air and the pressure of water crushing us. Flips and twirls and little spirals, nothing that slowed us much – but it was nice to have fun for a little bit.

As we came in sight of the bubble over Tamamizu, Lyse chattered, “What do you think it will be? Some sort of secret weapon or elaborate plan? I can't wait to find out!”

Alisaie smiled, but her tone was a bit more serious. “We fulfilled our end of the bargain. Now it is their turn.”

We made for the low portal where we had first entered the waters, and dove through. Our feet touched down on the dry sand inside the village, all of us landing lightly as birds. I blinked, noticing now as I had not back in Sui-no-Sato that our clothes and hair were instantly dry. That fact made me grin hugely, and so it was with wide smiles that we all walked up to Bunchin and Soroban.

Soroban raised his arm in greeting. “It is good to see you again, my friends! Have you brought the Magatama?”

“We have,” Alisaie said. We all stopped in front of the two Kojin, and Alisaie bowed; Lyse and I followed suit right after. I took the smooth piece of jade out of my pouch, and presented it to Bunchin. In the dappled sunlight of the village, it gleamed softly.

Bunchin took the stone from me, and examined it with care. Then, he nodded. “Yes, there is no mistake. Well done, well done.”

“So...about the Red Kojin.” Lyse smiled. “You said there was a way to make them retreat into their shells? Are you ready to tell us now?”

Bunchin smiled. “I did indeed, and yes...I am.” He spread his hands and gestured at us all. “For you see,” he intoned, “Divinity resides not only in material vessels, but in individuals. In laying claim to this most sacred of treasures, you have demonstrated an affinity with the divine. To treat with men and women such as you is to invite fortune into our homes. Gladly will we aid your cause.” He lowered his hands, and looked over at Soroban. “All is ready, Soroban? Then give them what they require.”

With a small flourish, Soroban produced a long knife. I held out my hands, palms up and open, and he laid the sheathed blade on my palms.

It was a singularly beautiful item. The sheath was ivory – very, very old ivory to judge by the color – and every single bit of the thing was carved with scenes of battle and stylized curls and flourishes. The handle was also ivory, and wrapped in red silk cord. I glanced at Soroban, and receiving a nod of permission, I drew the arm-length blade from the sheath.

I breathed a sigh of wonder. I had seen steel like this – once before, when Gosetsu had allowed me to sit with him as he cared for his own blade. Patterns like rippling water ran across the metal, and there was a hint of blue to the steel. I slid the blade home with a sense of reverence. With care, I handed it to Alisaie, and then turned to bow to Bunchin. “A treasure, indeed.”

“A ceremonial knife of some sort?” Alisaie inquired.

“Before this blade,” Bunchin said, “that which is sealed shall open. The treasure vault of the Kojin, on the Isle of Zekki. It is there that our most prized relics, be they of the Red or the Blue, are kept safe. Fiercely do the Red guard it, for its contents are more precious than their lives.” He nodded towards the blade. “Were the vault to be attacked, their response would by necessity be immediate. Kojin would be summoned from miles around to defend their treasures.”

Alisaie regarded the knife, thoughtfully. “And were we to sow enough chaos, the Reds in service to the imperials would have no choice but to answer the call as well.”

“Giving the Confederacy the sign they've been waiting for!” Lyse clapped her hands. “Without the Kojin, the imperials don't have nearly enough troops in Isari to hold off the pirates.”

The chief raised one hand, and his tone was very solemn. “However...you must understand that the vault is holy ground: home to a thousand thousand kami. To intrude upon it without paying the proper respects is a sacrilege we cannot condone.”

“So...if we were to pay the proper respects, it would be all right? Great!” Lyse paused. “How do we do that, again?”

“The Yasakani–no–Magatama is one of three most coveted treasures of the Kojin. The other two lie within the vault. Were you to deliver the jewel unto the others, and thereby make them whole, the kami may forgive your trespass and instead delight in your...mischief-making.” There was more than a hint of humor in the chief's voice now.

“So...if I understand you correctly,” Alisaie's eyes were slightly narrowed as she spoke, “you want us to take the sacred jewel coveted by your Red brothers and deliver it to their treasure vault?”

Soroban shrugged. “More or less. The Yasakani–no–Magatama belongs on the Isle of Zekki. So long as it finds its way there, we are satisfied.” He smiled. “The Magatama has chosen you to bear it to its brothers. Had it not, you would never have found it. And we would not be having this conversation.”

All three of us blinked at him. I wasn't sure if he was serious, or if this was a bit of sophistry and jest, or...

 _Maybe it's best not to ask_.

Lyse reached the sand a minute or so before I did, and stood leaning on the big rock where we had concealed ourselves before. I half staggered as I made my way to join her. Swimming wasn't any easier when we could breathe the water, and swimming fast was, as it turned out, rather harder than sprinting...

“Well,” I panted, “at least...we aren't...captured.”

“I don't see any Kojin following us,” Lyse agreed. Then she paused, eyes scanning the water.

I looked up, trying to gauge the time of day. Beneath the water, time seemed to mean very little. We had come to Tamamizu very early in the morning – well before mid-morning we'd gained the blessing of the kami. Then we'd spent – hours, perhaps – searching for that relic...

“I think it's about tea time,” I said out loud, earning myself a glance from Lyse. I shrugged.

“Where _is_ she?” Lyse murmured, her eyes going back towards the sea.

“It's not been all that long,” I attempted, but Lyse shook her head.

“No, she should have been right behind us. She's so much faster at swimming than you and me...”

I doubted that, but I could see that Lyse was not going to listen to me.

Sure enough, she turned towards me. “Wait here. I'm going back for her.”

I shook my head. “She stayed behind so we could escape.”

“She stayed behind so that _you_ could escape,” Lyse snapped. “Even I know that. So that _you_ could escape, not me.” Her fists clenched. “And that was a mistake─I should've been the one to stay behind, not her. So I've got to go back. If we lose her...I'll never forgive myself.”

I reached for her, grabbing the back of her neck and pulling her just close enough to lean my head against hers. “Hey. Don't. Don't believe this is your fault, it's not.”

She sniffled and set her hands on my shoulders, gripping hard for a moment. “I was the one who dragged you all into this. It was my fight, not yours. I knew that from the start, but I also knew I couldn't do it alone.” Then, she pushed me gently away. “I've asked too much and let too much happen to you all. I have to make this right─and I have to do it on my own. So let me go, please. I'm asking you as a friend. I have to help her!”

Before I could say a word, a voice spoke from the water.

“You can start by finding me a towel and some bandages.”

Lyse spun around, and we saw Alisaie staggering the last few feet to get out of the water. Cuts marked her legs and there was a shallow slice oozing blood down her left cheek, and she was out of breath and clearly in a bit of pain. But she was otherwise intact.

“Alisaie!” Lyse ran the six steps or so to get to the Elezen, then stopped short, ankle deep in the surf.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Alisaie brushed at her cheek and winced. “I said I was going to distract them, not make a heroic and ultimately futile last stand. Who does that, anyway?”

Lyse wrapped her arms around the other girl, folding her in a tight hug. Alisaie spluttered, her arms pinned to her sides and her hands fluttering. The Elezen's face was quite pink.

“For the love of─ This is stupid! You're embarrassing yourself! And me!”

Alisaie's eyes went to mine, her expression pleading with me to help her, but I just shook my head, laughing quietly, and came over to the two of them.

“Shut up and let me have this,” Lyse muttered. I set my hand on her shoulder, even as Alisaie lifted her hands to awkwardly pat at the arms that held her.

Her blush only deepened when I set my hand over one of hers. “I think she's glad you made it, Alisaie,” I chuckled.

Fortunately for Alisaie's composure, Lyse let her go, and I stepped back to let the younger girl have some space. Alisaie brushed at her clothes, looking anywhere but at the two of us.

Lyse took a deep breath and let it out in a whoosh. “Now. We need to get back to Isari – let's hurry!”

She turned and started jogging away up the beach, back towards the big rock, and then she was out of sight.

I walked back out of the water, Alisaie beside me – not hurrying really. I was tired, and I didn't know how Lyse had enough energy to jog right now...

“They didn't follow you, did they? I gave you enough time to escape?” Alisaie's voice was soft. I glanced over at her, and saw her giving me a faintly worried look. It was an expression I had not seen from her in months and months; a _vulnerable_ expression.

Ever since Ga Bu, she'd been constantly on the defensive in a way – as if by being louder, more reckless, she could ward off any further emotional pain...as if she could scare it off with enough bravado. Or maybe it had only been that she feared slowing down – that like me, she didn't want to have too much time to think. Sometimes it had felt like she was a different person entirely from when the two of us had delved into the Coils, beneath the earth.

But now...this was the girl I remembered, the warm and caring young woman who had been determined to forge her own path in the world. Who had taken the time to visit a stricken young kobold for weeks after his injury. I had a funny feeling in my chest for a moment.

I smiled slightly. “There wasn't anyone on our trail. I think maybe Lyse half expected you to beat us to the beach.” I managed a small laugh, and pushed down the odd tightness in my throat. “Maybe she's still a bit sore about you outpacing her in our little race back to Tamamizu.”

Alisaie grinned, and her shoulders loosened a bit. “Well then.” She shook her bangs out of her eyes. “It's good to hear my selfless act of heroism achieved the desired effect. You needn't worry, by the way─I'm not intending to make a habit of this.”

The wry humor in her words made me laugh out loud, and so it was with a smile on my face that I came into sight of Isari once more.


	18. Low Tide

The villagers were very tired after the ordeals they had weathered, but they were also intensely grateful, and nothing would do but that they prepare a celebratory feast – or what they could manage of one. The Confederacy pirates had protested, in a token way, and then some sort of polite arguing had taken place – I hadn't quite followed the twists and turns of it all. But, now, the Confederacy men worked right alongside the villagers, and it was very busy and pleasantly noisy all along the beach.

But I had a call to make.

I had to walk a ways off down the shore to find a quiet spot. I found a reasonably flat rock to sit on, and perched there. I was itchy from salt and sweat, and fairly tired after all the swimming and fighting and then more swimming. But, I had been in far worse condition and more than once – and I needed to report in, after all.

My leg jiggled a little as I thumbed on the link-pearl.

It only chimed twice before the other end picked up.

I said the code-phrase, and heard a small sigh on the other end. A sigh of relief.

“What news?” Alphinaud's voice was steady, professional, and I tried to match him.

I told him everything that had happened. Our arrangement with the Confederacy that meant we could come and go freely; Gosetsu's capture and our subsequent scramble to clear the Imperials out of Isari. I could hear a pen scratching and knew he was taking notes. He snorted when I told him about Alisaie's little “wager,” but didn't comment otherwise until I had finished explaining our battle with Susano.

“So the primal summoned _itself?_ I did not think it possible...”

“Yeah, that's more or less what we said. Alisaie had some kind of theory about it, but we were a little busy at the time.”

“I can well imagine. And you are all unharmed?”

“As much as can be expected. Gosetsu's getting seen to now, I expect. Lyse had a look at him, I didn't, but she says his injuries aren't bad. Alisaie's got some cuts and such but...well, you know. She's _Alisaie_.”

“Indeed.” There was a moment of silence. “It is good to hear your voice again.”

“...likewise,” I managed. I rubbed at my cheek, trying to stop blushing and grinning. _You're an idiot, Berylla_. “How are things there? Quiet, I hope.”

“We have been working to establish our lines of communication.” His voice turned a little grudging. “Hancock has been as good as his word, and we have access to the same sorts of messengers and so forth that he does, as well as his information network. I have had word from the Alliance leaders, and...”

“What? Is something wrong?”

“Berylla...I...I am sorry, but I found some papers of yours. I didn't read them,” he added, and I could hear the concern in his voice.

“I thought I got rid of those...um.” I swallowed. _All those messed up letters. Gods_.

“I will burn them if you wish, but I did not like to do so without asking you first.”

“I...yes. Please. They're not important.”

“There was a personal letter for you, as well. From Ishgard.”

“...oh.” I felt as if my heart had teleported right out of my body. There was a hollow feeling, a painful thump in my chest, and my stomach flipped over. “Um, okay.”

He was quiet for so long that I wondered if he had disconnected. Then, very softly, “What is the trouble between you and Aymeric, Berylla?”

My breath escaped me, and I made a ragged sound, not a sob and not a sigh. “I...Alphinaud, I can't. I'm...not ready to talk about it.”

“As you wish.” Another long silence. “I suppose,” he sighed, “that over a link-pearl is also not the best way to discuss such matters.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“Whatever for?”

“For understanding. And for, for worrying about me.”

“ _Someone_ needs to worry about you. I...” There was a sound from his end, a faint chime. “Drat. I am about to be called away...is there anything else?” he asked.

“No. Not yet anyway. We're just resting for now, until Gosetsu is recovered.” I half smiled. “He wanted to leave tonight, but the healers are arguing with him.”

“Then I shall await your next report. And...take care.”

“I will.” I thumbed the link-pearl off, before I could get any more awkward.

Subdued as the crowd was – plenty of folks were wounded and many were exhausted too – there was still a very glad air to the gathering. Whatever they were cooking, it smelled divine, and not just because I was starving. I could see Hirase gesticulating, and gathered that it wouldn't be long before everything was ready.

I sat outside the village tavern, nursing a small cup of the local brew – it was only ever served in small cups, it seemed. The tavern itself had become a kind of infirmary and minor headquarters, and it was plenty crowded in there without adding myself to the crush. Besides, I wasn't injured – not the way the folks inside were.

I heard a booming voice from an upper room, and smiled a little. I couldn't make out the words, but the indignant tone was very clear. The Confederacy had their own healers, folk who were quite familiar with warriors who would not exhibit sense, and rest when told to do so – they had collared Alisaie immediately and dragged her off, too. I expected they'd dose Gosetsu to make him rest the night, at the least. Maybe longer.

The doors opened, and a couple of pirates came out – and on their heels, Lyse and Alisaie.

“I _told_ you I was fine,” Alisaie was grumbling as they came over to where I sat. She sported bandages now, and looked far more tired than she probably wanted to admit. Lyse on the other hand didn't even try to hide the weary slump to her shoulders.

“I never said you weren't,” Lyse answered Alisaie, flopping down onto the bench across from me. “At least the healers didn't dose you, too.”

I finished my drink, grinning into my cup. “So,” I said as I set the cup down, “we're here for the night?”

“If the sedative is as strong as that healer claims,” Alisaie's mouth twisted a little in doubt, “possibly tonight _and_ the next. I thought we were in something of a hurry...”

“We can hardly go on without Gosetsu,” I shrugged. Then I turned my eyes to Lyse, my smile fading. “How bad was it? The Imperials had him for almost two days...”

She'd seen some of the victims of Imperial “detainment” in the past – I knew Alisaie hadn't yet encountered that particular unpleasantness. She had heard stories, certainly, but not personally healed someone or helped them afterwards.

Lyse shook her head. “Not as bad as it could have been,” she said, but she took up a cup and filled it with brew and knocked half of it back, her eyes watering from the strong taste. “They hadn't started on breaking bones yet. Lots of bruises, and...” Her eyes cut to Alisaie for a moment and she hesitated before going on. “And a lot of burns. Apparently the viceroy enjoys the personal touch, on occasion.”

I remembered the long, elegant pipe the woman had carried, and shuddered. “I am glad he has relatively minor injuries, then. Is he...?”

Alisaie snorted. “If they hadn't dosed him, he was going to head out for Doma before nightfall. To hear _him_ talk, he might as well have been just sitting in a cell cooling his heels, not being tortured for hours.”

That made me smile again. I could well imagine the vigorous warrior saying exactly that. “I heard some yelling,” I ventured.

“He didn't believe her when she said she'd sit on him,” and now Lyse grinned. “I've never been privileged to see a healer actually sit on a patient and feed him a potion by force. It was...enlightening.”

I remembered then that Lyse had studied some of the fighting arts of Doma, as well as her native land's style of unarmed combat. She had a light in her eye that told me she was planning to find at least one person who would teach her more.

Before we could talk more, there were happy shouts from the beach, and one of the young men from the village came up to us. “Food's ready – no ceremony, o' course – ”

I didn't need encouragement. Alisaie hadn't even sat down, and she was right at my elbow as I hurried down to the sand. Lyse finished her drink and followed us, chuckling.

“I am very sorry, but there just aren't enough beds for you,” the old man told us, his head bent. I was hardly surprised – even with the majority of the Confederacy people going back to their own island after the impromptu feast, this place just wasn't made for hosting visitors, and the few beds in the tavern were already taken by wounded people, who needed them.

I shrugged and reassured the old man, “We'll be perfectly fine sleeping out under the stars. There's no weather expected tonight, and it isn't even cold. I've slept rougher.”

“It's very kind of you to worry for us,” Lyse put in.

The old fellow smiled at her, and bowed deeply. “Well then, there is nothing more for me to say for now.”

We watched him limp off to his own hut, and when he was out of sight, I stretched slowly.

Dropping my arms, I looked at Lyse. “Let's pick out a spot, I suppose.”

Alisaie was frowning a little. “Berylla, you surely don't mean to actually sleep on the bare ground?”

“What, too good to sleep like us poor adventurer types?” I teased. To my surprise she colored up, her blush strong enough that even in the fading light it was obvious.

“No! No, that's not – ”

“Hey, it's fine, I was only teasing, Alisaie. Calm down.” I cocked my head. “Lyse and I both brought our usual packs with us. So long as we have our bedrolls, doesn't matter much where we sleep.”

Alisaie's face was a study in embarrassment.

“You've never camped rough, have you?” Lyse asked suddenly.

The young woman didn't answer, just looked away from us both. I couldn't hide my grin, but I patted Alisaie's shoulder. “We've lived out of our packs for a long time, and you haven't had to do that,” I told her. “It's all right.”

“I suppose you're right. Living on the road is not new to me, but...”

“On the road with a caravan is definitely not the same as camping alone out in the howling wilderness.” Lyse smiled. “Fortunately we're not in the howling wilderness! Come on, I saw a spot that might do all right for one night.”

We followed her, and found ourselves at a rather nice little nook of sorts, a place formed by the way the buildings backed against the tall yellow cliffs that formed the boundary of the whole shoreline here. Long beach grass grew here, still summer-green and soft; the soil beneath was mostly sand, making a very good place to lay a bedroll. The nearby building – a shed, from what I could tell; we wouldn't be disturbing anyone's peace and quiet – blocked the sea breeze enough to keep us from getting chilly. The sun had fully set and the world was wrapped in shades of blue fading into gray.

Alisaie laid out her own bedroll quickly, as if to prove she wasn't hesitant. Lyse exchanged a quick, amused glance with me, but both of us kept quiet. It was obvious, to me at least, that Alisaie was feeling prickly as much because of exhaustion as embarrassment.

“We'll see how Gosetsu is in the morning,” Lyse said, as we all removed our shoes and the bulkier bits of armor. In _her_ case, that meant just her boots, and I was briefly jealous of her as I fought with the strap of my shoulder armor, which had gotten a bit salt-crusted after all our immersions.

Alisaie leaned over and tugged, and the strap finally loosened.

“Thanks.”

“Don't mention it.”

I was the last one to lie down, and I noticed as I did so that Alisaie was already nearly asleep, bearing out my guess as to just how tired she _really_ was.

“I should contact Alphinaud tomorrow,” she said, yawning. “Since we won't be getting started all that early.”

“Oh. Um.” I shifted onto my side to peer at her through the dimness. “Probably should've said something before but I um...I talked to him while you were getting patched up.”

“Oh.” The sour note to her voice made me wince a little.

“We didn't exactly discuss communication, so...I didn't know you intended to take that on by yourself or anything.”

“Any news on their end?” Lyse asked. “Not that I expect any so soon.”

“They're in contact with folks back home,” I answered. “I didn't think to ask just who, but I guess it's Raubahn who we'll report to, if we report at all.”

“Makes sense to me,” Lyse said, and then yawned, which made _me_ yawn. “Let's get some sleep then.”

“See you in the mornin',” I answered, yawning one more time.

Blood in the sand.

Blood everywhere – _no – no, this wasn't how it happened. There wasn't this much blood at the Reach_ –

The horrific mask of the Crown Prince's armor loomed over me. I struggled, twisting, cold rising in my middle. Red at the edge of my vision – I glanced down and my breath whooshed out of me. I could see my own insides. My hands were covered with blood, the green and yellow uniform was soaked with it, and the man with the sword was coming closer and closer.

But I had a sword too. I lurched forward, stabbing towards that leering skull-like mask. I screamed as I moved, a scream born as much from rage as agony.

Zenos swatted my sword aside, and laughed. “You have spirit. I shall grant you a boon.” The sword rose. “A swift and painless death.”

Smoke blew across my vision and his helmet vanished. Blue eyes looked down at me, a face I knew stared grimly back as I gasped. Aymeric's face.

_**No no no no no** _

My eyes popped open.

I was breathing fast, my body quivering in reaction. Another nightmare. _Twelve preserve me, why am I still having these dreams? Why do they feel so_ _ **real?**_ _Am I going mad?_

I covered my mouth with my blanket, trying to muffle my tears. I didn't want to wake the others. How would I explain, anyway? “Oh it's nothing, just dreaming about being killed again.” _I can't fucking explain this to myself, I don't even want to try talking about it to someone else_.

And so I lay there, hiding my face, trying to stop crying, and hoping no one would hear me.


	19. A Piece of Quiet

Alisaie had to shake me awake in the morning. I tried to shrug off my weariness, mumbling something about the hard ground, but judging by the look she gave me, I was not terribly successful. Still, she did not press me about it, and I was able to escape her keen gaze and go grab some food.

Onigiri – but this time a little different – and I perked up very quickly as I understood that what I'd eaten yesterday with the Confederacy folks was a general type of dish. That meant _variations!_

The villager who was feeding us gave me an astonished look, however, when I asked her to teach me about making rice balls.

“How can you not know?”

I shrugged. “Where I'm from, rice isn't what we use, not the way your people do. With us, it's mostly wheat and the like.” I tried to imitate Tataru's “puppy dog” expression. “I'd really love to learn, if you have the time to teach me?”

She looked agitated. I cocked my head, and tried a different tactic.

“What if I were to bring you some fresh fish for tonight's supper? And then I can be a pair of hands to help make the food, if you'll let me...?”

Something about that seemed to decide her. She nodded, once. “Very well. Since you insist.” She paused, and then rattled off a list at me. I was glad that I'd learned some of the local sea lore already, just from listening to Hirase chatter. The old woman looked surprised once more when I didn't even turn a hair, just accepted her list without a word.

“If you do not return with all these by mid afternoon,” she warned, “there will be no lesson. And no supper.”

I grinned. “A dire threat indeed. Don't worry, I'll have all of it for you!” I bowed to her, which seemed to surprise her even more than the rest of my behavior, and headed off to the pier.

Alisaie caught up to me just as my boots hit the boards. “What on earth are you up to?”

“Going to do a spot of fishing,” I answered, and waved at one of the fisher-folk. The man cocked his head at me, and I rapidly told him what I needed.

“So, I have most everything except bait,” I finished, “and some idea of where I ought to go for the best kelp.”

He grinned hugely. “An _ijin_ , harvesting kelp. I have lived to see everything.” He laughed; then he pointed to a jar a few feet away. It was a very large jar – as tall as my waist, and as big around as a person. “Bait is simple, it is there. Take only a handful, you will not need much.” He turned around, and pointed again, off to the northwest. “Kelp, over there – those beds have not been harvested in weeks, because of the Garleans. You should have no trouble getting some, even untutored as you are.”

Alisaie frowned at his words, but I just laughed. “Untutored I may be, but I promise you I've got enthusiasm to make up for it! Thank you very much for the information. Good fishing!”

He seemed very pleased, and waved at me once before walking off to join his fellows. The boats headed out on the tide, and I went over to the huge jar.

Alisaie tagged along, still frowning a little. “Even after what we did for them, they just see us as little girls, don't they...”

I opened the lid.

She stopped talking, and the noise that came from her was one I hadn't heard since the last time I was in Limsa's cheapest tavern.

I glanced over to make sure she hadn't actually lost her breakfast.

Her hand was over her mouth and she was backing away, and I half smiled. I didn't entirely blame her – the wriggly things in the jar were hardly anyone's idea of appealing, at least not still alive. But they were exactly what I needed, and I filled a small pouch with the live shrimp.

She eyed me as I replaced the lid. “Are you truly going to spend your day...handling bugs?”

“You don't have to do the same, you know.” I returned to the beach, and started hauling out the rest of the things I'd need for a morning of relatively serious fishing.

She hung about for a few more minutes, but by the time I was finished checking over my fishing rod (it had been in its aetherial storage for months after all), she was gone. I didn't worry about it – she was a big girl, she hardly needed me to supervise her free time.

Whistling a little bit, I headed off.

I came back as the sun was just beginning to start its slow progress down into the western sky. I was a bit itchy, a bit salt-crusted, and a little stinky, but I was very pleased with myself.

When I set down my burdens in the tavern's kitchen, the old woman regarded me with wide eyes.

“Hope this is enough.” I grinned, absolutely tickled pink by the way she stared. I'd brought back four baskets full of fish, plus two baskets of the kelp, which had been very luxuriant indeed. I would never have been able to haul it all back without some of the nicer features of my new backpack, but I wasn't about to tell my erstwhile tutor that.

“It is...ah...it is sufficient. Yes.” She blinked, and remembered herself. She bowed to me. “Thank you, very much.”

I bowed back, a deeper bow than she'd given me, and then said, “Thank you for agreeing to teach me.”

When I straightened, a real smile stretched her lips.

Then, we got started.

“The very first thing is the rice. Here is the salt...rub this all over your hands. Yes, like that...now watch.”

I settled in, paying sharp attention, feeling more like _myself_ than I had in a long while.

Gosetsu was feeling much better by evening, and most of the Confederacy folk had gone on home. The village was quiet, and so was our meal. The healer had left a bottle of something for the big samurai to take after eating. He had sighed and nodded, and then tried to “lose” the bottle immediately.

It was prominently in the middle of the table. I didn't pay any mind to the occasional dark looks he kept shooting my way.

Still, whatever annoyance he might have felt because I was making sure he took his dose – he was cheerful otherwise, and his praise was eloquent.

“You did well, Berylla. Were it not for the tremendous strength and bravery of you and yours, many innocent souls would have suffered terrible fates. Though I knew the Confederacy would be loath to meet the imperials in battle, I also knew that if any could win them over, it would be you.” He poured another cup full of sake for me, and some for himself, and toasted me. “Truly, yours is a heroic spirit that inspires men to rise above their circumstances─to strive for something greater! It will be an honor to travel with you again.”

I was aware that my cheeks were red. I pretended it was just the sake.

“We'll be ready to go in the morning,” I told him. “No reason to delay further, but I don't fancy walking into an area I don't know while it's dark.”

He grunted, but the sake seemed to have taken the edge off his urgency to keep traveling.

I set my hand over his cup before he poured another round, and set the medicine in front of him. “This first,” I told him, “then one more toast. Then bed. I can't keep up with you if I don't sleep.”

That made him laugh, and he drank off the medicine without further glaring.

“Still awake, Berylla?”

I gestured to the pitcher of water beside me and went back to sharpening my axe. “I'll go to bed when I've finished that off.”

Lyse and Gosetsu were inside already, and I could hear snores. The sea wind was nice, and the stars were out, and I was just about done with my axe. The water would keep me from waking up with a huge headache.

Alisaie sat down at the other end of the bench from me and watched as I ran the whetstone along the edge a few more times, then set that aside and proceeded to clean and polish up the blade. She leaned her head on her hand, idly toying with her braid, her eyes dark in the shadows cast across her face by the small lantern beside me.

“Got something on your mind?” I asked, not looking directly at her.

“I do, actually. My brother.”

“Oh?” I held the axe up and sighted along its planes for a moment. “Missing him?”

“Are you?”

I set the axe down in my lap and met her gaze. “Now what kind of question is that? He's my friend, and...”

“Is that really all you are? Friends?”

I started packing up my stone and oil and other little items that I used to care for my weapon. “Why do you sound so pissed off, Alisaie?”

She blew out a breath, and sat up straight. She crossed her legs...then crossed her arms. “I'm not upset.”

I closed up the case for the whetstone, and put it back in my pack. “Right.”

“He was the one who was upset, you know. When we decided he should stay in Kugane.”

“You decided, the rest of us just didn't argue.”

“It seemed the wisest course at the time.”

“Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but it doesn't matter now. So what's actually bothering you?”

A long moment of silence, as I put up my axe and drank the rest of my water.

“Are you still upset that I called you on your bullshit?” I asked, as I set down the empty pitcher.

She flinched. “From my point of view, distrust of pirates is not...” She sighed. “Yes, I admit that it still stings. And it feels like you would never have said such a thing to Alphinaud.”

“Alphinaud wouldn't have been making judgment calls like you were doing.” I thought about it. “Well, not about pirates anyway.”

“My brother isn't perfect.”

I laughed, and she seemed surprised. “No one's perfect. Alisaie, are you somehow jealous of him?” Then I saw the look on her face, and realized I'd hit home. “What the fuck _for?!?_ ”

She looked away, cheeks pink, and didn't answer. But I caught how her eyes slid back to me.

 _Oh. Ohh_.

I stood up and took the two steps I needed to stand in front of her. She craned her neck up at me, until I bent down and put my arms around her. My hug picked her up off the bench. She squawked for a moment, but then she set her feet on the ground again and steadied herself. Her arms went round my waist and she hugged back, hard.

“You're no less my friend than Alphinaud is,” I said quietly. “I can understand you don't want to make a big deal of it, but for fuck's sake just _ask_ me for a hug if you need one. Okay?”

She pressed her face hard into my shoulder and her voice was muffled. “Okay.”

Days of going all-out caught up with me finally, and I slept like the dead. But when I did finally manage to wake up, with Lyse shaking my shoulder, I felt a hell of a lot better than I had been doing.

I stretched, and felt that all my own injuries had finished healing. I was grateful again for the various blessings of Hydaelyn.

Gosetsu was already up and raring to get moving, and with regret I agreed to take our breakfast with us rather than sitting down. He did, at least, let me hand around the food before striding off.

“There is a tunnel to the southwest. We need but follow it to reach our destination. With me!”

There was, indeed, a tunnel – it might have started out some kind of channel carved out by wind and water, but it was obvious that the hands of men had widened it, smoothed and shaped it, and though it was hardly “finished,” there was a familiarity to the way the butter-colored rock had been worked. It took me a moment to realize that it reminded me of Limsa.

But the land on the other side was nothing like any place I had ever been.

We stood for a moment on the height, for the road led down almost immediately into a broad valley. I could see a wooden structure not too far from the road; the woodpile beside it – not to mention the stumps surrounding it – told me what it was without needing to ask. There were enormous rocks – somehow carved by massive natural forces – and growing out of the sides of the sandstone pillars, gnarled pines. A narrow stream ran near the road – or maybe it was more accurate to say that the road paralleled the stream.

The valley seemed peaceful. Quiet.

A little too quiet. I had seen my share of farms – and even though I had never seen farms quite like these, flooded little patches with tender green plants rising vigorously from the shallow water – a farm is still a farm. It's morning, there should be livestock hollering to get fed. Kids running around playing or doing chores, people in the fields working and weeding and so forth.

There was only silence, a silence so complete that I could clearly hear the stream even though it was fifty feet away.

Lyse spoke first. “This place, I...I don't know what I expected.”

Alisaie surveyed the valley, her eyes troubled. “There's a weariness. A desolation. An emptiness...”

Not even the birds that I could see in the stubborn pines seemed willing to sing.

Gosetsu led us to a tree near the roadside, and then stopped. He glanced around and gave a little shrug. “Hmm... Yes, this is far enough.” He turned to face us. “Ere we proceed further, I should speak of Yanxia and what became of her. Of what lies beyond that great wall at the heart of Doma.”

“And we should be glad to hear it,” Alisaie frowned, “but is it wise for us to have this conversation here, on the road, out in the open?”

For the first time since we'd met, Gosetsu looked sad. “Once, your caution would be warranted...but no longer.” He looked out over the land, arms crossed. “Zenos did not linger after he crushed the rebellion. He appointed Yotsuyu to act in his stead and quit these lands for “fresh sport.” The acting viceroy was no less merciless than her master. Without warning, her men would march into villages and search for “radical elements,” killing and torturing any who dared resist. And then, as quickly as they had come, they left. Satisfied that the memory of the purges would keep the people in line, she relaxed her grip on Yanxia.” He sighed deeply. “What need for the leash when the dog is broken?”

He gestured, and I followed his motion to see that the road led to a small grouping of buildings. “The village of Namai lies to the west,” he said to me. “Though I doubt the imperials are present, let us proceed with caution. Berylla─venture closer, if you would, and confirm that there are no soldiers lurking about.”

I nodded, and without speaking, started down the dirt road.

I approached the village alone, watching for trouble, and listening to the silence.

I couldn't imagine what on earth had formed the fantastic looking shapes of this place, but I could clearly see that a lot of ingenuity – and time – had gone into making every foot of land usable. Nothing was wasted, even the “wild” plants at the edge of the road were obviously left there on purpose; the distribution was too even, the growth too lush, to be actual weeds.

I came toward the village, noticing how there were rock bridges – natural formations that had, like the tunnel to Isari, been shaped by human hands. And, at last, I saw the people.

Back in Limsa, when I was still just Berylla – not even a Scion, just a mercenary with an axe – I had taken part in an operation to break up a slaving ring. Nasty business, it had been. The bastards were dealing in children, and had had the balls to use a fake orphanage as their front...I was just as glad I had no other details beyond that. The kids that we'd pulled out of that hellish situation had never really recovered. Even months later, they had still walked hunched up a little, startling at shadows, shyer than wild animals. They had been beaten again and again, to the point that they no longer argued with anyone: their spirits too close to breaking.

The villagers of Namai saw me coming, and the way they regarded me – the way they avoided my gaze – reminded me strongly of those hurt and terrified children.

I gazed around, seeing the aetheryte, and managed to get the attention of one man. I convinced him I was a simple traveler, and persuaded him to part with a little bit of food for my coin. He did not, however, part his lips for anything more than the necessities for our bargain. No news, not even his name, and even as he thanked me, he did not meet my eyes.

My Echo triggered as his hand brushed mine in taking my money, and though it was but a very fast, fleeting glimpse, it was more than enough to name the horrors that had transpired here.

I felt sick, heading back out to the road, as I understood what I had seen, was seeing.

The man I had bought from had been no older than myself. There were no old women gossiping, no old men sitting in the sun and dreaming.

No children.

No couples – courting or otherwise.

The Imperials had stripped Gyr Abania of its material wealth, scouring the hills until even the quarries could give no more. Everyone was going hungry, but they knew if they just stayed quiet, their children would live.

But here...here there was food in plenty, storehouses filled with rice, barrels stuffed with fruits. The farms were clearly not struggling.

But there were no _children_.

If Gyr Abania had been enslaved...Doma had been raped.


	20. Sharper Silence

The young man – Isse, as he had named himself – stalked away from us, with Gosetsu staring after him, mouth open in true shock.

I shuddered all over, struggling to contain my anger. I wanted to go hunt down and utterly destroy every Imperial bastard I could get my hands on. For an instant my mind conjured up a fantasy of wading through them, my axe dripping with gore, leaving piles of broken and bleeding bodies behind me as those in front of me ran screaming.

I shook myself, hard. _No. That's not going to work. They tried it once already...and this was the result._

Gosetsu harrumphed, and then turned back to us with a small shake of his head.

“Impassioned as his pleas may be, surely he must know that I cannot leave things as they are.

But for now, I shall respect his wishes. We must continue on towards our final destination─the House of the Fierce. Proud headquarters of the Doman Liberation Front.” His smile was back, though I thought it looked a little less confident than it had when we set out. “There is a secret entrance to the north of Namai, by way of a small spring. Come─I will show you!”

We followed him down along a lower path, and Alisaie murmured to me, “And there I was thinking our swimming days were behind us.”

I managed a small laugh.

The House of the Fierce was a cave.

Well, a network of caves. I had the impression that this whole area was riddled with such caves, to the point that the Imperials could never explore them all even with the manpower they could field. It was the only thing that explained why the place still existed.

But for all of that, they were quite the most comfortable caves I had ever been in – dry, ventilated somehow, and with all the amenities any good fortress boasted.

Best of all – Yugiri was there.

She and Gosetsu had spoken at length, and there had been the obligatory tour of the place, but finally I was able to just talk to her for a moment.

I ventured to set my hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. “I'm really glad to see you again, Yugiri.”

She smiled and patted my arm. “And I, you, my friend. It has not been easy...but perhaps that will change now.” She glanced aside, and I saw that someone was signaling to her. She smiled once more, and told me, “Though our resources are limited, our stronghold is secure. You may rest and recover here in safety.”

I let her go, and wandered back into the larger chamber, where what was left of an aetheryte lay in pieces. Alisaie was standing, arms crossed, clearly thinking. She looked up as I approached her.

“As you can see, they went to great lengths to disable the aetheryte. Apparently, in the twilight days of the rebellion, they feared that Zenos would be willing to risk sending unattuned conscripts.”

She returned her gaze to the broken pieces on the ground; she sounded like she was thinking out loud. “That said, it is hardly irreversible. They have the necessary materials. It would be a challenge to repair it alone, but perhaps with my brother's help...” She sighed, and swiped at her bangs. “Moenbryda could have done it with her eyes closed. What little Alphinaud and I know of aetheryte technology, we learned from her when she came to visit Grandfather.”

I nodded. “So when are you going to call him?”

She frowned up at me. “I didn't say anything about _that_.”

“Okay,” I said, keeping my face straight, “when am _I_ calling him, then?”

She spluttered, cheeks pink, and shoved at my arm when I laughed.

The one thing the House of the Fierce did _not_ have, to my disappointment, was some way to bathe.

They did have the ability to handle the cleaning and mending of our gear, which badly needed attention after days of immersion in seawater. But nothing beyond a sketchy sort of wash was possible for our bodies. I was about to resign myself to enduring another night of itching in my sleep, when Lyse walked up, a small sack in one hand and a big grin on her face.

“What?”

“Come on.”

“What, where are you going?”

“You'll see when we get there, come on.”

“Lyse – ”

“No questions. Come with me.”

Curious and exasperated in equal measure, I followed her.

“What about Alisaie?”

“Oh,” Lyse waved her hand, “she said she was busy.”

The spot was very pretty – high up like this, the damp air from the odd fields seemed to fall away, and there was a gentle but steady breeze that swept downhill. The little spring fed pool drained over an equally small waterfall that whispered over stone and under smooth wood. Obviously, this was a place meant for a bit of relaxation – and privacy.

“Strip.”

“Huh?” I glanced over at her in surprise, and saw she was already removing her boots.

She laughed at me. “The look on your face. We can get a bit of a wash, up here. I don't intend to get my clothes wet, not this time.”

I felt my cheeks warm up, but managed to shrug, and sat down to take off my own boots.

Bare, the two of us waded into the pool. It was only deep enough to cover Lyse's breasts when we were sitting down – meaning my own breasts were high and dry – but the clean cool water felt _heavenly_.

Lyse had her hair down, and let her head fall back to get all of it good and wet. “Gods, it's good to rinse the salt off, you know?”

I nodded. She was right. For all the nifty magic of the blessing we'd been given at Tamamizu, being dry didn't get the salt out of your hair.

Lyse stretched and then reached for something at the edge of the pool. I turned my head and saw her picking up what looked like a piece of oddly colored sponge.

“Come here,” she said to me. “Turn your back, I'll scrub you first; and then you can get my back.”

“The heck is that?” I asked, even as I was moving around to present my back to her.

“Apparently the locals have something that acts like soap and cloth all together. It can't hurt, probably.”

I sighed as she started to scrub my back. There were sea-plants that grew in the warm waters off Costa del Sol; pieces of them could be harvested and dried and made for excellent, rough textured bath sponges. This thing was less rough than a luffa but...

“ _Gods_ , that's good.” I couldn't help how sensual my groan sounded, but the relief was...

She laughed a little. “Here, if you lean back just – so – yeah, I can get your hair with this too.”

“You're a gods-damned miracle, Lyse.” I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy her ministrations.

She scrubbed at my hair a bit, then changed to using her fingers, massaging along my scalp and then working her way through my hair. I practically purred.

Magically “refreshing” the water on board the _Misery_ had gone a long way to helping us all feel cleaner, but magic could only do so much. I hadn't gotten any sort of bath back in the city, and of course while we'd been out among the islands...

The sheer pleasure of feeling the grime and filth wash away made my skin tingle.

“There,” she murmured. “It's all rinsed off, now.”

I sat up, slowly, and turned to face her, sitting cross-legged. “Okay, your turn – ”

Her mouth met mine as her arms curled around my neck. Damp as we were, our breasts slid against each other more than rubbed, but my skin was already sensitive. My hands rested on her back as I returned her kiss, hesitant, uncertain.

“Um, Lyse...?”

“What?” She nibbled my lower lip. “I know you're horny too.”

“Yeah, but I – hey, wait, what?”

“I saw you. The night we were with the pirates.”

“You _what?!_ ”

She giggled at the way I yelped. “You went outside, and I woke up when you closed the door. I followed you – making sure you were okay, you know? I heard from Alisaie how you've been having nightmares.” She trailed one hand down to cup my breast, her thumb circling my nipple. I tensed, arching into the touch in spite of myself. “I saw what you did.”

“Oh gods.” I felt like my face was in fire. “Lyse, I – ”

Her mouth on mine was sweet, insistent, warm, _hungry_.

“I need it too,” she whispered. “You can scratch my itch, and I can scratch yours. No reason not to, right?”

My hands drifted down her back and cupped her ass cheeks, and she wrapped her legs around me, settling in my lap.

“Are you and Alphinaud exclusive...?”

“I – how do you – no we aren't but – dammit, Lyse, does _everyone_ know my business?”

“Course not.” Her blue eyes twinkled.

I frowned. _So much for being discreet, I guess_.

“Look, I'm hardly going to insist, if you're really not willing. For whatever reason.” She started to shift away.

My hands tightened on her. “I didn't say I wasn't _willing_ , I just...ah, fucking hells.” I gave in, and set one hand in her hair, tugging her back to me.

I kissed her deeply, and moaned as her hands roamed across my back. When I lowered my head, kissing her collarbone, she leaned back, letting her hands rest on my shoulders. I spread my hand to support her back and tipped her just enough to give me access to her breasts.

She hissed and pressed into me, her hips rolling. “Good,” she crooned. “Gods, it's been too long.”

“How long for you?” I murmured, as I shifted my attentions to her other nipple.

“Since the Reach.”

I looked up at the wobble in her voice, but she didn't explain or even let me ask. Instead, she kissed me hard, and something in the way her body yearned against mine told me what she didn't say out loud.

Neither one of us wanted to _think_. Not now.

I shifted her just a little, so that I could use my other hand to cup her sex. She wriggled, working with me, until she was somewhat riding my thigh; my hand was braced against my leg, and my fingers were positioned perfectly to –

“ _Fuck!_ ” Lyse dropped her head to my shoulder for a moment, tensing and shuddering. “Ohhh Berylla that's fucking good.”

I hummed a little, my lips pressed to her hair, and let her get comfortable, my hand on her back gently stroking, reassuring. After a little, she lifted her head, and kissed me again.

I leaned her back, little by little, and whispered, “You call the pace, Lyse. Ride my fingers, honey...I've got you.”

She shuddered with pleasure and let her head fall back. As I pressed light kisses to her jaw and her throat and down to her breasts, I felt her begin to bounce. Her thighs tensed and relaxed, tensed and relaxed, and I could feel her heat on my hand.

I flickered my tongue across her dusky-pink nipple, and felt her walls ripple in reaction. Her hands were on my shoulders, fingers kneading in time with the rhythm of her hips.

It didn't take long before she was riding my fingers hard, and as she pumped harder on my leg, she tightened her arms. She was hugging my neck now, breath harsh against my ear, whimpering as she drove herself to a frenzy.

I kissed the side of her neck as I felt her walls begin to tremble. “That's right,” I crooned, “make yourself come, sweetheart...let go.”

She let out a little cry, almost a sob, and then she was coming, mouth open and panting, sex gushing all around my fingers, her thighs clamping around my waist, hips bucking. I held her close, enjoying the sensation of her breasts rubbing against me, just as much as I enjoyed knowing that I had brought her off like this.

“Fucking _hells_ ,” she gasped, as she finally slowed and stilled. Her face was pressed against my shoulder, and I knew not all the dampness on my skin was from washing.

I let her cry. There wasn't much else I could do, really. My own body thrummed, wanting more pleasure, but I was content to wait a little.

At last, she straightened a bit, kissing her way along my shoulder to my neck, then up along my jaw until she laid her mouth over mine. “Now,” she breathed, “it's my turn.”

She shifted off of me, and drew me with her to the water's edge, where some smooth rocks had been placed – presumably for some kind of dry spot to set things, or possibly to bask on. They were big enough even for me to lay down.

But it was Lyse who lay on the rock, on her back, and tugged at me. “Come up here,” she told me with lust in her voice. “I want you kneeling over my face.”

I shuddered a little with anticipation, and crawled up her body, carefully, taking a moment to kiss here and there. I reversed myself when I got up by her head. I had barely gotten my knees in place before she was grabbing me, yanking me down even as she lifted her head to attack my sex with hungry lips.

I yelped a little with the intensity of the pleasure, but I spread my knees and balanced so that I could knead my own breasts. Water ran down my front from my still-wet hair, but neither of us cared about it. When her tongue found my clit, I tilted my head up to the sky and let out a long, loud moan.

She was absolutely merciless, plunging her tongue into my sex, then slipping back out to torment my clit. I could barely stay upright, twitching and shuddering almost constantly under her assault.

“Lyse...ah hells, Lyse, I'm...!” I lost control and came into her mouth, wailing. I fell forward, my hands going to either side of her hips, and for a moment all I could do was rest my forehead against her body and quiver.

She did not let up even when my orgasm began to fade. I opened my eyes and realized how I was laying. My face was _so_ close to her sex...

I slid my hands carefully until I had her legs spread wide, and then I bent my head to _feast_.

She moaned when my tongue entered her, and I shuddered at the way her voice vibrated through my sex. But I didn't let up on what I was doing. I was suddenly starving for the taste of her, and I plundered her sex with my mouth.

She twisted her body, and we shifted just enough that I was partly on my side. I slipped my fingers inside of her, and began to concentrate on the little pearl of her clit. She responded in kind, and I groaned as she fucked me hard.

We were both of us too excited, too pent up, to make it last for long. She came again, and I lapped at her, reveling in the way she bucked her hips, and then I was coming too, so hard that I found myself biting the inside of her thigh before I quite knew what I was doing.

As we both came down from the high, we lay panting and tangled on the stone. Lyse laughed, breathless and a little wild. “Gods _damn_ you're good at that.”

I rubbed my cheek against her thigh, and kissed the mark where I had bitten her. “Hm, you ain't half bad either, honey.”

Moving slowly, we got back into the water, and this time I actually helped her get clean.

Lyse and I were finished getting clean by the time Alisaie showed up, carrying a stack of towels under one arm.

“You could have left a message,” she said to Lyse with a frown. She set the towels down on a dry stone, and skimmed out of her things, stepping into the water with a small shiver.

Lyse tossed her the soap-sponge. “Sorry.”

Alisaie gave her a sharp look, but didn't speak. She seemed very pink in the face.

“You okay, Alisaie?”

She ducked her head under the water instead of answering me right away. When she came up, her hair was in her face a bit, and she attacked it with the soap. “I'm fine.”

I held my hand up out of the water. “Well, I'm all wrinkly, so I'm getting out.” I made my way over to the towels. “Thanks for bringing these, Alisaie,” I said over my shoulder as I picked one up. “Lyse forgot any.”

Lyse made a rude noise. “I was in a hurry.”

I laughed; but I was glad I was facing away from the water so that Alisaie didn't see me blushing. I dried quickly and got back into my clothing. I had clean – well, cleaner – clothes in my pack. I could change into those when I got back down there.

I picked up my boots and decided not to put them on. I turned to go, and waved my fingers at the other two. “See you when you get done.”

It was late afternoon outside, but here in the House of the Fierce it was almost impossible to know what time of day it really was. I found myself yawning hugely as I finished changing into my last clean clothes. Between a somewhat emotional day and what Lyse had done to me, I was tired.

_Well, I can't do much more today anyway. Those people in the village don't need my axe_. I stretched, and laid out my bedroll in the little cave we'd been given for sleeping. _But maybe they could use a friend_.

I lay down on my side. The people here would have all our things cleaned up tomorrow. I would go into the village and see if there was anything I could do. Tomorrow...

I was asleep in minutes, and for once I did not dream.


	21. Distractions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> multiple POVs this chapter! more letter sending!

_** Kugane ** _ _ : Far East Branch Office, East Aldenard Trading Company _

Alphinaud Leveilleur was not sulking.

He left off pacing the small room he had been given, and sighed. All right, he would admit it to himself, if to no one else. He was most certainly sulking, because he was stuck _here_ while Berylla was out _there_ , actually doing things. He dared not reach out to her. They had only left the city this morning; she had promised she would contact him. He must be patient, while Alisaie...

He bit his lip. He had not missed the looks his sister had been giving the warrior over the last weeks. Perhaps for the others it had not been plain – and certainly Berylla seemed oblivious – but to Alphinaud, his sister's interest was painfully obvious.

By Thaliak! Who _else_ was he going to have to compete with?!

He ran his hands through his hair. He and Berylla had only just taken the first tentative steps into a true relationship. Why did Alisaie choose _now_ to – to – swoop in and make a try for her?

He reminded himself that Berylla had missed – or ignored – Alisaie's subtle flirtations so far. There was no reason to let his imagination run wild with foolish speculations.

He realized he was gnawing on his thumbnail. Confound it.

A distraction. Work of _any_ sort, to distract his mind, let his temper settle.

He picked up the large satchel he had kept with him on board the Misery, full of his various supplies for drawing and the like. He had yet to organize any of those efforts. While at sea there was no reasonable way to do more than line work; he should look through the sketches done and decide which were worthy of the next effort of adding color.

Moments later, he was sitting on the floor, surrounded by paper. The chaos of drawings and scribbled bits of aether formulas soothed him. It was a _familiar_ chaos, at least, not like the other things he was facing – both in terms of the coming conflict, and in terms of his feelings.

He sorted quickly, then took more time on a second pass. He had sketched Berylla a great deal, of course. She had been quite an excellent subject, all those mornings that she had gone through her exercises out on deck, under the sun. Or the way she had sat for hours at a time, just letting the sea wind tug at her hair, making of it a flaming pennon. Or how she had leaned her cheek on her hand as she smiled at one of the stories told around their supper table.

He realized he had quite a few pages that had been written on – words, not formulas – and not in his hand, either. He frowned. He had simply gathered up all the papers that had accumulated around the great room, when they were preparing to come into port.

But the moment he saw the words on the top page, he understood.

“Aymeric, I'm sorry – ”

The handwriting was _atrocious_ , and the ink had blurred slightly as if water had dropped onto the paper. Alphinaud looked through the entire stack, separating out all the pages that were not his own. All of them bore the same beginning – he refused to read past that first line. He realized that Berylla had been trying to write a letter.

His heart ached as he counted them.

Seventeen attempted letters to the Lord Commander.

The memory of the night he had inadvertently eavesdropped on her and Tataru dragged across his mind. The regret of standing and listening left a taste in his mouth like bitter ashes.

Presently, Aymeric would have a letter in his hands. Alphinaud hoped the man would understand what effort had gone into it.

Four days since they had left. Only four? Yes, four.

Alphinaud had finally gotten used to sitting on the floor. He had spent many hours bent over the low desk, trying to lose his frustrations by working until he was almost too weary to stand. His fingernails were becoming ragged, despite his efforts to break _that_ habit.

The desk in his small room was covered in various papers, but his sketch book was on top. His pencil moved quickly over the page, sketching in the curve of lip and brow and jaw, simple lines to capture the face he had not stopped thinking about for four days. How she had looked, asleep while he petted her hair.

Swooping lines now, to suggest the fall of that beautiful hair. No way to describe with mere pencil and paper how it had felt in his hands, or the way he had fallen into a kind of trance. He had not had her to himself for long. And now...

His hand shook, spoiling a line, and he puffed out a breath and set the pencil aside. Plucking the soft gum eraser from its spot, he rubbed out the mistake, then replaced the eraser. But instead of picking up the pencil again, he simply sat and stared at the image he had created. Almost stylized, as it was now. And yet somehow...it was right. It was how he felt about his relationship with Berylla. Sketched in. Barely begun.

He took a long breath and reminded himself that his sister had not traveled with Berylla as he had, that Berylla did not trust Alisaie the way she trusted him. And Berylla did not trust _him_ enough to do more than hold his hand or let him pet her hair.

He remembered, with sudden and painful clarity, how Berylla had told him that he did not, _could not_ , own her.

A tap on his door startled him. “Alphinaud? What on earth are you doing still awake at this hour?”

Tataru watched as the young man started and then tried to cover the reaction.

“Ah, Tataru, I – I was still catching up on those documents you gave me to read over.”

A lie. She clearly saw the sketch book lying open on top of those very documents. He'd not been sketching, though – just staring. No doubt about it, then. Alphinaud and Berylla had reached some sort of understanding, and he was brooding over the warrior. Now to ferret out why.

“She's fine, you know.”

His eyes fixed on hers and he seemed, for one instant, to hold his breath. Then he slumped a little, and looked away. “I know she is. They all are quite capable of taking care of themselves. It is only...”

“It can't be that you don't want to work with me, can it?” she asked, giving him one of her less devastating puppy-eyed looks. He jerked his gaze back to her face and began to stammer, and she laughed quietly. “Oh, I'm just teasing, Alphinaud! It's only natural to worry about your sister...”

“It's not _Alisaie_ I worry for,” Alphinaud muttered, and swiped at his bangs.

Tataru smiled. “So it is Berylla, then.”

The look of shock on his face was too good, and she savored it for a moment before she continued. “I'm not blind, you know.”

“I – I am not certain what I ought to say. Tataru, what are you after?”

“I only want to know a few things,” Tataru told him, and set her hands on her hips. “Starting with why you are so very upset about Berylla going off to do her job.”

“I – I am not upset because of that.” He frowned at her tiny noise of doubt. “I truly am not upset simply because we are apart, Tataru. It's just...” He sighed. “This is a most uncomfortable subject.”

“Too bad. Keep talking.”

“It's Alisaie,” he admitted, and leaned his head on his hands. “She's after Berylla...”

“Do you trust Berylla or not?”

“Of course I trust her! It's my damnable _sister_ I don't trust!” He stopped, looking appalled at his own words. He covered his eyes with one hand. “This cannot be happening,” he mumbled. “Why – ”

“For one thing, because you're already trying to run yourself into the ground. For another, because of how torn up Berylla has been about you.” Her glance at him was keen. “Which I believe you know already.”

He winced, and she nodded. “I thought I heard someone lurking.”

“I didn't intend – ”

“Of course you didn't.” She waved one hand, dismissing his flustered words. “Normally I would not bother you about private affairs. You're adults after all. But Berylla...”

She crossed her arms, looking at the ground as she chose her words carefully. “Berylla doesn't always understand how to do things the way a normal person would. I don't pretend to understand why, because it doesn't very much matter to me why she acts the way she does. What matters to me is what can, and has, happened to her because of it.” Tataru sighed. “That's why I'm watching over her. She was hurt once before – badly, very badly. I won't see it happen again, not if I can do something about it anyway.”

“...Who hurt her?”

“That's for her to talk about. I'm only explaining why I take a personal interest in who she sleeps with.”

“We – we are not – s-sleeping together.” Alphinaud's words were choked and his face was very pink, all the way to his neck.

“Not yet, anyway.”

His mouth opened, then shut, and his blush deepened. Tataru waved her hand again.

“It doesn't matter. I don't care if you're sharing a bed, Alphinaud, I care about whether or not you're being healthy in how you deal with her.”

“I assure you that I am being most cautious – ”

“What do you get out of being with her? What do you want of her, Alphinaud?” Tataru's bluntness provoked an answering bluntness from him, as she'd hoped it would.

“I want her to trust me,” he said. “I want her to be able to rely on me. I want to be a partner for her, on the battlefield or off of it. I have thought about this for _quite_ some time, Tataru...I love her.”

Tataru looked at him steadily, waiting.

“I understand,” he continued, “that I will always have to share her attention in some manner. She is the Warrior of Light, after all. Everyone who knows her trusts in her, relies on her, believes in her. Everyone _wants_ things from her.” He took a long breath, and met the Lalafellin woman's eyes. “I want to give Berylla more than I ask of her.”

“Then I hope,” Tataru said quietly, “that you never forget to _ask_ her what she needs...and to _listen_ when she replies.”

Alone once more, Alphinaud sighed deeply and put away his sketching things. He left his work for the morrow, and prepared himself for bed.

But laying in the dark, on the odd-yet-comfortable Far Eastern style bed, he could not rest.

He was still turning Tataru's words around in his head, examining all that she had said. That he must discover what Berylla wanted, what she _needed_ – not just guess at it. _Ask and listen_. He thought over the conversations he had had with Berylla on the ship. It seemed to him that he _was_ listening – but that, as he already understood, it would take time for Berylla to trust him.

It had been strangely liberating, to finally say it out loud. As if, by some strange alchemy, speaking the words made his love for her more real.

At least Tataru saw him as an adult in this matter. It seemed she was alone among the Scions in that. He had the feeling they would most emphatically disapprove of what Alphinaud had already done. He _refused_ to think that his relationship with Berylla was a mistake. However, that worry could wait for some other day. He had more than enough to concern him without adding to the lot. As for his sister...

He could not entirely blame Alisaie for her actions; his sister was not that unlike himself. Alisaie _had_ explored the Coils, with Berylla fighting at her side. He still recalled vividly that night when those investigations had concluded. How Berylla had held them both close...and how much it had affected him. Of course it had had no less of an impact on his sister. Even nearly two years of time apart would not have undone such deep feelings.

Very well, he would not fret about the matter. Berylla would make up her own mind about Alisaie's possible advances; it was not up to him to tell his sister to back off. He would, however, make sure she knew that he was well aware of her maneuvering.

There was work to be done here, and he _was_ making a difference by staying and aiding Tataru's efforts. But sooner or later, things would be established, would calm, and Tataru would not need the extra pair of hands.

Well then. He would work. He would wait.

He would also have some few words to say to his sister when next he saw her.

_**Ishgard** : Fortemps manor, evening _

Nightbird tapped her lips, and nodded. She made certain the ink was dry on the letter, then carefully folded it, tucked it into the envelope she had already addressed, and sealed it. Then she put away her writing things and pushed away from the desk.

“Are you finished yet?”

She smiled, and walked out of the sitting room to join a certain fractious dragoon.

_**Castrum Oriens** : morning _

She slipped the letter across the table to the General. “Thank you,” she told him, “for allowing me to send something personal along with the more official documents.”

“You aren't the only one,” he said. She noticed then, the letter – in much the same sort of envelope as she had used – and sealed with blue wax and ribbon. Her tail made an S curve and her ears wiggled a little. Raubahn, not unfamiliar with her tells, grinned slightly, and spoke in an undertone. “Perhaps we can wish them well, eh?”

Nightbird bowed her head, quickly organizing her expression into neutrality. Raubahn did not know about Berylla's falling-out with the Lord Commander, and even the existence of a relationship between those two did _not_ need to become camp gossip. She settled for a nearly silent laugh, and a small nod. Then she bowed herself away, and went back to the infirmary.

_**Kugane** : Far East Branch Office, East Aldenard Trading Company _

The nightly messenger returned to the Ruby Bazaar offices, and handed his satchel over before heading home to a well earned rest. The letters and documents within the satchel were duly sorted, with materials for Miss Tataru neatly stacked in the basket labeled with her name and signature slip of ribbon. Though the night manager would never breathe a word of it in Hancock's presence, the Lalafellin woman's “reorganization” had in fact been a blessing.

In the morning, Tataru came to collect the contents of the basket, and presently was sorting through it all, with Alphinaud sitting across the table from her.

“Ah,” she said, “yes, personal letters will begin to come here, I'd almost forgotten that I'd decided to allow it. Here, Alphinaud. One for you.”

Alphinaud's eyebrows went up. “Oh?” Then, glancing over the envelope, he smiled. “From Nightbird. I will save this for after supper.”

Then he saw Tataru's slight frown, and looked to the envelope in her hand, sealed with blue wax. His smile faded.

“It's for Berylla.” Her expression was cautious.

“Yes, I imagine it is.”

“I won't ask you to – ”

“I can keep it safe, if you wish me to do so,” Alphinaud said. “Given that I do plan to join the others in Doma as soon as it is feasible for me to do so, I can deliver it, as well.”

Her gaze was steady. “In light of the conversation you and I had last night...?”

“Even if I were so ill-mannered an individual as to read a letter not intended for my eyes,” Alphinaud's lip curled at the mere idea, “I have no intention of interfering in any other relationships Berylla may – or may _not_ – have.” The scholar's spine was stiff and straight. “Either you trust me to safeguard the letter or you do not, Tataru.”

She cocked her head, then seemed to make up her mind. She set the envelope on the table, and pushed it across to Alphinaud's side. “When you join them, you'll deliver plenty of other messages, most likely.”

She said nothing more about the matter, and they went on about the morning's business.

That evening, before supper, Berylla contacted him at last. Hearing her voice made it very difficult to concentrate on her report, but he managed. But when they eased into more personal matters...he could hear the smile in her voice. He immediately regretted it when he told her about the letter from Ishgard, and that he had found her papers; it took that smile away.

Alphinaud's hand shook as he lowered it, hearing the connection go dead. He had _wanted_ to say a great deal more, but the very nature of link-pearl communication inhibited him. No less than that, the weariness he had heard in Berylla's voice made him hesitant to keep her too long. She hadn't mentioned injuries of her own...but she wouldn't.

Her report had him a bit concerned, as well. He might have expected that they would need to deal with the Confederacy – and how _that_ must have rankled with his sister! – but never would he have predicted the circuitous manner the three of them had employed to befriend them. Not to mention the primal – a wholly unexpected situation!

His mind turned over the information she had given him. He would need to discuss with Hancock about these local spirits – these kami. At first he had thought them harmless superstitions, but clearly they were more than that.

His mind stubbornly drifted back to Berylla, and how much he wished he had been beside her. He could have learned so much more about the situation out there, if he had seen it first hand. He could have surely been more persuasive than his dratted sister, as well. He caught himself starting to chew on his thumbnail, and set his hand down on his leg with a grimace.

Tataru slid the door to his room open. “Alphinaud, it's time to eat.”

“Yes, I will be right there. Berylla just reported in; I must make notes.”

She nodded, and though she gave him a keen look, she didn't say anything more.

He turned back to his papers, and tried to keep his mind on work.


	22. Monsters

I befriended the village, helping with this and that, diving into the river for unlikely weeds and even more unlikely fishes. The others did similar tasks – except for Gosetsu, who kept himself out of sight for the moment, and Yugiri, who seemed bound and determined to talk to every villager personally. I wondered if she believed she could persuade them all to support another rebellion; wondered if she could not see what I could in their tired eyes, the way their mouths pinched, the way their shoulders hunched.

After the first day, Lyse had found more success in getting the various soldiers within the House of the Fierce to talk to her than in the village. One of the survivors had told his tale to us in person, and she had related the kinds of stories she heard to me and to Alisaie, over our tea of a night.

Ah, the tea. Very fond of tea, were the Doman people.

It was a minor thing to bitch about, but I was ready to kill for a pot of coffee.

Zenos was a monster. He had enjoyed slaughtering the rebels. He collected the swords of the fallen – and used them to murder more people. He spoke ever of the hunt, of his prey, and his blood lust was never, ever satiated. The Crown Prince had taken on almost an aura of legend, like some mythical beast – not something to be summoned, not something that could be appeased.

Once again the parallels between these suffering people and those abused kids seemed obvious to me. Zenos was the lurker in the dark, the creeping doom that could not be stopped, stuff of any child's nightmare. The sort of monster that you hid from, the sort of monster that if you just chanted the right charm, prayed hard enough, would take someone _else_ and not _you_.

By the time three days had gone by, we had slipped into somewhat of a routine – Yugiri and I would head up to the village, to listen and talk and perhaps take on another round of chores. Lyse and Alisaie would spend their morning working out with the soldiers, sparring sessions that Lyse found especially engaging. Sometimes, in the afternoon, Alisaie would come take over whatever the day's chores were, and let me go get in a workout as well.

In other words, we kept busy, but nothing much got done.

But the fourth morning, Yugiri talked with me over a shared plate of onigiri. “It is well that you spoke with one of the survivors of that massacre. To defeat one's foe, one must first understand his true nature. As the Ala Mhigan Resistance has struggled, so too has the Doman Liberation Front. More so, perhaps, given the precarious position in which we find ourselves in the wake of our doomed rebellion.” She sighed, regarding the last bite of her rice ball. “We are few, and our enemies legion. We are weak, and they strong. Yet with your help, I believe that there is little we cannot achieve...” She finished the food. “I only hope the depth of our predicament has not shaken your commitment to our cause.”

I was not at all shaken by what we had learned. No, I wanted to  _ eviscerate _ Zenos. The things he had done, the things he had commanded done...it made me burn with rage.

There was anger in the villagers; I could see it, buried deep in their eyes. Hints of it in the way they dealt with certain sorts of tasks – anything where force was needed and damage didn't matter. But their anger was a single ember from a dying fire. Mine felt more like the fiery island in the Ruby Sea, hot enough to melt rocks.

“No,” I answered her. My smile felt sharp, and the way she regarded me told me that I was likely showing my teeth more than strictly necessary. “I relish the challenge.” 

She blinked twice, and then suddenly her mouth stretched, and her smile was as bloodthirsty as mine. “But of course,” she murmured. “The hero of Eorzea fears no foe!”

There was a commotion up in the village, near the aetheryte.

I started to go look, when Yugiri's arm shot out and she dragged me into the bushes.

Then I heard a voice I had heard once before. The same Imperial pilus who had sneered at Tansui...

We stayed hidden, watching, listening. I trembled, wanting so badly to leap out and crack open the Imperials' skulls – but knowing that there were far too many of them, and even if I could kill them all...it was just as it had been back in Gyr Abania when we had been forced to watch silently as the Skulls beat that poor kid.

The only difference here was that no one had to raise a fist to beat down the people of Namai. As the pilus ranted about the humiliating defeat at Isari, they all cowered. Even when he started to point, and his men started grabbing people, they did not make a sound.

Isse, the outspoken young man who'd warned me more than once to get the hell away from the village, was one of the first they took. I saw his little sister, hiding behind a basket, tears streaming down her face. Too terrified to do more than look on as her only remaining family was marched away.

Beside me, Yugiri was shaking too.

We waited for a time after the Imperials had gone. The handful of villagers left stood where they had been assembled, as if unable to make themselves move. None of them could look at each other. Azami began to sob, and no one comforted her.

_Damn it, I've had enough_. I strode out, and picked the weeping little girl up in my arms. I did not look at the villagers as I carried her over to an empty table, to sit with her and let her cry against my shoulder.

But my appearance seemed to at least shake them out of their daze. They began to walk towards their houses, towards their fields. But after a few steps, all of them drifted towards the biggest house in the village, and one by one they vanished inside. Were they mourning together in there? I didn't know, and as I rocked Azami in my arms, I didn't care.

Yugiri walked over to me. Her eyes looked haunted.

“I don't know about you,” I said, “but I am not going to just let this bullshit stand. I don't know what I can do. But I'll be damned if I'm going to sit on my ass. Not now.”

She nodded once. “There may be a way. But only if we move swiftly and silently.” She eyed me. “You are not usually given to stealth...”

“I can be sneaky if you need me to be sneaky. So long as we fix this.”

Azami sniffled, and looked up at me. I tucked her hair back behind her ear. “I'm going to go get Isse. I need you to stay here and stay safe. Okay?”

She nodded, and climbed down from my lap. She headed for the big house, but vanished around the corner of it. I knew there was a garden back there. She probably had a hiding spot. Smart girl.

I turned to Yugiri. “Let's go.”

It was hard to believe how fast Yugiri could work – or perhaps most shinobi could have downed an even dozen Imperials in under an hour, strolled into their garrison, impersonated one of them just enough to draw away the last guards, and freed the villagers. _Hells! It isn't even noon yet._

But her mood was anything but sunny. Even as she handed me a vial of something blue, and told me to administer it to some of our “sleeping beauties,” I could see how troubled she still was.

I couldn't blame her.

At least the villagers had taken the escape she offered them. For one awful moment there, I had truly been afraid they wouldn't, that they'd just stay there and let the Imperials wake up and take them. I could only hope they had some way to either hide themselves, or...something. _Gods, can we evacuate Namai? Where would we hide everyone...?_

I shook my head and concentrated on handling the Imperials. I didn't like leaving them alive, but I couldn't argue with Yugiri on that point. The villagers would be massacred for sure if we killed even one guard.

Just as I finished with my part of the task, I saw her jogging towards me.

Both of us startled and looked up as we heard the roar of ceruleum engines.

An airship – by its markings one carrying somebody important – cruised overhead, and passed through the magitek field blocking the great Gate. Heading straight for Doma Castle.

Yugiri's eyes met mine, and we didn't say a word. We turned, and started running for Namai.

It was Zenos. Zenos was here, right now, in Doma. For all we knew, he was heading towards Namai, maybe even as we stood around talking about it.

Yugiri wanted to take him out, now while we had this chance. Gosetsu flatly forbid it.

Yugiri stood in front of Gosetsu, her hands curled into fists at her sides, and nearly shouted at him. I had never seen her so close to losing control.

When she spun on her heel and stormed out, none of us moved for a long moment.

Then, Gosetsu sighed hugely. “I will not pursue her. It is for her to think on our master's words and recognize the futility of her course.” He eyed me. “Those, at least, are my thoughts upon the matter. Yours may be different. Should you wish to give chase, I will not bar your path. Zenos will fall, but not to a desperate knife in the dark. We will need to plan and prepare, and she has done neither.” He did not hide his disapproval; but something gleamed in his eyes that made me wonder if he was at least partly putting on a show.

I nodded once, and turned to go.

Lyse caught my shoulder. “I'm going to go tell the villagers,” she said. “If they have anywhere they can go...”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Help them, hide them if you can. I wish I had a better idea.”

Alisaie was already in the village as Lyse and I approached. Lyse took the path leading up, and I kept to the lower one. I had a feeling I knew where Yugiri had gone. There was a little alcove of sorts, under the “front” bridge into Namai...

Sure enough, there she was, releasing a falcon from her wrist as I walked up. Her back was to me, but I knew she heard me coming.

“Did Gosetsu send you to stop me?”

“No, he didn't. I figured you at least needed someone to talk to.”

“Then you came of your own free will? I should be surprised if you agreed with my chosen course. No one else did.”

“Gosetsu seems to think you don't have a plan.” I tilted my head. “But I've worked with you enough to know that you always have a plan. My only question is whether it's a half-assed plan or not.”

She snorted a laugh. “It is not as fanciful as they would have you believe. Scant moments ago, I received the crown prince's itinerary from one of our spies in the castle.” She set one hand on her hip. “It would seem that Zenos has no desire to remain in Doma any longer than necessary. He wishes to inspect the Moon Gates this very eve.”

“That means he might not come as far as Namai, then?”

“Better. His impatience is to our advantage. He arrived without warning and gave Yotsuyu no time to prepare. The whole castle is in state of upheaval. To avoid any delay, he has declined a full escort, and will be traveling with no more than a handful of soldiers. The kami could not have blessed us with more auspicious circumstances. I _will_ kill him, Berylla.” She bared her teeth, and her hand caressed the dagger at her hip for a moment. “I will.”

I regarded her for only a second. “You mean,” I said gently, “ _we_ will kill him.”

Her eyes flew to mine, and slowly she began to smile. A real smile, that then darkened to the most bloodthirsty grin I had ever seen. Her eyes lit up, and I knew my own grin matched hers.

She shook her head then. “Or,” she let out a small breath, “die trying. You understand the risks.”

Then she huffed a laugh. “Forgive me. Of course you do. Perhaps better than I. 

“Risk isn't new for me, no.”

“I know the odds. I know what he is capable of, and that in an open confrontation, I will likely die.” She stood straight and nodded, as if to herself. “But if I do not─if I succeed, then countless lives will be saved. Doma, Ala Mhigo─everything will change! One life for that world is a price I would pay a thousand times over!”

I crossed my arms, and waited. She cocked her head at me.

“...What? What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?” I raised one eyebrow, then ostentatiously rolled my shoulders, bringing her attention to my axe. “Do you mean to _join_ me?”

And then she did something I never thought I would ever see.

She hugged me. Her voice was soft as she spoke, but I could hear the tears, and I hugged her back. “Thank you. Thank you. I...I cannot well express what this means to me.”

Then she let me go, her voice returning to its usual brisk tone. “We have much to discuss, but we can do so on the way. Yuzuka Manor is some distance from here. We must hurry!”

I followed after her as she took off at a run.

We had a perfect view of the road. It was drizzling – in the last couple of hours, a storm had rolled over the edge of the valley from the sea, and dumped cold drizzle and fog that clung oddly to the buildings and bushes. I had muttered for a moment, but Yugiri smiled to see it. I understood: for her kind of fighting, this was quite the ideal sort of weather. My shirt was just wet enough to cling uncomfortably, and the water was just cold enough to make the cloth feel clammy on top of clingy.

All of my internal bitching stopped when I saw the first Imperial soldier.

 _Three men – only three men!? He's either insane or stupidly overconfident_.

Three guards walked before him, and four more behind – slightly less insane but still ridiculous, for someone like him. He strode as if he had nowhere in particular to be, his helm glaring like a gargoyle's face.

Yugiri murmured to me, and I nodded. My axe was ready, and all I had to do now was wait a few moments more...

She vanished from beside me.

Even from where I was, even knowing what she was doing, I never saw her. The men guarding the rear simply dropped without a sound.

And then she was rushing forward, daggers out, flinging herself at Zenos' unprotected back.

Yotsuyu yelped, but Zenos was already moving. His sword was out and blocking, and he stopped Yugiri in mid-leap while she was still almost a foot away from him. She had time to look at him as the blades screeched against each other, and then he hurled her backwards. She landed on her feet, even though she kept sliding backwards in the mud for a bit.

I was out among the guards before they heard me coming. I cut them down without hesitation. Yotsuyu let out another sound of dismay, but Zenos barely turned his head.

He muttered something to the viceroy, then spoke to Yugiri. I couldn't quite make out the words – the way his helmet was, and with him facing away from me, all I could really discern was that he was bored.

Yugiri bared her teeth at him, and charged. I shouted as I came at him from the opposite side.

Yugiri was on her knees. I stared in shock, rooted to the ground for a moment by the dark aether Zenos had sent pulsing along the ground. _He killed his own men! He's completely mad!_

“Well done, beast,” he told Yugiri. “You have earned the right to look upon the Ame-no-Habakiri.”

What he did then, I could not have said. All I knew was that the world tried to split apart at my feet, and I scrambled backwards. I heard Yotsuyu screaming as she pressed herself against the nearest wall to avoid the destruction.

Yugiri had no chance.

She was still alive when my eyes cleared, but I had no time to feel relieved.

He was coming for me, now.

Coming for me, with that same, slow pace as he had used at the Reach. That same tone to his voice as he said, “Now, let us put you to the proof.”

My nightmare, walking towards me in the rain.

I scrambled all over the place, avoiding his attacks and smashing into him as hard as I could, over and over. Even when I got a solid hit in, he seemed completely unfazed. I began to wonder if he was even human, or some horrifying magitek monstrosity.

Though I could not see his face, I could feel his eyes on me, and my skin crawled.

“You're better than most,” he drawled. “But not good enough.”

His sword blurred, and suddenly I was _flying_. I landed hard, a few feet away from Yugiri. All I could manage was to get to one knee; my head was spinning and I couldn't seem to get a good breath.

“Ah,” his voice took on a pleasantly surprised tone. “I remember you! Ala Mhigo. The champion of the savages.”

He lifted the sword, and I could hear the aether gathering. One more strike like he had used before, and Yugiri and I would both be dead.

As if out of nowhere, something impacted his helmet. The tip of one horn shattered and fell to the ground.

Zenos paused. He seemed to consider what had happened, and then he stabbed his sword into the earth, and lifted his hands to his head.

He removed his helmet and cast it aside.

I stared.

He was _beautiful_.

He was beautiful the way a tiger is beautiful, the way a tidal wave seen from far away can be lovely. His hair was the purest gold I had ever seen, his eyes a blue to send any maiden into a swoon, his face enough to seduce maiden and man alike.

He was _terrifying_.

“Oh, how right I was to spare you,” he purred.

Without the distortion of his helmet, his voice was as seductive as his face, and I trembled. He looked at me, and smiled. A sweet smile, a smile of mild surprise, mild excitement.

I felt like sicking up.

“Hear me, hero,” he said, and I could not tear my eyes away. “Endure. Survive. Live.” His eyes bored into mine, a lover's gaze, hungry and demanding. “For the rush of blood, for the time between the seconds – _live_. For the sole pleasure left to me in this empty, ephemeral world – _**live!**_ ”

My head was swimming. The way he spoke those words reminded me, too much, of how Haurchefant had spoken – how Aymeric had spoken – telling me they loved me without ever breathing the word aloud.

My eyes were dry, but deep inside myself, I screamed.

His eyes shifted away from mine. The spell was broken.

Only then did I notice that Yugiri had somehow managed to get on her feet.

I couldn't even cry out as she staggered, then charged towards Zenos once more. I knew, somehow, that all she saw was that he had no helm, no sword to hand – her focus too narrow to grant her the wisdom to _stay down_ –

I didn't even see him move. But his sword was in his hand and Yugiri was yards away from him, face down, completely still. The wind began to gust, throwing the drizzle into my face, hard enough to sting.

“ _You_ are not worthy.” His voice, his face, was cold, no longer lover-like. He stalked toward her, with the look of a man about to squash the bug that has mildly annoyed him.

An arrow sang out of nowhere, and struck the ground mere inches from his foot.

He paused, and looked up...and smiled, the smile of a cat with a mouse in view.

Even as I gaped in astonishment, I heard Isse's voice. “Get away from them, you imperial dog!”


	23. A Desperate Plea

“Ah, how good to see you again, my friend!”

Alphinaud smiled at Soroban. “It is indeed a pleasure, Soroban. I am glad you were willing to transport me. I have much to tell my comrades.” He hefted the satchel on his shoulder, and gestured towards the door. “I am ready to leave when you are.”

The Kojin trader bowed once to Hancock, then bowed again, this time to Tataru. Alphinaud did not bow, but he did nod in response to Tataru's farewell wave.

Soroban wasted no time, making his way from the Ruby Bazaar to his boat. He had come to the offices to finalize some sort of deal with Hancock, one that had ended with both of them very pleased and Soroban in possession of an unmarked crate.

He carried the crate as if it were empty, and Alphinaud wondered what on earth Hancock could have given the Kojin.

But as they boarded Soroban's boat, he let such idle thoughts slip away. Communications were finally secured and set up in a way that did not require him to stay in Kugane, for now at least. Everything that remained was well within Tataru's capabilities, and she had even begun plans to explore the markets. If he knew Tataru, she'd be filling the Scions' coffers with coin soon enough.

But he was able, at last, to make his way to Doma, to join his comrades.

To finally be beside Berylla again.

He kept that pushed down into the back of his mind. Alisaie had been the one to call in most recently – just two days ago – saying that Berylla was already fast asleep, worn out after a day of chores. She had kept the call brief, brisk, and professional – leaving him with a very acceptable report and a sense of deep frustration.

He had collected the necessary tools required to repair the broken aetheryte his sister mentioned. Hancock had even gotten his hands on a relatively useful manual regarding the particulars of Doman aetheryte construction. The task would not be easy, and would take some days to complete – possibly weeks. But he felt quite confident that between the two of them, he and Alisaie could manage.

He had also brought along the letters. Somehow they felt heavier in his bag than the aetheryte manual.

He turned his face into the dawn breeze, and turned his mind to thinking on how pleasant it would be to see them all again.

Isse crouched, hidden in the shrubs, and bit his lip. He had seen the tall red-haired _ijin_ – Berylla – walking by, and had wanted to try to apologize to her for his harsh words. Azami had told him of how the warrior had comforted her, and he knew for himself how quickly the _ijin_ had rescued him. Him, and all the villagers – and without breathing a word as to compensation. He had misjudged her, and her friends.

He was not at all prepared to go along with their mad notion to revive the rebellion. But perhaps, if he sufficiently humbled himself before her, she would help him and Azami flee this place. The imperials would return, sooner or later. It was only a matter of time before Isse and the other villagers were taken again; and someone like Berylla might not be around to rescue them.

He had followed her, therefore, in hopes of getting her alone long enough to make his apologies and to beg her for her help – and to do it all in a way that would not make his shame, or his plans, public.

Instead, he found himself listening, hiding in the shrubbery where he'd ducked when he realized Berylla was approaching Yugiri, the shinobi. His eyes widened and he grew horrified, as the shinobi declared her plan to lie in wait for the Crown Prince, with the intent of murdering him where he stood.

The two women moved off at a fast jog, and he sucked in a long slow breath. “No one knows you saw anything, no one knows you heard anything...”

His stomach roiled. They were going to get themselves killed! Two women – however accomplished – against Zenos was nothing less than suicide.

Let them die, then, he thought for an instant.

His guts lurched, and he leaned against the stone wall, losing what little he had in his belly.

“Damn it,” he panted. “Damn it...”

He squeezed his eyes shut for a long moment, then pushed himself away from the wall, and went looking for the rest of the _ijin_.

Alphinaud's feet touched down on the sand and he heaved a grateful sigh. “Quite the smoothest and most pleasant sea journey I have made in recent days,” he told Soroban, who grinned. “Thank you.”

“Glad to be of help. I must away – good fortune to you!”

Alphinaud glanced around, and saw the village to the east. Gazing along the cliffs, he saw the tunnel opening that Alisaie had mentioned. His steps were quick and eager as he headed for the tunnel.

Once out of sight of casual observers, he began to jog, and then to run.

“What do you want?” The white haired _ijin_ woman crossed her arms, her blue eyes keener than swords. She might have been pretty, if she hadn't looked so suspicious.

Isse swallowed hard. “I – your friend, the one with the axe.”

He wished, suddenly, that he hadn't remained so aloof to them all. He didn't even know their names, except for Berylla.

“What of her?”

“She – she is with the shinobi...”

But before he could gather enough courage to actually tell the frowning woman that her friend was heading into certain death, there was a small commotion down near the low path that led from Namai's center to the spring. He heard the voice of the third _ijin_ – the blond one – crying out. She sounded happy, not distressed, but he wasn't sure what she was yelling about.

He was startled, then, when the white-haired woman let out a curse and began to run towards the shouting. He couldn't help himself – he followed her.

“Alphinaud! Gods, it's good to see you again! Why didn't you send word you were coming?”

Alphinaud accepted Lyse's enthusiastic hug with a smile, and swiped at his bangs a little. “I did – or rather, I told Alisaie. Perhaps it slipped her mind.”

Just as he said the words, his sister came careening down the path. A young fellow in orange clothing followed on her heels, looking both curious and confused.

Alisaie came to a stop inches away from him. But there was no sisterly greeting.

“You said you'd be here _tomorrow!_ ” She had that expression he knew quite well from their younger days. She was hiding embarrassment under bluster. She _had_ forgotten.

He smiled at her, but his eyes glinted in warning.

They stared at each other for a long moment, with Lyse looking from Alisaie to Alphinaud in mild concern. Abruptly Alisaie took a step back and turned her shoulder to him. “Well, you're here now. Why?”

He ignored her rude tone of voice, and answered, directing his words to Lyse rather than his sister.

“I bring some few messages, and the tools necessary for repairing a certain arcane object.” Alisaie had mentioned that the local rebels preferred to keep their lair as secret as they could.

“If I'd known you were on the way,” Lyse smiled, “I wouldn't have let Berylla go haring off after Yugiri.”

The young man in the orange clothes spoke, his voice shaking a bit.

“About that...”

“ _She_ _ **what?!**_ ”

Isse winced at the volume of three people shouting at him in unison, and then flinched as the blond grabbed his arm.

He looked among the three of them, and shook his head. “Just as I said. The warrior and the shinobi, they – they go to attempt to kill the Crown Prince.”

The newcomer's eyes went wide.

“Alphinaud, we have to talk with Gosetsu. Now! Surely he can make Yugiri come back!”

Isse found himself nearly bowled over as the blond woman let go of him, and all three of the _ijin_ pelted off down the path. He rubbed his arm a little, and swallowed hard.

“Isse?”

He turned to see Azami standing at the top of the sloping path.

“Isse, please say it isn't true...” Water stood in his sister's eyes. “Tell me Berylla will come back. Tell me she will be all right!”

Isse walked over to her, and set one hand on her shoulder. “I...I would like to, Azami, but...”

She pulled away from him. “No!” she shouted, suddenly angry. “No! You can't just let Berylla _die_ , Isse! You _can't!_ ”

Her outburst, of course, drew the attention of everyone. Suddenly, every eye in Namai was fastened to the two of them. Isse felt his face turning very red.

“Azami, please – there's nothing I can do,” he tried.

“What is this about, Isse?” The eldest woman in the village spoke up.

“It – it's not anything that we should worry about...”

“I think we ought to be worried if someone who has done nothing to harm _us_ is going to be harmed.” Her tone was severe. “You had best explain, young man. And make it quick.”

Alphinaud's satchel lay on a table. He stood, arms crossed, face like stone as he listened. He was utterly aghast at what he heard.

“How could you let them go off on a suicide mission like this?” he demanded of Gosetsu.

“I did not believe Yugiri would be so reckless,” the old samurai said, shaking his gray head. “I truly thought Berylla went to her only to speak to her, calm her.”

“Well, clearly you thought wrong,” Lyse said, her tone agitated, “but now what do we do?”

“We assemble a group of fighters and we go save them from themselves,” Alphinaud snapped. “There is no question in my mind on that.”

Alisaie nodded once. “He's right. I know you can't spare many from here, Gosetsu, but give us all the men you can. We may just have to improvise...”

“You cannot be serious!” One of the liberation soldiers spluttered. “To reveal ourselves in Zenos' presence is to sentence every man and woman here to death!”

“Fine,” Alisaie snarled, “then I'll go alone – ”

“You shall do _no_ such thing,” Alphinaud interrupted hotly. “You are formidable, Alisaie, not super-human. _Think_ , will you?”

“You would need twenty men at the least to even present a threat to Zenos. No matter how few or how numerous his guards, he will not even respond to any force smaller than that.” Gosetsu's lips twisted. “Not enough sport, I suppose.”

Alphinaud's brow furrowed. “Twenty men at minimum?”

Alisaie spat. “Where shall we get twenty men, hmm, brother?” she demanded.

Alphinaud ignored her. He looked up at Gosetsu, his eyes flashing. “Just get me however many men you can, Gosetsu,” he said to the samurai. Then he turned to leave.

“And where are you going?” Gosetsu asked.

“I am going to recruit some help,” Alphinaud answered over his shoulder.

Lyse started after him, but Alisaie grabbed her shoulder.

“What?”

“You _can't_ go with us.” Alisaie's voice was steel. “Promise me, Lyse. Don't you dare try to go with us to get Berylla out of there. I don't want you anywhere near Zenos, do you hear me?”

“How can you _ask_ that of me, Alisaie?! She's my friend too!”

“And we need you to _survive_ ,” Alisaie shook her friend's arm. “Promise me!”

Lyse made a sound of frustration and distress. “Fine! Fine, I promise!” She glared at Alisaie. “But if she doesn't make it, I'm blaming you!”

“Fair!”

The two of them ran after Alphinaud.

Gosetsu watched them go, and shook his head. Then he began to bellow orders.

Alphinaud walked up the path into the middle of the village. In the short amount of time that he had been inside the House of the Fierce, the weather had turned. The sky was gray now, and a fine drizzle hazed through the air.

He was both furious and terrified. Zenos' itinerary stated clearly that he was coming towards Namai. Even now, Berylla might be...

He hesitated only for a moment when he saw the large gathering of people already standing near the aetheryte. They had surrounded the young fellow in orange, and there was an air of agitation to the entire scene.

Lyse came pounding up, with Alisaie right on her heels. They stopped beside him, and looked at the crowd.

The people in the crowd turned and saw the three of them. In just a moment, the whole group had shifted, and the young man had moved to stand before them.

“Isse,” Lyse said, “what's going on?”

An older woman behind him answered. “He says that the shinobi, and the _ijin_ warrior, have gone to fight Zenos. Is this true?”

“It is,” Alisaie nodded, her jaw tight.

“Why would you send them to their deaths?” demanded another villager.

“We didn't!” Lyse scowled. “Berylla has a bloody mind of her own! We don't want her to die!”

“Which is why we are here now, before you,” Alphinaud's voice carried clearly across the entire square. “To ask you to help us save our comrade. We cannot succeed alone. Will you not aid us?”

The villagers shuffled, and muttered, and glanced about nervously.

Isse stepped forward and then turned to face the rest of the villagers.

“You all know what Berylla has done for us,” he said to them. “She has asked us for nothing, and yet she has helped us, and even rescued us. She didn't _have_ to go chasing after the imperials. Every one of us ought to be picking up a weapon and going out there to help her.”

“But – the imperials – ”

“Yes.” Isse stood straighter. “I'm scared of the imperials too. I don't want anything to happen to my sister. But I'm going to help Berylla. I'm going to _try_. Not just because she helped Azami. Not just because she rescued me. Because it's the _right thing to do_ , damn it.” His gaze swept them all. “The people of Doma are a people of honor.” His voice grew louder. “What kind of honor can we claim to have, if we let a stranger die for us?”

The crowd began to chatter.

“But what can we _do?_ ”

“We're just farmers!”

“You have your tools,” Alphinaud's voice cut across the babble. “Do not underestimate the efficacy of such objects. You are strong, and familiar with them. But more than that...” He scanned the crowd. “More than that, your spirits are not broken. You stand together.”

“And where men stand together,” his sister said, her voice like a clarion call, “There is _hope_.”

There was a moment of quiet.

“Gods dammit,” a wolf-headed villager spat. “I'm tired of the imperials walking all over us. I'm sick to death of living in fear. I'll go with you.” He came out of the crowd to stand beside Isse, turning to face the rest in the same way the young man had done.

As if that opened some kind of floodgate, the entire crowd began to move. Some ran towards buildings, but most came to make a ring around Alphinaud and the others.

“We do not have much,” Isse said, “but we will do all that we can.”

“Then here is my plan,” Alphinaud answered, and began to explain.

“You're staying here,” Alisaie told him.

“Only because I know full well that if I do not, Lyse will not stay either.”

“Just so.” She turned to him. “We have much to discuss later, but for now – ”

He held up one hand. “Survive first,” he told her sternly. “Apologize after, if you still feel the need to do so.”

She hesitated, her lower lip trembling for an instant. Then she nodded, and turned away.

She and Gosetsu led the motley mob off at a quick march, and Alphinaud stood watching them, his arms crossed.

“Well,” Lyse said from behind him, “and now we wait.”


	24. Moonlight Over Namai

The smoke had cleared and everyone had retreated to a spot screened from the road by thick bamboo and large rocks. There had been no pursuit. The villagers were giddy with success, even though it hadn't really been a success as such, but I wasn't about to dampen their excitement.

Zenos was gone, in any event, and no one was willing to chase after him – not that I blamed them. Isse, still red in the face with embarrassment over his impassioned speech, was trying to herd the rest of the villagers back to Namai; every so often they'd all shout once more, “For Doma! For Doma!”

Gosetsu had half carried Yugiri away while the smoke bomb was still obscuring us; Alisaie's healing had returned enough strength to my limbs to let me run – well, stagger quickly – to escape. The big samurai stood now, gently supporting the ninja with one hand on her elbow, nodding as she murmured something to him too quiet for me to hear. They, like me, were not in the most celebratory of moods.

I was glad for the villagers, grateful to not be dead, but that was all I could muster up. I was too sore, too tired. Too cold inside, in a place that healing magic wasn't going to touch.

Even as Zenos had walked away, trailing a confused Yotsuyu at his heels, I had felt his aether, caressing mine. I had tried hard to lock my aether down, ever since Y'Shtola...but Zenos had reached out and tangled his aether into mine as if he _owned_ me. The contact had been brief, over before Alisaie had reached my side, but for all that, it had left a mark on me. A mark I didn't want, and a sensation I refused to acknowledge. A bad taste in my mouth, that I couldn't wash away. A bruise on my soul.

I shuddered.

“Are you all right?” Alisaie asked, setting her hand on my shoulder.

I looked up at her from where I sat on a rock, and patted her hand. “Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.” I couldn't bring myself to explain. She wouldn't understand. I wasn't really sure I understood what had just happened to me. “Thanks,” I began, but she shook her head.

“Don't thank us,” she told me. “Thank Alphinaud.”

I sat up straighter, and tried not to look too excited. “Where is he?”

“At the village,” Alisaie answered with a small shrug. “You should have seen the way he turned pale when he heard about Yugiri's plan – and how you of all people had decided to help her.” She grinned, her eyes glinting with mischief. “He was in _such_ a panic, barking orders, calling for a squadron to be assembled – ”

Gosetsu laughed. “As were you.”

Alisaie's cheeks went pink, and she huffed, “I was rather composed, as I recall.” She flicked at her sleeve, brushing off invisible dust. “Anyway, we ought to make our way back, if you're feeling able, Berylla.”

I stood up, and ignored the slight sway to my steps. “Let's go.” Seeing Gosetsu's smirk, I added, “I don't want Yugiri out in the open for too long. Just in case.”

The village was in something of an uproar when we got there, but it was yet a very happy uproar, and I didn't complain. The rain had stopped, though it was still cloudy, and it was rapidly growing dark. However, lanterns were being lit, and it was clear that the villagers were going to throw somewhat of a party.

I saw Alphinaud – and then he turned, and our eyes met. I couldn't have said how I _knew_ , but I did. When he stepped behind one of the storage huts, I eased away from the group.

I left Alisaie and Gosetsu to support Yugiri and help her get settled. Let the attention remain on her for now. I wasn't the hero of this part of their story, anyway.

As I passed the corner of the building, his hand shot out and caught my elbow, and I let him pull me out of sight.

For a moment he just stared at me, his hand clutching my arm hard enough to hurt, and then with a small sound his arms were wrapped around me, fingertips pressing into my shoulder blades. His cheek was pressed against my breast as I hugged him back, resting my cheek on top of his head. Both of us were shaking.

“Thank the Twelve,” he murmured.

We just held each other that way for a few minutes. But at last he sighed deeply and straightened, though he didn't let go of me, only let his hands slide down to my waist.

“That was a _most_ reckless plan,” he said, but there was no heat in his voice.

“I know.” I rubbed my fingers along the slope of his shoulder. “But I wasn't going to let Yugiri go out there alone. And I thought – I hoped – maybe the two of us could have succeeded where I failed.” I swallowed. “That...didn't happen.”

“And yet once more he let you live, it seems. I am relieved beyond words that the villagers reached you in time.”

 _It wasn't them that made him spare me. Yugiri, yes. But not me_.

I shuddered as the memory of that smooth voice ghosted through my mind. _He wants me to live...gods, why? What is his fascination with me?_

Alphinaud's hands rubbed along my back and sides. “Are you hurt?”

“Bruises,” I answered. “Lots of bruises. Not much else.” Except for the cold fear in my heart, but how could I tell him that? I didn't understand it, didn't want to think about it.

So I focused on those cornflower blue eyes, and leaned down to kiss Alphinaud's cheek.

His hand slipped up to curl around the back of my neck even as he tilted his face to capture my lips. It wasn't a kiss like the one back in the Toll. This was soft, gentle; a demure kiss, almost chaste.

Almost. His lips on mine still made me feel like I'd swallowed lightning.

I whined, very softly, my fingers digging into his shoulder as I fought to hold back. Primitive instinct wanted me to push him against the wall and kiss him more, and more, and – _damn it, no, stop!_

I managed to break the kiss, and leaned my forehead against his. My breath came in harsh pants for a moment as I squeezed my eyes shut.

It took me a moment to realize he was in no better shape than me. His fingers stroked the back of my neck, and I curled my hand around his wrist, barely holding on. His other hand was on my waist and he tugged at me, edging us closer together. He moved his head so that he could rest his cheek against me again, and I buried my fingers in his hair.

“Still...too tempting.” His voice was breathless. “But I – I couldn't...I needed...”

“I know.” My own voice was ragged. “I know.”

*

Alphinaud's heart was racing. Under his ear he could hear Berylla's heart beating just as fast. How much of it was fear and how much was desire? Did it really matter?

He was intensely glad he had been able to persuade the villagers to take action. He knew that Berylla could all too easily have died of her injuries at Rhalgr's Reach; if Nightbird had not been there so quickly...

No, he mustn't think such things. He tightened his hold on her, reassuring himself with his hands and his arms and his whole self that she was warm and _alive_ and _here_.

The kiss had perhaps been ill-advised, but he couldn't regret it.

He wanted to hold her longer – forever seemed a good start – but the others would be missing them if they tarried. He straightened, easing back, letting her go.

“We should...”

“Yeah.” She rubbed her eyes. “Time to get back to being heroes.”

“We have been offered beds in the best house in the village,” he told her. “I suspect you will be able to get some rest just as soon as you've eaten.”

“Food and sleep both sound great.” She half smiled, and he smiled back at her.

She had survived, again, despite the odds. He could only hope they would continue to enjoy such good fortunes.

*

_Dust coated my face, my armor, my throat. Blood trickled warm down the side of my head._

_They were all dead. He had struck them down as if they were nothing but dolls._

_I couldn't see anything beyond him._

_It was just me, and him, in his armor the color of a beetle's wings. His eyes..._

_I shook in every limb. He was the hunter. I was the prey. I had fought back as hard as I could, but even I had a limit, and I had reached it._

_I swayed on my feet as he stalked closer._

_The smile he wore made me want to scream. No enemy should wear such a loving smile._

_The air between us seemed to coagulate, everything around us slowing even as my breaths came faster and faster. He tossed his hair, glorious veil of gold, and those eyes pierced me. My heart hammered in my chest._

_He began to speak, and I couldn't understand the words. But the tone of his voice made it clear: these were words of love, words meant to praise...to seduce. They had the opposite effect on me: I began to cry._

_I cowered away from him like a child, a whine of fear escaping me. I didn't want him to smile at me!_

_But I couldn't look away. Couldn't move._

_He smiled._

_His sword lifted..._

*

Alphinaud's eyes opened and he blinked in the darkness, wondering what had woken him. Some kind of sound – he leaned up on his elbow and listened hard. Alisaie?

The whisper of someone moving across the tatami reached his ears – then the louder whisper of a door panel sliding open, then closed.

For a moment he was tempted to go back to sleep. But something bothered him about that furtive leaving. With a very small sigh, he got up, and headed towards the door nearest the room he had been given for sleep. He wouldn't have heard any of the other doors.

His stocking feet made not even a whisper as he touched the door and slid it aside. Moonlight drenched the garden, but left the back veranda draped in shifting shadows. He stepped out, and slid the door closed again.

A chorus of crickets filled the gently fragrant night air. But over that sound, he heard what must have pulled him out of sleep in the first place.

Someone weeping. And not his sister.

He looked to his right, then to his left, and headed left when the sound was somewhat louder in that direction. He was nearly on top of her before he saw her, tucked into the shadows as she was. If she hadn't hiccuped, he might even have passed her.

She was sitting with her knees pulled up, hugging them to herself, her face hidden.

He sank to his knees. “Berylla?”

She looked up with a small gasp, scrubbing at her cheek with the back of her hand. Her voice was thick, and he didn't believe her when she told him, “I'm fine.”

He shook his head and reached for her, pausing when she flinched away.

“Tell me.” He kept his voice quiet, but he tried to put some assertiveness behind the words.

“J-just a bad dream.” She hiccuped again. “Needed some fresh air.”

“What sort of bad dream?”

Her jaw tightened and she shook her head. Her hair was loose, and fell across her face with the motion.

“If you won't tell me about the dream,” he said, “tell me what you need, Berylla. Tell me what I can do.” He set one hand on her knee, and this time she didn't flinch. “Let me comfort you at least a little, my friend.”

At the word “friend,” she gave a small, strangled cry, and fell apart.

Her sobs were nearly silent, but she was shaking violently as she all but lunged for him. Her arms went around his waist, her face was against his middle, and she was sprawled across his knees in a way that had to be horrendously uncomfortable for her spine.

He put his hands on her back, then as she squirmed and burrowed against him, wrapped his arms around her. Their height difference made everything more awkward, but he managed.

She shivered, and he could feel the tears soaking his shirt. He did his best to soothe her, running his hands across her back, trying not to pull her hair as it tangled around his fingers. He had never seen her like this. Even after the bloody banquet she hadn't been inconsolable.

“Talk to me,” he whispered.

“I couldn't,” she hiccuped, “I couldn't beat him. And he liked it. No, he liked _me_. I don't want him to smile at me!”

“Zenos?” Alphinaud guessed, and felt her nodding.

“He _wants_ me,” she mumbled. “He's going to kill everyone else and then, and then, oh gods Alphinaud...I can't.” She sniffled, and then coughed. “I can't face him again.”

He slid his hand across her back, slowly lifting her hair and beginning to smooth the tangles away. He wasn't sure what else to do.

He could hardly reassure her that the madman wouldn't come after her, wouldn't harm her. He couldn't even promise to stand by her side when the time came to fight Zenos again. There was no way to know what circumstances would lead to the next confrontation, the next battles.

So he simply soothed her, silent, and let her cry.

After a little time, she quieted. Her grip on him relaxed, and at last she sat up.

He let his hands trail down her arms and kept his hands over hers – not quite holding, more like offering.

She rubbed her eyes with one hand, wiping away the tears. “Sorry.”

“There is nothing to apologize for. I just wish I could do more to help.”

She sighed, and bowed her head. Her fingers tangled with his, and she rubbed her thumb across his hand. “Maybe it was a mistake, coming here.” Her voice was quiet, the hint of tears still touching each word. “Are we even helping anyone, Alphinaud? Why does it feel like everything is just getting worse and worse?”

“You can't let yourself believe that we're doing no good at all,” he told her. “I understand why you might see it that way, but have faith.”

“In what? In who? Everyone here is so terrified of the Imperials, Alphinaud...and I've seen it, seen their memories. They're right to fear them. The things that the Imperials have done...”

Her fingers tightened on his.

“They haven't given up,” he said, his tone firm. “If they had, they would have turned all of you in to the authorities the moment we arrived, or murdered you with their own hands.” He reached up with his free hand and touched her hair. “And they stood up to the Imperials this evening. They came to your aid, Berylla. They may be afraid, but they are willing to fight, once more. You rekindled their courage, and their hope.”

She scooted closer to him, and laid her head on his shoulder, not letting go of his hand. “I don't think I did any of that,” she murmured. “It was you.”

He blushed, recalling Isse's desperate plea with the villagers, and his own words, that had at last spurred them into action. “No, they were already leaning in that direction,” he tried, and Berylla sat back, letting go of him.

Her eyes picked up the moonlight, glittering like gems, and his voice stilled in his throat. The look she was giving him made his heart stutter and then race.

“Whatever else you try to play down, never tell me your words aren't powerful, Alphinaud.” Her voice trembled. “It's always been you who finds the right thing to say. Maybe I am some kind of beacon of hope. But you're the voice of it.”

Then she leaned in, and brushed her lips across his cheek, before laying her head on his shoulder again.

He couldn't speak. His throat was tight, his eyes burned. He put his arm around her shoulders and tried not to lose his composure entirely.

“I don't quite know what to say to that,” he managed at last.

“Don't say anything,” she murmured. “For right now, just hold me. Please.”

*

“Are you feeling able to rest?”

Alphinaud's soft question made me sigh. “I feel better...but I don't think I can sleep.” I sat up a little, and rubbed the bridge of my nose. “I'm afraid that I'll just have that dream again. It feels like it's...waiting for me. Lurking.” I blew out my breath through my nostrils, a false laugh. “That must sound silly.”

“No, not particularly.” He shifted, as if he was getting uncomfortable.

“You could go on back to bed,” I began, but he shook his head.

“I want to stay with you, if you don't mind. If you aren't going to sleep, I'll sit with you.”

“You did this on the ship, too. Aren't you tired of it?”

“Never.” The way he said it quieted me. I couldn't meet his eyes. He shifted again. “However... would you object to moving to another spot? This isn't the best place for conversation, after all.”

“Have you got a place in mind?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

We got up – only a little awkwardly given how I had sprawled nearly into his lap at first – and I gestured. “Lead on.”

He padded along the veranda until he reached a place where a pair of benches had been placed. He sat down on one of them, and I joined him. Once I had gotten settled, he leaned in, his shoulder against mine, and we tangled our fingers together again. I let my cheek rest on the top of his head. He was practically shooting up in height, and I marveled at it just a bit.

“I want to ask you something.”

“You can ask,” I said. “I might not be able to give you a sensible answer.”

“Why is it that you give everything to others, and take so very little for yourself?”

“That's kind of the job,” I sighed. “The hero isn't the one that's supposed to ask for help.”

“Is that why you assume that I would _ever_ be tired of your company?”

“Well, I...” I cleared my throat. “I mean. You have better things to do most of the time. Important things.”

“You are important.” Before I could protest, he squeezed my fingers. “To me.”

I opened my mouth and no sound came out. After a second, I tried again. “Why?”

“Why, what?”

“What makes me important to you? I know what it is for most everyone else – I'm good at killing things, I'm useful that way. And I know not everyone's a Warrior of Light and all that, that's not what I mean either. Take away my axe, take away my crystal, and I'm just some sea rat who knows how to cook.” I rubbed my thumb across the back of his hand that was tangled up with mine. “I'm not fancy, or particularly smart.” Feeling him tense I amended, “Okay, smart maybe, but I didn't get a lot of schooling. I'm nothing like you, Alphinaud.”

“And I am very glad of it,” he answered. “I was never looking for someone like myself.”

“What were you looking for?”

He laughed, a low and quiet laugh. “When I came to Eorzea, you mean?”

I nudged his shoulder with mine. “No. In a, a – ” I couldn't say it. “A friend.”

He was quiet for a moment, then his thumb stroked my hand. “I don't suppose I ever thought about it,” he said slowly. “Back home – there were always girls, women, trying to get my attention.”

“I can imagine,” I smiled. “You're only rich and handsome, after all.”

He shook his head. “They were solely after my money, my family connections.” His voice was bitter. “They were elegant creatures. Beautiful, well mannered, with the best educations. My mother even approved of several of them. Had I wished, I could have wed instead of coming here.”

“But you didn't wish?”

“I...didn't hate them. But they meant nothing to me. They only wanted to use me, they didn't ever _really_ see me.” His hand tightened on mine. “You always have.”

“I can't be the only person that ever...”

“No,” he admitted. “And that is not the only reason I care for you.” He lifted our joined hands, and kissed the back of mine. “I hope to be able to tell you all the reasons for how I feel, but I fear it might take a lifetime.”

“Oh.” It was all I could manage. I felt like I couldn't breathe for a moment. I was glad of the darkness. It covered up my blushing.

“For now,” he told me, “I am content just to sit with you. To talk, or not. There have been many times when I could have – should have – been there for you, and was not. There will be many times that I cannot be beside you. Therefore, I will take any opportunity to be with you that I am given.”

I squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back.

The moon slipped down the sky, and dawn began to lighten the world around us.


	25. Messages

Berylla and Yugiri were with the healers, having their injuries looked over one more time. Alphinaud had commandeered a table, and was carefully laying out the smaller parts of the broken aetheryte, as well as the various tools he had brought, all on a dark green cloth that made it easy to see even the tiniest bits.

Alisaie and Lyse were up in the village, giving the people of Namai their first (very basic) lessons in warfare. There had been talk already of finding more weapons, of whether there were ways to salvage wrecked imperial machina and make use of them, and other speculation. Gosetsu was likely to be kept busy all day with such discussions.

Later, he would make sure to gather all the Scions together, as well as Gosetsu and Yugiri, to talk further on such details. But for now, he was waiting. The satchel lay on the corner of the table, and he was keenly aware of the two letters that remained in it.

At last he heard her familiar step, and stopped fidgeting with the crystal fragments.

“You look much improved,” he told her with a smile. She had on a new jacket, now, as well – a rather finely made thing of supple leather, dyed dark green.

“I feel decent too.” She stretched a little, and then cocked her head. “I would have expected you to be in the thick of the planning.”

“I had some messages to deliver first.”

She drew a breath as if to ask, and then her eyes darkened.

He lifted the satchel. “There are two letters,” he told her. “One of which I was most specifically told to share with you.”

“Not in here.”

He gestured. “Wherever you are comfortable.”

They ended up on a height looking over the valley. A rather nice, spring-fed pool was here, and there were plenty of smooth rocks on which to sit, warmed by the morning sun. Berylla picked one such, with room enough for Alphinaud to sit beside her.

As soon as she sat down, he pulled the first letter out of the satchel. “I hope you do not mind if I read it aloud?”

“Who is that from, anyway?”

“Nightbird.”

“Oh!” She blinked. “Yeah, reading it out loud is fine. I didn't expect her to write.”

“Nor I,” Alphinaud smiled. “I think you will be glad of it, however. I most certainly am.”

_Alphinaud –_

_Having heard from the General that you all have arrived in the Far East, I sat down to write this letter to you. Please share it with Berylla when you are able, as I am sure she will be interested to hear my news as well._

_I have been to visit Hara twice since you left. She is doing well, all things considered. She was most annoyed when last I spoke with her, because the orphanage was handling – or rather, **had handled** – an outbreak of lice. Every child currently has the same haircut: about an inch long all over their heads. It is quite the sight, and Hara is most anxious for her hair to grow back out._

_Would that an “ugly” haircut were the worst any of us had to worry about._

_By the time this letter reaches you she will likely be taking classes with the other children. There was an assessment period, to place her. I think you shall not be surprised to hear that she is far beyond her peers in reading. She will need much tutoring in mathematics to catch up, however. Her writing is somewhat better than Berylla's._

_She has had no trouble with her Echo, and her health continues to improve daily. The matron of the orphanage expects that by the time of Starlight, she will be practically unrecognizable from the waif we brought in._

_Hara also sends these small tokens. She very proudly told me of how she hunted up the perfect leaves for the purpose. She did not say so, but I believe she misses you both very much. No one has expressed an interest in her, but this is not truly very unusual; most families in Ishgard appear to value sons rather more than daughters. If I am honest...I am not displeased with the situation. After all, when she becomes someone's daughter at last, I shall not be able to visit her. I am sure that makes me some sort of sentimental fool. I am content to be so._

_Smudge, too, is thriving, though it was hard to actually see him. He is, so Jarilant tells me, in a **very active phase**. This seems to mean tearing about the house at top speed, and turning corners without moving his paws. I confess, it was quite entertaining to watch._

_Both Jarilant and Milinne send their love._

_I have had word from Estinien. His hunt continues; he has found traces of some sort, leading deeper into Gyr Abania, and is scouting most thoroughly before he makes any further plans. He is being – and I quote – most cautious._

_Little else of note has taken place. We hold the line, and many of the wounded are recovered. You will hear more about Y'Shtola from Krile than from me, I'm afraid; but I believe her recovery also proceeds at a steady, if not brisk, pace._

_I could say all the usual things, tell you to stay safe, worry about you. But I will not. Both of you are capable and clever, and you have each other to lean on._

_Nightbird_

_ PS: Has Berylla had raptures over the food there, yet? _

She laughed out loud at that last bit. “She knows me too well.”

“I noticed you seemed much more comfortable with the food last night.”

“I've even learned how to make some of it.” She grinned.

But her smile faded as he brought out the second letter.

He handed her the letter, and did not comment on the way her hand shook as she took it.

“If you...would rather be alone...”

“Can you...just give me a few minutes, and then come back?”

“I would be happy to do so.” He rose, leaving the satchel laying on the rock, and walked a short distance away. There were small trees – or large shrubs – growing along the path that led to this spot. They made enough of a barrier to give her some privacy.

My hands shook even as I broke the seal.

My eyes took in the words, but my mind stuttered, and I had to read it again.

_Berylla._

_Your letter, your words, are burned into my heart. And you are correct. A letter is not enough._

_I would extend mine own apologies. I made a number of assumptions, not least of which was assuming that you knew my heart. That you understood what I wished to give you as a lover, as a partner, as a friend. That you trusted me to love you as I loved Haurchefant._

_I never intended to ask that you change yourself for me._

_I am sorry that you and I did not talk about these things, not properly. I would see that lack remedied. We would both prefer to speak face to face. The things I have to say to you, to offer you, are too precious for paper. Though I concede that it is impossible, at this time, for you to return to Ishgard..._

_I must speak with you. I need to hear your voice._

_I keep the link-pearl with me, always. It will be easier to speak with you at night, of course, but contact me when you may, and if I am at all able, I will answer._

_My heart remains yours._

I held the page in my hand, and my eyes were dry.

But I felt strangely lost, as if I had been asleep and woken to find myself on some trackless plain. As if I had gone to sea only to find myself trapped in fog, drifting and blind.

I tried to think. He was not angry with me. Maybe. He wanted to speak to me. For me to call him. He...

The last line stuttered through my head. _My heart remains yours_.

With slow movements and more care than it probably needed, I folded the letter and put it back into its envelope, and tucked it into an inside pocket on my nice new jacket.

Alphinaud returned, to see Berylla sitting, hugging her knees, her head laying on her arms.

When he approached, she lifted her head, and he saw that her eyes were red.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“He...” She coughed, cleared her throat, and tried again. “Before we left, he made me an offer that I had to refuse.” She shook her head. “And then I ran away. I hurt him. But he...I don't know. He wants me to talk to him.”

“That seems a good sign,” Alphinaud offered cautiously. “If he wishes to speak to you, then he is at least still willing to be your friend...”

“Yeah.” She sighed. “I have to think about things for a while.”

“Do you have a way to contact him?”

“Yeah, I do.” She rubbed her cheek on her arms for a moment, and he stepped closer.

When he sat down beside her, she unfolded from her position, and put her arms around him. He leaned into her and let her hold him, understanding that she didn't want words right now.

That afternoon, the six of them gathered around the table that Alphinaud was using.

Alisaie stood with her hand on her hip, and started to speak, her tone thoughtful.

“Though the Empire has yet to retaliate, the fact remains that we have revealed our presence, and signaled our intentions in so doing. It is only a matter of time before the imperials move against us.” She turned towards Alphinaud. “Given that we lack the strength to oppose them, it is plain some manner of brilliant stratagem is required. Therefore,” her lips curved in a smile that was only a little barbed, “I yield the floor to the preeminent tactician of our time, with whom I was privileged to share a womb.”

Alphinaud raised his eyebrows at her. “If you insist.” But he didn't hesitate to begin speaking.

“While in Kugane, we debated a number of approached, and were eventually forced to concede that we cannot look to the Alliance for aid. Even were it possible to ferry sufficient forces and materiel from Eorzea in a timely manner, such a massive undertaking would not long escape the notice of the Empire. It would be a miracle if our ships reached the shore.”

“Which,” I said, “we knew already.”

He nodded. “Fortunately, according to Tataru and Hancock's intelligence, the Empire has withdrawn most of its forces from Doma in the past year, leaving her relatively unguarded.” He folded his arms. “That being the case, a popular uprising spearheaded by the full might of the Doman Liberation Front may feasibly be sufficient to threaten to seat of provincial government, namely Doma Castle.” He paused, and there was a bit of a gleam in his eye. “It would be rather easier said than done, but I have seen worse plans prevail.”

Gosetsu had listened closely, and now he nodded. “Then we must needs meet with Lord Hien and convince him to return,” he said, “for there is no surer way to inspire our people to rise up as one. He desired proof of his subjects' conviction, and they have provided it – through no less a deed than openly opposing Zenos himself!”

Yugiri nodded. “I will travel to the Steppe,” she said quietly. “I found Lord Hien once before, and I am confident I can do so again. Moreover, it was to me whom he put the question of Doma's resolve. I feel it my duty to deliver to him our people's reply.”

Gosetsu smiled. “Our countrymen's deeds speak for themselves. Lord Hien cannot deny the truth of their hearts.” He got a devilish look, then, and barked a laugh. “Too long has it been since I looked on his face. It would be of great comfort to see him again─and no small comfort if you were to join us in the search, I should add! I will wait no longer to greet my young lord and master! Nay, I should be glad to accompany Yugiri and bring him back home!”

I couldn't help but grin at his enthusiasm. “That would make three,” I began.

Lyse spoke, her voice thoughtful.

“I wonder what kind of man Hien is. From what I heard, he's about the same age as me. And then there's Fordola, who isn't a whole lot younger than us both...Like her, he was born and raised in an imperial province. This is all he's ever known. But unlike her, he chose to do something about it.” She looked up at us all. “I want to meet him. I want to know why. Maybe, if I understand that, it'll help me to understand a lot of other things.” Her chin lifted. “I don't think I could stand waiting around for you to get back. I want to go too.”

Alisaie's smile was a little bent as she looked at her brother. “The beloved king returning to urge his countrymen to rise up in rebellion. Not a story you'd ever hear in Sharlayan or Uldah, is it?”

Alphinaud shook his head. “Not in those words, perhaps, but no land's people is so cynical to be wholly immune to inspiration. Singular individuals have the power to move hearts and minds no matter where they go.”

Alisaie eyed him. “Mhm. Doubtless you speak from personal experience.”

“He does,” I drawled. “Since he's pulled it off at least once himself.”

Alphinaud blushed, and Alisaie cleared her throat and spoke to me. “As much as this Lord Hien intrigues us, Berylla, there are vital tasks to be attended to here – preparations for the inevitable assault on Doma Castle, for one. There is also the matter of coordinating our efforts with the Confederacy and our comrades in Kugane, dealing with this troublesome aetheryte─I could go on, but you understand.” She tilted her head a little, and looked back at Alphinaud. “As I said before, we've a million things to do here. Much as Alphinaud and I would love to join the search, we cannot. Right, Brother?”

“Aye,” he conceded. “So it goes. We all have our responsibilities.”

“We leave at first light,” Yugiri told us.

I waited until everyone else had moved off before I spoke to Alphinaud. “You're going to be all right, yeah?”

“Yes.” He swiped at his bangs, and sighed a little. “This time, at least, she is entirely right. There is much to be done.”

“I'll be the one making reports this time, at least.”

He looked at me, and I winked. He managed a laugh. “Never enough time,” he murmured.

“No rest for the righteous,” I agreed. “But, since we have what's left of today...” I ducked my head, a little embarrassed. “I'd like to answer Nightbird's letter. But my, ah, handwriting's a little...”

“I know.” His eyes twinkled. “I would be pleased to act as your scribe, my lady.”

I wrinkled my nose at him, and then I went to drag a second chair over to the table so I could sit nearby while we put together our letter.


	26. Sea of Green

The lantern cast a small pool of warm light over the table, and a small distance beyond it. The rest of the main cavern was blue with dusk and rapidly fading into the dark of true night. Alphinaud's pen scratched across paper one final time. He regarded the words he had written, and sighed. A good enough report, for now. There was much he yet needed to learn, but he would have at least some little time, while Berylla and the others went in search of the Doman leader.

“Alphinaud.”

He looked up. Alisaie had approached so quietly he hadn't heard her. She stood, her hands clasped behind her back, with an expression like a shuttered window.

He sat back a little, and began to clean his pen and put away his writing things.

“Alphinaud, I – we need to talk.”

“You may speak,” he said calmly, not looking at her. “I will listen.”

He saw from the corner of his eye how she stiffened, heard her draw in a quick breath as if about to snap at him. But she remained silent, as he capped the ink bottle and stowed everything away, as he folded the (now dry) report and tucked it into the message satchel along with the letter he had written for – with – Berylla this past afternoon.

He fastened the satchel and looked at her at last. Her eyes were dark and she was not _quite_ pouting.

He pointed to the chair beside him. “Sit, then.”

She moved, and flopped down in the chair, her hands resting on her knees.

“What is it you wish to discuss?” He knew, of course, what was on her mind – or rather, who.

“Berylla. Which you know.” Alisaie didn't meet his eyes as she spoke. “I wish to apologize to you. For...”

“Attempting to swoop in?” His tone was dry.

She looked up at him at that. “I did not believe you were...so serious about her.”

“She rejected you, didn't she?”

Alisaie sighed, and shook her head. She swiped at her bangs. “She didn't even register what I was trying to say. She's oblivious.”

“Often.” Alphinaud took a long breath. “I take it that this means you will...”

“She's yours.”

“No, she is not.” He frowned at his sister. “I do not own Berylla. As she would also tell you if you spoke to her about it in plain terms rather than hinting.”

“Then why were you so angry with me?”

He swallowed. “Not owning her is not the same as not feeling jealous, nor does it preclude a feeling of...insecurity.” He looked away. “She and I are...we've barely begun down that path. For you to sweep her off her feet as it were...”

“Well, I didn't.”

“Why?” he asked her, meeting her eyes once more. “Why did you choose to take an interest in her – now, of all times? Why not before this?”

She shifted her weight in the chair. “Does it matter? I shan't trouble the two of you any further.”

“Alisaie...”

She stood up. “I need to get some rest.” She dusted her coat sleeve. “Tomorrow will be a long day.”

And she was gone before he could say another word.

Alphinaud's sigh echoed through the cavern.

“Our last night under a roof for a while,” Lyse sighed, as we bedded down for the night. We would sleep in the House of the Fierce tonight; in the morning when we left, the villagers would be able to truthfully say they hadn't seen where we went.

We wouldn't be uncomfortable, though. Dozens of cushions had appeared – apparently the villagers were bent on making tangible contributions of all kinds to the cause, now – and we each had a few under our bedrolls and a few more for pillows.

Alisaie smirked a little from where she sat on her bedroll. “But we _aren't_ under a roof, Lyse.”

“Oh, you – ” Lyse threw a cushion at her. She caught it neatly and laughed.

“How often should I be reporting?” I asked her, as I got comfortable. “We didn't talk about this before leaving Kugane, and I don't want to be confused.”

Alisaie shrugged. “As often as you feel necessary, I suppose. Unless we discover that our link-pearl connection is compromised, it should be fine to contact us – hmm, I would say every other day, but I shall trust your judgment.”

“I thought that you and Alphinaud would both want daily reports,” I commented, only half joking.

“That would be silly,” Lyse laughed. She curled up in her bedroll, and yawned.

“Yes,” Alisaie echoed. “Quite silly.” For a moment, the corners of her mouth turned down – but then she yawned and lay down, turning her back to the room, and I thought maybe I had imagined that fleeting frown.

Lyse blew out the lantern. “Good night, you two.”

Alphinaud found me, early in the morning – so early that I was a bit surprised to see him. I had just got done getting dressed, and stepped out into the corridor to see him coming my way.

He took my hand and tugged me into a small alcove out of sight. His arms went around my waist. He didn't have his coat on yet, and I stroked his back, silk sliding beneath my fingers.

“There is much to be done,” he murmured, “but I – I would ask you for something before you go.”

“What is it?”

“One more kiss.” His eyes met mine. “Please.”

I swallowed, but I couldn't refuse. Not with those cornflower blue eyes pleading with me. Not when I wanted it as much as he did.

I leaned in, and gently lay my lips across his. I felt strangely shy for a moment – as if I had never kissed someone before. Foolish notion, and yet my skin shivered all over as he pressed closer. _Why does he make me feel like a blushing maiden whenever we kiss?_

This time, we both managed to control ourselves; we eased apart at the same time, and he sighed.

“Travel safely,” he told me, his hands slipping up, under my jacket, to caress my back. “Come back as swiftly as you may.”

I nodded, and rested my forehead against his for a moment longer. My hands let go of him slowly. As he stepped back a pace, he lifted his hand, and stroked my cheek.

Then, he turned, and was gone.

Mist wreathed around our ankles as we stood on the road just outside of the village. Alisaie stood before us, and smiled, her arms crossed. “We shall do what we can to aid the Doman Liberation Front in your absence.” Her smile widened. “We will refrain from conducting any large-scale operations in your absence, and instead devote our energies to bolstering our ranks and training our new recruits. When you return, we will be ready for war.”

Lyse stepped forward and gave her a quick hug. “If anything happens, if you need us to come back sooner, you'd better contact us. “Noble sacrifices” are a last resort, remember?”

“Yes, all right,” Alisaie laughed quietly. “I will be certain to shout for help should we need it.”

She turned to me, and I hugged her before she could speak. “Take care of him, and yourself,” I murmured. “I feel better knowing you're _both_ here, but don't get reckless.”

Her arms tightened around me just a little as she answered. “I will do my best.” Then she let me go, and stepped back.

Yugiri gestured. “Follow me, my friends. We have many miles to travel before we reach Reunion.”

But before we had taken three steps, a voice called out. “Wait! Don't leave yet!”

We turned, and saw Isse jogging towards us. He had a sack in one hand. He ran up to me, and held the sack out. “Here, take these for the road. It's simple fare, but it's the least we can do for you, after what you did for us.”

I accepted the gift with a murmur of thanks, and then watched with amusement as the young man shifted from foot to foot for a moment. His cheeks went pink, and he finally spoke again.

“...It may be stupid and naive of me to say this, but I will. When you come back, we'll finish what we started. We'll beat the imperials and we'll win our freedom! So...don't keep us waiting too long!”

Lyse grinned at him. “We'll come back as soon as we can!”

“We will return sooner if we leave,” Gosetsu commented, but not without a smile.

Another long tunnel – much longer than the one leading from the coast into Doma's interior. I was more than a little glad of the magitek lantern tied to Joy's saddle.

“This tunnel is not quite four miles long,” Yugiri told us, her voice soft but echoing off the rock all around us. “It is not much favored by the tribes of Xaela that call the Azim Steppe home. From my understanding, it was much narrower before the Garleans widened it for easier access between coast and mountains, but never fully finished, because the Empire decided there was nothing on the Steppe worth their effort.”

“Typical,” I grunted. “Still, at least there's a safe path. I'm assuming there are other ways into the area?”

“Most of them are exceedingly difficult mountain passes, but yes, there are many paths into the Steppe.”

“So – your lord Hien came to the Steppe for refuge.” I cocked my head, thinking. “From what you just said though, the people aren't all that friendly?”

“It varies greatly. There are many tribes, and some are friendlier than others. It is... complicated.”

“Of course it is.” I shook my head. “Once – just once – I would very much like it if the world would just be simple and straightforward. Just once!”

Gosetsu laughed.

There was light, at last, at the end of the tunnel. We probably had only been traveling a few hours – none of our birds was happy with the dimness, nor the echoing of every little sound. Honestly we might have made better time on foot, but I didn't complain.

The light grew stronger and stronger, and then the tunnel walls flared outward, and...

“Wow,” I breathed.

Lyse just nodded, eyes wide with wonder. Even Gosetsu was speechless for a moment.

“I give you the Azim Steppe,” Yugiri said simply.

I had imagined a flat place, some kind of plateau perhaps; or a place like some of the highlands in Thanalan – dry and sere and scraping by on the winter rains.

Before us stretched a sea, undulating and rippling in the wind – a sea of green. Not just grass – it was plain there were shrubs and such, and in a few spots, brilliant yellow or blue made streaks of vibrant color against the waving green. Off to the north and west, the most unlikely looking rock formation – shaped rather like a goblet, but the size of a mountain – and some kind of bright ropes seemed to run from the lip of the cup down into the grass. The haze of distance made more details than that too hard to perceive. A bone white area smudged the western horizon. The Steppe was enormous, and bounded at the north and east by mountains that dwarfed any peaks I had ever seen. For an instant I felt that we had stepped into another world entirely.

“Though I should mention,” Yugiri added thoughtfully, “that this is but one small portion of it. Despite the close proximity, Domans rarely venture this far north. Most find these lands and their people strange and foreign.” She smiled a little. “Fortunately, those who frequent Reunion are more welcoming than most. Come,” Yugiri said, tapping her bird into a brisk walk. “It is some distance yet.”

There was no road – not even a goat track – and we ended up riding next to each other, spread out among the tall grass. The birds loved it, and whistled to each other, beaks clacking with excitement now and then.

“So what's Reunion?” I asked her. “Some kind of local lord's holding?”

“The Steppe has no lord,” she smiled. “The Azim Steppe has been home to the nomadic tribes of the Xaela since antiquity.” She swept her arm out, a gesture that took in all that we could see before us, and more. “More than fifty tribes roam these lands, and though they do not constitute a nation, there is a hierarchy of sorts, determined through ritual combat...and there my knowledge ends, I fear.” She shrugged. “Lord Hien has no doubt learned a great deal more in his time here.”

Lyse made a thoughtful noise. “If they're so busy fighting each other, you'd think the Empire would be able to march in and take the Steppe with ease. I wonder why they haven't.”

“These lands were not made for men,” Yugiri answered. “The soil is thin, and the weather unforgiving. The Xaela found ways to survive, it is true. But they are made of sterner stuff than most imperials─conscript or citizen. As I mentioned before – the imperials decided the Steppe was not worth the effort.”

Gosetsu added, “Especially given the fierce reputation of the Xaela warriors who would fight tooth and nail to oppose them.”

Lyse smiled at them. “Thanks for taking the time to explain. It sounds like I've got a lot to learn. Later, I mean. We're meant to be looking for Hien!”

Yugiri had not exaggerated – but “some distance yet,” as it turned out, meant riding for just as long as we already had. Late afternoon sun gilded every west-facing surface as we approached Reunion at last.

_I've seen a lot of towns, villages, hovels, camps...this is_... I struggled for a word for it.

_Different_ was the best I could do.

There were tents large and small – but they were nothing like the fancy Ishgardian pavilions I had seen at the grand melee, let alone the simple thing that I sometimes packed for the road. There were merchants – but I had no idea what most of them were selling. And then there were the people.

I was no stranger to Au Ra – Yugiri may have been the first of her kind that I laid eyes on, but they weren't at all uncommon these days back home. But she was, as she'd told me, Raen; these were Xaela. The difference was – literally – night and day, if I had understood her tale correctly. I had only met one Xaela – and he'd been a pretty cranky fellow.

These folks – there were a lot of cheerful faces, though not everyone was smiling. Their clothes were colorful, everything they owned was colorful. Food smells wafted on the breeze towards us, and my stomach rumbled.

Lyse laughed.

Yugiri dismounted, and led her bird over to the fence that loosely defined the edge of the settlement. Clearly, one could just hitch an animal to any part of it. I tried not to stare at the horses, who were about as much like the creatures I had seen back home as a fine vase was like a lump of clay.

Yugiri set one hand on her hip as the rest of us followed her example and tied our beasts. “Welcome to Reunion, my friends. Here is where we will begin our search for Lord Hien. People from many tribes gather in Reunion to trade goods and information. I should be surprised if we cannot learn something of value here.” She tilted her head up to me. “Let us make our inquiries separately. Berylla, why don't you speak with some of the merchants here?”

“Sounds like a plan,” I nodded.

Gosetsu rumbled, “I see that there are warriors here. I shall go make mine own inquiries among them.” Without hesitation he strode off, and I half smiled, seeing the lively discussion of blades clearly going on among the group he was walking towards.

Lyse cocked her head, and wandered into the town, eyes wide and wondering. I expected she would accost folks at random – or strike up conversation with anyone who spoke to her first.

Yugiri smiled up at me, and patted my arm before making her way into the town, heading straight for the herders and their animals.

I stepped inside the fenced area, and began to wander.


	27. Strangers and Friends

I licked my fingers and contemplated where to try next. The food vendors – if I had been here just to enjoy myself, I could have spent all evening among them. Their fires smelled odd, but the food was great. Sadly, they had no notion of any Domans in the area.

I spotted a fellow with a horse – just the one animal, not a herder. He seemed to be very carefully brushing out the mane, but he was smiling. I approached, and he looked up at me.

“Pardon,” I said to him, “but I am looking for someone...a Doman man, his name is Hien. I don't suppose you might have seen...?”

“Ah, the Doman.” He nodded, stroking his horse's shoulder absently. “I know of whom you speak. He comes and goes with a Mol girl.” He shrugged. “Though I could not describe her. I only know that she is Mol because I heard them talking as they passed me.”

“Oh, then she may still be here?”

“Undoubtedly.” He turned back to his horse without saying anything else, crooning to her.

I murmured my thanks, and let him alone.

_A Mol girl, hm_. I sighed slightly. I had no idea how to tell if someone was Mol just by looking. _Well, I guess I just start asking ladies if they are of the Mol tribe_. I gazed around the market area. Most of the merchants were women. _This...might take a while_.

“My name is Cirina. May I help you?”

For a moment all I could do was grin at the girl in giddy relief. I had nearly had my ears boxed by the last person I had spoken to – what fault was it of mine that I didn't know Oronir from anybody else? – and I prayed fiercely that this was the only Mol in the whole damned place.

“I'm looking for a Doman, a fellow called Hien. Please tell me you know of him...”

“Oh!” She blinked up at me. She was a pretty little thing in her red robes, with a sweet heart shaped face, pink hair and unusual pale eyes, but her expression was wary. “Oh, I see. In that case...”

The merchant she had been speaking with interrupted. “How urgent this business must be to leave our conversation unfinished!” He rapped his knuckles on the table before him. “The kinsai. Will you buy it? There is but one bundle left. If not, then...”

“I will, I will!” Cirina frowned. “Though I had not thought to pay so high a price...” She gave him a hopeful look. “Masgud, can you not...?”

The merchant shook his head, frowning down at her. “It is a bargain for which you should be grateful. If you lack the coin, then the fault is your own, and you will leave with nothing.”

I didn't like the tone of his voice, and part of me wanted to bristle at him. But I held back, watching.

Cirina widened her eyes, and the look she gave him then would have given Tataru's “puppy dog eyes” some stiff competition. “Please, I must have the kinsai! The gods themselves requested it! We are bound to their will!”

Masgud harrumphed. I could see the calculating gleam in his eye. When he seemed to relent, I knew there was going to be a catch. “Pay me the difference in whisperroot. I will sell it to the next apothecary to pass through Reunion, and we will each feel fairly treated.” He scowled then, but somehow the scowl was friendlier than his frown had been. “But do not tarry. Should another come before you, coin in hand, I will not refuse him.”

Cirina bowed. “I understand. Thank you for this kindness!” She turned to me then. “I am sorry, but we must speak of Hien later. I cannot leave Reunion without that kinsai.”

“I see that.”

She started walking towards the north part of the town, which just so happened to also be the nearest exit. I matched my steps to hers.

“So what's this whisperroot?” I asked her. “Something you have to search for?”

She eyed me. “It is actually not a root...it is taken from the bodies of the dhole, the creatures that wander the plains just to the west of Reunion.”

“Well,” I tapped my axe. “I'm betting it would go quicker with two people, yeah?”

She stopped in her tracks, eyes wide with disbelief. “You...want to _help_ me?”

I gazed down at her. “Is that so strange? Yes, I'm offering to help you out.” I grinned. “For one thing, it means I get to pester you about Hien sooner!” But I let the smile fade a little. “Besides, you're his friend, he's a friend of my friend...so I'm hoping you'll let me be a friend to you.”

“I do not know what to say.” She shook her head as if fussing at herself. “Thank you!” She bowed to me, then straightened. “If we each harvest two,” she told me, even as she unlimbered a bow from her back, “then we should have enough whisperroot. Just return here when you have finished.” Her smile was wide as she dashed off. “Good luck!”

I watched her go, and laughed a little under my breath. I literally just asked to be given a chore. I could've just accompanied her. Oh well.

I walked out, and headed west.

It was a damn good thing the sun hadn't completely gone down by the time I finished. Without it, I would have had no idea where I was. The grassland really was like a sea – completely trackless. Some of the grasses grew taller than my head! And the wildlife was none too placid. I rubbed at a bruise on my arm, and sighed. I didn't have the right things to take the damned aurochs – or whatever it was – apart and haul it back to town, even if I knew who to give it to once there. Well, no help for it.

I gathered up the sheaf of roots that I had dropped when the creature charged me, and tied it securely to my back. Then, I took off, the sun at my back, jogging. Hopefully if I moved quickly enough, nothing else would bother me.

Cirina was standing just outside the gate, obviously watching for me. The frown of worry on her face cleared when I came up. “Welcome back,” she smiled. “Have you brought – oh! Yes, this is a good amount.” I was glad to hand over the roots. I noticed that she had not a mark on her, unlike me. She was a tiny thing, pink and delicate – and clearly a lot tougher than she looked. I wondered for an instant why the other tribes looked down on the Mol. Well, I would probably find out later.

I walked just behind her as she hurried back to the merchant's stall.

She laid the two sheaves on his table with a little flourish. “Will this quantity suffice?” Her voice was still mild and polite, but there was a hint of steel beneath now, an unspoken sense of “it had better be enough.”

Masgud smiled, a wide and satisfied smile. He nodded once. “It shall. The kinsai is yours.”

Then, he gathered up all of the herb he had. With a small wink, he turned, and reached into a sack behind him, adding a handful more. “The gods favor you more than you know, child. _Udgan_ rarely have need of such herbs, and so my stock is limited. Had you come a day earlier or later, I would have none for you.”

The odd word gave my Echo trouble – my mind seemed to stutter for a moment before finally the word “shaman” sort of wriggled up, as if my brain were a pond and such words were lurking fish.

Cirina gave him a very sweet smile. I had the feeling there was some kind of little unspoken game here, something I was missing because I was a stranger. “Perhaps the gods guided me here, as they guided Grandmother. As they guided this woman from the West.”

The merchant made a small gesture, then bowed to her slightly. “Just so. Go in health, Cirina.”

We walked a little distance away, and Cirina paused. She stowed her hard-won herbs in a satchel, then looked up at me. She was about to speak, when there was a bit of a commotion behind me.

I turned to see two fellows – one in yellow, one in blue – facing off. Words were exchanged, and it looked like there would be a fight – clearly both men wanted one. But before things got interesting, a third man walked up, and broke it all up – without saying a single word. All he did was cross his arms and glare at the other two – who suddenly seemed rather young by comparison to the third.

“What was that all about?” I wondered.

I listened to Cirina explain – how the Oronir were currently on top, how the fellow in blue was of the “undying” Dotharl tribe, how the silent one was master of the markets and also a Qestir, whose tribe believed all words were lies. I shook my head. “How does anybody keep track of all this? And there are what, fifty tribes? It must be complete chaos.”

“Not at all,” Cirina smiled. “The Oronir may prance now because of their many victories, but they know as well as any that their fortunes could change when the Nadaam comes.”

“The what?”

She giggled. “A great battle, held on the final day of the Tsagaan Sar,” she answered. “During this time, all bonds of hierarchy are broken. All Xaela are equal, and free to prepare for the fight. The tribe which triumphs in the Nadaam rules...until the next Tsagaan Sar.” The way her eyes tilted up at me made her look mischievous. “Which, in these lands, is now.”

I blinked. “Oh. Oh!” I looked back towards the two young men, but they had made themselves scarce. “So – everyone's allowed to fight right now? Well, except in places like this, obviously. Makes sense...kind of.”

Cirina nodded. “The Oronir are many, and strong. They have won the Nadaam many times. But they are not the only ones – many tribes have ruled over the history of the Steppe. Some tribes do not participate – such as the Qestir, who have reason to remain neutral.”

I glanced down at her, hearing a hitch in her voice. “And the Mol?”

She looked away, and her mouth turned down at the corners. “The Mol are as lambs among wolves. Long were we content to remain apart and live quietly, but...”

She was silent for a moment, and she looked so sad that I wanted to offer her a hug. But then she shook herself, and looked back up at me with a more serene expression.

“Now. About Hien. There is...something of a story.”

“I don't mind listening.”

“Long ago, my grandmother, having received a vision from the gods, bade me go forth into the southern mountains. It was there that I found Hien, near death from many wounds.” She spread her hands. “I brought him to our village, and there we nursed him back to health. Afterwards, he chose to remain, that he might repay us for our kindness. Domans set much store by honor and shame, so at first I did not question it...” Her cheeks turned pink, and she shook her head. “Excuse me. If I could see your map for a moment... Here─he has grown fond of this place. It affords him a view of the markets and the Steppe.” She handed my map back, and smiled. I couldn't help but smile in answer. She was awfully cute, after all. “I would accompany you, but I must return to our village to prepare my grandmother's meal. Thank you again for your assistance!”

“Anytime,” but I didn't get to say more than that. She was gone – jogging away at a pace that made me blink. If the _weakest_ ones among the Xaela were anything like her – what might their mightiest be like? For an instant, my mind painted a picture that made my heart race. Fighting against their strongest could be a hell of a lot of fun. And I had a feeling that I would get my chance.

I headed back to where we had hitched our birds.

Lyse and Gosetsu were already there, and as I walked up, Yugiri came even with me, with a basket in her hands. I could scent the food in it, and I smiled.

I made sure to let them all eat, and listened to Lyse as she related the rather silly story of a scholar – some fool bent on studying all the tribes and going about it in the most ham-handed way. Gosetsu laughed when she was finished.

“A fool indeed,” he chuckled. “Sadly I gathered no information, nor even amusing stories.”

“How fortunate then,” I drawled, grinning as they all looked at me, “that I happened to find out exactly where he is.” I flourished my map and showed them all the mark that Cirina had made.

Lyse lightly punched my arm. “Why didn't you say before!”

But Yugiri's eyes lit up. “Our long-awaited reunion is at hand! Come, my friends!”

She almost didn't wait for the rest of us.

The bluff really did have a great view. From here I could see much more clearly the strange towering “goblet” of rock – and the castle on top of it. Facing west as it was, the whole world seemed washed in red, including the man who sat cross-legged on the very edge of the bluff.

Gosetsu called out, his voice loaded with relief. “The kami are merciful! My lord Hien, I see you are alive and well!”

He and Yugiri both stopped and went to one knee, heads bowed. Lyse and I paused, a step back from them and a bit to the side. I eyed what I could see of Hien. He was dressed in a manner utterly like any other Doman I had seen so far – and not like any of the Xaela down below us, either. His hair was raven black, like Yugiri's, but it was wild and caught up in a high tail; I had a feeling it had never looked tame and never would. He had strong shoulders, broader and more muscled than most; I saw a hint of scars, but the fading light made it hard to really see much.

“Ah...you are come sooner than expected.” Hien's voice was thoughtful. “So. My blade or my head. Which would you have of me?” His words were far more serene than I would have expected.

Yugiri answered, her voice brimming with emotion. “The people of Yanxia remain loyal to Doma. I have seen the fire in their eyes – they are ready to rise up and fight. The time is ripe, my lord. Return with us, blade in hand, and lead Doma to freedom.”

Hien was silent for a moment, then he sighed. “Naught less than liberty will suffice, then? A pity. It will prove far more difficult to deliver than my head.”

The quiet way he said that made me frown. This man had prepared himself to die, and yet he did not sound like a man who had given up.

“But,” Hien's voice grew a bit louder, “if my people wish to pursue an impossible dream, then who am I to deny them?” He stood up, and I saw that he was tall for a Doman. Stocky, muscled, somehow managing to give an air of nobility despite his outlandish clothes – he held himself like a prince. He turned to look at the two who still knelt in the grass. “Yugiri! Gosetsu!” I saw him notice me and Lyse, and for the first time, he faltered. “And...ah...”

Yugiri smoothly spoke up, her tone perfectly formal, just as if we weren't all standing around in the grass in the middle of nowhere. “The Scions of the Seventh Dawn, my lord. True and good friends, who opened their hearts and homes to us when we fled to Eorzea. Far across the sea they have journeyed to stand with us in the fight for Doman liberation – to oppose the Empire, as they have in the West, where they are lauded as heroes for their many deeds – ”

Before I could open my mouth to tell her that she was laying it on a bit thick, Hien lifted his hand. “Say no more, Yugiri.”

He looked at me. “I saw how you helped Cirina, to whom I am deeply indebted. For that, and for the aid you provided my people, you have my deepest gratitude.”

He bowed – and then he held that bow. I took a half step back, a little uncertain. I knew I wasn't familiar with all the customs, but it was plain that this was not the usual thing, and I didn't know what to do. Was I supposed to bow back? Was I supposed to say something? I cast a glance at Yugiri but she was no help.

Fortunately Hien straightened before I could get too flustered.

“There is no doubting your strength, nor your character. It would be my honor to fight by your side.” Then – sudden as the sun coming out from behind a cloud – his whole posture changed, loosened, and a wide smile appeared on his face. He turned towards Yugiri and Gosetsu. “So! What of Doma? Arise, my friends, and tell me of our home.”


	28. Traveler

Once Yugiri had finished speaking, relating the basics of what we had so far accomplished, Hien stood thinking for a long moment. The sunset had bled away, and twilight wrapped around us, bringing a cool breeze that swept from east to west, carrying only the green scent of the grasslands.

“I have made my decision,” he said at last. “Yugiri, I bid you return to Yanxia and take charge of our forces in preparation for my homecoming. As for our esteemed guests,” he nodded towards Lyse and me, “I would ask that you remain here with me. I sense you will be of great help in the coming days.”

Yugiri began to bow, then paused, her eyes puzzled. “Your will is my command, my lord but...how much longer do you intend to stay?”

“Oh, only until I have won the contest.” Hien's voice was far too casual and I saw a gleam in his eye as he smiled slightly. Then, more seriously, he added, “I mean to return at the head of a Xaela army.”

“You – you mean to participate in the Nadaam?” Yugiri looked mildly horrified.

Lyse looked a little confused but also concerned; Gosetsu meanwhile looked merely thoughtful. I returned my gaze to Hien in time to see him cross his arms. His jaw set – stubbornly, I thought. His tone was stern.

“Have you a better idea? Consider how soundly we were defeated before. The Imperials may have since grown weaker, but we are weaker still. It would be folly to challenge them without first supplementing our forces. So yes, I intend to win the Nadaam and enlist the aid of every able-bodied Xaela I can!” He tossed his head, the wild tail of his hair reminding me of the horses down below in the corrals. His tone sharpened. “Furthermore, by championing the Mol in the contest, I can at last repay their kindness. Lest you forget, they saved me from certain death – and a man who suffers such debts to go unpaid is without honor and unfit to lead.”

Yugiri bowed her head, chastised. But Gosetsu was smiling, a wide, proud smile. “Just so. Just so.” He patted the shinobi's shoulder. “Our lord has spoken, Yugiri. But take heart – I shall keep him safe.” The old samurai's voice turned sly with humor. “And should it come to it, bring him back by force.”

Yugiri frowned up at him. “This is no laughing matter, Gosetsu. But if these are my orders...very well.” Her shoulders lifted and fell, and then she turned to face me. “Once more I place my faith in you,” she told me, her eyes holding mine. “Pray look after them both.”

I saw how worried she really was, and nodded. “I'll do my best.”

Without another word, Yugiri dashed forward and leaped off the edge of the bluff – vanishing in midair. _I wonder if that's the shinobi equivalent of leaving in a snit_.

Lyse gave me a sideways look. “Looks like it's up to us then...though it seems a bit risky. Isn't Hien meant to be the next king of Doma or something?”

Hien laughed quietly. “So they say.” He shrugged, all trace of the collected nobleman gone from him now. “In truth I am but a pale reflection of my late father. All the more reason,” he gave her a half-smile, “to entreat your assistance.” Then, he punched one hand into the other, looking as if he were ready to go start fighting this moment. “For ours is an impossible dream – to set in motion a revolution that will rattle the very firmament, and shake off the yoke of the most powerful empire in the world!”

The wind picked up, pulling at his clothes and tossing his already-wild hair. He made quite a picture, and I smiled a little at his enthusiasm. Beside me, Lyse looked just a little bit star-struck.

“Berylla Seahawk, was it? Once again, allow me to thank you for your many deeds in service to Doma.” Hien bowed to me, a full bow, one I had learned meant respect from one equal to another.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. This man was – had been? – would be? – a king. _I feel inadequate enough around Alphinaud some days._ _Gods, how did I get myself involved in this...?_

I sighed a little. _Because I can't leave things alone. I pushed just as hard as Alphinaud did, to come here and to do exactly what we're doing. Just because I feel socially inept doesn't change the job_.

Hien straightened, and smiled. He began to walk, making his way down from the bluff, and circling north towards the open grasslands. I walked beside him, while Gosetsu and Lyse stayed a few steps behind us. “For twenty-five years did my father rule in name only. My rule─if one would deign to call it that─has been naught in comparison.” His nod was firm. “That changes now. We have a purpose and a plan, and after we take to the battlefield together, we will have victory as well.”

When I didn't answer, he glanced at me, and that wide grin appeared again. “But you are a practical woman. I can tell. Disinclined to trust in words when actions speak truer. I can relate.”

Something in me wanted to smile back. It was nice to be flirted with a little bit. Just as nice, in a way, to know I was being flirted with...

But I kept my smile small and not  _ too _ friendly. Nice as it was to have some attention, I just couldn't take Hien seriously. I wished I dared call Alphinaud tonight.

Traveling to the Mol village was picturesque. The sky above the Steppe was so spangled with stars that I was honestly surprised. Was it because we were higher up, closer to the roof of the world? I wondered if even Urianger would know, and wished fiercely that I could capture the sight and make it a tangible thing to take home with me. Aymeric would...

I looked down and bit my tongue.

Our birds were not going at their top speed, but neither were they ambling. However, Hien was on foot – and leading the way, without seeming to be troubled by the pace one bit. Clearly, there were some tricks to long distance running that I had never learned. I was impressed.

Hien led us north, across the grass and a couple of large creeks. The wildlife got bigger – and a bit weirder – as we went. I had never seen morbols with _crystals_ on them before.

As we approached the camp, I saw someone dashing down from the watch tower and into the biggest tent – no, they called it a yurt, here. Hien smiled over his shoulder at us and let his stride slow just a bit, leading us into the camp at a sedate walk. Perhaps the flickering of torches hid it, but he didn't look a bit winded.

Cirina was standing in the door to the large yurt as we approached. A grinning young man – even shorter than Cirina – came up and took our birds from us, even as she greeted us.

“You found each other, good!”

Hien smiled back at her, and then gestured to us, so that we all walked in together, just a few steps behind Cirina. At the other side of the single round room within the yurt, an older Xaela woman sat on a tall chair. She watched us approach with the same cool serenity that I had seen from the Elder Seer back in Gridania.

“Temulun Khatun,” Hien said, with a small bow, “I am returned.”

The khatun – _chieftess_ , my Echo told me – smiled gently. Her voice was just as strong as Cirina's. “Ours is the soil, Hien. The Doman's and the Eorzeans' too.”

Lyse started a bit. “You know us?”

Temulun's smile widened, the smile of an indulgent grandmother. “The gods know you, child...as do the stars in the heavens, which shone bright at your coming.”

_Say what?_

Cirina saw the confusion on my face and explained, “The Mol hearken to the whispers of the elder gods, which guide us in our daily lives. We know them through the _udgan_ – like my grandmother.” Her hand gestured towards the khatun, and I felt a slight blush warming my cheeks.

_Maybe not a princess, but certainly the equivalent to a noblewoman. And here I was thinking she was just cute._

Hien spoke. “Khatun, I am come to beg a boon of you and yours. That I might liberate my homeland, I seek to rally the strength of the Steppe. To that end, I wish to fight in the Nadaam – as a warrior of the Mol. Will you grant me this honor?”

Cirina's frown held sadness and fear both. “To stand with the Mol is fruitless!” she protested. “Hien, do not do this! The gods may have willed that our tribe join the Nadaam, but...there is no path to victory! We are weak and our numbers few. Even with your help, it would be impossible.”

Hien nodded once, but his tone remained resolute. “I thank you for your concern, Cirina. But it is precisely because of the seeming hopelessness of your cause that we must needs cast our lot with you. Were we to join hands with a more favored tribe, our victory would inevitably be attributed to them.” I could hear the smile in his voice though I could not see his face from where I stood. “And no one would follow me to Doma.”

Cirina looked away, eyes downcast, and did not answer.

Temulun nodded to Hien. “It was the gods' will that we fight,” she said slowly. “Perhaps this too is their design.” She sat up a little straighter in her tall chair. “Hear me, then. As Khatun of the Mol, I invite you all to join with us in the Nadaam.” Then, she turned her head to her granddaughter. “Will you look after them?”

Cirina nodded. “Come with me, friends. There is much I would show you.”

Hien and the others followed her, and I turned to do the same, when Temulun spoke again. “You, wait. I would have words.”

I turned back to face her. Though she had to tilt her head up a little to look at me, I felt distinctly outclassed. This woman held power, power I couldn't understand, and while I was certain that she meant me no ill will, I was disconcerted. As if an entire mountain had leaned down to peer at me. She stared at me for a long moment, as if reading something written on my very soul. I tried not to shuffle my feet.

“A singular radiance,” she said at last, her voice thoughtful. “Shimmering. Like a jewel of the Dusk Mother, blinding in its brilliance.” She closed her eyes. “Stars flicker and flock to you. Before such gathered light, even the secrets of the gods may be laid bare.”

_What in the world is she talking about?_ I glanced down at myself reflexively. _No shining here, just dirt and sweat. What stars?_

She opened her eyes again, and her gaze drifted to the open door, where I could see Lyse and the two men standing, listening to Cirina. “Some are fated to rise in grace and glory,” the khatun said. “Others falter and fade, though not from memory.”

For an instant, Haurchefant's face flashed through my mind.

“Both will be your strength and your salvation come the end.”

I couldn't help it. “The end?” My voice shook a little.

She smiled at me, a reassuring smile, something so motherly that I had to smile back. “Cherish the stars,” she told me. “Cherish them and the light they bring you in the dark. For you are a _traveler_ , are you not?”

The word she used made my Echo shudder all through me, as if my _bones_ had chimed. It was even worse than the trouble I had had over _udgan_. I could not understand all the meanings shaded within the actual word. But my soul knew exactly what she was saying, even if my head didn't quite get it. I blinked and swallowed, completely unsettled.

But then she smiled once more, and waved her hand at me, another affectionate gesture that somehow made me feel like she'd patted me on the head and told me to go play nicely with the other children.

I nodded, and wandered out of the yurt, feeling as if the world had turned itself inside out for a moment before going back to normal...and as if I was the only one who had noticed.

Cirina smiled at me as I joined the others. “Thank you,” she said. “For coming here. For offering to fight with us in the Nadaam. Though I still fear our chances grim, I am grateful for your assistance.” She squared her shoulders. “To be recognized as warriors of the Mol,” she began, “there is a trial you must overcome. But before we speak of such things...” She grinned suddenly. “There is another, more pressing matter!”

“Food?” I asked hopefully.

Lyse laughed aloud.

There _was_ food, though it was nothing I had ever seen before; just as importantly there was singing. My Echo let me enjoy the words, but even Lyse seemed to find the music soothing without needing to know exactly what was said. There were a lot of long notes, and strange instruments, and I wished fiercely that Nightbird was with us. She probably would have been singing along before dinner was over.

All the music was to do with legends of the Steppe, so I was fairly entertained. One particular fellow stood out by sheer repetition – someone named Bardam. The children around the fire seemed to like his stories best, and certainly they were lively – filled with the sorts of unlikely deeds that I had become known for. I wondered if Bardam had been a Warrior of Light in his own time.

When the food was eaten and the singing was done, Cirina led us to a medium sized yurt; pallets were already laid out, and I was not at all loathe to go ahead and rest. In fact, I was asleep before Cirina blew out the lantern.

And for a mercy, I didn't dream.

Morning brought mist, and milk tea. As we sipped the tasty hot drinks, Cirina asked us to gather round. I was not at all surprised when she asked Lyse and me to help out around the camp; chores were at this point simply to be expected. But what did surprise me was that she was dragging Hien off for some kind of discussion with the khatun – and that I would be next, after the _udgan_ was done with the prince.

I shivered a little, remembering the unsettling things Temulun had said to me last night. Then I squared my shoulders. _Well, I'll worry about that later. For now, better to focus on those chores they want me to do._

Midday came and went, and I had just got done with washing up – though I could only wash my arms and face, the Mol had _amazing_ soap – when Cirina came looking for me. She looked a little tired, but her smile was as sweet as ever. “Please, come with me. The khatun wishes to speak with you.”

“All right.”

The inside of the yurt seemed exactly the same as it had last night – as if the light had never changed in here. It was an oddly soothing effect, and when the doors shut, Cirina dropped a tapestry across them, and the whole place became markedly quieter.

“Please, leave your weapon with me,” Cirina told me, her voice soft. “You shall not need it here.” I eyed her, then shrugged and let her take my axe.

Temulun was on the floor in the middle of the yurt, with a shallow bowl of what looked like rocks in front of her. “Sit,” she told me.

I sat down, imitating how she sat cross-legged, and reflected for a second that I would have had to remove my axe anyway – couldn't sit like this with it on my back. But my attention didn't wander for long, because Temulun was picking up the bowl and beginning to chant softly. I heard Cirina moving quietly, and then the scent of smoke – incense, a kind I had never encountered before. Coils of bluish smoke drifted past my head, and then Cirina came into my line of sight, pacing in a circle around me and the khatun, pausing every few steps to draw symbols in the air with a smoldering stick – which I finally figured out was the source of the incense and the smoke.

Temulun spoke. “Now, we will seek the will of the gods.”

I blinked at her. My belly fluttered, but I managed to nod.

“Breathe slow, and deep,” she intoned. “Feel the heartbeat of the earth beneath, the breath of the sky...”

Her voice soothed me, and I found my eyes drifting shut. My breathing matched the rhythm of her words, and then there was a funny feeling in my head – quiet as the snap of a twig. I opened my eyes, and looked at the khatun.

Maybe it was the smoke, maybe it was the chanting, but I was completely calm even when I realized that, though I could still see the yurt and Cirina and everything else, they were like ghosts, and I could see _through_ all of it – and what was beyond the walls of the yurt, beneath the carpet we sat on, all around us – was the sea of stars. Part of me knew that at any other time I would have at least been demanding to know how she was doing this, but most of me was just too...tranquil.

The khatun, and my own self, and the bowl of stones were the only really solid things. And now Temulun was holding the bowl out to me with both hands.

I reached out and let her set it into my hands. The bowl was heavier than it should have been, even full of rocks.

“Cast them before you,” she told me. “One handful at a time.”

Even as I dipped my hand into the bowl and scattered the first stones, I was wondering what on earth we were doing. And why? This was clearly not the usual kind of fortune telling.

The bowl was empty. The stones all lay in front of me, in a rough semi-circle, and somehow or other they had scattered in such a way that none of them were face up.

Temulun took the bowl back from me.

“Close your eyes,” she commanded, “and reach out to the stones. Your fingers will tell you which stones to pluck – you need only pick up three.”

I obeyed her, and with my eyes shut, skimmed my fingers across the stones. They felt like stones. I wondered what I was supposed to be feeling. Would I have to just pick some up at random – 

Suddenly my fingers tingled – the same tingle I had gotten from time to time during the winter in Ishgard, when the doorknobs in Aymeric's house seemed to all want to shock me.

I picked up the stone, and Temulun took it from me.

The second stone felt like ice; the third stung like nettles.

“Now,” Temulun breathed, “we begin.”


	29. Setting Sun

I found myself standing not far outside the village, with the wind in my face, shivering despite the sunlight. My eyes stung, and I blinked rapidly. I rubbed my temple, and wondered just what the fuck had happened. The last thing I remembered clearly was Temulun and her fortune telling.

_Smoke. Stones. Stars_...

I shuddered all over from head to toe, hard enough to make my teeth rattle.

Then I started walking.

Terrace-like cliffs rose behind the village, and I found a quite wide path leading up into them. Then, I took to the rocks, not worrying about a path at all. I sat hugging my knees, on top of the rocks. It was just about the highest point I could reach, and the view was excellent. I wasn't really seeing much though, as I stared out across the Steppe.

I breathed deep of the cold air, chasing the last of the incense out of my head. The fear was ebbing away now, too, but I still felt damn strange. Temulun had seen something – I had seen something too. I could remember bit and pieces, now – but it didn't make any sense at all. Falling? While surrounded by bubbles of some kind? And then what I _knew_ was a memory – Minfilia, and the Warriors of Darkness, saying goodbye. And then the whole thing started again. On the face of it, nothing to be afraid of – confused by it, yes, but terrified?

_I'm not cut out to be a shaman, I think_.

“Ah, here you are.”

I looked around, and saw Hien below me, picking his way up the rocks. He got to a point where his head was about level with my knees, and paused, leaning on the rocks.

“You look like you could use a little company.”

“I don't mind if you sit with me.”

He finished climbing up, and sat beside me. He seemed comfortable, and I wondered for a moment what Temulun had seen for _him_.

“I remember the first time I experienced a vision with Temulun Khatun,” he said. His eyes gazed out at the horizon. “I had heard tales about the _udgan_ of the Steppe, but I had never believed them...” He chuckled quietly. “Some stories do not need exaggeration.”

I turned my head, and lay my cheek against my arms, looking at him. “It was...weird.”

“Most unnerving,” he nodded. “It makes me glad that I do not have the so-called gift of prophecy. Such knowledge is far too terrifying for me.”

I raised my eyebrows. “I'm surprised to hear you admit to fear.”

“Only idiots have no fear, and only fools pretend to it.” He grinned as he glanced over at me. “While I may be foolish in many things, that is not one.”

Then, he gestured, pointing at a smudge of gray against the rim of the valley, to the north and east. “Do you see that?”

“Kind of. What am I looking at?”

“That is Ceol Aen, where, in the legends at least, a great hero of the Steppe broke open the mountains to reach the nesting places of the yol. It is only ruins, now.”

“And what is a yol?”

“The traditional mount of the warriors of the Steppe.” He grinned again. “A bird even larger than your chocobos, but fully flighted.”

I lifted my head. “Are you having me on?” Not that I hadn't seen – and ridden – bigger things, but the look in his eye...

He pointed again, and I followed the line of his arm – and saw six birds flying towards the goblet-shaped mountain. I peered for a moment – then realized how far away they were. How huge they were...

“Warriors of the Oronir, most likely,” Hien observed, “heading back to the Dawn Throne after a hunt.”

“Is that thing...natural?” I asked, hesitantly. “It just doesn't look like anything I have ever even heard of before.”

“The Oronir claim that Azim himself created it.” Hien shrugged. “There are mysteries here that might never be unraveled.” He let his arm down, and smiled. “I have become quite fond of this place, and that is one reason why, I think.”

I thought about how Alphinaud might react to even the few mysteries I had encountered so far. Legends and tales weren't his usual interest, but I could well imagine him being fascinated by the history that was contained within those legends.

“Though you are but new come to the Steppe,” he said, “I notice you did not struggle with any of the food. I had thought Eorzeans were unfamiliar with the ways of the Far East...?”

I grinned. “Oh, I was _unfamiliar_ all right, when we first reached Kugane. But I'm a quick learner. Especially when it's food.”

“Cirina doesn't often let anyone else tend to the cook-fires of an evening,” Hien mused, “but when I am alone out on a hunt, I have been known to manage reasonably well at cooking my kills.”

“Yeah?” I let my tone turn teasing. “A mighty prince, cooking for _himself?_ Shocking!”

Hien laughed aloud, and I joined him. Then, he told me, “Perhaps I should prove it to you some time. I am sure there will be at least one hunt before the Nadaam takes place.”

“Maybe I'll make it a contest,” I gave him a sly look. “I'm not just good at _eating_ food, you know.”

He looked delighted by that, and answered, “Then I quite look forward to the next hunt!”

Hien wandered back down the rocks, making the descent look ridiculously easy. I turned my gaze back toward the western horizon. The sun was setting; there were just enough clouds to make for a spectacular display of rays and changing colors.

Was Alphinaud watching the sun set, too?

_Oh, probably not. He's probably working. Just like Aymeric, always working too hard_...

I fished the link-pearl out of my pouch, and regarded it. I had turned it off months ago now. Would it truly be so simple? Just call him and...and...

I turned the link-pearl on. Set it in place. My finger hovered over the little button that would initiate contact.

The glorious sunset wavered in my sight. _I can't. What am I going to even say, anyway? Nothing I haven't already said. There's no way just talking to him over a link-pearl is going to be enough._

Instead, I touched the other link-pearl. A single chime, this time, before it was answered.

Alphinaud didn't even bother with the code phrase. “Berylla?”

“Yeah, it's me. Um. Hi. We made it, though I suppose Yugiri told you that already...”

“Yes. She also informed me of Lord Hien's rather – unconventional plan. She said he plans to win some sort of contest...?”

I explained the whole Nadaam thing to him, adding in a bit more detail. Especially about the fact that Lyse and I would also take part.

“You – ” I could hear him snap his mouth shut.

“I know this can't make you particularly happy,” I said. “It's kind of a dangerous and crazy plan. But – forgive me, but it's not as crazy than your own idea of coming to Doma in the first place. And Hien has a bit more going for him than we did when we got here.”

A long moment of silence on the other end of the line. Then, at last, a small sigh. “You are correct, of course. Lending your strength to him in this endeavor increases his chances by a significant percentage.”

“I think it will be an interesting battle, at the least,” I said. “There are so many tribes, I can't imagine what all their styles of fighting might look like. At least they all wear different colors. It shouldn't be too hard to tell who's on our side. Not like some of the fights we faced in Ishgard.”

He snorted. “There is that, it is true.” His voice lowered a bit. “I...have been thinking about you. Quite a lot. It is most distracting, at times.”

“Same here.” I smiled a little, feeling warmed by his words. “Are you outside?”

“As a matter of fact, yes...”

“The sky is nice, isn't it?”

“How does it look where you are? I confess, from the village, it is a bit obscured.”

“I have a very high vantage point,” I told him. “On top of a cliff, basically. It's gorgeous. I wish you could see it this way too. There are so many different colors...”

“What else can you see?”

So I told him – the sky, the sea of grass, the Dawn Throne – the strange colorful banners, the different tribes I had seen in Reunion. By the time I ran out of things to say, the sun had slipped beyond the horizon.

“I've talked your ear off,” I apologized. But he only laughed, a quiet laugh that made me tingle all over.

“I quite enjoyed listening to you. I imagine you need to come down from your cliff perch, however. Before it becomes too dark to do so safely.” More laughter rippled through his words.

“You're right, as usual,” I smiled. “But if I'm going to behave, you should too. Don't stay up all night working, okay?”

“As my lady commands.”

“Good night, Alphinaud. Sleep well.”

“I will do my best. Good night, Berylla.”

The link-pearl clicked off, and Alphinaud lowered his hand and leaned back against the cliff wall. He gazed up at the sky, and the stars now appearing.

She had not spoken of this prince, this Lord Hien. Not once. He had no impression that she was avoiding the subject – he knew full well how Berylla sounded when she was trying not to talk about something. No, she simply...had nothing to say about the man, it seemed.

It made him feel warmer to know that she had been thinking about him, had just wanted to talk to him. Her report at the beginning of their conversation had been nothing more than an excuse. That, too, warmed him and put a slightly giddy smile on his face.

“And what are you grinning about, you loon?”

He started and then sighed. “Alisaie, I do wish you would not sneak up on me that way.”

“I wasn't. You were completely oblivious to your surroundings.” She crossed her arms and looked at him narrowly. “Berylla contacted you, didn't she?”

He straightened, and smoothed a wrinkle on his coat. “Yes, she did. They are well, and staying with Hien's allies, the Mol tribe, just as Yugiri predicted.”

“Mhm. And that's all you talked about.”

“Alisaie...” He couldn't help but sigh once more.

His sister looked away for a moment, then dropped her arms. She shook her head, as if clearing it. When she spoke again, her tone was brisk, with no hint of bitterness or jealousy.

“I came looking for you because the last crystal is prepared finally. I need you to help me perform the final incantations.”

“Very well.” He gestured for her to precede him back into the caverns that housed the rebels. After tonight's work, the aetheryte would be fully functional once more. They had already warded the House of the Fierce, and parts of Namai, to the best of their ability – which was not inconsiderable. The villagers and the rebels alike would be able to hide themselves now, should there be any attempts at imperial reprisal. So far, their spies informed them that there was no apparent preparation for another “purge” on the viceroy's part.

Meanwhile, preparations on the rebels' part were proceeding apace. Soon they would have done all they reasonably could to train the locals. Weapons and armor were still in extremely short supply – but Yugiri was planning raids on the nearby castrum, which might yet contain some useful items, for all that the imperials barely used the place. In a day or two more, the scouts and the messengers Alphinaud had sent out would return, and he would have more pieces of this puzzle to fit together into a plan.

Alisaie spoke as they walked together down the tunnel. “I will travel tomorrow to the Kojin. I am known to them, and can likely convince them to join with us in this fight. Their brethren are still quite disorganized from our – mischief.” She smiled a little, looking pleased with herself.

He nodded. “I appreciate you making that journey. You three accomplished far more than anyone could have expected in just a few days.”

She preened a little, then shrugged. “Most of it was Berylla, you know that, brother.”

“I know that Berylla would be the first to say that she had done nothing special,” Alphinaud replied. He squeezed his sister's shoulder. “Let us complete this bit of work, so that you may get a good night's rest before your journey.”

She smiled at him, and they entered the large cavern where the broken aetheryte lay, prepared for the spell casting that would reawaken it, in accord with each other for once.

Alphinaud knew it would not last, but it was all the more pleasant for that fact.

I got back to the village, just in time to see Cirina looking for me.

“Ah, there you are! When Hien returned and you did not, I was a little worried!”

“I was just admiring the sun set a bit longer,” I shrugged. “What did you need?”

She regarded me for a long moment, her head tilted a bit, and then smiled. “I had thought to offer you advice, or comfort, should you require it. To hear the world beyond is taxing for most of us.” Her eyes twinkled. “Clearly you are made of sterner stuff than I.”

I shrugged again. I didn't want to think about the unsettling visions. Not now anyway. “Maybe,” I answered her, “but I think you and yours are pretty damn tough, yourselves. Nothing out here is easy.”

“That is true.” She gave me one more keen look – I felt as if she was seeing more than I wanted her to see. But she didn't say anything more, just beckoned me to follow her to the cook-fires.

There were stories and singing, as there had been before, and I listened and ate and didn't say much. When it was time to sleep, I lay quietly in the dark, listening to everyone's breathing. (Hien snored.) I couldn't quite make myself shut my eyes. There was a strange feeling in the back of my head, a feeling swimming around inside of me, like a shark just beneath the surface.

I forced my mind away from visions and prophecies and battles. Instead I tried to remember every little detail of the kitchen in Borel Manor. I thought about Milinne and Jarilant and Smudge the kitten, and wondered how everyone was doing. I knew Nightbird would keep an eye on them all. But I wondered anyway. At least I won't have to wait as long for answers to letters.

I had been spiraling around it for twenty minutes. I thought about Aymeric, and found to my relief that it didn't hurt as much, this time. The sense of panic that had risen in me for months was gone at last. I was still upset about what had happened, but finally I could think about it.

I understood then, that I needed to have some sort of talk with Aymeric, just as I had talked to Alphinaud. I wasn't sure how to begin – wasn't sure what I should say or even could say. But I was going to get back to Ishgard, and I was going to mend what I could. Even if he couldn't love me again, I didn't want to lose Aymeric as my friend. I had too few friends to let him go without at least trying.

Somehow, just being resolved to go and apologize calmed me even more. I closed my eyes, and the next thing I knew, it was morning.


	30. In the Footsteps of Legends

As soon as breakfast was done with, Cirina gathered the four of us together. Her pretty face was somber. “My friends. I must warn you. The path upon which you embark is fraught with peril. You will journey unto the far reaches of the Steppe to confront a terrible foe, as did the warrior Bardam in days of yore. Three days he battled with the demon ere he returned to his people. So it is written, so must it be. Many who follow in his footsteps perish, lacking in strength of body and mind. Therefore...”

Her smile was like the sun suddenly appearing from behind a cloud.

“We must treat you to a great feast!”

Hien grinned. Gosetsu scratched his head a little, but glanced at his lord and nodded. Lyse and I exchanged a slightly confused glance. Cirina gazed at us, brow furrowed.

“Have...have I said something strange? The hungry fox starves staring at the bull's testicles, therefore warriors should be well fed on the eve of battle!”

I choked back my laughter. _I should put together a book of sayings from the Far East_.

“She does have a point,” Hien said. “A brief repast may be in order, lest we collapse of fatigue in the midst of our trial.” His voice was full of barely suppressed laughter.

Cirina nodded. “Yes, just so! However, it will take time to prepare.”

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Lyse asked.

Cirina thought about it. “Hmm...we will need much fuel for the fires, today. Would you go and speak with Dorbei, Lyse? Even if he does not need your assistance with fuel gathering, he may have other tasks that could use an extra pair of hands.”

Lyse nodded, and trotted off. Cirina turned to us. “As for you three─you can help me with another task.” She walked a few steps away and picked up a thick leather bag. “For the feast, the gods decreed that we lure gulo gulo to slaughter with entrails. Perhaps you could be the ones to do this?”

Gosetsu let out a short laugh. “That your people look to the gods for guidance I understand, but in your daily meals! I say, your grandmother must be quite busy.”

Cirina smiled up at him. “Some days more than others. But every night we come together around the cook-fire.”

“Give over the entrails, Cirina,” Hien said. “We will bring you back a bounty of gulo gulo!”

Of course, Hien decided to make the hunt a little more interesting.

I had half the bait we had been given. Hien had the other half. He was betting that he could find and kill more gulo gulo than I could. _I could go all out and show him up, but that would be kind of stupid. Not least because I don't think the Mol could use up more than a dozen of these critters in a reasonable amount of time. This is not a place that forgives being stupid_.

I set out, striking west.

It wasn't difficult, but it did take a good bit of time, and I was a bit tired and more than a bit filthy by the time I came back and set down my kills in front of Gosetsu. He grinned at me, and helped me rig carry-poles for the carcasses.

We had just finished tying off the last of them when Hien showed up. He was at least as messy as I was, but he was wearing a wide grin as he set down the gory bundle of dead animals. “Ho! It would seem that, at the very least, you are the faster hunter. “ He winked at me. “ But speed is not everything. For my part, I slew six gulo gulo!”

Gosetsu laughed, and started setting up the other two carry-poles. “Six gulo gulo did she slay too! You have met your match, my lord!”

Hien laughed just as loudly as Gosetsu, and started tying up his kills. He gave me a knowing look, and his smile was less exuberant and more...fond. “ I know better than to expect the hawk to show her talons on a whim. Nay, when the time comes, I expect you will prove yourself more than my match.”

Finally, we had all twelve animals strung up on the poles. I took one, Hien took another, and Gosetsu hefted both of the remaining poles, one on each shoulder.

“After all,” the big samurai told me, “I did not exert myself for the hunt – it is only fair that I shoulder some of the burden now!”

“And with that, our game is concluded. Let us return to Mol Iloh forthwith─and let us have Berylla present our meat to Cirina.”

I smothered my entirely inappropriate giggle, but I saw his eyes sparkling and knew that he'd meant to make me laugh. “She should be impressed when she sees the quantity we have brought.”

And so she was.

“My word! Were you so hungry that you felt the need to kill so many? Well! I shall endeavor not to disappoint you all with my cooking!”

Then, she gently chased us off. I was a bit disappointed – I had hoped to get to learn at least one recipe from her. _Oh, well. Another time_.

Lyse was still out helping with whatever tasks she had been given, and I started to head out to look for her, and give her a hand. But Hien caught up to me at the village gate, and stopped me.

“We are both covered in blood,” he began, “and I...I know a place where we can get clean. If you like.”

I blinked at him. _He flirted with me back in Reunion. I suppose our conversation last night on the cliff could have been considered flirting too. I have a feeling he's got ideas_. I considered for a moment. _Well, we'll just have to see_.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to do about his interest in me. It was nice, but...

He was still waiting for me to answer. I nodded once, and said, “I am pretty itchy. Even a cold bath would be welcome. Let me go get Lyse – ”

“No.”

I raised my eyebrows at that. _Ah-hm_.

His cheeks flushed just a little as he hastened to add, “The water will be warm, right now. But not for much longer, so...we should hurry.”

“Well, okay.” I shrugged, and almost laughed when he looked both surprised and relieved by my easy acceptance of his excuse. Then he tugged me by the hand, leading me out of the village at a jog, down towards the nearby creek and then downstream, to the east.

After a few minutes we came to a little grotto, a place where the water had carved into the earth and the stone and made a small pool of sorts – a place where the water got caught up, swirled about for a while, then went back out on its way. The spot had been in the sun all day so far, and it was sheltered on three sides, cutting the breeze a bit. It was a very nice spot.

Hien turned to me, and set his hands on my upper arms. Like this, the difference in our heights was plain; his nose was just about the level of my collarbone, and he had to tip his head up to look at me. His hazel eyes searched mine for a moment, and I waited. I knew what he wanted, now – or at least I was pretty sure I knew.

“Berylla...”

“One kiss,” I told him.

He stared up at me for a moment, but he recovered fast. “Ah. Very well.”

Then, he reached up, curled his hand behind my head, and tugged me down. I let my hands rest on his shoulders as I closed my eyes.

He was a very good kisser. His mouth was firm, he was not too timid nor too aggressive. His free hand went around my waist, and he pressed his body close to mine. His touch was sure, confident, warm with desire.

And all I could think about was how Aymeric held me when we kissed. How Alphinaud had kissed me...

Hien eased back, and I sighed.

“That was nice.” I opened my eyes, and met his gaze. “You're a nice man, Hien. But...” I stepped out of his embrace.

He let me go without a word, without any sign of anger.

“I'm sorry.” I ran a hand through my hair, embarrassed by my complete lack of reaction to what had been a perfectly acceptable kiss.

“Will you tell me why?” he asked.

I stuck my thumbs in my belt to keep myself from fidgeting too much. Hien waited, and after a moment I managed to speak, keeping my eyes on the water.

“It just...it wouldn't be fair to you.” I felt my cheeks turning red. _Damn it, I'm an adult, why is it always so hard to talk about this stuff?_ I forced myself to keep talking despite my blushing. “I don't doubt that you could – um – get a response...that I might enjoy it physically I mean, but...” I glanced at him, saw him just listening, and not laughing at how dumb I sounded. “I wouldn't really be all here, if that makes sense? I wouldn't be thinking about you. And that's...that's not fair, it's not...not _honorable_.”

My insides twisted a little. I had to tell the truth, but I also knew that I didn't need Hien upset. I had to handle this the right way.

He nodded once. “I understand.”

“Wh – you _do?_ ” I gaped at him.

Now he laughed, a quiet relaxed laugh, and I realized he really was okay with my refusal.

“I will not deny that I find you extremely attractive,” he told me. “But any man of honor knows how to take no for an answer.”

I thought about the way Isse's sister Azami had been threatened by the Imperials. How many of the atrocities inflicted on Namai had been at the hands of Doman conscripts? Soldiers, who doubtless once thought of themselves as men of honor.

“Men of honor,” I said after a minute, “are in short supply these days.”

“Well, then,” Hien gave a slight sigh, “I shall leave you to get cleaned up...”

“You don't have to do without a bath,” I said. “I mean, you're a man of honor. I trust you to keep your back turned while I get washed up.” I gave him a sly grin. “After all, the water won't be warm for long. We should hurry, no?”

He laughed.

I dug in my pack for a towel, a change of clothes, a rag, and the little chunk of soap I had wheedled from Dorbei – the man in charge of most of the everyday supplies for the whole tribe, and the giver of chores – and shed my jacket. It was in need of cleaning, but I sure wasn't going to soak it in water, it was much too nice to abuse like that.

“If you do not mind my asking,” Hien said as he watched me rummaging, “Who were you thinking about?”

“Oh...” I shrugged a little. “Just, um. His name is Aymeric...”

“Oh? Is this the same Aymeric who commands the military of Ishgard?”

“Yeah – wait, how did you – ”

“We do hear some news of Eorzea here,” Hien grinned. “Not the latest news, it is true, and much of it gleaned from the imperials. Still, there were some astonishing stories about the man a few years ago.” He turned around and sat on the ground.

I stripped down to my smalls, and got into the water. It was not warm, not at all, but that was all to the good. I began rinsing blood out of my shirt.

“I confess,” Hien said, “Hearing the tales about him made me wish I could meet the man. He must be most admirable.”

“He's...” I swallowed. “He's a man of faith, of integrity. I...when I left, we were not on the best of terms.”

He was silent for a few minutes, and I got my shirt clean, then managed to get the worst of the blood out of the pants I had been wearing. I was setting the wet clothes on the rocks, out of the water, when he spoke again.

“Should I extend sympathies, or...?”

I snorted. “Hell if I know. I made a mistake, so did he, it's all a giant mess. But I still care about him.” I ducked my head into the water, and then scrubbed fiercely at my hair and my arms. I ended up using almost all my soap before the gore was off me. As I rinsed off – mostly by just ducking myself in the water and holding myself against the current – my teeth were starting to chatter.

I climbed out, and dried myself with my towel – really, just a bigger rag, but it did the job – and scrambled into clean dry things.

Then, I stepped around Hien, my boots in my hand, and sat down on a rock.

He smiled at me, and I smiled back. He really was a very nice man. “I left you the soap,” I told him.

“Considerate as well as honorable,” he chuckled, and took himself off to the water's edge. His eyes gleamed at me. “For my own part, you may turn your back...or not. I will not object, either way.”

I snorted a laugh.

This time, it was definitely a feast. Even Gosetsu and I were full by the time it was over. The singing and stories this time were all of them rousing, songs meant to stir the blood and stories meant to remove any flicker of doubt from the spirit. I was only a little surprised that alcohol wasn't involved. I was content with milk tea, though. It wouldn't do to have a headache come morning.

Morning came, and at last we were ready for the trial. If I wasn't completely turned around as to time, we had a mere six days left before the Nadaam.

Cirina took us to the village gate, and then turned to us. “As I mentioned before, to be recognized as warriors of the Steppe, one must follow in the footsteps of the legendary warrior Bardam. He embarked on a great pilgrimage, eschewing cart and horse, and walked for many miles, until he came to a holy place, thereafter named Bardam's Mettle. There, at the altar, as he did, you must pray. The altar lies deep within the breeding grounds of the yol. To complete your trial, you must tame one. Only then will your trial be complete.”

Hien nodded. “Fair enough. And where is the entrance to Bardam's Mettle?”

“You must journey far, far to the west─beyond Chakha Zoh, where lie the bones of a great and wise woman. Beyond the ruins of Ceol Aen, hidden within the mountains is a narrow pass. Follow it, and you will come to Bardam's Mettle.”

I glanced over at Hien, remembering how he had pointed out the ruins of Ceol Aen the other night.

Beside me, Lyse crossed her arms and hummed thoughtfully. “Sounds to me like it'll be a trial just getting to the trial.”

Cirina looked very solemn. “More than you may know. On the eve of the Naadam, many strive to improve their fortunes─some by abducting and enslaving the warriors of other tribes. Be ever mindful of your surroundings, lest you be taken as well.”

 _Enslaving?_ I frowned. Then, I nodded once. _Just let 'em try. They'll wish they had grabbed a mammoth by the balls instead._

Hien laughed, and I looked at him.

“Hah! What grim expressions you wear while nodding so powerfully!” He shook his head. “Warriors such as you are not like to fall en route to a mere rite of passage. We shall proceed with all due caution, yes, but let us not worry overmuch.” He reached out and squeezed my shoulder. “We will overcome this trial, and the next, and the next, until we stand triumphant. That is all there is to it, no?”

Before I could point out that no, that was not quite the case, he was already turning and heading off.

“With me, my friends! To the west! To Bardam's Mettle!”

Cirina called out after him, “W-Wait, Hien! Oh dear. I knew I would forget.”

And indeed, he and Gosetsu both were already out of sight around the rocks. I shook my head. Cirina turned to me, and held out a small pouch.

“Here─take these whistles. Once tamed, your yol will hearken to their call.”

Lyse smiled. “Thanks. We'll try them out once we've finished the trial.” She turned to me. “Let's catch up to Hien and Gosetsu!”

I set my hand on Cirina's shoulder. She looked up at me, forcing a smile.

“It is indeed a perilous journey, but I know you will succeed─as I once did.”

“We will _all_ see you soon. I promise.”

Lyse and I had managed to learn the trick of running on the Steppe, but neither of us was as fast as Hien. Still, we kept a steady pace, and kept our eyes and ears open. If anyone was going to try and grab us, they'd not have an easy time of it.

“We still have a long way to go, but I think I can see that monument Cirina talked about.” Lyse pointed, and I saw the tilted tower. “I don't see Hien or Gosetsu, though. We should hurry!”

We cut north a bit, closer to the cliffs, in hopes that the sheer rocks might serve as a bit of protection from one side. But my skin prickled more and more as we kept heading west.

Finally, Lyse spoke up, while we paused for a short break and a drink of water. “Hey...I don't know about you, but I can't shake the feeling someone's watching us.”

“There's someone there for sure. More than one.”

We put up our water-skins, and I glanced at her. “Shall we wait for our suitors?”

She snorted. “Sure.”

So we stayed still a moment longer, and our patience was rewarded by the sight of a Xaela man, in green robes, approaching cautiously, spear raised. Not a second later, from another spot, a yellow robed fellow appeared. I rolled my eyes. “Such fierce warriors the Steppe offers up,” I called out, mocking.

That was all it took. They charged us.

Lyse leaped up and forward even as the spear wielder stabbed at her. Her foot touched the haft of his spear and then her other foot swept forward and knocked him in the head. He went down with a gargled shout of pain, spear clattering on the rocks.

The yellow robe raised his hands – dark energy surrounded his fingers – and then he was cursing as I rushed into him, spoiling his spell and knocking him flat on his ass. I swept my axe downward and twisted, and knocked him unconscious with the flat of the blade. Maybe I'm a fool, but I don't see any need to murder more people than I absolutely have to right now.

Lyse looked to me, and we both nodded and started running west. The would-be abductors had shown their hand; there would be more skirmishes soon enough.


	31. The Mettle

Gosetsu waved to me. “Here!”

Lyse and I jogged over. There had been far too many fellows wanting to stop us from getting here, but none of them had been any particular challenge. Still, we'd gotten here at last.

I looked around. “Huh. Doesn't look like much.”

It didn't. There were a pair of carved pillars and beyond them, a plain old path, covered in the same tough short grass as the area right in front of the entrance. The path innocently wound up and out of sight. It looked like nothing more than a nicely marked mountain pass.

Hien shrugged as I looked over at him. “This is the place,” he assured us. “Nothing left but to begin, then.”

He turned to face the rest of us, hands on his hips. “To complete the trial, we must each pass through Bardam's Mettle and tame a yol. How precisely we are to do this, I am not sure, but since countless warriors before us have succeeded, I imagine we'll muddle through somehow...”

He paused for a moment, thinking. I crossed my arms and waited, and he glanced up and shook his head, making his wild ponytail bounce. “But enough talk! We have a Naadam to win!”

Lyse turned to me, her eyes bright. “First the trial, then the Naadam, then Doma, then Ala Mhigo! We'll be back home before you know it!” And with that, she ran beyond the pillars and up the path, out of sight.

Gosetsu grunted and followed after her at a slower pace.

Hien looked at me, and smiled – for the first time, a smile a touch less than fully confident. “Quite frankly, if I cannot convince a large bird to follow me, then what hope do I have with the Xaela?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Or my own countrymen, for that matter.”

“Oh, I'm sure you'll be persuasive enough,” I smiled. “You're good at sweet talking.”

That made him grin again, and he waved his hand, a little salute of sorts. “Then I will see you when all is done,” he told me, and turned around to jog past the pillars. I waited until he was out of sight, and then headed inside.

I came back out again and squinted at the sun. Surely that had taken more than a mere hour? It had felt like a lot longer...but then again _something_ was weird in there. Not once I had seen any trace of the others.

I heard a footstep and turned around. Lyse gave me a little wave as she joined me.

“I should've known you'd be the first to make it through,” she smiled. “I'm assuming you had no trouble? Good, good. I managed somehow, as you may have guessed. Looks like Hien and Gosetsu are still in there, though. Nothing for it but to wait, then.”

“Fine by me.” I stretched, enjoying the way my muscles sort of sang with pleasant weariness. I wasn't exhausted, but I had gotten quite a workout, in there.

“While we're waiting...” Lyse looked over at me, biting her lip a little. “D'you want to – you know, pass the time?”

I blinked at her. “What...right here?”

“Yeah, why not?”

I opened my mouth, then shut it. Her eyes gleamed, and I felt my whole body suddenly shudder. My blood was up, for sure – and there was no telling when I might get another chance to let off some steam. On top of all that, I knew I could trust Lyse – as I realized, I could not yet trust Hien. I didn't know Hien, not really. Lyse, though...

“Find us a spot, then,” I told her, with a little grin. “This grass looks awfully damn itchy.”

She laughed and led me over to the cliff wall.

The sun had warmed the stones quite well, and it didn't take Lyse but a minute to find a spot with a big enough flat spot, and the added benefit of having two very large boulders acting as further “walls,” granting us a bit more privacy.

Neither one of us wasted time. My belt hit the ground even as Lyse grabbed me to kiss me, pushing me up against the cliff wall. I peeled out of my jacket and tossed it onto the slab of rock beside us, and then curled one hand around the back of her neck. I cupped her ass in my other hand, and then I crushed her to me, lifting her off the ground an inch or two. She laughed into my mouth and tangled her fingers in my hair, hanging onto me like a monkey.

I grabbed her ass with both my hands, and lifted her just a little more. She wrapped her legs around me while I turned us around, so that I could brace her back against the rock. Once I had her pinned that way, I unfastened her pants as fast as I could manage, while she kept right on kissing me.

Finally, I was able to yank her pants loose, just enough to allow my hand down inside. Holding her to me with my other hand, I cupped her hot sex and slipped two fingers in with no preliminaries.

She yipped a little, and threw her arms around my neck, hips grinding. She muttered something into my hair and then her teeth were on me, nipping my collarbone and my neck.

I showed her no mercy, fucking her with fast strokes, twisting my fingers now and again, until she was writhing against me, whimpering. “ _More_ , dammit...” Her breath was hot against my ear. She nibbled my earlobe, then moaned sharply as I brought my thumb against her clit. “Yes, ah gods Berylla...mm, make me...yes – oh – _oh, fuck_ – ah!”

She tensed in my arms, and I felt her coming on my hand, but she kept riding against my fingers. The way she drove herself on, the sound of her moans in my ear, sparked something in me, and I shifted her so that I could get my fingers even deeper into her sex. She threw her head back and cried out, and I set my teeth against her pulse and suckled against the flesh, making her buck and squeal.

I worked her feverishly, making sure she didn't completely come down off the high, as her cries rang out against the rocks. I muttered against her flesh as I kissed and bit at her, commanding her to come again, again, _again_.

And come she did, until she shrieked one last time and fell back against the rock, gasping and beginning to sob. “Please,” she panted, “no more, no more, _gods_ , Berylla...”

I eased my fingers out of her, and set her down on top of my jacket, being as gentle as I could. I trailed soft kisses over all the places I had just been biting. I was shaking nearly as much as she was, and I knew my smalls were soaked. Even without her touching my sex, I had gotten one hell of a thrill.

It took her a minute to get her breath back, but all the while her hands fluttered across me. I eased her pants back into place, and stroked her cheeks with tender fingers.

When I kissed her, she skimmed her hands over my breasts. Even with my shirt on, the touch was more than enough to make my already hard nipples tingle wonderfully, and I moaned.

I yanked my pants open, and tugged them down, even as she pushed at me to get me part way onto my back. She pulled my shirt up to expose my breasts, and I opened my legs for her. The stone was warm under my ass cheeks, but not as warm as her mouth on my nipples. I cupped her head with one hand and hissed in pleasure. “Lyse!”

She leaned up to kiss me, and then went right back to attacking my breasts, kneading them and feasting on them. Slowly her hand stole down my belly and over my mound, and I whimpered. “Please... _please_ , Lyse, gods, I – I – ahhhhh _yes_ do that – ”

She hummed against my breast, even as she slipped her fingers inside my dripping-wet sex. I pressed into her, my eyes rolling back in my head for a moment at the way she rolled her thumb against my clit. “Too good,” I gritted. “So damn _good_ , Lyse – I'm already – close...”

No sooner had I said the words than I was coming, gasping, my hands flung wide and scrabbling at the stone beneath me even as my back arched. Just as I had done to her, Lyse didn't stop for even a moment, adding a third finger and fucking me hard, finding just the spot to keep me at the peak. My hips rose and fell, and my wild cries flew out into the air like birds. It didn't take anywhere near as long for me to reach my limit; soon enough it was me crying for mercy.

She let me down, caressing and teasing me as she did, so that I shuddered and yelped a few times before she finally extricated her hand from my pants.

We lay there, staring up at the sky, for a couple minutes. “Halone's _tits_ ,” I managed at last. “Whew. When you get riled up, Lyse, good gods, you're somethin' else.”

She stretched and laughed, a smug sound. “You're a fine one to talk, especially after all your conquests back in Ishgard.”

I blushed. “You make it sound like I was sampling every prick in the city.”

She started to giggle, and the sound was so infectious that I couldn't help but laugh too. Pretty soon we were both wheezing, unable to really laugh, tears leaking from the corners of our eyes.

“Fuck, I needed that.”

“The laugh or the sex?” I managed to sit up, tugging my clothes back into place.

“Yes.”

I wheezed one more laugh, and retrieved my belt from where I had dropped it. When I got myself put back together, Lyse put her arms around my waist, and rested her head on my chest.

“Thanks.” She rubbed her cheek against me. “It's good to have a good friend, out here so far away from everything I know. I just want you to know that...that I'm glad you're here.”

I hugged her. “Back at you, honey.” Then I let her go. “Come on, let's see if those two layabouts are back yet.”

Hien and Gosetsu were just walking up as we came back around the rocks. Lyse waved at them, and for a few minutes we chatted. Lyse was excited about the birds, and Hien seemed pleased to let her talk. I could read it in his posture and Gosetsu's – now was the time to relax. We had passed our trial, after all, we were officially warriors of the Steppe and of the Mol. All that remained for now was to handle the Nadaam itself. Six more days...

It was Hien who noticed when company arrived. His smile fell away and he frowned. Lyse and I turned to see what he was looking at, and I heard Lyse curse under her breath.

Seven in yellow, and four more in green – three of the Oronir were women, but all of them wore similarly grim expressions. Of them all, only the green clad fellows held their weapons at the ready. I wondered if the fact that all four of them had spears was part of why. These folks had a different attitude than the ones who'd attempted to capture us before. They were in no hurry, and they would not let us escape without a real fight.

It was fairly plain who the leader of this group was; not only was he in the front, he was the tallest. When he spoke, his words were so haughty that I wanted to smack him just on principle.

“You! Newborn warriors of the Steppe. Our khan demands an audience. You will come.”

All four of us gave him a long look. Hien crossed his arms. Lyse and I turned our shoulders to the lot of them, and looked to the young prince.

Lyse kept her voice quiet. “What should we do?” Her shoulders were tight, her hands not quite curling into fists; her weight was forward onto her toes and her eyes kept flicking back to the waiting warriors. I itched to unlimber my axe. We had dealt with four or five at a time before this, just us two – with all four of us in the mix I had no doubt we could eliminate all eleven of our opponents. It might not be an _easy_ fight, but I wasn't the least bit scared, especially not with the obvious looks of expectation on their smug faces. They thought they had the upper hand, and it made me really, _really_ want to prove to them just how wrong they were.

Hien looked and sounded as if we were just standing in front of the village gates, with a gaggle of little kids in front of us. “Ordinarily,” he told Lyse, his eyes never leaving the Oronir leader, “I would politely decline. But this may be an opportunity to assess their strength, and we do have some time before the Nadaam begins.”

Lyse gaped at him, and I raised my eyebrows. The corner of his mouth lifted for just an instant.

“If all goes to plan,” he added, “they will be fighting for us soon enough.”

He gave the Oronir a smirk of his own, confident and condescending. But he still spoke to us.

“What say you? Shall we go and greet our comrades-to-be?”

“You're crazy. Completely fucking insane,” I said, but I couldn't keep the admiration out of my voice. Then I grinned, putting a bit of bloodthirstiness into it as well as my own measure of confidence. It was a smile that made some of the other Oronir take a half step back.

“Let's do it,” I said.

Lyse was not quite so confident, and she gave Hien a narrow look. “Whatever happens,” she said, “we shouldn't keep Cirina and the others waiting. Let's be ready to make a swift exit, all right?”

Hien nodded once, and then stepped forward. His posture and his tone changed to something every bit as arrogant as the worst Dzemael I'd ever met, dripping with pride and sarcasm.

“We accept your khan's generous invitation. Lead the way.”


	32. The Grace of the Sun

They let us ride our new bird companions, at least. A good thing for them, as it took less time; a good thing for us, because riding a yol was not at all the same as riding a chocobo.

The first thing I noticed as we followed the rest in for a landing was the truly impressive castle that dominated the flat top of the Dawn Throne. It certainly looked the part of a dwelling meant for kings, though it also looked nothing like any castle I had seen pictures of before.

Hien seemed quite impressed too, and I took that to mean that the structure was, indeed, special even for the Far East's way of thinking.

Almost all of our escort peeled off before actually landing; when my bird touched down at last, only the leader remained. We dismounted, and walked after the fellow – Gosetsu staying at Hien's right hand, me walking behind the young prince, and Lyse at my elbow.

She glanced up as we approached the entrance to the castle, and my eyes followed hers. Two banners on each side – one yellow, the other the same forest green as those four spear wielding fellows from our “honor guard.”

“It isn't just Oronir we're dealing with,” she murmured.

I nodded. It seemed obvious, especially as I noticed that a good third of the men in the village wore the same green, and walked about as if they were residents, not guests.

I wasn't sure what it really meant – the way Cirina had described the Nadaam, it was every tribe for themselves. There had to be some reason for two tribes to be sharing space so closely.

Well, I suppose I'll find out sooner or later. I eyed the guards we passed, noting that they all looked quite capable and not terribly friendly. Hopefully, sooner.

The throne room was lit with large braziers, but it was anything but cheerful. I couldn't help but compare this dour atmosphere with the cheeriness of Camp Dragonhead. The amount of illumination was the same. The people were, emphatically, not.

The man sitting on the throne at the head of the room was impressive looking, in his way. the axe leaning beside him was certainly impressive. Golden eyes regarded the four of us with no warmth in them. In front of him, and somewhat to his left, stood another of the green-clad folks; this one had a look to him of a leader, but his attention seemed riveted on Hien.

Our escort bowed low, and and murmured in a low tone. All I caught was the name: Magnai.

Magnai was so full of arrogance I could taste it; the arrogance of someone who has never lost a battle in his life. I immediately had the urge to take him down several pegs. I had to work not to sneer at him, to maintain my mask of Stoic Hero. I knew that if I did not remain still and silent, I would pick a fight with him. Poor diplomatic manners, at the very least. The thought made me smile a little on the inside, and cooled my irritation some.

“You conquered Bardam's Mettle.”

Hien crossed his arms, still in that “proud prince” stance, and nodded. “As warriors of the Mol, aye. You are the khan here, yes? Why have you summoned us? Perhaps to propose a joint endeavor?

Magnai's gaze grew colder. “Nay, Doman. We shall not speak as equals. Born of the Sun are the Oronir, and born of the earth are you. When I learned of trespassers, I bade my warriors to take their measure. To flay them if they failed.”

_Aw, such a nice guy._ I swallowed down my sarcasm. Hien hadn't turned a hair so far. I would take my cue from him as to whether it was time yet for violence.

“But if, by the grace of Azim, they should survive their trials and emerge anointed, then bring them hither to pay tribute.” Now, Magnai smiled, a look so smug that I couldn't restrain a growl. He ignored me. “Tribute, should it prove satisfactory, shall earn you the favor of the Sun. His beloved shall bask in His radiance, and their supplications duly considered.”

Beside me, Lyse spoke up. Her voice oozed dislike, and her expression showed how ready she was to fight the smirking Xaela. “So you want us to bow down and serve you. What if we don't feel like it?”

Her words provoked the big warrior, and he frowned at her. Though I agreed with her – this smarmy bastard was spouting all the same crap that the imperials did, just in a more personal way. Still, I was abruptly glad she had not been with us in Ishgard. That kind of talk, there, would have likely gotten us all executed before we could say “knife.”

Magnai's eyes burned with a cold rage as he spoke once more. “The defiant will suffer in shadow. It would be an affront to the resplendent Azim Himself to refuse this generous offer when by rights you should be condemned. But, in lieu of tribute... Swear fealty to the Sun. Pledge to Him your body and soul. Promise to serve Him unto death, and you may know His glory.” Once more that gods-damned smug smile stretched his mouth. “A generous offer granted but to few...though perchance this is too merciful.” The green-clad fellow turned, then, and spoke to Magnai in a low voice. Magnai's eyebrows rose.

“Hmm. It seems that our brothers of the Buduga want you.” He chuckled, nastily. “The men only. Like the Borlaaq and women – though you know them not either, I am sure. No matter. All you need to know is that you will serve, one way or another.”

Lyse clenched her hands into fists, and I could hear Gosetsu grumbling. I wasn't any less upset than they were. _How many Oronir I can kill and give the others time to get out? This is bullshit, we don't have to put up with this_.

But my plans for murder were interrupted when I caught sight of Hien's face. He was actually smiling.

“That much does indeed seem plain,” he told the big Xaela. His tone was mild, almost innocent, as he continued. “However, as we are but newborn warriors who know little of your customs, we struggle to conceive of ways in which we might be of service to the most gracious and illustrious Sun.”

Magnai's reaction made my hackles rise. I understood then, that he had been posturing before, pretending to anger. This was his real rage. His voice dropped low and his hand twitched towards his axe. “You make mock of us, Doman. Do not do so again.”

He sat back in his throne, and his voice returned to a normal pitch. “You will be given a task. It will be difficult. You will carry it out. When you have accepted this, you may ask me what it is.”

An hour later, I found myself diving into the deep lake that surrounded the Dawn Throne. Part of me was tempted to just stay put down here until night fell. Let them think I had drowned to death. Go back to the Mol and...and...

But there, my notion sputtered into uselessness. What would I say to Cirina? What could the Mol really do about this situation? They hadn't the might to take on the Oronir.

I had seen with my own eyes their numbers, the quality of their weapons, the way every one of them was sleek and strong and clearly familiar with combat in many forms. Cirina had likened the Mol to sheep; if that were true, the Oronir were well fed lions.

But I was still furious with Magnai specifically. _What a prick! Alphinaud's attitude was bad, two years ago; but even at his snobbiest, Alphinaud was still_ _ **polite**_ _. But this, this asshole – gods! He takes the prize for being an arrogant jerk. Actually calling himself the Sun. He literally thinks he's the gods' own gift, doesn't he? Worse than that, he's obviously willing to blur the line between what his god wants, and what he wants. Not good. Thordan was like that – and look where it led him_.

Such grumbling thoughts occupied me while I searched around the muddy bottom of the lake, finding herbs. The man who'd sent me down here had clearly thought he would be getting half as many bundles of the herbs as he'd asked for. He probably expected to see me bedraggled and tired and out of breath.

So I made damn sure, before I headed back, to let my hair down from its tail and shake it out, showing that it was quite dry. The blessing of the Kojin was coming in handy for more than just breathing water, now. I laughed to myself a little. _I bet the kami are plenty amused by my using their blessing to help fluster a bunch of stuck-up jackasses._

I hefted the arm-full of herbs – also nice and dry! – and ascended.

I stared at the new faces in the throne room and held in my sigh of exasperation. I had known that other adventurers were also here in Othard, after all I had gathered them up to fight with me against that cheerfully murderous primal...but I had not expected them to travel to the Steppe. I had hoped they would stay in Doma and bolster the forces there.

But now, the throne room was crowded with bodies. The green-clad Buduga chieftain looked very annoyed, and I couldn't hide my wry grin. Of the new captives, only one was male. I thought I recognized him, but it was far too hectic for any sort of greeting.

Hien waved to me, and I wormed my way through the crush to reach his side. Gosetsu and Lyse both just looked bemused. As Hien spoke to me in an undertone, I could hear the laughter he was repressing.

“I take it you have completed your task,” he said. “They had me moving goods from one storehouse to another. Alas, it was difficult to learn much with all the Buduga swarming around me.” He paused and glanced sideways at me. “What?”

I smirked. “I think perhaps they find you pretty, Hien.”

His eyes sparkled. “At least someone does.” He tossed his head a little, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing aloud.

“What the heck happened?” I asked him, keeping my own voice down.

“They were escorted in, the same as we were. All of them _ijin_ like yourself – ” He glanced at me and blinked. “Do you know them?”

“Some of them,” I nodded. “They're trustworthy folks, I've had them at my back in a fight.”

“They must have arrived mere moments after we left this morning.” Hien tapped his foot a little, thinking. “How did they persuade Temulun Khatun so quickly...?”

I felt a bit of warmth creeping across my cheeks. I had called Alphinaud...no, surely he would not have sent people here because of what I had told him of the Nadaam. He knew better.

There was no more time for speculation – the newcomers were all being herded out. Hien and I were shuffled along the side of the room to avoid the crowd, and once more we were brought to stand before Magnai.

Hien bowed, his tone rather more respectful than last time. “Most radiant brother Magnai, we have given you tribute, as demanded. Were we to beg leave to depart with our comrades, would you consent?”

The smile Magnai bent on him was almost kind. “We never intended to press you into our service, and tribute offered in good faith cannot be denied. To grant you naught in return would be an affront to Father Azim. However, the boon must be proportional to the supplications. What you ask far exceeds what you have earned.”

Of course. I crossed my arms, and did my best not to grind my teeth.

Hien didn't turn a hair. I had to admit, he was very cool under fire. “If we must remain here, would you at least permit us to learn more of your people and your ways? Temulun Khatun taught me but a fraction, you see.” He took a pose as if thinking hard. “How this world born of the gods was to be their battlefield, their creations to fight in their stead. How Azim, Father of the Dawn, he who birthed the sun, and Nhaama, Mother of the Dusk, she who birthed the moon, made the Au Ra... Yet though these children warred for a time, eventually they laid down their arms and came to love one another. And so the gods bequeathed this world to their children, and ascended to the heavens whence they came. Those born of the Dawn Father were called the Raen, and those born of the Dusk Mother were called the Xaela. So it was and ever after.”

I eyed the prince, wondering if his rambling led somewhere.

Hien, meanwhile, spread his hands as if in supplication to the burly chieftain. “But I say to you, Brother Magnai─how can this be? How can Oronir be the children of Azim, if they are Xaela born of Nhaama?”

Magnai regarded Hien for a long moment, then snorted. “You amuse me, Doman. How you wield your ignorance as a weapon. Very well. I bid you speak with our elders and learn the truth of this world.”

“Hien,” I asked as we strolled out into the evening, “what are you playing at, here? Do you really need to know about their religion?”

Not that I had minded chasing lambs and listening to the rather sweet – if tragic – love story between two gods and all. I just didn't see the _point_.

He smiled up at me. “Perhaps I am being overly optimistic, but I sense that these Oronir may prove loyal allies to Doma under the right circumstances.”

“Huh?”

“Their arrogance is rooted in the belief that they must act as caretakers of all Xaela. Therefore, if we can prove to them that we come as kindred spirits, seeking to defeat a common foe...” He tilted his head a bit, then shrugged. “Well, this is a discussion for after we win the Naadam. Come, let us return to Magnai.”

When we came back inside, the gaggle of newer captives were being led away, down a long hallway. The tall Elezen fellow I'd recognized gave me a small wave of his hand before they turned the corner and went out of sight.

In the throne room, Lyse and Gosetsu were standing, clearly waiting on me and Hien.

She murmured to me as I came to stand beside her. “I'm glad you're back. They had me milking sheep, by the way. It was, um, interesting.” Given that she now smelled faintly of sheep, I could well imagine the way things had gone for her. Still, she didn't look injured, just tired, so at least the Oronir didn't have sheep with bad tempers. It was a tiny consolation.

Magnai eyed the four of us, then focused on Hien, and spoke. “Hmm...you shine with the light of newfound wisdom. Could it be that you have at last accepted the supremacy of the Sun?”

Hien smiled and shook his head, and Magnai shrugged.

“No matter. You have each completed your tasks, and proven yourselves deserving of mercy.

However, if it is freedom you desire, then there is one more thing you must do.”

“One more thing?” Lyse began, but shut her mouth as I gripped her elbow.

Magnai ignored her, instead sighing slightly – an affectation, for he didn't even look annoyed, not compared to how he'd treated us before. “A pity you will not pledge yourselves to the Sun. You might have proved useful in the coming Naadam.” He shrugged. “Nevertheless, I will permit you to return and fight for the Mol. Their cause is futile, with or without your assistance. However, you must first complete a final task, as I said.”

He crossed his arms. “You will reconnoiter the encampment of the Dotharl. For this task, two will go, and the rest will remain. Should the two who embark upon this expedition choose to flee, or be captured or killed by the Dotharl, then the others will be taken as slaves and serve the Sun unto death.

Lyse set her hands on her hips. “We'd better not fail then, eh? The question is, who should we send?”

Magnai's voice oozed condescension. “That is not for you to decide. All of you have conquered Bardam's Mettle and proven yourselves warriors of the Steppe. You _should_ all be equally capable of carrying out this task, and therefore, you should have no objections.”

I didn't like the way he smiled.

The green-clad chieftain spoke. “Brother Magnai. A word.”

“Hm? What is it, Daidukul?”

“The Buduga require that a hostage be male, for if these ones fail, we cannot accept a woman as a slave.” Daidukul pointed. “Therefore, we choose the firewalker. The one they call Hien.”

I raised my eyebrows. But, before I could comment, the doors to the throne room opened, and Magnai looked up.

A single guard came in, leading a petite blond Miqote woman. Her eyes snapped with anger as she stalked forward to stand beside the rest of us, and I cocked my head.

Magnai nodded. “Good. This one is my choice, then.” The look he gave to me and Lyse made me clamp my hand tighter on her elbow. “I doubt either of you are the moon I seek, but stranger tales have been told.”

I recalled what the old storyteller had related to me and Hien not even an hour ago. My eyes widened, then narrowed. Hien glanced at me, the barest hint of warning, and I sat on my anger.

“Well.” Hien shrugged, as if none of this mattered much to him. “I had hoped to see these undying ones for myself, but it seems it was not meant to be.” He turned to Gosetsu and clapped the big samurai on the shoulder. “I know you will be fine, but permit me to wish you luck all the same.”

Gosetsu bowed. “We will return soon, my lord. But, if the kami are unkind, and we fail in our mission, then do what you must to survive. For Doma.”

Daidukul stepped forward then, and led Hien away.

The guard, who had waited near the door, came forward once more, and made it clear to Lyse and me that we were to follow him. Though part of me very much wanted to get in Magnai's smug damn face and rearrange it, I nodded, and paced behind the man, leaving the throne room.


	33. Sparring Match

_Why am I not surprised that a castle like this – especially with people like Magnai in charge – has a dungeon?_

I had to admit, though, as dungeons went, it wasn't too bad. There was plenty of space, things were clean. Nightbird had told me about the Vault's dungeons; there were no hints that anyone had ever been tortured here. _This_ place looked like a storage area that just happened to have one wall made of iron bars. There were crates stacked up against the walls and a few very large ones just sitting in the middle of the space, as if whoever had been moving them couldn't be bothered beyond getting them in here.

It was dim, and the air was a bit stuffy, but I'd been in root cellars that were worse.

The other adventurers – our fellow captives, now – lounged around those big crates. There was some quiet discussion going on, but I wasn't listening, being more focused on Lyse as she made her way to the back of the room.

Lyse leaned against the wall, and scowled. “I don't know what this “moon” stuff is that he's going on about, but I don't like the sound of it. At all.”

I stretched a little, and then set one hand on my hip. “Given what Hien and I learned...” I explained to her the myth we'd heard.

“So he thinks I might be his one true love or something?!” She looked affronted.

“Yeah, apparently he believes in fairy tales,” I shrugged. “Simple enough to just tell him no, I suppose. There seems to be no fear in the women here, if you see what I'm saying.”

She blinked at me. It was hard to tell if she was blushing, in the low light, but the way her voice wobbled said enough. “You think of the most horrible things, Berylla.”

“Comes with the job,” I answered. “I didn't mean to upset you or anything. Just noticing that the Oronir aren't like the Imperials in at least one way. Small comfort but...” I closed my mouth, seeing that I wasn't helping any.

Lyse shook her head, and cleared her throat. “I'm going to talk to the rest of these folks.”

I let her go, and sat on some nearby crates. I had a feeling that I would not be waiting for long before Magnai sent for me. Not if he intended to “interview” every woman in the group.

 _What a bunch of bullshit_. I tugged on a bit of my hair, twisting the strands around my fingers. _He's so stuck-up, I'm surprised he's even considering any of us who aren't of the Steppe. Or maybe he's desperate now because he's looked at most of the women around here_. I pulled my fingers free, then started twisting a new section of my hair. _I don't want to have to hit him. I suspect that would be bad for the rest of the people they've captured. But I'm damn sure not his soul mate. So how to do I tell him that without getting everyone else beaten or worse?_

The guard came for Lyse first. She shot me a look, but all I could do was shrug helplessly.

There wasn't much way of telling time, with no windows, and I did my best not to fidget too much. But when I heard footsteps coming down the corridor, I couldn't stop myself from going to the bars and peering out.

Hien lifted his hand to wave at me, and I backed off to let the guard open the door.

The prince took my elbow and walked me over to a back corner, not speaking until the guard's footsteps had faded.

“Are you all right?” I asked him.

“Oh, I am fine.” He laughed softly. “A little tired, perhaps. The Buduga are...” Again, the laugh. “Interesting.”

“They didn't, um.” I couldn't figure out a classy way to ask, but Hien looked up at me and grinned. He set his hand on my upper arm and squeezed.

“They did not,” he reassured me. “There was quite a lot of talk in that direction, but only talk. I barely had to say a word. They simply wanted to...” His laugh this time was a lot more like his usual humor. “They wanted to _inspect_ me, shall we say.” He adjusted his clothes just a little, plucking at the red string that held his armor in place, and that was when I got it.

I felt my face warming, and I was glad it was dim enough to hide the fact. “ _Oh_.”

“I see Brother Magnai has called for Lyse.”

“Yeah...I don't know just what he plans to do.”

But then we heard footsteps, very quick ones, and both of us looked up.

Lyse strode into view – strode, hell, she was damn near _stomping_. She looked absolutely furious, but her clothes weren't mussed or anything. The guard let her in, his expression wary as if she might punch him. Even as she came into the holding area, he was calling for another one of the captives. Lyse came right over to me and Hien, and I swore I could just about hear her grinding her teeth.

“He said,” she snarled softly, “that I was good with the sheep and useful for that if nothing else. What a son of a – ooh, I just wanted to _slap_ him!”

“I take it you did not meet his ah...expectations?” Hien ventured.

“He can take his notions and shove them up his – ” Lyse stopped herself, and took a couple of deep breaths. “What. An. Ass.” She blew out her breath and flexed her hands a bit.

“What did he do?” I asked her.

“Nothing. Just stared into my eyes like some idiot in a love song. Then told me how I wasn't good enough for him, and he'd just use me for milking sheep when they enslave us all. Since obviously Gosetsu isn't coming back, according to him.” Her hands clenched into fists again.

“Then he is truly a fool, to believe such a thing of Gosetsu.” Hien's smile seemed to derail Lyse's temper, and she blinked at him.

“Aren't you angry? All of us are being treated like slaves already.”

“A small indignity to be endured for now,” Hien soothed. “And after all, when we trounce every Oronir we meet in the Nadaam, that indignity will be repaid, no?”

She stared at him for a moment, then a slow smile spread across her face. “Good point.”

The guard came back, maybe fifteen minutes later, but he didn't bring back the woman he had left with. He opened the door, and gestured to another captive, but there was a collective step back from most of them. “What did you do with her?” demanded a tall Elezen mage.

“She is at the cook-fire,” the guard shrugged. Then he gestured again. “This will take all night if you dawdle.”

Lyse raised her eyebrows but didn't speak.

“I suspect,” Hien said quietly to us both, “that these other _ijin_ are inherently less valuable than ourselves as slaves. Or, perhaps it is merely a case of not wishing to press this area into use for long.” He took a seat on the floor, looking unperturbed. “In any event, I intend to take the opportunity to rest. It has been quite a long day.”

Everyone else had been called up. It was only me and Lyse and Hien left in the holding cell, now. I had started pacing when there were only three others left.

“Maybe he isn't going to ask for you after all,” Lyse said. “You should calm down.”

“Meh.” I paused, though, trying to contain myself. Part of me really wanted Magnai to ask for me, just so I could walk up to him and spit in his smug damn face. My temper wasn't helped by being hungry either.

Lyse cocked her head at me, and she got a look in her eye that made me hesitate.

“If we're going to be stuck in here all night,” she began.

Her words cut off when we heard the guard approaching.

I turned to face the door, glad that it also hid my face from her. She knew me too well, though, and I heard her snickering very quietly behind me and knew she'd seen my blush.

_Completely shameless, that's what you are, Lyse._

But the guard was opening the door, and nodding to me. “Brother Magnai awaits,” he said simply.

“And what of my friends?”

“They will be released,” he answered. “Later.”

I sighed. “Rude,” I muttered under my breath, but the guard ignored me, and simply waited for me to step out. I turned to Lyse, and she wiggled her fingers at me.

“Go on. We're not suffering after all, except maybe from boredom.”

Hien grinned at that. I shook my head a little, and sighed again as I stepped through the door.

The guard led me back up from the dungeon area and into the castle proper. But, to my mild surprise, he did not lead me back to the throne room. Instead, I found myself ushered into a very large space – a practice area. It wasn't very much like the practice ground back at Camp Dragonhead, but it was obvious that its purpose was the same. Old memories fluttered through me, of that so-memorable evening, sparring against Haurchefant and then, Aymeric. My eyes burned a little.

Then I caught sight of Magnai, stripped to just his trousers.

I couldn't deny, he was a very fine specimen, as men went. He was clearly in excellent shape, broader in the shoulder and chest even than Aymeric, his skin bronzed by the sun and bearing very few scars. One nipple was pierced by a gold ring.

The door shut behind me, and I was alone with the leader of the Oronir.

Magnai set his fists on his hips and regarded me.

“Well. You have nothing of grace or of a dancer.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Thanks,” I said, letting my voice drip sarcasm.

To my surprise, he smiled. “You do have fire,” he mused. Then, he turned, and grabbed a staff from the rack behind him. He tossed it at me, and I caught it in one hand.

“Spar with me.” Magnai smiled again. “If you impress me suitably, perhaps reward can be arranged, after.”

“Huh.” I regarded him as he picked up a similar staff, and weighed the wood in my hand. _If I brain him, it will cause no end of trouble. But he's literally_ _ **asking**_ _me to hit him._

“Before we do this,” I said cautiously, “some ground rules. I'm not about to risk my friends just because I didn't check first. You want sparring, but how hard do you want this to go?”

He laughed aloud. “Do you require reassurance? I promise not to kill you.”

“Sonofa – ” I took a quick breath and let it out. “Yeah, I'll promise not to hand your ass to you on a plate. Three out of five?”

“How confident you are.” His teeth flashed, very white against his skin. “Very well. Three falls out of five. Winner chooses their reward.”

“Fine.”

I didn't wait for him to settle into a stance. I charged straight at him, a bull rush, looking to force him up against a wall and pin him.

For as big a fellow as he was, he was _fast_. He spun out of my way and his staff whistled as he swung at me. With a bitten off curse I rolled and avoided getting whacked on the shoulder. I sprang to my feet and whirled to face him.

We circled each other for a moment, tense, waiting, watching. My mind was racing faster than my heartbeat.

_He's trained the same way I am. He probably knows all the same tricks I do, too. The only thing using staves is going to ensure is that we don't slice each other up. The question is, does he want to humiliate me or –_

Magnai leaped forward, going for an overhand strike. I braced my staff in both hands and blocked him, then kicked out viciously, aiming for his thigh. He didn't quite dodge me, and cursed in pain, but the hit wasn't a solid one and he moved back, barely limping. _I left him a bruise, but nothing else. Damn._

I stayed put, keeping my staff in a guard position, and just watched him for a moment or two.

“Come,” he taunted. “Come, fight me! Or do the women of your lands always let their men lead them in a dance?”

_Oh you motherfu-_

I knew I shouldn't let his words get me so angry, but I had been fuming all afternoon and I was just so _done with his crap_ – I charged him again, and this time he neatly sidestepped and thwacked me right on the ass, hard enough to drive me to my knees.

“One.”

I snarled as I got back up on my feet. But the pain cleared my head – I was still furious but I wasn't losing control of it anymore.

_All right. He's quick, so I've gotta set him up first, can't just rush him. He's not gonna scare, either._

He had stayed still while I got back up – polite enough to give his opponent breathing room, in a match like this at least. _The first polite thing I've seen him do so far_. But as I turned to face him once more, he advanced on me, smirking.

I blocked his strikes, focusing on the staff in his hands, on the way his eyes moved, doing my damnedest to ignore his expression. Neither of us spoke for a few exchanges; the only sounds in the room came from the crack of staff on staff, the scuff of boots on stone, and our harsh breathing.

As I concentrated, I began to see the patterns of his movements. Not like my own, though that was to be expected, but nevertheless they were still there, as he let his confidence take over and stopped being quite so cautious. There was a tingling at the edge of my senses, something I had experienced before when I was focused like this.

He feinted left, and I felt – almost saw – the strike he was _really_ going to do. I countered the strike so hard and so fast that he staggered back, his grip loosing just a fraction.

It was enough.

I swatted the staff out of his hands, cracking him across the knuckles on his off-side, and then brought the end of my own staff within a couple inches of his throat.

He stumbled back a step, and flung his arms wide. “Yield,” he grated.

It was my turn, now, to smirk. I reversed the staff and grounded it, leaning casually on it as if I weren't panting for breath. His golden eyes stayed on me as he moved towards his fallen weapon, wary now, and his smile was gone.

He picked up his staff, and fell into a different stance than before.

 _Ah. Now we play a waiting game_. I narrowed my eyes and let my lips curve in a mocking smile, and echoed his stance.

Rage was gone now. There was only the throb of my pulse, the singing of my blood, and the joy of the fight. Strange as it all seemed, that primal back in the Red Kojin's stronghold had been right. _Our souls rejoice in the chaos_.

We circled each other, slowly, and I kept that lazy smile on my face. I didn't speak, and neither did Magnai. He feinted at me a couple of times, but I did not react. Even when he seemed to let his guard open just a bit, I did not react – waiting and watching, and this time I knew I had the patience and endurance to outlast him.

It took a while, but eventually he quit waiting and charged me with a shout.

This time, it was me who sidestepped, and my staff swept out and tripped him. He measured his length on the floor, face-down, and I started to move away towards the other side of the room. “Two,” I said.

But he surprised me.

His arm shot out and grabbed my ankle and he _yanked_.

I made a quite undignified gargling noise as I went down.

He was on top of me in an instant, grappling with me, trying to pin me. He was heavier than me, but I was no stranger to wrestling, and with a twist of my hips I had him off balance and then on his back. My hands went for his throat, but his hands went straight for my hair. He pulled on it, hard, and forced my head back far enough that my fingers slipped against the dark scales at his neck, getting no purchase.

I flung myself to the side, feeling strands of hair coming out as I pulled free and rolled to my feet. I scrambled for my staff, but Magnai tackled me around my knees and took me down again. This time, he pinned me, his forearm pressed into my neck, mashing my face into the stones. “Yield, curse your eyes,” he snarled.

“Fucking hell!” I wanted to spit, but instead I slapped my open palm on the floor twice.

“Two,” he panted as he let me go. He shifted back, out of arm's reach, and sat on his haunches, breathing like a bellows.

I rolled over and sat up, and scraped my hair out of my face. “Two for me, too, you fuck,” I snapped. “I had you on your ass, it counts.”

He laughed, a sound that surprised me with how pleasant it was. He had an actually nice smile on his face as he nodded. “Yes. You did. It counts.”

But he didn't get up.

“You are one of the better warriors I have sparred with,” he observed. “I did not believe that outsiders like you were so strong.”

“I'm not the best of us,” I shrugged. _Actually I probably am – or at least in the top twenty – but he doesn't need to know that_. I ran a hand across my face, and hissed as my fingers brushed against my bottom lip. I held up my hand and saw a dot of blood. _Split lip, then. Probably from whacking the floor with my face_. I took a few more deep breaths, and slowly climbed to my feet.

Magnai followed suit, and collected both our staves – mine had gone flying when he tackled me. With far more courtesy than he had shown before, he handed me the length of wood, and I took it.

But as we had recovered, it had finally occurred to me that I _did not want_ this man to know just what I could do. I had made that mistake before, showing my strength to the Heavens' Ward. Knowing that I had fucked up was made worse by the fact that it had taken me so long to figure it out – we were in Azys Lla before I realized it. Sometimes I still wondered, if they hadn't known what I could do – would they have tried to take me out, that day atop the Vault?

Would Haurchefant yet be alive if I hadn't fallen for their ruse?

_Gods, what a depressing thought._

I tugged my attention back to the fight in front of me. It made me want to bite something to realize it, but I was going to have to let Magnai win this sparring match. _Better for me – for Hien – for all of us really, if Magnai underestimates me. I can kick his ass later. He already said he won't keep us here after Gosetsu comes back._

“All right,” I said at last. “So. Two and two.” I lifted my staff, and tried to keep my tone light, as if I were sure I was going to trounce him. “Let's dance, sunshine.”

Magnai came at me like a whirlwind. I had thrown up my shield of aether, but he smashed through it as if it were plain air, and then his staff was hurtling for my head and I ducked –

Only to wheeze as I felt the other end of the staff catch me in the stomach. I went down on my knees, clutching my middle and struggling for breath.

Magnai set down his staff, took mine away from me, and racked it as well.

“I win,” he said, unnecessarily, as he came back to stand in front of me.

My eyes were watering as I looked up at him. One of his cheeks sported a nice dark bruise, now, and two more decorated his ribs. I knew I had at least as many marks on me. We had not gone easy on each other, this last bout. I was no longer quite as sure that I could have won.

His expression softened, and he reached out and took my chin in his fingers, tipping my face towards the light. For a moment I wondered if he was going to mock me.

Instead, he lifted me to my feet, and guided me over to one of the benches on the side of the practice room, along the wall that also held the door. He brought cool, damp cloths, and a skin of water. He drank from it first, but then handed it to me without speaking.

I drank, and accepted the cloth he gave me, and wiped away some of the sweat and sand that had clung to my face and arms. By the time I had got done with that, I had my breath back, and my muscles were shivering with the aftermath of a good hard fight.

I drank some more water, and then held out the skin to Magnai once more.

He took it, and set it aside, then came to stand in front of me.

“You have been an invigorating opponent,” he told me. His golden eyes gleamed, and his voice dropped into a rumble. “Now,” he murmured. “I choose my reward.”

I waited, half expecting some kind of humiliating command. _Probably for me to lick his boots or something equally stupid –_

His hands went to his trousers, and my eyes went wide.


	34. Get What You Deserve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: there is some dubious consent here, please be aware!

Magnai unlaced his pants, and I just stared, sitting on the bench, completely speechless.

_I cannot_ _**believe** _ _this. I shouldn't have thrown the match. I don't even like this man, what the hell have I gotten myself into?_

He pulled the last lace loose, and tugged his trousers open and halfway down his thighs.

I looked up at him, trying to hide my sudden nervousness.

The look on his face was so much unlike every other expression he had shown me that I couldn't speak. There was wanting there – and a strange vulnerability, as if... _No, that can't be right. There's no way this guy is worried about me refusing_.

“You may not be my Nhaama,” he growled, “but I _will_ have pleasure of you.”

“This is...not the sort of reward I would have expected you to demand.” I swallowed hard and stood up. “I'm _not_ going to fuck you.”

Magnai gripped my upper arms, nearly lifting me off my feet, and I clenched my jaw tight.

He pressed his lips to mine, once, a strangely chaste kiss. But when he looked into my eyes, with our faces so close, I felt a shiver pass through me.

“I do not demand all of your body. This was a sparring match, not a true duel, after all.” His voice was still a growl but there was something of desperation in it now. “But I _have_ earned a boon of you, and the boon I crave is to feel your mouth around my manhood.”

“You want...m-me to...” I felt my face burning.

He pushed me down until I was on my knees before him. His fingers tangled in my hair.

“I am certain you know what to do.” His face was shadowed now, all the torch light was behind him, and his eyes glittered from that shadow – uncanny, and so _hungry_ that I shivered again.

I lowered my eyes to the cock that waited for me.

_All right, all right, I can do this. It's just sucking his dick, it doesn't mean a damn thing. Just do it and get it over with._

I noticed first that he had a very definite tan-line; he was remarkably pale beneath his pants. Obviously, just being “of the Sun” didn't necessarily mean a lot of sun-bathing. The hair surrounding the base of his cock was straight, coarse, and very short – like a neat patch of lawn around a tower. The hair was as black as his scales. He was fully hard, and very thick – though not as thick as Haurchefant had been. Not as long, either. For a moment I was a little less daunted by the prospect of what I was about to do.

I reached out with one hand, curling my fingers around the shaft of his cock and stroking once. Immediately I noticed a difference. I leaned closer.

I knew, in a vague way, that some families had a traditional practice of... _altering_ their sons, usually at birth or a few days after. I remembered Haurchefant telling me, once, that all Ishgardian nobles followed such a practice. Garleans, too – if Nero was anything to go by. _He_ had claimed, in that infuriating way of his, that the practice ensured a man was able to easily clean the area. I still had a feeling he had been having me on.

But clearly, the families of the Steppe – or at least the Oronir – did not practice circumcision.

I had never seen a cock thus intact, and in spite of myself, I was fascinated. I stroked the shaft, noting how the extra skin near the tip rolled, sliding – not freely, exactly, but nonetheless it was unusual to me. His manhood twitched strongly as I caressed him, and I glanced up as my fingers toyed lightly with his foreskin, curious. The golden eyes were half shut, and his hand in my hair tensed. _Ah, so it's sensitive._

For one insane moment I wondered what it might be like, to have his cock inside of me.

_Fucking hell, Berylla. You probably could have found out exactly what a cock like this feels like, if you'd said yes to Hien. You do not need that kind of complication in your life right now, fool!_

I leaned in and set my lips around him.

For an instant, Magnai the Radiant _groaned_ above me, and I felt that particular and peculiar rush of power that so often made me wet and wanting with the men I actually loved. _There's just something so gods-damned sexy about the sounds they make when I suck them off... I'm a horrible person, probably, but I can't help it. I like doing this too damn much._

I took him slowly at first, feeling my way, making sure I knew where that so-sensitive foreskin was. It occurred to me that I could do him some very real – and very humiliating – damage. All it would take was “accidentally” closing my jaw too far, too hard, and I would surely at least bruise that tender skin. I opened my mouth farther and stroked the head of his cock with my tongue. _I don't actually_ _ **want**_ _to do him harm. For now_.

He shuddered when I took his length fully into my mouth, and his other hand settled against my hair. “Yes...good,” he whispered.

I held him there for a moment, breathing, adjusting the way my body was positioned so that I was a little more comfortable.

Then, just as he was drawing breath to speak, I began to bob my head up and down.

His mouth remained open for a few strokes, but the only sound he made was a kind of choked grunt, as if he had lost control of his voice entirely. I began to swirl my tongue along the shaft. Magnai groaned again, and his thighs tensed, hips pushing against me.

I ran my tongue along the border between the head of his cock and the now mostly rolled up foreskin, and his hands tightened on my hair. When I sucked on the tip, he cursed.

I did not spend time on petting him, handling his balls, or any of the other subtleties. I focused solely on the cock in my mouth, the warmth of it, the faintly salty taste of the skin; on the scent of him – a pleasantly earthy smell, rich as truffles, a smell that made me think of sun on grass. I set my hands on his hips, bracing myself, and sped up the pace.

He gripped my hair, moaning, and began to thrust his hips into me, fucking my face. He was shaking all over, I felt the tremors under my palms.

Faster.

Harder.

He shuddered and started to curl inward. I could feel the transition, the way his cock seemed to gather itself.

Then he tried to pull me back.

I fought him, tightening my grip on his hips and taking over the motion, determined not to let him pull out and try something cute like coming all over my face. _If I'm going to do the work, I'm going to get_ _ **something**_ _out of this, by the Twelve._

He cried out, his knees wobbling, his hands tangled in my hair, and then his cock spurted into my mouth. I sucked and swallowed and sucked and swallowed, draining him dry. His come was salty, and a little bitter; not the most pleasant taste, but I took it all anyway.

When I finally drew back, leaving his cock shiny with my saliva, he stared down at me, eyes wide, mouth hanging open as he took in great gulps of air.

I smiled at him, a smile that was all teeth, a smile that promised murder if he touched me again.

The chieftain of the Oronir, for one instant, looked _terrified_ of me.

It couldn't last, of course. By the time he had laced up his pants, and I had stood up and shaken out my hair, he was back to his usual smug self.

“You may go.”

“And the other two?”

He waved his hand. “Later.” He noticed the way I glared at him, and relented. “They will be released when – _**if**_ – your comrades return.”

“Why'd you let all the others out, then?”

“They are not a threat,” he shrugged. “None of them have the initiative to actually fight their way out of our keeping. Strong they may be, but they are also content to wait.” His hand moved – as if he had thought to reach out to touch me, and changed his mind. “The fire-walker is for the Buduga to release, he is their hostage, not the Oronir's,” he continued. “And the red woman, I do not trust.”

“But you trust me.”

“I respect you, for you are the strongest among the outsiders here this night.” His mouth twitched into that smug smile, but only for an instant. “You will not be the strongest on the field, come the day of the Nadaam, but you are a formidable woman. A woman of honor. You could have left here many times over. You did not. Therefore,” he waved his hand, “I give you leave to wander the village as you please. Speak to anyone you wish, or rest among our tents.”

I raised my eyebrows, and then gave him a shrug of my own. I started to turn towards the door, then paused, and looked back at him over my shoulder.

“One warrior to another,” I said quietly. “No one needs to know about our little match. Or its outcome.”

“As you say.” He wouldn't meet my eyes, but the firelight was too uncertain to tell if he was the one blushing this time. He turned his back to me in clear dismissal.

I turned back to the door, and walked out.

I left the castle proper, and paced around the quiet inner courtyard for a while. The sun was just setting, and I felt very strange for a moment, as if I had slipped in time somehow.

But my body let me know what my mind was having trouble coping with: we had been stuck up here for almost two days now. The weird timelessness of the dungeon – no windows and lanterns that had not seemed to burn down much – had deceived me. With an effort, I shook off the disorientation.

But that left me free to think about what had just happened between me and Magnai.

I couldn't help thinking about the last time I had sucked Aymeric's cock, all the differences between the two men. How much I would have preferred being with him, and not that smug brat of a chieftain.

I wasn't sure if I felt guilty, though, for what I'd just done. After all, I hadn't made any promises – not to Magnai certainly, but not to Aymeric, or to Alphinaud for that matter. I had kept myself free, just the same way Haurchefant had done.

But I wasn't happy about it. For a moment, I missed Haurchefant so much it made me physically sick. How much I wanted to lean on him right now, to talk to him, to ask his advice. How in all seven hells had he ever navigated having so many lovers?

I wasn't the faithful type. But maybe I wasn't quite as free-spirited as Haurchefant after all.

Abruptly I was sick of it all, sick of feeling awful over Aymeric, sick of worrying about what I was doing – or wasn't doing – with Alphinaud, and most of all, sick of myself.

 _Hmph. What you are, Berylla, is a damn mess. A lonely, confused, self-pitying mess_.

I set my hand in my pouch, and felt the hard little shape of the link-pearl that Aymeric had given me.

 _All right. No more thinking about it. Time to start doing something about my fuck-up_.

I walked out of the inner courtyard and headed for the aetheryte.

The gold ornamentation on the link-pearl caught the fading sunlight, and made it all too obvious how badly my hands were shaking. I made sure it was activated. The Oronir around me ignored me completely as I stood in the shadow of the aetheryte – it wasn't exactly privacy, but no one among the tribe knew or cared who Aymeric was. It would have to do.

I set the link-pearl in my ear and thumbed it on.

One chime. Two.

_Is it even really reaching all the way to Ishgard?_

Three chimes.

_Is he busy? Is he still upset?_

Four chimes. Five.

I bit my lip. _Hells. Maybe he doesn't really have the link-pearl on him the way he said_.

Six.

The view from atop the Dawn Throne wobbled in my vision as the tears gathered.

“Berylla...!”

I gasped, both in surprise at how winded he sounded and at the unexpected stab of fiery pain in my chest. So many emotions hit me at once that I felt dizzy. I sat down on the ground, hard.

“Hi,” I managed. “I...is this a bad time?”

“No! No, it is not a bad time.”

“You sound out of breath, are you okay?”

“I am fine. Your letter...”

“I'm s-s-sorry,” my laugh sounded like a sob, “I'm so bad at letters but...I...I didn't know what else to do.”

He was silent for a moment, and I swallowed, struggling to maintain control. Weeping at him wasn't going to do any good for either of us.

“I am glad to hear your voice,” he said at last.

“You said to call you, and I...I...” _I finally got the nerve to do it,_ “I had some time finally.”

“How goes Alphinaud's plan? I have not been privy to reports.”

“About as well as you thought it might, at first. But we're making progress. Sort of. It's a lot more complicated than any of us thought it would be, but I suppose that shouldn't be a surprise. We...I faced Zenos again.” I shivered, remembering once more the way the Garlean had spoken to me. “I didn't defeat him, but he let me live. The locals seemed to find their courage, so now we have their support. So that's, um. Good.”

“Indeed. And what has our young genius plotted next? For I assume he has continued to plan.”

“I think, right now, he's waiting on me to get back.”

“Back? From where?”

“Oh, I'm – um, damn, which way is – I'm kind of east of Doma right now. In the Azim Steppe. It's...” I sighed, trying to condense it all down into something simple. “Their prince – the Doman prince, I mean – has been living in exile out here. So we came to get him, but he um. He wants to recruit the tribes of the Steppe to come fight. But he has to have the clout to do that so...we're going to fight in their Nadaam.” I blew out a breath. “Gods. This sounds crazy no matter which way I say it. But I really do think it's our best chance. If we can win this, if we can get the Steppe warriors behind us...we can take down the viceroy. That's all we need to do.”

“Hm, yes,” Aymeric almost sounded amused. “All you need do is topple the current Garlean stronghold in the region.”

“I admit, I hope Alphinaud's got a plan when we do get back.” I laughed a little, then paused. “I wish...gods, too many things. Aymeric, I'm so sorry – ”

“I tried to reach you,” he said, and his voice was ragged. “You turned the link-pearl off.”

“I wasn't ready. I didn't know what to say.” I stared at the fantastic view from up here, not seeing the twilight creeping across the sea of grass, not seeing the stars beginning to peek out. All I could see was the way he had looked at me before I turned away that day. “I still don't know what to say. Except that I was wrong to leave you that way. And I miss you.”

The silence on his end made me bite my lip; the first time it had been a shivery, nervous silence, but this silence was somehow denser. “I have missed you as well. Very much.” The words seemed pulled out of him, as if he were forcing himself to speak calmly. But then he kept talking, his voice going back to the almost casual “small talk” tone. “I suppose you have made many friends, out there.”

“I mean. We're building alliances as fast as we can, and strengthening them and...”

“That's not what I mean.”

“...oh. That kind of...no.”

“No?”

“No.” I shrugged. “There hasn't...been anybody.” _I am not counting Magnai as a friend of any stripe, that's for damn sure._

“Surely there are handsome men and lovely women there?”

“I've been kind of busy.”

“Well then, this prince – this Hien fellow. What about him?”

“He's a nice guy. I guess he's handsome, but...I just...” I chewed my lip. “I look at him and I don't feel anything in particular, Aymeric. And I don't want to.”

“So you are telling me you've been with no one, all this time.”

“How about saying I'd rather not talk about my sex life over a link-pearl?” I couldn't help being sharp with him. “I'm not...not interested in getting involved with anyone.”

“Then that makes two of us.”

I couldn't formulate any coherent answer to that. I leaned my elbows on my knees, curling in on myself somewhat, hoping my hair would hide the way I was beginning to snivel. A third silence, and this time I felt as if something were tightening around my chest, making it harder and harder to breathe.

“Why did you run away from me? Why?” The pain in his voice wounded me.

“I d-don't know.” I put my hand over my eyes. Not that any of the people around me were staring but it made me feel somehow less exposed. Shame crawled over my skin like phantom ants.

“I never wanted to hold you back, Berylla.”

Water dripped onto my lap. It hurt to speak, to force the words out around my tears. “Can you ever forgive me for hurting you like this?”

“I don't know yet. I need...I need to talk to you, Berylla. In person. I need to see you.”

“I'm...still here for a while...I don't know when...”

“I know.”

“Aymeric, I still love – ”

“Don't.”

The single word made me freeze. A strangled sound came from my throat before I could stop it.

“Don't say it. Not now. Not...not yet.” He sounded like he was clenching his teeth.

The silence then was full of thorns. My heart ached. I felt as if I was laying at his feet, bleeding.

“Will you be able to contact me again in a week or so?” His voice was ragged again.

“Gods,” I sniffled. “Aymeric, I... Yes. I will. I'll find a way, make some time.”

 _So long as we aren't on a battlefield in a week_.

“Understood.”

“Sh-should I try for a specific time of day, or anything...?”

“Night. I don't care if it is in the small hours, but I am generally working so long as the sun is up, right now.”

“Things are busy?”

“...No.” Before I could speak again, he added, “Farewell, Berylla.”

The link-pearl clicked off, leaving me sitting there, head in my hands, sobbing.


	35. Speculations

_**Ishgard** : Seat of the Lord Commander; late afternoon_

Handeloup saluted, and carried out the stack of papers. Even as he was leaving, Lucia walked into the office, with more papers in her hand. Aymeric stifled a sigh. At least she had _fewer_ papers than the last time she came in.

“Reports from the Alliance, Lord Commander.”

“Thank you. These are the last items for the day, yes?”

“Yes, sir.” She cocked her head at him, but seemed disinclined to say more. Instead, she simply saluted, and left him alone.

Aymeric skimmed through the reports – most of them quite brief, as usual. Ishgardian merchants were establishing regular routes; the other city-states sent acknowledgments of any changes to the trade agreements as those agreements were tweaked, and Ishgard naturally did the same. Most of the news had to do with trade for the moment, and Aymeric could not deny that he was fair pleased by that fact. The Imperials were confining their attentions – for now – to the Fringes and the continuing skirmishes there.

He smiled at the short letters, personally penned by each leader. Nightbird's efforts towards the cultural exchange on his behalf had borne fruit already: these unofficial responses were quite warm. Now Ishgard must wait for the official, firm responses. Aymeric had a feeling that Uldah, at least, was weighing the benefits and drawbacks of fully imitating Ishgard's budding new Conservatory. That was quite all right as far as he was concerned.

The Assembly had already approved the construction of the Conservatory, and Lord Francel was sounding out builders for that project. Though the construction could not fully begin until the current phase of the Restoration was finished, there were things that could be done – design, initial preparation of the site, things that he did not rightly understand and was content to leave in the hands of experts.

Another goal that would be reached after years of effort. His plan was, however, proceeding as expected; Ishgard would have a living repository for its cultural legacy, and a tool to maintain its public image that could outlast even the Dragonsong War. Knowing that served as a balm to his spirit on those long nights, when he began to doubt his decisions and his abilities as a leader.

The thickest report was the one sent from General Aldynn. Aymeric perused that one _most_ carefully, and was very glad that the General had included copies of the maps of Doma that the Scions had sent on. The reports were necessarily sparse, giving few hard details; but Aymeric was long used to reading between the lines of military reports. He got a good idea of just what challenges Berylla and the others had overcome thus far. An unfriendly populace, an unexpected primal, a surprise visit by Zenos which had ended with a greater surprise in the form of him simply abandoning the field.

His brow creased when he saw the map of the Steppe. Berylla had not mentioned how vast the area was. The General had written a single sentence to do with the Steppe, simply saying that it was populated by fiercely independent tribes.

There was nothing more beyond that page, and Aymeric sat back in his chair and sighed.

He glanced over at the wall chronometer, and his mouth turned up at one corner. He would, for once, be getting home early. If there had been no other benefit from the way he had over-worked in those first weeks after Berylla left...he was caught up on all the business of the Temple Knights. And tonight, at least, he did not have dinner guests or any other responsibilities. For the first time in a long while, he looked forward to leaving the office.

Once home, he let Milinne feed him, and then went upstairs and drew a hot bath for himself. He lay in the water and let the heat soothe him, and thought about what had taken place this afternoon.

It was a very good thing that Lucia had been with him when the link-pearl began to chime. He would confront her later, perhaps, about why _his_ link-pearl had been in _her_ pouch to begin with. But at the time he had been too astonished, too frantic to get his hands on the device, to even ask. He had chased her out of his office and locked the door and finally, _finally_ he had been able to answer the call, to hear Berylla's voice for the first time in months...

She had almost sounded normal, so long as he kept the conversation away from the subject of their relationship. He had known, though, that they could not avoid the topic for long.

When she had begun to apologize, he had not been surprised to hear the tears in her voice. He wasn't quite sure how he had managed to keep his own tears hidden.

 _There hasn't been anybody_.

Recalling her words made him ache to hold her. He knew too well how she struggled with loneliness. He was fiercely glad, however, that she had _not_ abandoned their relationship, had _not_ started over with someone new. She easily could have done so.

Given her tone of voice when he had pressed her about it, he was sure that she had turned to someone for simple sex – but her tears, the longing in her voice when she told him that she missed him – no, her _heart_ had not been given to another.

He had asked her his question – _why_ – but she had not been able to answer him. He should perhaps not have been surprised at that. Nonetheless, it hurt deeply that all she could tell him was “I don't know.”

And then – she had tried to tell him that she loved him.

He had cut her off. He had brought the conversation to a rapid end, had not even allowed her to say goodbye – merely demanded that she call him in a week, and practically hung up on her.

Hearing how she choked, hearing her weep, had felt like stabbing himself in the gut.

He could survive that gut-wound feeling. He did not think he could survive hearing those words from her. Not now, not yet...not while so much remained unresolved between them.

His eyes burned, and he sat forward, splashing a little water on his face.

 _She misses me. She still cares. She hopes for forgiveness. But she still does not know why she ran from me, or cannot bring herself to tell me the truth_.

He sighed deeply. He knew his own heart. He knew what he hoped for, what he was willing to offer her.

Nothing less than speaking to her face to face would bring him true peace.

He got out of the bath, dried himself, and went about his careful, habitual preparations for morning. It was not until he lay in his bed, waiting for sleep to come, that he allowed himself to think of her again. Yet, it was not her face alone that appeared in his mind now; beside her was young Leveilleur.

 _Alphinaud is with her_.

He recalled, quite well, how the younger man had looked, that evening when he had asked Aymeric whether his intentions were honorable. He had _not_ sounded like a protective brother.

Alphinaud's infatuation with her had been obvious to Aymeric, the very first time they all met. When Berylla had battled against Shiva, Aymeric had plied the scholar with a bit of brandy to help keep him calm. Tipsy, Alphinaud had confided in the older man. Aymeric had listened most closely to the things he said about Berylla, naturally enough: at that time, he too had been rather infatuated with the Warrior, and not just because of all the things Haurchefant had told him.

By the time the three of them journeyed to the Mists, however, Alphinaud's attitude had shifted. He still, quite plainly, cared for Berylla – but what had been a teenage crush had grown into something more. For that matter, Alphinaud himself had grown, matured, over the months since they had come to Ishgard. Sitting in that cave, waiting out the storm – wrapped with Berylla, and Alphinaud sitting just on the other side of her, close enough that he could have ruffled the scholar's hair – that small interlude had been most pleasant. More than that – it had felt oddly comfortable, and _right_ , as if the three of them were simply meant to fit together that way.

And later, the night they had shared bedrolls, because they were camping in a much more open spot and needed to share warmth... He smiled into the dark. That, too, had felt comfortable, _comforting_ , and wholly natural.

He contemplated the likelihood that Alphinaud had offered some sort of comfort to Berylla. Perhaps she had even accepted his offer. He did not feel any jealousy or worry, as he had when he considered that foreign prince making advances to her.

He found himself, instead, wishing he had asked Alphinaud to take care of her. When he had come to regard the scholar with such trust? Did it matter?

He had not drunk any whiskey, tonight; it was not the very first night he had done without, but he was faintly surprised to have not even noticed the lack until now. Noticing, he decided he did not need it. The fog of grieving was lifting at last.

He yawned, and let sleep have him.

_**Castrum Oriens** : sunset _

Nightbird looked up as the messenger paused beside her. “Yes?” Her hands did not leave the arm of the soldier she was treating, her healing spell still soaking into the bone, easing pain and strengthening the young man's body.

“Ah, pardon, miss, but there's a message for you. A – a gentleman – wishes to speak to you. He was most specific that you meet him on the heights.”

Her eyebrows went up, and she nodded. “I understand. Thank you.”

She finished her rounds in the infirmary, firmly keeping her pace steady. There was no need to rush through her work. Estinien was well aware of what her duties were here. He would wait.

When at last she made her way to one of the unused watch-towers, the sun was just touching the horizon. She couldn't see him, but she could feel him there, and so when he alighted onto the platform, touching down without a sound behind her, she did not startle, just turned around and slipped into his embrace.

“Hello, little bird.”

He no longer wore the armor of the Azure Dragoon, of course, and she snuggled into his chest, breathing deep of his scent. His fingers stroked her hair.

“How goes your hunt, my dragoon?”

“Eh,” she felt him shrug, “I have found naught but a large hole in the ground thus far. Unfortunately, it does not appear the creature remains in that place. The trail has gone cold for now.”

“What will you do?”

“Something shocking.” His voice was dry as the hills around Rhalgr's Reach. “Rest.”

“Someone should make a note of it,” she laughed quietly. “Surely a legendary moment in your career, choosing the path of moderation and sensibility.”

His breath tickled her ear, and he squeezed her tighter. “How short a leash do they keep you on, here?”

“It has been nearly three months since I asked for any personal time,” she answered. “I am likely owed some few days of leave.” She shifted back to look up into his eyes. “It may take a day or two to arrange.”

“I intend to go check on Aymeric. Last time I saw him, he was still making a fool of himself over Berylla. I can wait for you there.”

Nightbird smiled. “I am sure she is making just as much of a fool of herself over him.” She toyed with the edge of his collar. “I will make my way there as soon as I am able.”

He leaned in and kissed her soundly, and she curled her aether into his, deepening the kiss and their embrace until their souls twined together for a fleeting moment of bliss.

“Do not dawdle on your way, little bird,” he murmured against her mouth as he let her go. “Your dragoon hungers for you as it is. Linger too long and I shall be as a starving wolf.”

“How exciting,” she teased, and stole one last kiss before stepping back.

He caressed her face once, and then turned and leaped from the tower, vanishing almost instantly into the twilight.

She leaned on the railing for a few minutes, letting the night wrap her in quiet, and wondered just what she might find, when she did return to Ishgard. She hoped Ser Aymeric was no longer drinking quite so heavily.

She had received an answer to her letter – penned in Alphinaud's hand, but he had made it clear the words belonged to both himself and Berylla. She smiled again, thinking over the tone of those words. She was glad the two of them had come to some kind of accord. It was no business of hers what that accord involved. If Berylla could navigate her way through the trouble she had caused herself with Aymeric... Well, that was a speculation that Nightbird was more than willing to save for later.

She straightened and made her way back to the ground, to go hunt up General Raubahn. He was still awake at this early hour.

_**Kugane** : Far East Branch Office, East Aldenard Trading Company _

Alphinaud stepped into the offices at the Ruby Bazaar and immediately heard Tataru's voice. He smiled slightly and nodded to the receptionist, who opened the door for him with a bow.

But when he had stepped through, and actually laid eyes on the Lalafellin woman, he had to blink a few times as his mind processed what he was seeing.

She was dressed in a fine silk kimono, hair done up in the local style, as elegant as any of the noblewomen he'd seen swanning about the city. The soft rose color of the silk complimented her very nicely, and she made quite the pretty picture. If he did not know better, he might have believed her a meek young lady of gentle birth – though, with her coloring, not a true Hingan native. It was quite a striking change from her habitual garb.

She gave him a sly grin, and he found himself grinning back.

“You look splendid, Tataru.” Then he cocked his head. “Might I ask what inspired this...change of wardrobe?”

“I'm meeting with people most every day, all over the city,” she answered promptly. “I make a much better impression if I'm dressed like a local – and you would not _believe_ some of the things folks will say to me over a bit of tea.” She smirked, and he wondered if she was collecting more than simple gossip. In the next instant, he decided he did not _want_ to know.

“I've a few things to collect,” he told her. “I know Alisaie contacted you last night, and I am quite certain none of what she requested is ready, but she wished me to ensure that everything reached Namai intact.” His mouth quirked. “I expect she still does not quite trust the Confederacy.”

Tataru laughed. “I hope you're willing to be put to work while you're waiting.”

“Of course.” He affected an elaborate bow that made her laugh once more. “How may I be of service, Lady Tataru?”

She had an array of tasks – none of them particularly onerous – and as he got started, Alphinaud reflected that even just a week ago, he would have resented his sister for shuffling him off to Kugane once more. The time he had spent with Berylla before she left for the Steppe had done a great deal to ease his mind.

To his surprise, there was news of Zenos, passed to Tataru by their contacts back in Gyr Abania. The Crown Prince had returned to the region, days ahead of his expected schedule. He must have left Doma Castle in the middle of night, very quietly indeed; there had been no word from any of Yugiri's agents within the stronghold. “We still don't know why he came running back,” Tataru told him, “but General Raubahn hasn't seen any extra activity so far. No attacks, not even heightened patrolling. He thinks perhaps Zenos has some personal reason for coming back so quickly.” She shrugged. “There isn't much else to say. All we can really do is speculate, until we have better reports. Thancred was being sent off to sneak around a bit, so I expect we'll hear more whenever he returns.”

Having arrived just after midday, it was closing time for the main offices by the time Alphinaud finished all the chores Tataru had given him. He ate dinner with Tataru and Hancock. For once, the blond Uldahn man was relatively pleasant. Tataru chatted with both of them about inconsequential things. She already knew what she needed to know about the coming battle, after all. The small talk helped him relax, and it occurred to him that he could do with an evening to unwind.

Alphinaud decided to take himself to the baths after dinner. They would be very quiet at this hour, and he would likely be able to get one of the pools to himself. A hot soak could do him nothing but good. He left word with the receptionist and headed out.

The bath-house was indeed largely deserted; he paid his fee and he entered the changing area to find only one other man there. The old fellow paid no heed to Alphinaud whatsoever, intent on something small in his hands.

Alphinaud hurried anyway, and was very relieved to get into his bathing attire and escape to the soaking pool. He heaved a huge sigh as he sank neck deep in the steaming water. He feared he might _never_ get used to the casual ease with which these folk bared their bodies. His lips twisted as he imagined how Berylla would hoot with laughter if she knew about his self-consciousness. Alisaie, too.

He put such thoughts firmly out of his mind and half closed his eyes, leaning back against the carefully sculpted rock, letting the heat soak into him. The hot pools here were cleverly crafted – he was certain that they were not in fact _natural_ hot springs, but a great deal of work had gone into simulating the general appearance of such, while ameliorating all the little discomforts found in nature.

The bottom of each pool was smoothed, and a rough sort of “bench” ran all the way round the inside, with a slightly more elevated set of steps to simplify entry and exit. Artfully placed plantings broke up sound, nicely isolating each pool just a bit, and the view was truly quite lovely.

He glanced up as he heard a footstep, and fought to keep his expression neutral. Hancock had just walked out from the changing area, and was heading straight for the pool where Alphinaud sat. He watched through his lashes as Hancock moved slowly around the edge of the water. He had hoped for _quiet_ this evening...

Despite his irritation with the man, he could not fail to notice the almost timid way that the blond merchant moved. Hancock found the steps that led down into the hot pool and descended, slowly, as if feeling his way. When at last he sank down into the water, the older man heaved a sigh of relief.

“Without my spectacles,” he said, leaning back against the pool wall, “I'm afraid I'm nearly blind. But the steam makes them useless.” He laughed wryly. “A lucky thing for me that Lord Lolorito values a man on the merits of his mind, not the strength of his body – or his sight as the case may be.”

Alphinaud shrugged. He certainly had nothing polite to say about Lord Lolorito, after all. But Hancock seemed determined to make conversation.

“Even blind as I am right now, however, I cannot fail to perceive that you are rather tense, Master Leveilleur.”

Alphinaud simply closed his eyes.

“I have found,” Hancock added, in a helpful tone, “that massage can help immensely with stress, and tension headaches as well. The Far Eastern techniques are...” He chuckled. “Quite enlightening.”

“I am fine.”

“Ah,” Hancock shrugged. “As you wish. A pity, though. The House of the Dahlia has quite the loveliest surroundings. Then again, there is also the House of the Peony for the...hm, energetic and adventurous.” The man hummed again, thoughtfully. “But I must say, the House of the Honeysuckle is a favorite of many a diplomat and married man. Their discretion is second to none.”

Alphinaud's brow knit. Was Hancock really recommending _pillow houses_ to him? He kept silent, and Hancock thankfully let it drop.

But a couple of hours later, as he lay waiting for sleep, his mind could not help but revisit the man's brazen suggestions.

He was no stranger to the notion of brothels, after all. In Sharlayan, there were many individuals whose profession was, in polite society, termed “intimacy counselor.” Their tasks ranged from simple relaxation to advanced research, and could include anything in between. It was not uncommon for young men to visit such counselors, often just after their coming of age at sixteen. Alphinaud himself _could_ have, but he was rather more focused on leaving Sharlayan than on... extraneous activities.

In Uldah it was quite the fashionable thing for a young man of good breeding to be “initiated” via a visit to a pillow house. He had overheard a group of Lalafellin youths discussing just such an outing, once, whilst waiting for Thancred at the Quicksilver.

Now, he rather wished he had not blushed and closed his ears.

Berylla had thought he was joking about researching the ways of love, but he had been quite serious. There _were_ , after all, some few Sharlayan manuals on the topic. The information couldn't be that hard to come by... Or so he had thought.

Eorzeans did not, apparently, devote true study to such things. There were _fictional_ texts in plenty that referenced the act – but he very much doubted that the fanciful tales of an author like Bountiful Hornblower were going to be much help to him.

Even thinking about the things he had read in the one novel he'd surreptitiously borrowed from Tataru made his ears burn. Fanciful indeed. Surely such things were not the norm in the bedroom.

However, from what he had gleaned...even in Eorzea, a professional in the field ought to be able to give him some practical advice. The trouble was...how did one go about arranging a suitably discreet visit?


	36. Warrior's Mead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a bit of drinking in this chapter, and what could be considered substance abuse? If you have an aversion, please be aware (it's the last part of this chapter).

I managed to dry my eyes and get my shit together – at least, outwardly – before anyone walked past that wasn't a Xaela. I had a feeling that if any of my fellow adventurers had seen me bawling like that... No, I didn't want to have _that_ mortifying conversation. I carefully stowed Aymeric's link-pearl in my pouch, and then I shook out my hair, and tied it up again.

_I need something to do. Something to keep my mind busy._

My stomach growled, and I took that as a suggestion.

It did not take long at all for me to follow my nose to the cook-fire – or rather, cook-fires _plural_ , because there were four of them, but only one middle aged Xaela man tending them all. I watched for a moment as he moved from spot to spot, noticing the makeshift “kitchen” in the middle of the four fires. Then, I stepped forward and got his attention.

“Hm? Oh! Oh, one of the _ijin_ , hello,” he paused a moment to stir the pot beside him, “I hope you are not seeking food yet for it is not done – ”

“Actually, if you would allow, I was going to offer to help. You look...a little busy.”

“Oh I am, I am,” he nodded rapidly, then blinked. “You want to _help_ me?”

“I know how to cook – well at least the basics,” I said with a very small bow. “And I admit I would love to learn more about the way your people cook things. I've never shied away from a new flavor or a little hard work. So if you'll have me...?”

“Father Sun is gracious and kind!” The man grinned hugely. “I would be very glad of help. I am called Esugen, and you are?”

“I'll answer to hey you,” I joked, “but my name's Berylla.”

“A-are you sure you wish to aid one so lowly as I?” His smile ran away and he looked anxious for a moment.

“I've done a few chores for the Most Radiant Brother,” I shrugged. “Whatever your status is, _I_ don't think helping make dinner is any less important than picking bundles of herbs.” I noticed a pair of Buduga watching us, and saw the way they sneered a little in the cook's direction. “And clearly some people have rocks in their heads when it comes to honoring those who fill their bellies.” I said it loud enough for them to hear me.

They scowled and walked off, but Esugen regarded me with wide eyes.

“You really are a foreigner,” he murmured. “They respect strength – and I have none. That is why I tend to the fires.”

“Where I'm from,” I shrugged, “no one who wants to eat _well_ cares to piss off the man – or woman – in charge of the food. You do realize, don't you, that you have the single most important job in this village?” He looked shocked, and I pressed my point. “You could burn all the meat and give them unleavened bread to live off of. You could make them miserable without once actually poisoning them or even weakening them. Edible doesn't mean tasty.” I took a deliberately deep breath, and grinned widely at his still-astonished expression. “And I can tell you right now, Esugen, what you've got cooking in those pots? It's going to be _tasty_.”

For a moment he looked like he might cry.

“So, I ask you once more, may I give you a hand?”

“Y-yes. Thank you.”

“Great!” I cracked my knuckles, and gestured to him. “Tell me what we need to get done first.”

Getting a whole village of folks fed might have seemed like a large job – but I'd helped out feeding the masses of people working on that first phase of Ishgard's restoration project, and there weren't _that_ many Xaela up here.

The first to get fed were the warriors. For the most part, they were distantly polite – with some muttering going on among the younger men. By the third time I'd dropped a not at all subtle hint that being an asshole wasn't a trait likely to get them laid, they shut up. Or at least they took their mutters out of earshot, which was good enough for me.

The rest of the villagers seemed far friendlier to Esugen at least. They were wary of me – but that was fine with me. It let me concentrate on handling the food, let me avoid thinking too much.

All the rest of the adventurers, except for Hien and Lyse, showed up for food in a big group. The white-haired dragoon – I _still_ couldn't quite remember his name, and I felt bad for it – murmured to me as he accepted a bowl of stew, “We're all going to rest together; no one wants to go into any of these tents.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Seems like these folks aren't particularly intent on harming us – though I don't blame you for wanting to be cautious.”

“You are welcome to join us.”

“Thanks,” but my smile was only polite. “I might hang out here a bit longer – help clean up and so forth. I collect recipes, so that's going to be my pay for all this.”

It wasn't quite true, but it was close enough, and it was plain that my words settled the fellow's mind. He nodded once, and took himself off to wolf down his stew.

Esugen, for all his claims of being frail and weak, was a hard working guy. While I helped him clean up, and helped prepare things for the next day that needed to soak or simmer, he talked quietly about the various ingredients and the dishes he was making, the traditions and stories behind them. It was good information, and it felt _very_ good to listen to someone so passionate about his work.

I promised him – and myself – that I would return to help him again, even after the Nadaam was done. No matter which way the Nadaam fell out, I honestly liked the fellow. He was earnest and honest and just needed a little bit of a boost, to learn to stand up to the attitudes of the young and stupid.

When he gently shooed me away, it was so late it was early. Not very long before dawn, if I wasn't reading the stars completely wrong.

I walked around for a little – the night sentries saw me, and one of them frowned, but let me alone. I found a spot on the eastern side of the castle where some supplies had been stacked, and decided to climb on top of the pile of hay bales and sit there.

I braced my back against the stone wall – pleased to find that it was still warm from the sun – and looked at the sky.

_Why did you run away from me?_

The stars went fuzzy in my vision.

 _I don't know_. I was so _angry_ with myself for saying that. _What kind of idiot doesn't know her own heart? What kind of coward can't deal with her feelings enough to even label them?_ But trying to unravel the things I felt when I thought about getting married – even now! – made my heart race, my mouth go dry.

 _I really do need to talk to someone...someone who can help me figure out what's inside my own head. Gods, I wish Nightbird were here. Maybe she could zap me with a song or something_.

I snorted at my own thought. _Even if she could, she wouldn't_. I imagined her, looking up at me with that sly smile she had sometimes, one hand on her hip. _“You can figure this out if you try hard enough.” That's what she'd tell me. “One thing at a time.”_

I took a long breath, shivering. The breeze had turned chill but that wasn't what was making me feel so cold on the inside. I blinked away the tears and tried, again, to take it one thing at a time.

It was no good. My thoughts scattered, like gravel skidding across ice.

“I can't do this alone.” The words fell from my lips and I blinked – I hadn't meant to say it out loud. But somehow, giving voice to the thought seemed to knock something loose in my head.

Alphinaud's face, Alphinaud's voice... _I don't_ _ **have**_ _to do it alone._

I leaned my head against the stone, and closed my eyes.

The next thing I knew, the sun was shining on my face.

I made a point of taking breakfast down to Lyse and Hien.

They both thanked me, but the way they were yawning told me that they had not slept well. Or maybe they hadn't slept at all. _Well, none of my business_. I caught Lyse giving me a look, but I turned away, not wanting to start up a discussion in front of the nosy guard. Time enough to talk later, when we were out of here.

_And where the hell is Gosetsu, anyway?_

I spent the morning with Esugen, this time telling him a few cooking stories of my own. He had just sent me off again when I heard the commotion near the aetheryte.

I saw Gosetsu almost immediately as I came near to the castle gate. He lifted one hand, and I followed him and the two guards that had attached themselves to him. The blond – _Felina, maybe? Gods, I need to write these names down_ – stalked beside the samurai, though she looked slightly less pissed than yesterday. The way her tail waved the moment she caught sight of her Elezen friend made it clear where her priorities lay.

By the time I elbowed my way into the throne room, Magnai was already ordering that Lyse and Hien be fetched from below. His golden eyes flickered over to me, and he gave me the barest nod. I answered that nod with one of my own, and deliberately turned my eyes away from him to look at Gosetsu instead. The rest of the captives were gathering behind me, and as he glanced back, I smiled at him, hoping it would reassure him. After everything, I was certain Magnai wasn't about to go back on his word.

The guard wasted no time; in just a couple of minutes he hustled the two of them in. Gosetsu smiled immediately at Hien.

“My lord, Lyse, you are unharmed?”

Hien nodded once, with a small sideways look at Lyse and a grin. Before more greetings could be exchanged, Magnai spoke.

“By your deeds have you proven yourselves to be warriors brave and true. You may return to the Mol and make ready for the Naadam...on one condition.” Before any of us could bristle, he sat forward. “To fight in the Naadam is to be bound by it. Swear, here and now, to abide by the law of the Steppe. To accept the supreme authority of the khagan, whomsoever it may be.”

There was no hesitation. All of us chorused – loudly – “We swear!”

With no further ceremony, Magnai waved his hand, and the guards pulled back to the walls. Felina spun on her heel and walked briskly out, clearly ready to shake the dust of the Dawn Throne off her spike-heeled boots. The rest of them followed her; I gestured for Hien to leave before me, so I'd be the last one out.

For an instant I thought about saying something to Magnai – a smart-ass remark was so very tempting. But I controlled my immature urge to taunt him, and merely walked out. I could feel his eyes on me, until the doors closed.

Hien was in a very good mood as we all gathered near one of the platforms. “Well done, my friends. I knew you would not fail.” Whistles began to sound, one after another, as everyone took their leave as swiftly as they could. He glanced around, and smiled. “I should be glad to hear of your experiences with the Dotharl, Gosetsu. But as time is of the essence, let us converse en route.” He pulled his own whistle from his pouch and made an expansive gesture with his other hand. “Come, come─Cirina and the others are waiting!”

The flight back to the Mol village was short and sweet, and I barely listened to Gosetsu's recounting of the things he had seen and learned. I wanted to be done with this place, with this contest, with this war. I had a sudden fierce desire to just use the aetherytes and go _home_. It took me until we had all landed and gathered at the village gates to wrestle it down.

The entire village was roused by the time I finally dismounted. Cirina was at the front of the crowd, of course, and threw her arms wide as she saw Hien make his way to the middle of the chaos of adventurers.

“Thank the gods you are all right! When you failed to return, I feared the worst.” For an instant she looked as if she might hug the Doman prince, but then she turned her radiant smile on me, too. “But here you are, hale and whole! And you survived Bardam's Mettle!”

“That we did,” I nodded. “Those Oronir need manners. They could've sent word to you.”

Hien laughed aloud at the sarcasm in my tone. Then, the whole mass of people – villagers and adventurers both – began to swirl together. It seemed like _everyone_ had made a friend or two, and swiftly the chaos subsided, leaving just me and Hien standing with Cirina for the moment.

She smiled up at Hien. “I am glad your other friends found you as well.”

“Yes, about that...” He cocked his head. “Perhaps I should ask Temulun Khatun, but surely you can tell me a little bit about how they came to be at Bardam's Mettle? Which they too survived, of course. They are most capable warriors, all.”

“To be honest,” I added, “we weren't expecting a lot of...uh...reinforcements.”

Cirina laughed. “My grandmother was taken with a vision from the gods, mere moments after you all left. She awoke and told us that many outlanders were about to arrive, and that all of them were to be trusted – that they were allies to you and yours, and were here to help the Mol.” Her pretty face was alight with excitement. “Blessed are we to have you as allies. With your strength, we may have a chance.”

Hien nodded. “Shall we go and greet the khatun, then?”

“Of course,” Cirina bowed to him.

Temulun Khatun was very happy to see us, and in short order we had observed all the necessary formalities. Cirina sent me off to go round up a hunting group. “The gods have decreed mammoth for the warrior feast,” she told me with a smile, “but with so many guests, it shall take more than one beast to feed everyone.”

I bowed to her, and trotted off.

Hien joined me as I was organizing everyone. I had never hunted mammoth in my life, but I'd seen the beasts. Taking down even one was going to be no joke. I was just grateful that we would have two whole days to prepare _this_ feast – and that we had twelve more capable hunters to do it with.

“All right, sort yourselves out – please tell me some of you have worked together before?” There was a rumble of discussion, a little shuffling, and then I had three groups of four gathered in front of me, just as the Doman prince walked up.

“Ah,” he smiled at them, “Our hunters, I take it?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, “I was thinking that maybe you could take charge of one group and I can take one and – um, hm.” I paused, not sure if I should ask Gosetsu or Lyse or –

“Cirina may wish to join the hunt, this time,” Hien said. “She is quite as proficient with a bow as with a skillet. I shall ask her – if the khatun does not have need of her, there should be no problem.”

“Thanks, Hien.” I turned back to the rest. “That okay with all of you?” I didn't expect any argument – after all, this effort was going to fill their bellies if not their money pouches.

A quiet chorus of assent was my answer, and in just a few moments Hien came back, with Cirina on his heels. She was carrying a huge bow and wore a wide smile.

I gave the two of them a little bow, and then waved to the four adventurers on my right.

“You four are with me,” I told them. “Let's get moving. Sooner we take down the prey, sooner we get back, sooner we eat!”

This time, the feast was accompanied by drinking.

“What is this stuff, anyway?” I asked Cirina, after my second big swallow. Everyone else was sharing, but I had grabbed one skin for myself without a blush. No one said a word, and there didn't seem to be a shortage. The drink was sweet, fiery, and strangely herbal all at once.

“Warrior's mead,” she answered, taking a swallow of her own and then handing off the skin to the next person. Her cheeks were rosy and her smile was wide. “We make it from honey and special herbs blessed by the _udgan_. The skins tonight were made three years ago.” She belched delicately. “They are just aged enough.”

“Warrior's mead, huh.” I drank some more. “Good stuff.”

“Good stuff,” she echoed, and then giggled. I grinned at her.

Somewhere around the halfway mark on my skin of mead, the atmosphere around the fire changed. All the young ones had gone off to their beds, and the oldest folks too. The only people remaining were those of us who would fight tomorrow.

My head was pleasantly hazy from the liquor, and at first I didn't register the way folks had begun shedding pieces of clothing. But when Cirina, still sitting next to me, suddenly stood up and shucked her outer coat – that, I noticed. I looked up at her, questioning, and she stretched and gave me a sunny smile. “I am too warm!”

Then she stripped off the short sleeved vest she had on, and started unbuttoning the shirt beneath that.

I blinked, and glanced around, only to see that almost everyone was in some state of undress.

I swallowed hard as I noticed Lyse twining herself with the tall Elezen mage, the dark-haired woman that had spoken up back in the dungeon. Both of them were in nothing but their smalls, and it looked like Lyse was about to relieve the mage of those too.

 _I haven't had that much of this stuff, and I know I drink faster than Lyse does. What the hells is going on?_ I looked at the skin in my hand, and took another, slower swallow, tasting of it this time. Herbs... _Herbs?_

I glanced back at Cirina, and I knew I was blushing even before she giggled at me. She was naked from the waist up, and while it was a _very_ pretty sight...

“Cirina, what's really in this mead?”


	37. Aphrodisiac

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Group sex in this chapter, just to let folks know; and I added the dubcon tag since Berylla is technically under the influence

“What's in the mead, Cirina?”

“All the herbs to give warriors strength and courage and virility,” she answered promptly, and then giggled again. “It is a very special brew, very old, all of the tribes of the Steppe have some version of it. Very important, to enjoy all that life has to offer us before we go to die.”

_Oh._ _**Oh** _ _..._

I wasn't sure how I felt about this. And yet, the mead was affecting me too. I felt feverishly hot, and my uncertainty and embarrassment was beginning to waver in that heat. _Aphrodisiac. Of course._

I got up, and took a couple of steps away from the fire. _Maybe I should...take a walk_. But my feet didn't move.

Hien strolled up, smiling and shirtless. Cirina made a funny sort of growl, and pounced on him, flinging her arms around his neck. He laughed, and kissed her. I backed away further as the two of them went down to the ground.

All around the fire, now, people were pairing off, or sat in groups of three or four, hands wandering over bare skin. No one seemed to care that I was the only person still fully dressed. _I could leave and no one would notice, or be offended, and I really...should...go._

I felt hands on my shoulders, and then arms wrapped around me.

“Don't go running off, now, Berylla.”

“Lyse, I um – ”

I turned in her arms and she planted a kiss on my mouth, a kiss that tasted of mead and lust.

She eased back, and tugged my hands. I followed her, hesitant, and when she pushed me down onto my knees beside the dark-haired Elezen, I didn't resist.

“She's a little shy, Luna.” Lyse laughed, low and sweet, her breath hot against my ear.

The mage's eyes were so dilated that I couldn't tell what color they were. She was naked as her nameday, and just a bit taller than me, with skin like ivory in the firelight. Her body was lean and angular, reminding me somehow of mountains; her breasts were proud peaks, and at her groin, an abundance of surprisingly pale curls seemed to gather like a storm cloud.

I blinked and dragged my eyes back to her face, momentarily mortified to have been ogling her like some brazen drunk in a bar. But Luna just smiled. She reached for me and tugged my hair loose from its tail. Lyse tugged my shirt open and pulled it down, off my shoulders. I shivered, nipples tightening in the night air, and Lyse murmured reassurance against my neck. Her fingers caressed my breasts and her own breasts were warm against my back. When Luna kissed me, a deep, hungry kiss, the flickering fire of lust in my belly flared.

I lurched forward, kissing her back, one arm over her shoulders and the other hand slipping down to cup her high, firm breasts. She tasted delicious, a hint of wine beneath the mead, and her own hands weren't shy as she stroked my sides and my hips, tugging my pants open.

I lowered my head, brushing my lips along her elegant neck, and then over the upper swell of her breast. Her nipples were dusky, and she hissed a little when I licked at them.

Behind me, Lyse was rubbing her breasts against me, and alternated between playing with my nipples and kneading my ass. Her cheek rested against my shoulder blade, and every time she shifted which parts of me she was playing with, she kissed me gently.

Meanwhile, Luna had one hand in my hair, and her other hand was busy on my sex.

I moaned against her nipple when her fingers brushed over my clit. Drunk, awkward and eager, I wriggled, ending up on my side, then my back, as I fought to get my pants the rest of the way off. Lyse giggled, and helped me. Luna simply adjusted her position, and slipped her fingers inside of me.

Lyse shifted around, until she could reach the Elezen. I pushed myself up on one arm, and fondled Lyse's breast even as she leaned in to kiss the dark-haired woman.

Luna slid her fingers out of my sex, and put them into Lyse's mouth. I groaned with lust as I watched my friend greedily suck my slick off those long, elegant fingers, and then I moved so that I could attack Luna's dusky, pert nipples once more.

My position was such that I could see when Lyse slid her hand down along the trim belly and then cupped the dark curls below that. I felt Luna's breath quicken even as I watched Lyse's fingers vanish inside, and my own sex rippled in reaction.

I continued to suckle and stroke the taller woman, while Lyse fucked her at a leisurely pace. I watched as Luna returned the favor, elegant fingers sliding in and out of Lyse's eager sex. Sweat and slick spangled the golden curls, and I wanted to lean down and taste of them both.

Before I could act on that wish, though, Lyse let out a little cry, shuddered, and came on Luna's pumping fingers.

It was too much to handle, and I surged between the two of them, wrapping Lyse in my arms and pushing her over until she lay on her back. I kissed her hard, and then pushed her legs wide and scrambled to get my head between her thighs.

All I wanted in that moment was to have her coming in my mouth, to devour the sweetness of her.

There was a throaty chuckle behind me. Even as I slipped my tongue inside Lyse's sex, even as her fingers knotted in my hair, I felt long elegant hands stroking me, and then Luna thrust three fingers into me and started to fuck me, hard. I groaned, and Lyse shrieked as my voice buzzed against her already-sensitive flesh.

I licked and sucked at her, almost frantic, moaning again as those wonderful fingers ravished me from behind. It didn't take long before Lyse was bucking under me, crying out, juices gushing over my cheeks and tongue.

I shuddered, on the edge of coming, and then Lyse was twisting away from me, gasping. Luna – with a strength that surprised me, coming from a mage – turned me over onto my back.

She performed a rather impressive maneuver to reverse herself, so that she knelt over my face, and yet did not remove her hand from me. The demand was too obvious to ignore, and I gladly lapped at her, sinking my fingers inside of her sex even as I fluttered my tongue over her folds. She tasted different from Lyse, heady and earthy and rich.

Her clit was large, and throbbing with need. It was easy to latch onto it and suck on it. I groaned at the same time that she did. Throughout all of it, those long elegant fingers didn't falter, fucking me mercilessly. I felt her walls trembling, and she whimpered.

The sounds – the tastes – everything about what was happening – it all blended together, my flesh sang with tension for an instant, and then my heels were drumming on the ground as I came, crying out into the warm wet sex above me.

Luna released me, and tumbled to the side. I lay there for a moment, panting naked under the stars. I heard, all around me, the sounds of pleasure and passion.

Lyse appeared in my line of sight, and I was faintly aware that I had no idea how long I had been laying there. _These herbs are some seriously good shit_.

I turned on my side to put my arm around her and snuggle in. She caressed me, her hair tangled up and getting in her face, her blue eyes gone dark from how her pupils were blown wide.

“I want more of that tongue of yours,” she muttered to me, and I nodded.

I kissed my way down her body. Peripherally I noticed that Cirina was no longer tangled with Hien, but was riding one of the Mol men, her slim body tensing even as he groaned and bucked helplessly beneath her.

Just as I noticed that, I felt someone trail their fingers up my spine. It tickled and made me sit up on my heels a bit. I glanced around, but Luna had moved off. I could just see her, mouth open and moaning, as one of the Xaela men fucked her enthusiastically.

Kneeling just behind me, his hand still trailing down my shoulder, was Hien.

“May I join in?”

Lyse grinned and pushed herself up on her elbows, even as Hien came around us, crawling on hands and knees to get to her. Unbound, his hair was wilder than ever. His eyes were merry and the firelight danced over his body, glistening off of sweat.

He kissed Lyse, and then turned towards me. His hand reached out, and he stroked my jaw as he leaned close. His lips rested against mine, his eyes half shut, but he waited.

What little resistance I had left melted. I pressed my mouth to his, and opened for him, inviting the kiss, yearning for it. There was nothing else in the world right now – only the flesh beneath my lips, my hands, the people touching me, the people who wanted me to touch them, and the pleasure... _gods, the pleasure_.

When he released me from that kiss, I let my eyes drift down, and smiled to see that I had guessed right. He too was unaltered, just as Magnai had been. _Well, I'm going to get to satisfy my curiosity now._

Hien leaned over towards Lyse, and kissed her again, resting slightly on his side with his legs a bit spread apart. He reached down and began to stroke her sex, and she hummed in her throat and put her arm around his neck.

There was room for me between Hien's thighs, and I took the opportunity to lean in. His thighs were nicely muscled, and there was a pleasing solidness to him as I let my hand roam over him. But once I had my fingers wrapped around his cock, other details faded away.

He was longer than I might have guessed – almost as long as Aymeric. He was thicker at his base than at the head of his cock, a tapered shape that looked like it was going to feel wonderful. It was plain that he had taken the time to clean himself; water spangled the coarse black curls around his manhood. As I leaned in, I caught his scent – spicy-sweet beneath the musk of sweat and sex. It made my mouth water, and I stroked him gently, allowing the motion of my hand to drag back that so-flexible skin. Hien moaned softly, and leaned up a little, to look down at me.

I flicked a glance at him for only a second before I returned my full attention to taking him into my mouth. I heard Lyse murmuring. “Damn, Berylla, you make me want to do that too.”

That made me laugh a little, down in my throat, and I felt Hien's fingers in my hair as he groaned once more.

He tasted like he smelled – cinnamon and ginger and a hint of fennel. He was long enough that I needed to use my hand to manage him – I wasn't in a good position for trying to take him into my throat. I felt him moving, and knew he had resumed fondling Lyse when I heard her give a little hungry moan.

Soon he was fucking her with his fingers, making her pant harshly. I bobbed my head in rhythm with his motions, so that I wasn't in his way. I couldn't have said how long it took before Lyse let out a little shriek – but when she came, Hien groaned deeply.

I glanced up, to see him kissing her one more time even as he withdrew his fingers from her shuddering sex; then he had both his hands in my hair, and he was fucking up into my mouth. His eyes were shut and smaller groans escaped him despite how he clenched his jaw. As he bucked against me, my eyes watered, but I did my best to take all his length.

I was glad I had when he began to come. Having him almost down my throat meant I didn't lose any of the hot come, and in that moment it tasted too good to let it go to waste.

I let him go, and he tugged me up along his body, even while Lyse shifted over to make room for me. With her on one side of me and Hien on the other, I lay on my back, sweaty and trembling.

Hien kissed me, and then dropped his head to kiss and nibble at my breasts. Lyse combed her fingers through my hair, and gave me little, sweet kisses now and then.

The sweat dried on our bodies, but we stayed together, stroking and petting, playing with each other a little even as we rested. All around the fire, bodies moved, voices moaned and cried out, a quiet music that seemed to keep all of us aroused.

I was carding my fingers through Hien's midnight hair when he began to fondle my sex once more. His fingers were thick, and I wriggled in pleasure as I opened for him. Lyse smiled, and kissed me deeply, then set her mouth on my nipple, making me hiss and moan in renewed pleasure.

Then, she began to kiss her way down my body, until she knelt between my legs, her hands stroking my flanks. Hien still slid his fingers in and out of me in a slow rhythm, as Lyse set her own fingers against my outer folds.

I panted, looking down my body at her, watching as she spread me open just a little, and leaned down.

I yipped as she flicked her tongue across my clit. Hien chuckled, and angled his hand, giving Lyse more room to work.

My eyes squeezed shut as my head went back; my hands knotted in Hien's hair and my hips pumped, grinding my sex against both of them. I couldn't believe what they were doing to me – but it felt so _gods-damned good_ – filled by those thick strong fingers, even while Lyse swirled her tongue around my clit, tormenting it in the sweetest way.

Then Lyse sucked on my clitoris, and I saw stars. I shrieked once, and came, bucking hard.

I had barely caught my breath when Hien tugged me, urging me to turn over, dragging my leg over his own.

Panting, I levered myself up, and straddled him, letting his cock rub against my outer folds. Lyse crawled up, then clambered onto her knees to kiss me hard.

Having kissed me, she kept moving, until she had thrown her leg over Hien's face. She was facing me as she balanced herself over him, and kissed me again. Hien's hands stroked my hips, then drifted up to caress Lyse's belly.

I lifted my hips, and took him.

Hien groaned, and Lyse hissed, letting her head fall back.

I shut my eyes for a moment, savoring the feel of him. He was long and satisfying and all I wanted was to stay like this for as long as I could, wanted him to make me scream as I came on that wonderful cock.

I cupped her breasts, and rubbed my thumbs across her nipples, even as I began to ride Hien.

She clutched my shoulders, and as Hien gripped her hips, she brought her head back and began to kiss me between her gasps and moans. Soon enough I was moaning too, clinging to her, lost in ecstasy.

I could hear Hien eating her out, slick sloppy noises that made my own sex quiver. Lyse's hands were on my breasts now, her tongue fencing with mine.

I sped up the pace, grunting as Hien bucked his hips up into me to make every stroke harder. I felt Lyse quivering, but I was the one that came first this time, the orgasm flashing over me so fast I couldn't even cry out.

Lyse held me hard as I went stiff. Hien's hands gripped my hips now, even as Lyse ground herself against his mouth. That cock – that gloriously thick cock – pounded into me, and my orgasm kept going and going. I was sure I was going to pass out, but Lyse wouldn't let me fall and Hien wouldn't let me stop coming and I was falling apart, I couldn't see, I couldn't think, and then –

Lyse shrieked and lifted herself, shuddering. Hien thrust up into me one last time and let out a groan as if he had taken a death-wound, even as his cock exploded inside of me.

Lyse let me go, and I fell over onto my side, utterly boneless. I was winded, exhausted, and yet every part of me was completely suffused with bliss.

Hien lay on his back, staring up at the sky and panting.

Lyse crawled over to me, and snuggled up against me. My arm felt like it was made of lead, but I managed to drape it over her, and curled my legs up. Despite the fact that I was naked, lying on grass, no blanket or bedroll in sight – despite the fact that the others around the fire were still pleasuring each other – I shut my eyes, and tumbled headlong into sleep.

It was still night when Hien woke me, gently shaking my shoulder.

I made a little noise of protest, but leaned up on one arm. The fire had burned down to embers, and he knelt beside me, grinning. He had a blanket over his arm.

“It would be wise to go inside, now,” he told me.

“I have no legs,” I mumbled. I felt numb, and my head was stuffed full of cotton.

He laughed very softly, and said, “Very well.”

Then, he scooped me up in his arms.

I squeaked, and put my arms around his neck, clinging tightly. Despite the fact that I was a good bit taller than him, he showed no sign that he was having trouble carrying me. And carry me he did, all the way to my spot inside the sleeping tent, as if I were no more trouble than a sleepy child. He set me down and tucked the blanket over me, and before I could manage even a thank-you, he was gone.


	38. Nadaam

Somehow, everyone was awake and ready just before dawn.

The air was clear, not a cloud in the sky. We had all discussed tactics for the last couple of days and everyone knew the plan – such as it was. No one would be taking to the air; we would run to the ovoo. Efforts would go into ensuring that Hien and I reached the spot. We wanted to get there with as many others as possible, but we two absolutely had to make it. We were the best chance the Mol had of winning this.

All evidence of last night's debauchery was gone, and whether it was the warrior herbs or not, every face around me was full of determination.

The sun crested the rim of the mountains to the east.

Cirina shouted, her arm flung outward. “There!”

I saw the flash of brilliant golden light too. It was time.

There were fewer than fifty of us, between the Mol warriors and the adventurers and we Scions. But when we surged forward, our war cry rang out across the dawn air, louder than trumpets.

For the first few moments, the land was quiet, only the sound of our running footsteps accompanying our charge. Joy whistled once, her eyes blazing with eagerness.

Just as we crossed the first stream between us and the ovoo, yellow robes popped up out of the long grass.

“Oronir!”

Half our force peeled off to smash into the enemy. For an instant I started to join them.

“Keep moving!” shouted Hien. “Don't look back, Berylla, don't stop for anything! We'll guard your back!”

Some fool of a mage in blue robes stepped into my path, and I lashed out with my axe and took him down. To my left, Joy screeched and I heard a grunt as she kicked someone. I could smell blood and dust. Screams rang out, shouts and curses and wails of pain. This was more intense even than the Grand Melee had been – but my blood sang and I felt as if I could wade through the enemies around me forever.

I ran.

“You came, as I knew you would.” Magnai grinned at me, the golden light of the ovoo casting strange shadows over his features.

I lifted my axe and answered his grin with one of my own.

Both of us shouted as we charged forward.

His axe was a lot bigger than mine and he had the advantage of an inch or two in height. I let him think he had me on the back foot for a moment, just long enough for that smug, confident smile to flicker across his face.

Then I smashed my forehead into his nose.

He staggered, cursing, and swept his axe in a wide arc, somewhat blindly. The other Oronir escorting him scattered, and I heard Hien shouting, heard Cirina's high voice calling out in answer. _Thank the Twelve, the Mol made it here too!_

All around the ovoo, battle was joined.

I focused on Magnai, trusting Cirina and the others to keep the Oronir off me. I had no doubt whatsoever that if they got the chance, they would swarm me and take me down just with sheer numbers. I could see the intention in Magnai's eyes. There would be no “generous offer” this time. He was out for my blood, and he would kill me if he could.

_Good thing I don't plan to let that happen_.

I summoned up my aether and pressed forward. I didn't give the big guy time to do more than retreat for a few exchanges, chasing him right to the edge of the ovoo's circle. If I could force him out and keep him out...

The back of my neck prickled even before Hien yelled, “Ware!”

I ducked and rolled, and heard the crackle of fire passing through where I had been. I heard Magnai grunt in pain, and looked up as I regained my feet to see him swiping at his robes.

A woman – dark skinned, with white hair and blazing blue eyes, and wearing blue – stood inside the ovoo circle. She let out an unholy screech and flung fire at me again.

This time I deflected it. _I don't need two opponents at once, dammit! Who is this crazy bitch?_

Hien slammed into her, and from her other side Gosetsu showed up. Both of them stood shoulder to shoulder between me and the mage. I left them to it and turned back to Magnai.

Just in time. I barely blocked his attack, and scrambled to the side. This time it was him chasing me for a little bit, but I had learned from our sparring match, and I was waiting, not retreating.

He began once more to grin, the moment he believed he was gaining the upper hand. He went for another overhead strike – they were devastatingly powerful and very spectacular, and he favored them a lot.

I unleashed my fury on him.

My axe moved so fast that it looked like there were two blades, not one, spinning circles that threw sparks fanning out from me. The whirlwind of blade and aether slammed into his chest and sent him flying. His axe dropped, and I grabbed it and flung it out of the ovoo circle, as far from where Magnai had exited as I could.

A shout of denial and frustration from the Oronir still battling – but now blue had joined the yellow and the red, and everything was utter chaos.

I spun on my heel, looking for the blue clad sorceress.

Gosetsu was on one knee just outside the circle, panting, and Hien was defending his samurai from the ferocious barrage of spells. The woman's mouth was spread wide in a murderous, maniacal grin.

I charged – and slammed face first into a stone that hadn't been there an instant before.

I bounced backwards from it, staggered a step or two, and snarled as I heard her laughing.

The stone – a great slab like the weird walking stones near the Mettle – tilted forward, creaking, about to come down on my head and squash me like a bug.

Except I wasn't going to hold still for that.

I jumped straight up.

I was no dragoon – I still couldn't match even Aymeric for height on a battle jump like this – but I had learned the trick of it somewhat. I cleared the top of the stone, touched down on the back of it just long enough to give myself an extra boost, and rocketed myself into the blue witch.

She went down with an “Oof!” and a tangle of limbs, but even as she fell, she slapped me with her staff, and I yelped. The damned thing had spikes!

We separated, scrambling to our feet, and she bared her teeth at me. She yowled, like some kind of demented hunting cat, and her expression was full of joy.

Then she flung her arm up toward the sky, making a fist, and screamed a word I couldn't understand. With a gesture as if she would tear the sun from the sky and fling it at me, her arm came down.

Flames exploded around me and I was knocked off my feet.

The second I hit the grass, another one of the stone slabs appeared, already falling. I rolled to the side and narrowly avoided being crushed.

“You shall not claim this victory, outsider!” the sorceress shrieked. “I am Sadu of the Undying, Sadu of the Dotharl, and this day I shall take the Steppe for mine!”

_Oh shit, she's one of the ones Gosetsu was scouting! Fuck, I should have paid attention_ – 

But that mattered less than the fact that she was all the way on the other side of the circle from me, and her hand was lifting, to cast another devastating meteor in my face.

A yellow-clad form tackled her at the knees, taking her down.

Magnai did not have hold of her for long. Sadu writhed like a snake, and then Magnai was recoiling, gasping for air as something black and oily oozed over his mouth and nose. Flames blossomed, and he roared in pain as the oily stuff ignited. He threw himself to the ground, rolling, desperately trying to put out the fire.

Sadu grinned, a bloodthirsty show of teeth. Then she stabbed her staff into the earth, and raised both of her hands. The sound that came from her throat made every hair on my body want to stand on end. The air crackled with power. Black lightning seemed to crawl over her outstretched fingers. Her eyes glowed red, as she glared at me, focusing her spell.

Hien shouted – Cirina cried out in panic – I noticed that most of our Mol warriors were down on the ground, and the Oronir were slowly tightening their focus, closing in on the ovoo.

Magnai lay still on the grass, but any of his people could still claim the ovoo for the Oronir.

Sadu's hands began to lower. I felt as if a mountain was about to drop on top of us.

I heard Cirina scream in pain, heard Hien shout her name.

There was no room for fear in me. There was only rage, rage like I hadn't needed to draw on for a long, long time. _I am not going to let Magnai take this from me. I am not going to let some finger wiggling bitch take this from me either!_

I ran at Sadu as if to shoulder tackle her. Right on cue, another of the summoned stone slabs appeared. This time I smashed right through it with my axe, chipping the blade and not caring. Then I was on top of her.

I struck at her arms first, trying to spoil her spell. Blow after blow, I pummeled her with my axe, screaming with every hit, pounding her down to the ground until she crumpled, unconscious.

As she finally stopped moving, I lifted my axe over my head and let out a howl.

The ovoo's light shimmered and went out.

We had won.

Of course it wasn't that easy.

I could not believe my eyes – but I didn't waste more than a moment on surprise.

Grynewaht shouted as I charged him. The battlefield, already confusing, erupted into new chaos all around us.

Oronir and Dotharl fought side by side, decimating the Imperial troops. Hien and Cirina were surrounded, but they were slaughtering every man that came in range. Cirina's delicate face was bruised and spattered with blood, but she was grinning wildly, her voice ringing out over the screams and the roar of ceruleum engines.

Grynewaht back-pedaled, and one of the reapers interposed itself. I snarled. _Still hides behind his men like a fuckin' pansy_.

With one strike I gutted the machine, and as I swept the axe back along its initial arc, I took off the head of the operator.

The other Imperials backed away, and I heard them cursing.

A second machine threw sparks and died as Joy hurled herself at it, screaming in rage.

The rest of the Mol who had been behind us charged in, shouting, weapons rising and falling. Imperials fell to the ground, shrieking in pain.

One machine left. Grynewaht cowered behind its legs, and I sneered at him.

Flames engulfed the reaper, and the operator leaped free with a scream of terror. The minute he hit the ground, a black axe crushed his skull.

Magnai and Sadu glared at each other, then at me. Sadu spat blood. “You are Khagan,” she snapped. “Finish the interloper! We shall deal with his vermin!”

I didn't need to be told twice.

_I wonder if they can hear the shouting in Namai_.

Grynewaht had taken to his heels like the little bitch he was. The Mol had claimed the ovoo, and still cheered all around me.

And I... I was Khagan, leader of all the tribes of the Azim Steppe.

The title hung on my shoulders, an invisible weight; strange, uncomfortable – unnerving. I had known, sort of, that this would fall to me. But I had never wanted it, even in that last red-tinged rush as I had battered Sadu to the ground. The goal, in my heart, had simply been to _win_. The result... _Do I lead these people for real, now? Gods, what an awful thought._

I was filthy, injured, and ready to sleep for a week. _Ugh, maybe after I get some rest I'll be able to tackle this whole business. I'm too damned exhausted right now._

The other tribes had withdrawn from the field; the Mol were tending their wounded, but the groans of pain were quite drowned out by the victory yells. The younger warriors especially seemed unable to stop shouting. I watched them, weary but smiling. Lyse came up to me. Her hair was streaked with blood and her left eye was swelling up, but she was grinning. I hugged her, careful of my own injuries.

Hien joined us, with Gosetsu on his heels. He rubbed his chin as he looked out over the grassland in the direction that Grynewaht had taken when he fled.

“Your imperial friend has truly impeccable timing,” he mused, but his eyes gleamed with humor. “Had he come even a few moments earlier, he might actually have stood a chance.”

I laughed. “I highly doubt that. He's an idiot.”

“In any event,” Hien grinned, “that is _two_ battles won in a single day. Which, by my reckoning, gives us twice the cause to celebrate!” Gosetsu nodded agreement, with a quiet laugh rumbling in his chest.

Hien turned to me, his grin fading, and set his hands on my shoulders. “But first, I pray you grant me a moment to express my gratitude. Thanks to you, we are one step closer to freeing my homeland from the tyranny of the Empire. I am in your debt.”

He and Gosetsu both bowed low, and I cleared my throat.

“Oh – oh, come on, you two. It's...we did this together. It wasn't all me.”

Hien straightened, and there was a glint in his eye that made me think he planned to argue with me about that later. But for the moment, he let it go, and his grin returned.

“Of course...if all goes to plan, this is like to be but the first of many such debts. Yet I promise to endure my insolvency with a smile, out of gratitude to the kami for seeing fit to send you hither.”

I shook my head, knowing I was blushing, and let Lyse laugh at me.

“Let's get back,” I said, instead of embarrassing myself further. “We should give Temulun Khatun the good news.”

We walked into the village, and the first face I saw was that of Dorbei. The gentle fellow sat on a hay bale, leg stretched out before him, grimacing in pain.

“Dorbei, are you...” I stopped myself, not wanting to offend him. But he smiled up at me, as understanding and calm as always.

“I took a wound. But it will heal with time and care. The children are gathering herbs for a poultice.” His eyes shut. “Had the Naadam lasted much longer, I may not have survived. Thank you.”

“Don't thank me,” I shook my head. “This victory belongs to all of us – to me, to you, to all the Mol. There's no way I could have done this alone.”

Cirina came up, cheeks still glistening from having washed up. She flung her arms around me for a moment, and I accepted the hug without wincing, even when she squeezed one of my bruised spots.

“We won...we actually won!” Then she let me go, and her moment of exuberance passed. Her eyes were merry as she tilted her head up to look at me. “I mean, you did. If it were not for you...”

I shook my head again, but before I could repeat my argument, three of the youngsters swarmed me, eyes flashing with excitement, babbling at high speed.

“I saw you fight, Berylla! You were incredible!”

“Where did you learn such feats? Is everyone in the West as strong as you? Can you teach me!?”

“Glory to the khagan and her comrades! Forever and forever! A hundred years! The khagan!”

I was glad when one of the other adventurers showed up and tugged them away. Not that I minded their joy, but... I noticed, then, one of the youngest warriors, sitting slumped on the ground. I went over, just to check on her.

She looked up at me. Her face bored a very bad bruise, but she seemed otherwise fine. Her voice was quiet, but happy, as she spoke. “My arms, my legs, my everything is tired and sore. I feel as though I could sleep for a day.” Her smile was very slight, no doubt because of the bruising. “But we won.”

“That we did,” I nodded, and patted her shoulder. “That we did.”

Hien waved me over as I straightened. “Let us go and greet Temulun Khatun.”

“Right.”

Lyse and Gosetsu trailed behind us as we went into the big yurt; Cirina opened the doors for us and led us inside, just as she had days ago when we first arrived. Only days? It felt like weeks.

Hien stopped in front of the khatun and bowed, then spread his arms wide, grinning. “Temulun Khatun! We are returned, and victorious!”

Temulun smiled, but her voice was as calm as ever. “Welcome, warriors of the Steppe. It is an honor to receive you once more.” She made an elegant gesture of thanks. “We observed the battle from a distance, and marked the moment of your triumph. In that instant, I wept tears of joy.” Her eyes were warm on mine. “Not only did you bring us victory in the Naadam, but you ensured that every one of my kinsmen returned with their lives.”

I heard Lyse breathe a sigh of relief behind me, and I nodded. _For once, thankfully, we didn't leave sorrow in our wake among those we wanted to help._

Cirina bowed to us. “Some were more gravely wounded than others, but none were lost to us. We could not have asked for anything more.”

Lyse shuffled her feet. “You really shouldn't... I mean, I'm glad you're all right, but we had our own reasons for fighting, and it feels wrong to be thanked for that.”

Cirina just smiled sweetly, and didn't answer.

The others stepped back outside, but I lingered for a moment.

“Temulun...” I began, but the older woman shook her head.

“No, no more modesty,” she chided me, gently. “For the Mol to triumph in the Naadam with the aid of outsiders... The Steppe will not soon forget this day. You have wrought a great change in us, traveler.”

“I feel like you all have changed me, too.” I ducked my head. “I just...I never came here for fame, or to become some kind of warlord. I know we had a lot of reasons for helping the Mol, but just me personally, I...” I faltered. How could I explain what I could barely understand? How could I tell her that seeing how the Mol took what came at them and just _handled_ it, without wailing or waiting or weeping – that was what had helped me get the courage to call Aymeric finally. But I hadn't told Temulun about my relationship troubles...surely I would just sound like a mad woman.

But then the _udgan_ smiled, a smile just as sweet as her granddaughter's could be, and nodded once. “I understand.”

I met her eyes, and believed her. “Thank you.” My voice was hoarse. I turned around to step outside, before I made more of a fool of myself.

Cirina followed me, standing just in the door. Her voice was quiet as she looked up at me, with one hand on my arm. “If it is not too much of an imposition, would you be willing to go and speak with some of the wounded? A simple gesture for those with whom you shared the battlefield.”

“Oh,” I blinked, and nodded quickly. “Yeah, sure. I don't mind at all.”

It wasn't hard to find where the wounded were being set up – they were all sitting together, some of them propped up against hay bales or crates. I saw that two of them had broken legs, among the assorted other injuries – but they all grinned widely the moment they saw me approaching.

One of the youngsters, his arm in a sling, waved his uninjured hand at me. “Some part of me still struggles to believe it, but we won! We defeated the Oronir and the Dotharl and won!” He shook his head, his wild hair getting into his face. “When they appeared before us I was filled with such fear as I had never known. But then I saw you charge with Cirina and the others, and before I knew it, I was running and shouting.”

I grinned, knowing well the way _that_ felt – the rush of battle frenzy, the adrenaline, the feeling for just a moment that nothing could take you down. His eyes gleamed as he smiled back.

“I will carry the memory of that moment with me always. As well as the moment when you became one with the ovoo and were declared khagan!”

Then nothing would do but for me to stand and pose for them – I blushed the entire time, feeling very silly, but it made them all _so_ damn happy, it was worth my embarrassment.

I made my way back towards the village gates, face still warm from the way they'd all cheered for me. I could smell food – judging by the profusion of pots over every fire in the village, we were probably having stew out of the left over mammoth meat.

Cirina opened the door to the khatun's yurt, and saw me. “Ah, Berylla! I am told you gave the young warriors a fine show!”

I ran my hand through my hair and laughed self-consciously. “I guess so, yeah.”

She smiled. “Grandmother and I have been discussing how we might best express our gratitude to you. Mere words did not seem sufficient.” She beckoned me inside, and once the door was shut, she bent and picked something up that had been leaning against the wall.

It was a lovely wooden instrument – exactly like the ones I had seen around the fire so many nights, as the Mol sang their tales and legends and history to each other.

“This is a _morin khuur_ ─a traditional instrument of our people. The feats of our greatest heroes, like Bardam and Chakha, are preserved in song. Yours too will live on for years to come.”

I stared at her, and my hands shook as I took the gift from her. I had no words.

 _I'm not – they shouldn't be adding me to their legends, I'm just a...traveler, passing through. I don't deserve to be set beside their heroes_.

But I saw the look in her eye, and knew better than to try arguing.

She smiled once more. “Perhaps one day you might learn how to play it! But, even if not, you may look on the _morin khuur_ and remember this time, this place. As we will when we hearken to the music.”

“I,” and I had to swallow hard before I could try again, “I am...very honored.”

“Good!” She hugged me briefly, and then her voice was full of humor. “And I am hungry. Let us go and eat, yes?”


	39. Hien's Homecoming

The next morning, with Dorbei injured and even Cirina's energy still lessened, I finally got to help make some of the food. I preened under the compliments from the children and Hien. Lyse grinned at me, but she let me have my moment without teasing me.

With a dozen extra mouths to feed – and as many pairs of hands to help afterwards – breakfast was over and done with just as the mist was burning off in the early morning sunlight. I watched as all the “extra” adventurers discussed with each other, clearly planning to stay a bit longer here on the Steppe – some wanted to help out the Mol, others wanted to explore, but all of them seemed in no rush to get back to Doma.

Pale shrugged as I gave him a questioning look. The tall Elezen had shown up just after breakfast; apparently he and Felina had stayed with the Dotharl last night. I was just glad I had _finally_ recalled his name. “We all know it will take time to prepare for the battle,” he told me. “There is little we can contribute, there in Namai, and having so many of us wandering about will only tip our hand to the Imperials.”

I remembered then that for a while, Pale had fought beside the heretics out in Coerthas.

“You'd know a bit about the best ways to keep a sizable force hidden, wouldn't you?”

“Oh, aye,” he tossed his head, getting his white hair out of his eyes, “but I related all the tricks I know to Master Alphinaud, long ago.”

I nodded. “Well, I can't say a thing about all of you folks staying here and helping others. It can only make our standing with the tribes that much better.” I slanted a sly grin at him. “Assuming you can behave.”

He barked a laugh. “I believe they will all keep themselves out of trouble.” His eyes warmed. “And I shall endeavor to keep Felina out of trouble as well.”

“Good enough for me.” I patted his shoulder. Hien waved to me, and I nodded to the prince. I gave Pale one last smile. “See you soon.”

“Take care,” he answered, and headed off to join one of the smaller knots of adventurers.

For a moment I missed Alphinaud yet again, but I reminded myself that we would be back in Namai by tonight. Then, a thought occurred to me, and I slid my pack off my shoulder.

I dug around, and found the hair comb he had given me – it seemed so long ago, now. I ran my fingers across the carved feather. I'd only worn the comb a handful of times in all that time. Carefully, I worked it into my hair; somehow, it soothed me.

I shouldered my pack again, and headed for the khatun's yurt.

Temulun smiled gently at us as we presented ourselves; but Hien wasted no time on small talk. Gosetsu and Lyse stood ranged beside us, and Cirina stood in her usual spot at her grandmother's left hand.

“At the risk of sounding impatient, we have certain pressing obligations.” Hien bowed deeply to the khatun. “It is time that we saw to them.”

The khatun nodded. Her eyes were dark, but her smile did not waver. “To whom much is given, much is expected,” she replied.

Cirina bowed, just as deeply as Hien had done. “We owe you so very much,” she began, but Gosetsu shook his head, and she paused.

“Nay, do not think yourselves so indebted to us. Was it not you who gave us your blessing to participate in the Naadam─and you who saved my lord Hien from certain death?” He smiled at the petite Xaela. “Doma is in your debt, and will ever be a friend to the Mol.”

Cirina gave him her warmest, sunniest smile. “And we to you, Gosetsu!”

Then, she cocked her head. “A thought occurs to me. If you wish to return to Yanxia with all haste, the passage to the south of the Dusk Throne would offer the most direct route.”

Hien raised his eyebrows. “I have seen the tunnel mouth there, in my explorations, but I did not know it led anywhere in particular.”

Cirina gave a little shrug. “The Dotharl sealed it with their magicks during the Doman rebellion, when more men in iron came from afar.”

“If ever there were a time to open the pass, it is now. We should journey to Dotharl Khaa.” Hien set his hands on his hips for a moment. “But before that, might we visit the Dawn Throne? I wish to speak with our most radiant brother.”

Lyse made a face. “Are you sure that's a good idea? I know he agreed to fight for Doma, but I doubt he'll be very happy to see us so soon after we beat him.”

Cirina shook her head. “Nhaama made us for war, Lyse. Ever since we came into this world, we have fought.” Her tone was gentle, but chiding. “In the Naadam, blood was shed, and lives were lost. Brown earth was stained crimson, and Xaela wept. But crimson is the dusk and the dawn. Death and rebirth. An ending to mark a new beginning.” She lifted one hand, and recited,

“ _We who are born are destined to die.  
As the seasons turn, we are born again.”_

She lowered her hand again, and nodded once. “Thus spoke the first.” Then, her sunny smile was back. “So you see, we harbor no hatreds. The Naadam is the Naadam, and what comes after is what comes after!”

Lyse eyed her. “If you say so... The Dawn Throne first, then?”

Cirina clapped her hands together once. “Yes. And I shall accompany you!”

Once more, everyone else made their way out – and Temulun held up her hand to me, wordlessly asking me to stay.

She gazed up at me, and I saw her eyes go to the comb in my hair. Then, she smiled. “Look always to the light of the stars to guide you in the dark. For none need walk alone.”

Her words warmed me. I remembered too how she had said something similar before, when we had first arrived here. “Not alone,” I murmured. “Thank you. I'll do my best to keep that wisdom in mind.” I bowed to her. “I hope that I can come back soon, just to visit as a friend of the Mol.”

“I will pray for that day,” Temulun answered.

As Hien and Gosetsu summoned up their birds, I stepped aside. Lyse glanced at me, and I told her quietly, “I'm going to give Alphinaud the word that we're soon going to be on our way. Go on, and I'll catch up.”

“All right, but don't flirt too long.” She laughed at my indignant splutter.

Early as it was, Alphinaud answered quickly.

“I had hoped to hear from you yesterday. All went to plan, I take it?”

“We won, but I was so tired, I didn't think to call.” I smiled, and let my tone turn teasing. “Did you want me to wake you up before dawn?”

“For you, I would tolerate it.”

I felt my cheeks burning. I cleared my throat after a moment, and managed, “Um, well. We're going to talk to a couple more people. There's another way into Doma from the Steppe, but one of the tribes blocked it off. So we're getting them to open that. I think we'll be back around midday, maybe a little after.”

“Understood. I look forward to meeting this Lord Hien. Yugiri has had much to say about him.”

“I bet she has. He's a nice man. Good at leading too, not that I'm much of a judge of that.”

He just chuckled.

I swallowed. “I know we'll be really busy once we do get back but if we can make a little time – I need to t-talk to you.”

“Is something the matter?”

“Yeah. It can wait until we can be private, but I need...” I cleared my throat again. “They're already on the move. I have to go.”

I clicked the link-pearl off, and took a couple of deep breaths. Then, I called up my bird.

When he landed, I petted the mottled feathers for a moment, taking the opportunity to soothe and calm myself a little bit more. The bird tilted his head upside down, in one of the silliest poses I had ever seen. I couldn't help but laugh.

“I should give you a name,” I told the creature. He straightened up, and made a quiet purring noise down in his chest. “How about Gale?”

The bird bobbed his head, and then leaned forward and nibbled my hair with his beak. Joy and Midnight both did the same thing, a preening behavior – the familiarity of the gesture filled me with a gentle comfort. I leaned into Gale's chest feathers a little.

Sure, I was heading off into danger yet again. This was likely to be a fight every bit as bloody and bitter as what had happened at the Reach, though our odds were far better this time. I might get hurt, my friends might get hurt; hells, people were _going_ to die, no matter how well our plans went. Worrying about my heartache seemed petty and stupid in the face of that. Taking comfort from a bird's affection maybe wasn't the most logical thing.

_Well, I've never been much of one for logic anyway. Fuck it. I'll take what I can get_.

Alphinaud heard the link-pearl click off, and bit his lip.

Berylla was coming back at last. Her mission had been wildly successful, and she was bringing Lord Hien with her. All good things. So why had she sounded so tense?

She wanted to talk to him in private.

For a moment, ice threaded down his back. Had her feelings for him changed?

He told himself sternly to stop borrowing trouble, and went to find some useful task to occupy his mind.

But even as he double checked lists of needed supplies and debated with Alisaie and Yugiri whether to increase their patrols of the area – he could not shake the worry. Berylla was honest to a fault. He could understand not wishing to speak of private things over a link-pearl. But oh, how he wished she had given him _some_ idea of what was wrong!

I barely paid attention as we met with Magnai and then headed to the Dotharl camp. There was nothing much for me to say; I was really only there to lend my “authority” as the khagan. I wasn't comfortable with having a title, much less the implied power it carried. Honestly, I was just as glad to let Hien and Cirina do all the talking.

My mind was still preoccupied with Aymeric, and how I was going to manage to talk sensibly to Alphinaud about the whole mess. Even contemplating answering Alphinaud's questions was making me shake. _I'm sick and tired of feeling like this. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, but I've had enough. If talking it out doesn't work_...

I made myself stop worrying about it as we all gathered in front of the wide tunnel mouth. Glowing runes and lines crossed the air in front of it – but even as we watched, the glow dissipated, as if it were simply glittering dust blown away on a gust of wind.

Cirina nodded. “Sadu Khatun has done her part. This passage will deliver you to Doma.” She turned to face us. Her pretty face was somber. “It is here we must part ways, until the day you call us to battle.”

Lyse smiled. “It won't be long, I know, but...take care of yourself, Cirina. And tell your grandmother and the others again how much we appreciate everything they did for us.”

The petite Xaela smiled. “I will.” Then she let out a little gasp. “Oh, I nearly forgot! I have another gift for you.”

She dug in her pouch and pulled out a tightly folded piece of cloth. She handed it to Lyse, who took it and let it unfold. I smiled when I saw what it was, but Lyse stared, a bit confused for a moment.

“Wait, is this a banner of the Mol tribe?”

Cirina blushed. “It is not the most practical of gifts, but we nevertheless wished to present it to you.” Her pale-green eyes stayed on Lyse, carefully not looking toward Hien at all. “I do not fully understand what has befallen Doma, or your homeland, Lyse. But I do understand that you and yours have suffered terribly.” She reached out, and touched Lyse on the shoulder. “The Mol place their faith in the gods, and in turn they shepherd us. They watch over and keep us. We pray they show you the same favor. As it was in the Naadam, blood will be shed, your lands engulfed in a storm of fire and steel. Yet as it did here, it shall mark a new beginning there.”

We were all quiet for a moment. She was right of course. The storm was coming. We would be part of that storm, no matter what, now. _We're committed to this cause, this fight. If we back out, if we fail, it won't be just us paying for it. We risk everyone, this time._

The weight of it made me ache. _You'd think I would be used to carrying the worries of people. But I've never held so_ _ **many**_ _lives in my hands. I don't know how the Admiral and the Sultana and the Elder Seer can handle this, all day every day. I don't know how Aymeric holds up under this strain. Twelve, spare me from ever having to lead like they do. I don't want that. Ever._

Cirina turned to me, and her hands settled on my upper arms, light as feathers. “May you ever walk in crimson. For in crimson there is life. There is liberation.”

Hien smiled at her. “Thank you for your prayers, Cirina. We shall remember them.”

Cirina bowed her head, hiding her face from him. I could see, though, the way her mouth turned down, the way she blinked rapidly a few times. I glanced over at Hien, only to see that he was also turning away a little. His jaw was tense.

But Cirina didn't let the moment drag out. She bowed, and then waved to us all. “Until we meet again!”

Before anyone could say another word, she turned and ran away, that deceptively relaxed looking long-distance lope that all the Steppe people seemed to use. In a minute, she was out of sight.

“It is time to go,” Hien said, quietly.

The tunnel was well lit and even smoother than the first one, but it was very obvious that it hadn't been used for a good long while. Snakes and lizards slithered away from us, and I could smell the small creatures I couldn't see – mice, rats, who knew what all might've holed up in here, but whatever they were, their nests stank. The pockets of eye-watering stench were bad enough to make all of us hurry our animals, and so the trip was quicker than it had been when traveling the southern tunnel.

We came out into the sun, and all four of us breathed deeply of the cleaner air.

I glanced around, and blinked. This area was completely different from the valley around Namai. There were pillars of rock, but most of them seemed to be striped with veins of pale crystal. To the right of the tunnel mouth, there seemed to be a whole quarry full of the same mineral, sparkling in the sun with a million rainbows.

“Hm, I have not used this road before.” Gosetsu looked around for a moment, then made a small, pleased noise. “Ah. I recognize where we are, however. I shall go ahead, and let the sentries know of Lord Hien's return.” He glanced at Hien, and the prince nodded once.

We took our time moving down the road.

I looked over at Hien. “So how does it feel to be home?”

“Distinctly odd.” He shook his head. “I had grown very fond of the Steppe. It shall always hold a place in my heart. But this...this is the land of my father and his father. This is the place that flows in my blood. And yet...it all looks so strange to me. Like a place I have heard of all my life, and yet have never seen.”

Lyse nodded, and I remembered how she'd felt much the same about Ala Mhigo.

Hien let out a huff of breath. His brows knit together. “I grew up in this valley, but all I can remember is Doma Castle. There...there should be more memories than this.”

“Don't put too much meaning into it,” I suggested. “I think most of your people will be happier to just make new memories, in freedom.”

“Memories made in freedom.” Hien smiled. “A very nice thought.”

We were quiet for a while, until at last we came to a place where a narrow cleft in the rocks appeared. To the casual eye it looked barely big enough to hide a kid Isse's age.

_Nice to have a completely natural formation that just happens to be a perfect hidden entrance_.

Stepping through, the cleft became a narrow passage, but it only remained narrow for a dozen paces. Then the rock seemed to fall away, and the vaulted main cavern came into view.

Hien paused, looking around. “Well. Here we are.” He eyed the doorway that led into the more “civilized” part of the network of caves. He spoke in a low voice, almost as if to himself. “I wonder if they all are gathered inside, waiting...perhaps expecting a speech or some such...”

Then, he saw me looking at him, and cleared his throat. “Well! No matter! I shall have to do what I shall have to do. Come!”

I followed him, hiding my smile.  _After all, I'd far rather fight another Nadaam than have to make a speech. I sympathize with the guy._


	40. Alphinaud's Plan

The minute people started to notice Hien, chaos erupted.

It was _quiet_ chaos – gasps, whispers, muttering – again and again I heard “Lord Hien is returned! Quick, tell the others!” and then the scuff of feet running off. But the excitement that swelled didn't need shouting to make itself known.

Hien strode on calmly, as if he didn't notice the growing crowd following the three of us.

We entered the big cavern that held the aetheryte – which was up and functioning, no longer lying in pieces on the ground. Gosetsu stood in front of the crystal, arms crossed, patiently waiting. On his left side, Yugiri waited as well. The way she held herself told me she was struggling to keep calm. To the samurai's right, Alisaie and Alphinaud stood together.

Alphinaud looked to me first, before he even glanced at Hien. I saw his eyes go immediately to the feather and comb in my hair, and smiled when the tips of his ears turned a bit pink. He flashed me an answering smile, then turned his attention to Hien as the prince began to speak.

“Brothers and sisters, pray forgive me my absence. It has been far too long.”

Yugiri dropped to one knee, head bowed, but there was no disguising the pure joy in her voice. “Lord Hien! Gosetsu told us of your trials and tribulations on the Steppe. Would that I had been present to witness your victory, my lord.”

Standing just behind him as I was, I couldn't see Hien's face, but I could hear the smile in his voice. “Our victory, Yugiri, owed as much to each of my stalwart comrades as it did to me.” Then he sounded a little more stern. “Now, rise – I will not suffer this excess of formality any longer.”

Yugiri stood up as commanded; I caught her giving Gosetsu a glance, and saw how he nodded to her, very slightly.

Hien, meanwhile, turned his head just a bit. “Alphinaud and Alisaie Leveilleur, I presume?”

Both of them gave respectful nods. Once more I heard the smile in Hien's voice.

“I am told we owe you much. It is a pleasure to meet you both.”

Alphinaud bowed, and his tone was quite formal. I wondered if I was imagining the hint of wariness in his voice. “The pleasure is ours, Lord Hien. Though we were born and raised a world apart, our values are one and the same: freedom, justice, liberty. Each of which,” and now his voice rang with quiet confidence, “Doma shall soon enjoy once more.”

Alisaie's voice held a hint of humor as she gave her brother a sideways look. “Hopefully.” She turned her eyes to Hien then. “I understand you have brought an army?”

Hien nodded once. “Indeed. The Xaela tribes of the Azim Steppe have pledged their military might to the cause.”

“Good.” She smiled, and her voice took on a hint of smugness. “We, meanwhile, have secured the support of the Confederacy, and a not insignificant number of your countrymen. The Blue Kojin, too, have expressed a willingness to join the fight.” Her lips quirked, and I saw a flash of pride in her eyes. I knew, then, that she had been the one to persuade the Kojin; I wondered for an instant when she'd gotten so comfortable with political nonsense. “Provided, of course, that you agree to certain trade agreements following the liberation of Doma.”

Yugiri added quietly, “The shinobi will render what aid they can. However, Sui-no-Sato refused to answer our call.” She related that last fact with sorrow in her eyes. I remembered the pain in her mother's face as her parents had begged me to tell them of their long lost daughter. Whether Yugiri had sent a messenger, or had tried to go to her old home in person... _That must have hurt a lot. To still be shunned after all this time. Ouch._

Hien nodded again. “No matter. What forces we have far exceed my original expectations. You have my thanks.”

Alphinaud spoke directly to me. “You should know that Zenos departed Doma not long after you left to find Lord Hien. We do not know the reason why, but it would seem he was eager to return to Gyr Abania.” His frown echoed my own.

“What?” Lyse's voice was sharp. “Have you heard anything from the Resistance? There hasn't been another attack, has there?!”

Alphinaud lifted his hand, palm out towards her, a calming gesture. “Tataru assures me they are quite well. If anything, this turn of events would seem to be to our advantage.”

Alisaie nodded, her smile fading. “There the good news ends. Yotsuyu retains her position as acting viceroy, and we have reports that the garrison at Doma Castle is preparing for a massive operation.” She took a long breath, and her eyes were somber. “We suspect that the Empire's attempt to eliminate you on the Steppe may have been a prelude to a larger effort to purge the remaining pockets of resistance within Doma.”

_Exactly what Isse feared so very badly. We're for it now. We can't back out, can't back down._ I wanted to shiver. _But the Imperials can't anticipate that we're bringing in all those Xaela; that nitwit Grynewaht had no fucking idea what he was seeing, probably never even heard of the Nadaam_.

Gosetsu spoke now. “The hour of reckoning is upon us,” he rumbled.

A heavy silence fell across the whole room. Even the gathered soldiers seemed to hold their breaths.

“Then victory will soon be ours.”

My words surprised even me, but I wasn't faking the certainty in my voice. _We have no other choice. If we want to live, we must succeed, here and now. There will be no going home if we lose this time_. I let my eyes travel all around the room, hoping that every one of them felt the confidence I was trying to project. I want them all to believe in this. Not in me. Not even in Hien. _Twelve, let them believe in_ _ **themselves**_ _. Nothing less will be good enough._

Hien laughed, suddenly, a wild laugh that rang out against the stones and brought answering smiles to every face, even mine.

“The khagan has spoken!” He clapped me on the shoulder, and though his voice was quieter, his smile was still wide. “And I for one am not inclined to argue.” That shit eating grin of his only got wider, when I blushed at his invocation of my new title.

Then he let his hand fall, and looked around the room. His voice was low and intense, and his eyes snapped with ferocious pride.

“In this place, in this moment, I call upon you all! Twenty-five years of oppression, of tyranny, of shame – it ends with us! We will prevail!”

Formality was put aside for a time, as everyone – well most everyone – wanted to come and greet their prince. The whole crowd, chattering at high speed, surrounded Hien in no time flat. I didn't mind, at all, and made way by simply going out into one of the side tunnels.

Alisaie followed me, and Alphinaud was on her heels.

I smiled at them, and for an instant, I hesitated. _Oh, fuck it, they can put up with a little embarrassment._

I pulled both of them into a hug.

It was a bit awkward for a minute, but even Alisaie didn't breathe a word of protest. They hugged me back, and for the next few moments I was able to just forget about everything. “Missed you both,” I murmured. Then, I let them go, and pretended my eyes weren't damp. “I'm glad that neither of you decided to be reckless.” I cleared my throat a little, and added, “I noticed you got the aetheryte fixed. It looks good, all things considered.”

Alisaie chuckled, and Alphinaud smiled. Then, they looked at each other. I had a feeling there was something passing between them that I couldn't understand. But whatever it was, Alisaie smiled at her twin, and then patted my shoulder. “I'm going to go talk with Lyse a little,” she said, and off she went.

Alphinaud's arms were around my waist as soon as she was out of sight.

I let him just hold me for a while. I could feel his hands shaking as he soothed his palms up and down my back, underneath my jacket. He rested his cheek against me, and spoke in a quiet tone. “Gosetsu told us of the Xaela, and of the battles you fought – the Nadaam, and the Imperial attack afterwards. His tale was – most alarming, to be honest.”

“It wasn't easy. But we managed. I couldn't have done it alone, really.”

“And now you are – what was the word? Khagan?”

I twitched. “Technically. I made Cirina take on the job, sort of. I don't...I'm not a leader. Not _that_ kind of a leader, anyway.” I rubbed my cheek against his hair for a moment. The carved feather and wooden beads in my hair clicked softly. “I'm not like you, or Aymeric. I can't tell people what to do.” I snorted. “Most of the time I don't know what to tell _myself_ to do, for fuck's sake.”

He leaned back just a little. “Are you – ” He paused, then tried again. “You said you needed to speak with me.”

I could hear Hien telling everyone to get back to their usual tasks, laughing even as he tried to be stern.

“I don't think we're going to have time, not yet anyway.”

He rested his head against my collarbone. “You are correct. We must discuss our battle plan.”

“I'm very glad to hear that you have one.”

He half smiled at that. “Thank you.”

I gave him one last squeeze and let him go. “Let's get back. Maybe we can sneak a little time, after the strategy meeting?”

“I will make certain we find a way to do so.” He took my hand in his and kissed my fingers.

Then, we headed back out to rejoin the others.

The chamber was quiet, now. I looked around at the group Alphinaud had gathered. _Our commanders, I guess that's what they are_. I still couldn't think of _myself_ as a commander.

Hien, of course, stood at the center of our little arc. I stood at the end of the curve to his left, with Yugiri beside me and Lyse next to Hien; to his right, Gosetsu stood with arms crossed in a patient stance, and Alisaie had one hand on her hip, her eyes on her brother.

Alphinaud stood facing us all, and as I watched him speak, a warm swell of pride washed across me. _He's come so very far, from his days as Commander of the Crystal Braves. He's grown up, he really has._

That thought had me so distracted that I missed the first few words he said. I blinked and dragged my attention back where it belonged.

“Lyse and the Doman Irregulars will conduct a series of raids against Imperial targets throughout the surrounding area, with the aim of drawing the garrison's attention,” Alphinaud was saying as I regained my focus. “Shortly thereafter, our Xaela allies will launch a surprise attack on the castle's airborne defenses. In this way, we will prevent the enemy's airships from rendering support, and cut off one means of escape.” He looked at his sister. “Alisaie and I, together with the shinobi, will exploit the ensuing chaos to infiltrate the Moon Gates and disable the magitek field generators. Once the barrier is down, we will be free to cross the One River and reach Doma Castle.” Alisaie nodded firmly. “It is at this point that we must turn to Confederate and Kojin allies. They will commence to bombard the castle with cannon fire, while sailing west towards the Doman Enclave.”

Lyse cocked her head. “Wait, the enclave? Why would you want them to sail _away_ from the castle?”

Alphinaud opened his hands. “Because the enclave is home to countless civilians. Once pressed, the imperials may well think to take them hostage, and I would fain forestall any such attempt.” His eyes were hard, and I saw Lyse catch his meaning. Alisaie's mouth tightened as well. We all remembered much too well the lives lost at Rhalgr's Reach. _We won't let such a slaughter happen again_.

He turned his eyes to me. “After we have secured the enclave, we may lay siege to Doma Castle directly. The main strength of the Doman Liberation Front, under Lord Hien's command, shall be committed to this endeavor, as will you, and your redoubtable allies.”

I held his gaze as I nodded.

He faced Hien now. “The rest is simple. We scour the castle for the viceroy, we find her, and we subdue her. Without their leader, what remains of the imperials' morale will crumble, and they will surrender or attempt to flee.” He took one long breath. “And Doma will be free.”

Alisaie smiled at her brother, and I saw the same pride in her eyes that warmed me inside. Gosetsu was nodding – old campaigner that he was, he knew a solid plan when he heard one. Lyse and Yugiri looked at each other, and nodded, obviously confident in what they'd just heard. I almost wished Aymeric could have heard all that Alphinaud had just said.

But Hien was silent, standing with arms crossed and his eyes shut, obviously thinking hard. He stayed quiet for so long that Alphinaud looked just a little uncertain.

“Your thoughts, Lord Hien?” he asked. “If any points were unclear or gave you cause for concern, I should be glad to go over them with you.”

Hien remained quiet for a moment more, then opened his eyes. He met Alphinaud's gaze, and gave the scholar a small smile. “Nay. It's a fine plan. You have a talent for this, that much is plain.” He raised his voice a little. “We shall carry out Alphinaud's plan to the letter,” he told us all. “Now, there are preparations to be made. Carry on!”

There was nothing more to say. We scattered.

I listened for a time, as everyone discussed their next moves. Lyse had heard rumors of a blacksmith who had once helped supply Lord Kaien's men, and who might be persuaded to take up his hammer once more. Alisaie had a mind to patrol the area, with an eye to ferreting out any imperials attempting to insinuate themselves into the villages – a smart idea, given that most of the castle garrison were Doman conscripts. They would be able to blend in with ease; and then the imperials would have ears within our forces.

Half the adventurers who'd been out on the Steppe were back, now, and they once more split themselves up – some going along to give Lyse a hand, a few volunteering to join Yugiri's shinobi on scouting forays. Felina and Pale had shown up as well, and the two of them attached themselves to Alisaie without a word, following her out of the cavern towards the newly opened tunnels that Hien had used to enter.

Alphinaud came up beside me. “There is much to be done,” he said, in a tone meant to carry. “I have a task I would like you to undertake, Berylla. If you would be so kind as to attend while I explain?”

“All right.” I nodded, and then followed him.

“We will not be able to steal more than an hour or two,” he warned me, even as he gathered up a pair of rolled up blankets. “And for privacy, I am not certain where to go...”

“I think I know of a place,” I answered. “Yugiri was telling me about it. Come on.”

We took ourselves out in the direction of Namai, as if we were simply heading towards the bathing pool. No one took notice of us, and the moment we were out of direct sight of the path, I summoned up Midnight. She trilled softly and nibbled Alphinaud's hair, and when both of us were mounted, she whistled and took off.

I guided her in a relatively steep spiral, up and up, and then to the west and north a bit. Just as Yugiri had described, a little vale lay hidden at the top of the cliffs – completely impossible for normal folk to reach. Trees dotted the area, but the valley was mostly water – a spring, Yugiri had told me, but it looked like a lake in miniature. I brought Midnight in to land on a little island in the middle of the shallow lake, and slid down from her saddle.

For a moment, Alphinaud and I just looked at the place, taking in the beauty of it, listening to the music of water slipping over stone.

“Yugiri says that every field in Namai's valley is watered by this spring,” I told Alphinaud. “It's very pretty, isn't it?”

“Yes,” he replied. “Very beautiful.” But when I glanced over at him, he wasn't looking at the water anymore. His eyes were on me.

I felt my cheeks getting hot, and turned to take one of the blankets from where I had tied it onto Midnight's saddle. He didn't say anything, just took the other blanket. Midnight wandered off a few yards and lay down, seeming pleased to bask in the sun.

Together we spread the blankets out, making a kind of pallet on the ground, up against a convenient boulder. Alphinaud sat down, and held his hands out to me, beckoning.

I came over, and sat down. I set my hands in his, and tried to suppress my nerves.

“I do believe we are now as private as it is possible for us to be.” Alphinaud's eyes searched mine. “What is it that you wish to talk about?”


	41. Face the Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Be aware that there's some heavier snuggling than before in this chapter. For those who may be avoiding any of the Alphinaud smut, this is a chapter to avoid!

Alphinaud rubbed his thumbs across the backs of Berylla's hands, and watched the expressions flitting across her face. He had seen her wounded, angry, sarcastic, confused, pleased... But he had _never_ seen her look so nervous. At last she seemed to brace herself, and spoke.

“We um...discussed sharing, before.” She kept her eyes on their joined hands. Her thumbs brushed across his knuckles, as if unconsciously echoing his movements. “I – some stuff happened. I didn't...gods dammit.”

She closed her eyes, and her hands tightened on his. “I was – um – intimate with someone, while I was out there.” Her cheeks were red, now. Alphinaud was rather fascinated by how embarrassed she was to speak of these things. She could stand toe to toe with a primal, but speaking of love made her stammer like a new student attempting to introduce themselves.

He realized she hadn't continued, and murmured, “I see.” The simple words made her flinch, just a tiny bit.

“It just – _happened_ ,” she said, her brows knitting. “It didn't mean anything, my f-feelings weren't involved at all...” She opened her eyes, and tried to look at him through her lashes. “Sh-should I – um, do you want me to tell you more than that?”

He met her gaze head-on and didn't let her look away from him. “No.” Slowly, deliberately, he lifted their hands, and kissed her fingertips. “I have only one question.”

“What's that?”

“Have you changed your mind about...being with me?”

“ _Gods_ , no!” Her hands clutched his and her eyes went wide. “No. I kept thinking about you – it made me realize how much I want to...to...kiss you again and...”

The way she blushed then made his own cheeks warm.

“I care about you, Alphinaud. A lot.” Her voice was low, her hands shook, and the way her eyes burned into his made his spirit want to shout with happiness. “I figured out, finally, that I only have serious feelings like this for two people. And you're one of them.”

It took him a moment to compose himself so that his voice did not shake. “The other being Aymeric?”

She nodded, and now her gaze was wary.

He reached up, and cupped her cheek. She brought her hand up to set it over his, and pressed into his touch. Her eyes closed for a moment as her lips brushed his wrist.

For an instant he felt his blood had become pure levin.

I kept my attention focused on how warm his skin was against mine. Alphinaud's hands were shaking. Well, so were mine. But I needed to calm myself. I had more to say...and the hardest part was yet to come.

_It won't get any easier just sitting here, Berylla. Come on. Spit it out._

“About Aymeric... I – I called him, while we were out in the Steppe.” My mouth was dry, my stomach queasy. “Gods, on second thought, maybe I _shouldn't_ get you involved in my mess.”

But Alphinaud wasn't going to let me get away with that. He let go of my other hand, and then he was cupping my face in his hands, so I couldn't evade him.

“What happened with Aymeric, Berylla? You've avoided talking about it, but if it is affecting our relationship...I _need_ to know.”

I swallowed hard, fighting to keep control of myself. His hands drifted down from my face, and stroked across my shoulders.

I managed to speak at last. “He...right before we left for Doma, he and I had a – a disagreement. Sort of.” I steeled myself. “He didn't want me to go. He asked me to m-marry him. I s-said n-no.” My eyes burned, and I forced down the sob stuck in my throat.

“I see.” He ran his fingers through my hair, brushing against the hair comb. “Why did you turn him down, Berylla?”

“I c-c-can't.” I couldn't breathe. “I'm not – I can't – ”

Alphinaud's arms tightened on my shoulders as he pulled me into a hug. I was shaking violently, just as I had while we were still at sea. _I don't want to break down like this, dammit!_

“Sh, sh, sh. It's all right, it's all right.” He kissed my hair. “Just tell me what you can, take your time. You know I will listen.”

“I'm not wife material,” I said, miserably. “I c-can't give him what he wants...what he deserves. He already has enough headaches in his life, and I,” I sucked in a breath and made myself keep talking, “I wouldn't make any of that better.” _Probably, I'd make things worse._ I set my forehead against Alphinaud's collarbone. _And gods forbid...if anyone finds out about Nero, they'd all hate me_.

Alphinaud held Berylla's shoulders, the angle of their bodies not allowing him to pull her as close as he would have liked. She lay her head on his chest and shivered in the circle of his arms.

He had hoped she would confide in him. He had not expected that she would still be this upset over Aymeric. As she spoke, he heard something beneath her words, a kind of jaggedness to her tone, rather like a disturbance on the surface of water that indicated a hidden current.

Alphinaud kept his voice light, curious. “Why, what is it that he wants?”

He was reasonably certain that Aymeric had never made any concrete demands – not given the way the Lord Commander had spoken about Berylla, about his relationship with her, back in Ishgard. This marriage proposal had to have happened that same night – or at the latest, just before they had all left Ishgard once more. There would have been no reason for Aymeric to prevaricate; if he had wanted to keep Berylla to himself, he would have warned Alphinaud away. Instead, the older man had very nearly encouraged him.

Alphinaud's intuition told him that Berylla was working from a badly flawed hypothesis. Knowing her, she didn't even realize the fact. Therefore...he must draw her out, so that she could see for herself where her logic failed.

He thanked the Twelve for blessing him with a talent for diplomacy. He had navigated through an emotionally-charged disagreement with his own father, not that many years ago. He _could_ help Berylla now. If she would let him.

Thaliak, let her trust him to help her.

I eased back a tiny bit, and risked a glance up at him. His expression was patient, his hands still gentle – far kinder than I deserved. I was so fed up with myself – I couldn't understand how he wasn't sick of my nonsense. But I couldn't deny that I was very grateful for it.

His question made me falter. “Well I... I mean, being married means being faithful. And, and having kids...” I glanced at him again. “I can't offer him kids. I'm not too sure I can even manage the... the other thing.”

“Is Aymeric not aware that you cannot bear children?” Alphinaud's eyebrows knit. “I well recall when you told me of it.”

“Never came up,” I shrugged, and sighed. “We... I have to admit we didn't spend a lot of time on _talking_. Not about that kind of stuff.” I leaned my head against him again, hiding my blush. _We did a lot of things, but talking about the future_... “I guess I didn't think I had a real future with him... Gods, what does that say about me?”

“Nothing in particular,” Alphinaud answered, “other than that you are human, and like most of us, you do not consider that which does not seem to be of imminent importance.” His fingers combed through my hair, slowly. “As for the topic of fidelity – did he truly demand that of you?”

I sat up again, my brows knit, and he gave me a small smile. “I ask this, because you see... When he spoke to me about you, I gathered that Aymeric intended to emulate Lord Haurchefant's viewpoint on fidelity.”

I blinked, and then remembered suddenly how Aymeric had reacted when I had told him about Y'Shtola. “He said,” I murmured, “he said he had faith in me. The only thing he's ever asked of me... “ My eyes burned again. “He just wanted me to trust him.”

I shook my head, then. “He was okay with – with me having friends – but, being _married_ – it would be different then, wouldn't it? Can't have those kind of friendships if you're _married_.”

I rubbed my temples, closing my eyes a moment. “I never wanted to lay claim to anybody,” I mumbled. “Don't want anyone trying to claim me, either...”

“I feel certain that Aymeric, too, knows that you are not a prize to be won,” he told me.

I opened my eyes and looked at him, reminded all too strongly of how I'd said those words to him, months ago now. But there was no bitterness in his gaze.

Alphinaud cupped my cheek, and his thumb stroked my skin. “However, the best way to know is to ask, would you not agree?”

My face burned again, but not with embarrassment. “He – I didn't – oh gods. I've had my head up my ass, haven't I?” The realization that I had been crying all this time over _assumptions_... I sat back a little, running my hands over my face and through my hair. “I'm a gods-be-damned idiot.”

“That would be going a little _too_ far,” Alphinaud tugged at my wrists, pulling me back into another hug. “Do not forget, we can yet talk to Aymeric – and it seems clear that we ought to do so, as soon as we may.”

I mouthed the word. _We?_

I looked into those beautiful blue eyes.

“You – you would go with me?”

“If that is your wish.” He pressed his lips to mine, very gently. “I will help you in whatever way I can, Berylla.”

Water spilled down my cheeks, and I wrapped my arms around him. “Gods,” I sniffled. “Yes, it is my wish. I was going to beg you to help me, you know.”

“You have no need to beg. Not to me.” His lips pressed against my hair once more. “I am yours, Berylla. I will always be here for you.”

I couldn't answer. I held him tight, and silently thanked the Twelve.

After a minute or two, the awkward position they were in was too much to take, and Alphinaud gently persuaded Berylla to stretch out on the blankets. She lay on her back with her arms behind her head, gazing up at the sky; he lay beside her, leaning on his elbow.

He looked down at her, and stroked her hair, spreading it out, letting the strands run through his fingers. When he pressed his fingers to her scalp, gently rubbing, her eyes drifted shut and she gave a small sigh.

He pressed his lips to her forehead. Then he eased closer, one leg lying over hers, his head on her shoulder. Her arm curled around his shoulders, just as it had that night at Camp Overlook.

She grew still as he slid his hand across her belly, barely an inch away from her breasts.

“Alphinaud...?” Her voice shook.

He shifted, and brushed his lips against her cheek. “Let me have this much,” he murmured. “You said you wanted more kisses, did you not?” He kissed her cheek, her jaw, feather light touches of lips to skin. “If I must share you, let me have something of you, just this little bit.”

“Just cuddlin', okay?” Her voice was weak, breathless, thrilling.

“Yes.” He stroked her cheek, then settled his lips over hers once more.

His head swam from the taste of her – the feel of her. Her heart beat fast, he could feel her pulse when his fingers brushed her jaw. She gasped – a little sound, tiny and precious – as he slipped his tongue past her lips.

He moved slowly. Any moment, she might push him away. If she did, he would let her...he would stop. But not until she _asked_ him to stop.

And for this moment, this glorious moment, she was trembling, eagerly kissing him back, her fingers sliding across his shirt.

He dropped his head and nuzzled her breast. His hand kneaded the firmness of it, and even through her shirt he could see the hard little bud of her nipple. It yearned upward as if imploring him, and he set a tender kiss against it.

She gasped and her hand tensed against his back.

But still she didn't say “stop.” Her body _begged_ him to touch her more.

_Gods, what am I doing? But this feels so good. So right_.

I stroked his shoulders as we kissed. I felt him shiver under my touch.

When he brushed his lips against my breast, I murmured.

“That's a bit more'n cuddlin', honey.” It was a feeble protest at best.

“I know.” His lips dragged across my nipple, and though my shirt was still between my skin and his mouth, my body reacted instantly. I gasped as my nipple tightened. “Just this little bit,” he muttered, and his voice against my skin was like lightning on the horizon, lighting me up for a moment.

Somehow I stayed still, even as he stroked and kissed my breasts, ever so gently. His hips began to rock against me, in a motion so fitful I was certain he wasn't even aware he was grinding himself against my hip and thigh.

He gasped, and pressed closer still, his hand clutching my shirt for a moment. His hips ground hard against me, and he shuddered and groaned, muffled in my flesh.

_Is he about to...?_

Alphinaud felt as if his every nerve was on fire for her.

He worshiped her breasts, her nipples, his leg thrown over hers. He brushed kisses across her mouth. His loins flared with desire, even though they both had all their clothes on.

She whimpered, her hand in his hair. His world narrowed to the feel of her against his mouth, and the sensation as his cock rubbed against her hip.

He shuddered, control leaving him. His hips ground against her, until with a groan, he exploded.

His vision went dark as he clung to her, his whole body alight with bliss.

Only when the orgasm faded did the shame hit him.

He kept his face pressed against her, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes, even as his flesh yet quaked with pleasurable aftershocks. He wanted to sink into the ground. His face burned.

Berylla shifted, turning on her side, her hands gentle on him, questioning without words. _Are you all right?_

He looked up at her, and saw only tenderness in her gaze. Not a hint of disappointment. No mockery. He nearly sobbed with relief.

Trying to cover his completely unmanly reaction, he tried to make a weak joke. “Well. These trousers are likely ruined.”

Laughter sparkled in her eyes, but she soothed his cheek and didn't laugh aloud.

“Don't be embarrassed.” She smiled at him. “It's actually kinda flatterin'.”

Even if it was a lie to make him feel better...his heart leaped.

He kissed her again, kissed her the way he'd been _dreaming_ of kissing her. Her hands curled against his back and she shuddered, another tiny, delicious moan escaping her.

“I want to stay,” he murmured. He could feel his body already trying to rise up once more.

I was shaking when he let my lips go.

“You need to go clean up,” I told him gently. “And we really...shouldn't.” I stroked my thumb across his cheek. Gods, I didn't _want_ him to stop.

But I knew better. He wasn't ready. Neither of us were ready, not really. Suddenly I understood Aymeric a little better, remembering how he had waited for the right time.

I eased back from him, watching his face, hoping he wouldn't be upset.

He saw the longing in her eyes, but he also felt the reluctant shift of her body, away from him.

Somehow, this time, it didn't feel like rejection. This time, he understood.

She wanted him – oh how sweetly she wanted him. But this wasn't the right time. Not yet.

He let her go.

Her lips were dark from his kisses, and her eyes were damp with tears. He realized that she was afraid; worried that he would storm off again.

He stroked her cheek. “I love you.”

Her hand covered his, and the way she pressed her cheek into his palm felt like a promise, even though she didn't breathe a word.

Peeling himself away from her was the hardest thing he had ever done.

The silence was awkward, as we sat up, and I fished out a cloth from my pouch and handed it to him. He moved off a little way, and I made a point of turning my back. I could hear the soft splash of water, and tried to fend off little fantasies. My mind and my heart knew good and damn well this was a rotten time to try getting intimate – especially with Alphinaud's inexperience.

There were just too many reasons not to do this right now.

But my body didn't want to listen to my heart or my mind. My core pulsed with stubborn warmth, demanding that I take him by the shoulders, bear him down onto the blankets and...

I went to the edge of the lake, and splashed a little cold water on my face. _I'm not going to do it_ , I told that part of myself sternly. _He means too much to me. I am not going to be stupid and selfish about this. I'm going to wait_.

_Even if it half kills me._


	42. Get It Together

When Alphinaud came back to me, he was calm and collected again. His ears were still pink, but he handed me the (now damp) cloth without a word.

He sat down near me – carefully leaving a bit of space between us this time – and spoke, sounding just a touch formal. I recognized that he was falling back on his diplomatic habits, and let him.

“As I explained during my briefing, Alisaie and I will need to infiltrate the Moon Gates to disable the magitek field generators. Though I pride myself on my knowledge of various subjects, I must confess I lack confidence in my knowledge of this particular one.” His smile was wry. “Which is why I turned to an expert. I have been conversing with Cid via Tataru, attempting to ascertain the design of the generators based on our limited intelligence.”

“If anyone would know how to break Garlean magitek, it would be Cid,” I nodded.

“Most recently he sent a parcel with some documents which he believes may be of use.

I would like for you to go to Kugane and bring them back here. In the meantime, I will continue to work with our shinobi allies to plot a path into the gates.”

“Just go to Kugane and pick up your mail?” I teased.

He grinned, at that, and swiped at his bangs. “Heavens forbid that I ever regard you as a mere minion to be ordered about,” he chuckled.

“I don't mind. I'll go and stay the night, come back here in the morning,” I said. “Will that give you enough time to study?”

“Yes, it ought to be enough time.” He glanced up at the sun. “Speaking of time...” he sighed.

“Yeah, we've been up here long enough.” I sighed too.

He reached for me at the same moment I held out my hands to him. We twined our fingers together and just sat for one moment more.

Then, we got up, packed up, and headed back down. We walked towards Namai, and at the entrance to the village, Alphinaud turned to me.

He gave me a small bow, but the way his eyes lingered on mine belied the formal gesture, and his words were threaded with affection. “Safe travels, Berylla.”

“See you soon.”

Alphinaud watched Berylla walk away for only a moment before turning to head for the village center. He forced his mind to focus on the work at hand, but as the hours passed he found himself returning again and again to what had happened at the springs.

When at last his tasks were done for the day, he took himself off to bathe. Not for the first time, he found himself blessing Lord Edmont and his sons for putting together such an excellent traveling kit. He had no need to worry about anyone knowing just _why_ he needed to clean his clothing; a fact for which he was extremely grateful.

He brooded, however, as he cleaned first his things and then himself. How humiliating, to lose control in such a way... He recalled, suddenly, how Hancock had gone on about pillow houses, the last time he had been in Kugane. The notion of patronizing such an establishment was abruptly far less daunting. Even if he could accomplish nothing else, perhaps he might discover some method to prevent a repeat of his disgrace.

He would have no opportunity to arrange for such a thing – not now, perhaps not for quite some time. But he _would_ find a place, and a time, for his endeavor. He would do what he could – what he must – to ensure that Berylla would not be disappointed in him.

Getting back to Kugane took barely a minute, since I could just use the aetheryte. I took my time walking to the Ruby Bazaar, though. _I've earned a little bit of quiet time, damn it_.

I turned my steps toward the little garden that I had seen when we were here before.

It was lovely, a little island of peace in the middle of the bustling city. There was an odd bamboo thing in the middle of a pond – water came up, and the bamboo piece would fill, and then tip, spilling out the water. It was strange, and yet soothing. In the pond itself, a few water lilies grew, and among the flat leaves, I could see flashes of gold and orange: fish.

There were only a handful of trees, but they were all the sort that spread wide and cast a delicious shade over most of the area. A tiny, ornamental foot bridge passed over an equally tiny stream, and on the other side of that bridge from the main street, I discovered a wide bench.

I sat down, and just listened to the splash of water and the quiet murmur of the city. It felt like Kugane was miles away, even though I knew well it was maybe fifteen yards to the street. Clever design.

Thinking that made my mind turn – again – to what had just happened between me and Alphinaud. I sighed, and rubbed my eyes a little.

_He said he loves me_.

Even remembering that made my heart race, made me feel dizzy and breathless and scared and overjoyed all at the same time. Remembering how he had moved against me made me breathless for a whole other reason.

I put my head in my hands, leaning my elbows on my knees, and took a few deep breaths.

_I need to get my shit together. I should have thought about how hard it would be to hold back – should have known I would want to go too fast. For fuck's sake, the only reason I didn't jump into Aymeric's bed the minute I reached Ishgard was because_ _ **he**_ _was being a gentleman_. My lip curled. _Such a paragon you are, Berylla, with all the self control of a cat in heat_.

I shoved down all the little fantasies that kept trying to take over my thoughts, cursing at myself.

_Damn it, he's never done any of this before. Just because I could take over and – and – no, I'm_ _ **not**_ _doing that. I have to let him figure out what he wants, for himself._

_But it would be so, so easy._ The part of me that was stupid and horny wouldn't shut up. _So easy to just touch him, more and more. He would let you do anything you wanted, he would do exactly as you say, you could teach him all he needs to know_...

I pulled at my hair.

The carved wooden feather clacked as it hit the bench. I let go of my hair, and looked at the fallen comb that I'd knocked loose. Then I picked it up. The beads rattled; my hands were shaking.

I stroked one finger along the feather, remembering how Alphinaud had looked at me, the day he gave me the comb. How it had felt, knowing he had been thinking about me, to find such a thing in the first place. How I had avoided admitting how happy that thought made me.

_He means more to me than just someone to fuck, dammit_. I couldn't make myself face all the things I wanted – from him, for him, with him. _That_ was a well of feelings that would drown me right now. And at the very top, the creeping fear that somehow, making love to him would just – ruin everything. It didn't make any damn sense, but I was scared anyway.

_Fury, give me strength_. I sighed again, and tucked the comb back into my hair. Then I rose.

_Stop worrying about the wrong things, Berylla. You have a job to do_.

I walked into the Ruby Bazaar just as Hancock was seeing someone out.

“Well, well, well! What a pleasant surprise this is!” The blond man's grin was as toothy as ever, but somehow it felt very welcome to me. I still trusted him about as far as I could throw him. But it was a familiar sort of distrust. He was a known quantity, in his potential for treachery.

_Gods, what a world I live in, now. That I can choose between villains to associate with, and prefer pirates to...to...whatever the fuck Hancock is._

I mentally shrugged, but outwardly I just smiled back at him, and then followed him in the main office beyond the big double doors.

Tataru looked up at me with wide eyes. “Berylla!? What are you doing here? I thought you were off fighting nomads on the Azim Steppe!”

For my own part, I could only stare with my mouth open for a long moment.

Her hair was down, she was wearing a pink kimono, and she looked utterly adorable, like some kind of delicate doll. _I wonder where she hides that knife she usually keeps on her?_

She started to giggle, and that finally shook me out of my surprise enough for me to answer her sensibly.

“I won the Nadaam,” I said. “So now I'm technically the khagan.” I grimaced. “Though I will thank you not to call me that. Ever.”

Her eyes danced. “Oh, so you beat them! Good show! A shame I didn't get to see it.”

I couldn't help but laugh along with her then. Knowing Tataru, she would have made a whole sack full of gil, taking bets on the whole nonsense.

“Alphinaud has been keeping me apprised of the situation in Doma,” she said, when we both got done chuckling. “I may not be any good in a physical fight, but in an, err...paperwork...fight, _I'm_ the true khagan!”

I cracked up again. “Yes, you are, Tataru. Gods, it's good to talk with you again.” Then, I let myself get a little more serious. “So. Alphinaud has something for me to pick up and bring him, but if you don't object, I'd like to spend the night.”

“Oh! You certainly are welcome!”

“Yes indeed,” Hancock agreed. “We would be very happy to have you.”

“Let me go ahead and get that package,” Tataru told me. “That way, we can spend the rest of today on the _important_ things.”

“Gossiping?”

“Of course!”

She hustled off towards a side room, and Hancock smiled after her.

“I must confess,” he told me, very quietly, “I harbored some small resentment of Mistress Tataru at first. She came into these offices and took them over before I could say 'knife.' An outrage.” His grin was self-conscious now, “But truly, every change she has made has been quite beneficial; not only to the Scions, but to my own efforts. Even more amazing, she has graciously recommended that I take full credit for the changes. I expect to earn a hefty bonus from the Chairman by the end of the quarter.”

I blinked at him, and then grinned. “She's pretty great,” I agreed.

Then my head snapped around towards the open door, as Tataru let out a cry of dismay.

“Oh, _bugger!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small message from me!
> 
> Thank you ALL for reading and sticking around for the various shenanigans! I am far from done with Berylla and company, but I'm finding that life is loading a lot onto me right now, and I want to avoid burnout. So I'm going to put Salt on pause for just a little while, and focus my energy on one fic at a time for the rest of 2020. I will try to do updates when I can here, but they might not be very regular. By the end of January 2021 I plan to be back into the swing of three times a week though!
> 
> I am so deeply grateful for all of you! Thank you for being patient with me!


	43. A Night in Kugane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to get back to my regular update schedule soon, but here is a chapter to tide you all over while I work on getting my buffer filled again!

I dashed into the side room, to see Tataru holding a box in her hands, looking down into it with a horrified expression.

“What is it? What's wrong, Tataru??”

She looked up at me, her eyes wide and troubled. “This was _supposed_ to be a manual about magitek generators,” she said, and her hands shook as she tipped the box towards me.

The distinct, sweet scent of lilacs drifted up to my nose, and I could see quite a few bundles of delicate looking paper, tied with equally delicate, very pretty ribbon.

“Somehow, I doubt that Cid Garlond sent us _love letters_.”

“Thal's balls,” I murmured. “How on earth did – wait a minute.”

I held my hands out for the box, and Tataru gave it over. I examined the side of it. “These are Hingan letters, aren't they?” It was definitely an address – someone at the Sekiseigumi barracks, if my Echo was translating accurately.

“They – they are.” Hancock peered at the box, and then set his hand to his mouth. “Oh. Oh, I see. The porter must have gotten packages mixed up. A simple mistake...”

“ _Simple?!_ ” Tataru spluttered.

“Well, yes, simple,” Hancock answered, his tone soothing. “We simply locate the porter, and correct his error. I am certain that he will be quite grateful to us if we rescue him from embarrassing himself – and whoever was meant to receive this parcel, as well.”

“Well then, let's not waste another minute!”

And off she went, without waiting for either me or Hancock to so much as draw breath to answer her. I reflected that, despite the new clothing, she could still scamper pretty damn fast for someone so small.

Hancock cleared his throat and held out his hands. “Leave that with me, if you will. Should the porter realize his mistake, and return here whilst you and Tataru are out...”

“Good idea.” I handed him the box. “How do I know which fellow to look for? I'm assuming he's a local.”

“He will have an emblem on the shoulder of his robe,” Hancock answered promptly. “A crested bifang, embroidered in blue on a white field.”

“All right then. See you soon.”

I headed out, and turned my steps first towards the Sekiseigumi barracks. If I was lucky, I'd head the porter off before he got there.

I stepped back into the office an hour later, feeling very pleased with myself.

Hancock was waiting for me in the foyer. “Back already? Tataru is as well. She couldn't find the porter, in case you're wondering.”

We stepped back into the main office, and Tataru looked up at me, her brows creased in worry. “I'm sorry, I couldn't find him. I guess we just have to hope he realizes his mistake and returns soon...”

Grinning, I took the box from behind my back and presented it to her with a flourish.

“That's it! That's the parcel! You found him!” She clapped her hands and jumped up and down in a little circle for a moment. Then, she cleared her throat, and collected herself. She took the box from me, and pretended to grumble. “Though, knowing our luck, Cid put the wrong papers in here...”

But she was grinning again soon enough. “Nope, this is it! These are the documents detailing the operation of the magitek field generators Alphinaud requested!”

Hancock covered his mouth, but it didn't do much to hide his sudden sly grin. “I can only imagine what would have happened had we sent Berylla back to Doma with a parcel full of love letters. The look on Alphinaud's face when he reads the first page...”

I couldn't help it. I burst into giggles, even while my cheeks burned. Tataru started to giggle too.

Hancock laughed aloud. “On second thought, I'm a little disappointed we didn't.”

The rest of the evening was spent in high spirits.

The first thing I did, of course, was ask about dinner.

“There is a lovely little place I would like to take the two of you,” Hancock answered.

“Oh – I don't need you to make a big deal or anything,” I started to say, but he held up one hand and gave me a look over the rim of his glasses.

“I insist.”

He said it so firmly that I raised my eyebrows and then gave in. “Well, all right.”

“It's early yet,” Tataru said, a little too casually. She looked up at me. “We could go take a short walk around the weavers' district.”

I eyed her. I knew that look. She had ideas again, almost certainly about clothing. But then I looked once more at her robe, and decided to let her have her way. She had never steered me wrong in the realm of fashion before. And I could always say no.

“Sure.”

Hancock grinned as Tataru crooked her finger and led me back out into the city.

We reached the weavers' district, and almost immediately Tataru steered me towards a specific merchant – the very same one whose wares had caught my eye, that first day we had been in the city. The sky blue silk was still on display, and I didn't bother trying to hide my interest.

But when the woman behind the counter addressed Tataru by name, I knew that I had been maneuvered again.

“Ah! Miss Tataru! Is this the tall friend you were telling my master about?”

“She is!”

“Wait here but a moment, and I shall fetch him. He will be so pleased to see you!”

I looked down at my friend. “Telling people about me, are you?”

She smirked. “I merely described you to the good man, with an eye to getting you something special. I missed your nameday, after all.”

I shook my head. “No you didn't, you gave me a new chef's knife.”

“Sh.”

“Tataru, is this really necessary – ”

“Sh, I said.”

Before I could try again, the woman returned, with an older man beside her. The fellow had a bright gaze and a manner that reminded me somewhat of the tall, elegant wading birds that I'd seen along the One River in Doma.

There was a flurry of discussion – all of which went right over my head – and then Tataru was ushering me into a back room, and there on a stand was a robe made of the exact silk I had so admired.

The weaver and his assistant bowed themselves out.

Tataru bustled about, getting me to peel out of my usual clothes and then into the kimono. But she didn't rattle on about the details, the embroidery, or anything else. _So she wanted me alone for something._

“Okay, Tataru, what's the matter?”

“Nothing, yet.” She handed me the belt for the kimono. “Here, wrap this like so – ”

As I clumsily copied her movements, she said, too casually, “How are you and Alphinaud doing?”

I dropped the belt.

“W-w-what.”

She rolled her eyes a little, and picked the silk up off the floor. But when I reached for it, she didn't let it go, forcing me to meet her eyes.

“I know you and he are involved, Berylla. You know I can keep my teeth shut on a secret. But I know you've gotten yourself in over your head at least once. So I'm asking you: are you and Alphinaud okay?”

“I...think we are.” I stared down at her. “What are you talking about, I got in over my head?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Did you really believe you could carry on with Nero like that, and no one be the wiser?”

My knees went away. I sat down hard on the floor. “Oh _shit_.” My voice was nothing but a whisper; I couldn't manage more.

Tataru growled a little, and poked me in the shoulder. “Stop that. I didn't mean the whole Toll knew about it. But I knew.”

“How did you – no – _how much_ did you know?” I bit my lip, bracing myself to hear the worst.

“I knew enough to know he wasn't doing you any good.” The Lalafellin woman glared at me. “And I wish you had _talked_ to me. I would have set you straight long before you finally rid yourself of him.”

_She doesn't know what I did to him. She doesn't know it was blackmail. Oh thank the Twelve, she doesn't know it was all_ _**my** _ _fault._

I let the tears show, but I was careful with my words.

“It wasn't pretty, that's true, Tataru. But I...what happened with Nero hasn't got a thing to do with Alphinaud and me.”

“Are you sure?”

Ice ran down my back as I remembered just why I had been angry and horny that night.

“Look,” I tried, “You already know about how Alphinaud and I...disagreed and everything. We worked our way through that, and we're working our way through – whatever you want to call what we have now. We're moving slowly, and I'm doing my damnedest to be careful. Of him.”

“Of course you're more worried about him than you are about yourself.” She sighed.

“Why wouldn't I be?” I blinked at her. “Tataru, I'm a walking disaster when it comes to my relationships, haven't you seen that? You're asking me these things because you're worried about him, aren't you?”

“Alphinaud is an adult and quite capable of looking after himself,” she answered. “I ask you these things because I have concerns for _you_.”

“Me? Why?”

“Just the same as I told you back when we were still at sea, Berylla.” Her eyes were hard, completely at odds with her delicate appearance. “We need our Warrior of Light to be functioning, with her head on straight, and not destroying herself. We need you able to make intelligent decisions on the battlefield as you've done in the past. We don't need you falling apart on us just as we're in the middle of liberating Doma.” Her mouth flattened. “I don't want you breaking your heart over Alphinaud.”

“He would never hurt me.” I said the words before I could consider them.

Tataru rolled her eyes. “Of course he wouldn't. The man would likely sooner lop off a hand than do you harm. But I shouldn't have to remind you that Ser Aymeric didn't want to hurt you, either.”

I swallowed hard. “That's a low blow, Tataru.”

“I take the shots I can reach,” she snapped back. Then she took a long breath and let it out in a long sigh. Her voice was calmer when she spoke again. “Look, you're an adult. I am not about to tell you how to live your life. But I want to be sure you're okay, because if you go out to fight this battle for the castle and you let your focus drop even for a moment – ”

“I'm not going to do that.”

“Even if you're worrying yourself sick over Alphinaud?”

I sat up straight. “Damn it, Tataru, that hasn't been a problem before, why would it be a problem now?” I took the belt from her, with a sharp tug. “You never would have asked me that about Aymeric, and I fought beside him plenty back in Ishgard. Alphinaud's _just_ as capable in the field as I am.”

For a long moment she and I just sat there, glaring at each other.

Then she smiled. “Good. That's the fire that I wanted to see. I can't help worrying about you sometimes, Berylla. Forgive me.”

“Or course I forgive you,” I answered, then paused. “Were you also bringing all this up to make me think harder about it?”

Her smile was sweet but her tone was pure snark. “You're learning.”

I couldn't help but laugh. “Okay, okay. How about I promise to come talk with you if anything changes with me and Alphinaud? Will that ease your mind?”

“It will,” she nodded. “Now, come on, get up. We need to teach you how to tie that obi.”

I obeyed her, and finally managed to get everything tied and put in place correctly.

As I stood admiring myself in the mirror, I asked her, “Why did you insist on getting this for me? Not that I mind! It's just – not something I would expect _anyone_ to give me.”

“Seventeen axes and not a single skirt,” she answered, her voice dry as a Thanalan summer.

I blushed.

Not an hour later, I was sitting around a big, square table with a roaring fire in the center of it, tending to strips of meat in a pan, while Tataru and Hancock did the same from their own places on either side of me. The sleeves of the kimono could be pinned up to keep them out of danger – a feature for which I was very grateful – and I was pleased to discover that the layers of silk were warm without being _too_ warm, even with me literally leaning over a fire.

The idea of this establishment, it seemed, was that you cooked your own meat, and added it to the rice and vegetables that were brought already prepared. There was – at least so far as I could tell – no limit on how much you were allowed to eat.

The fire, and thus the pans, were very hot. Even Alphinaud could have managed this sort of cookery – it was ridiculously simple – but there was a definite attraction to the fact that the meat was literally as hot as possible when you started to eat, and whatever they marinated their meat and vegetables in was delectable.

Hancock was grinning ear to ear as he watched me work. “You've quite a talent,” he said to me.

“Oh, I'm all right with a frying pan,” I smiled. “I'm going to try to come back to Kugane, once all this is over. There's so much more food to try!”

Tataru laughed.

I slept like a rock without dreaming, and when morning came, I was packed and ready to go before Tataru was awake. However, Hancock was up and about, and was quick to offer me food – which I of course accepted. Once I got back to Namai, things were going to be hectic – and then dangerous.

Tataru came out when I was about half way through my food, and she smiled and stepped over to me. Her little hand patted my shoulder.

“I'm glad I caught you before you left,” she said. “I wanted to apologize for yesterday. You'd think I wouldn't be making the same silly mistakes... ”

I shook my head. “There's nothing to apologize for, the mistake wasn't yours – and it all worked out fine. You're doing an amazing job here, Tataru. It was just a little wrinkle.”

“It won't happen again, Berylla! And I'll keep working hard to bring you and the others useful information!” She nodded firmly. “If we hear anything new, we'll contact you straightaway!”

I smiled, and she seemed content to move off and take a seat at the table, to help herself to the food.

Hancock gave me a wide, toothy smile. “Oh, and you may be pleased to hear that we have brokered an arrangement between the company and the Confederacy. They require armaments, we provide. Discreetly, and at a reasonable price.”

Tataru plucked up the last onigiri. “I'm sure Lord Lolorito was pleased to hear it.”

Hancock laughed, unruffled by the edge to her tone. “Ahaha! Indeed he was, indeed he was.” he sighed, a contented sound. “I can see it now. Confederate ships sailing up the One River, equipped with the finest Lominsan-made cannons, provided by the East Aldenard Trading Company. The world is not as big as it once was, my friend.”

I half smiled. It feels plenty big to me, but I know what he means. How much more change is ahead of me, I wonder?

When we had eaten, Hancock went off to take care of whatever morning work he had; Tataru walked me to the door. “Well, it seems our time together is at an end! Give Alphinaud and Alisaie my regards, will you?” She glanced up at me, eyes serious. “We've got eyes on the Garlean embassy, just so you know. If we notice anything suspicious, you'll be the first to hear about it.”

“That takes a weight off my mind for sure,” I nodded. Then I knelt down, and gave her a small hug. “We should be back here in no more than a week,” I said.

She smiled, hugging me back, and just nodded.

I stood up, and made my way out and towards the docks.

The time for talking was nearly over.


	44. A Story in Your Heart

Soroban was full of good news and funny little anecdotes; the trip from Kugane to Isari was really very pleasant. The morning sun sparkled on the waves, the wind was just strong enough for us to make good speed, and by the time the skiff touched the pier in Isari, the Kojin had invited me to come take a meal with his brethren – “Soon,” he told me with a big grin. “Before the battle, perhaps, if you have the time.”

I smiled back. “I'll see what I can do.”

I left him there, discussing something with the village's elder, and headed straight for Namai.

The valley was quiet. I could have teleported, but I found myself wanting to take a good look at the area. All those chores I had helped out with had made me familiar with the fields and farms, and I could see now how the villagers had prepared themselves. Anything that could be harvested, had been; where there had been crates and baskets and jars, now there were bare patches, as if the inhabitants of all the little huts and houses had packed up and left.

Maybe they had. Certainly I wouldn't blame any of them for hiding away their children at the least. I wondered if anyone had thought to ask the tribes of the Steppe to help shelter the innocent. _Well, not my problem to oversee – but maybe I can ask about it_.

The moment I set foot in the House of the Fierce, Yugiri was there, smiling at me. “You are returned from Kugane? How fares Tataru?”

“She's in fine fettle,” I answered, and as Yugiri walked beside me I related a few bits of my evening.

Alphinaud was sitting at the table that he had taken over; there were papers spread across it, and most of them looked to be maps or diagrams of the Gates. He looked up as we approached, and smiled at me. But his smile was carefully cheerful, not too warm, and I knew he was still trying to be as discreet as possible.

“Oh! It seems like just yesterday you were here.”

I couldn't help but crack up at the sly humor in his voice.

Then, he got back to business. “Our plans proceed apace. Do you have the documents?”

“Yup.” I handed over the package with the book inside, and repressed the urge to tell him about the box of love letters. Something for another time.

“Excellent! This looks to be exactly what we need.” He set the book on the table, and opened it, glancing across the pages quickly. “Assuming our shinobi escort can see us safely inside the Moon Gates, I should have no trouble deactivating the barrier. Good, good─that is one less thing to worry about...” He trailed off, his brow starting to crease as he read more closely. Then, he shook his head a little and looked back up at me and Yugiri.

“Thank you, Berylla.”

“No problem.”

Yugiri smiled. “We shall leave you to your research, then. I shall go and check in with the escort detail.” She glanced at me. “Perhaps Haname has need of a helping hand, Berylla?”

I took the suggestion with a nod, though part of me wanted to stay right where I was. _You know better than that, Berylla._

So, off I went to find Haname.

I found her quickly enough, but that was no surprise. Haname was in charge of most of the organization for the Doman Liberation Front, and had led the group the entire time that Hien had been exiled. She had her own little “office” of sorts – two tables, and a bench. There was not much in the way of “paperwork” for rebels, of course. But today she had a sheaf of paper in front of her, and a stand with another piece of paper; she was making meticulous copies as I approached her.

She looked up and smiled. “Ah, Warrior, is there something you need?”

“Yugiri sent me to see if you need anything, actually. I think she wants to keep me busy.” I smiled, and made a little throw-away gesture that I had learned from the villagers. These folk were far more serious than even Ishgardians – but they did know how to laugh, and Haname chuckled as she understood the mild sarcasm in my tone.

“I require no assistance, comrade. Lord Hien's instructions to me were quite clear─I need only transcribe them for the benefit of our Xaela allies.” She cocked her head. “Speaking of Lord Hien, if you are eager to be of service, perhaps you could seek him out? Keep an eye on him, perchance, should he decide to venture outside?”

The glint in her eye told me that Hien had already mentioned something of the sort.

She smiled as I nodded.

“Like you, Lord Hien is not given to idleness. He may go whither he will, of course, but I do fear for his safety.”

“I'll just keep him company a bit, then.” I made my way towards the tunnel that led out into the eastern side of the valley.

Hien was standing in the tunnel itself, gazing out at the landscape, arms crossed. He glanced over at me as I came up, and smiled.

I leaned up against the rock wall, and crossed my own arms, my head turned to also look outside. The sun was almost at zenith, and from here I could see the quarry, which sparkled in the sunlight, throwing off a million fragmented rainbows.

Hien didn't look at me as he spoke. “Hmm, let me guess: someone asked you to act as my protector?”

“Something along those lines. I take it you've been pacing or something?”

“Hah! To hear them mutter, one would think I intended to stride up to the castle gates on my own!” He laughed once more, then fell silent.

After a few minutes, he uncrossed his arms, and turned to face me. “The truth, of course, is rather less dramatic. I had hoped to look on the castle one last time before the battle. Would you care to join me? You would be setting a lot of fretful minds at rest.”

“Sure.” I straightened. “We can call it a scouting foray if you want to give an official excuse.”

His eyes crinkled with appreciation for the little joke. “Very good! Then let us depart for Monzen at once.”

The walk was pleasant – with all the patrolling going on, even the tigers were avoiding the road. Nothing troubled us as we made our way. Hien's stride was not hurried, but he wasn't strolling either. I kept one eye out – just in case – and glanced at him every so often.

He looked pensive, and I wondered what was going through his mind. Had he played along this road as a boy? Well, maybe not. I doubted that a prince was allowed such simple pleasures.

My own thoughts drifted to the night before the Nadaam. I remembered all of it. Vividly. But many of the others who had been there didn't seem to recall a thing. _Not that I'm going to go hunt up Lyse and ask her about it. Gods, I'd die of embarrassment if anybody brought it up_...

Fortunately, Hien didn't. Instead, he told me a little about the town that lay ruined at the edge of the river, and then he bid me take a look through part of the ruins, just in case there might be anything useful.

But all I found, really, were some annoying Garlean machina and a lot of rubble. The place had been picked clean – probably by Imperials and locals alike.

I was about to turn away when I caught the gleam of metal.

The gleam came from under a big piece of masonry – a section of wall that hadn't come apart completely when it was bombed. I would never have seen the thing if the sun hadn't been at just the right angle.

I heaved the wall piece up a bit, and set my shoulders underneath it for just long enough to grab the shiny thing. Then I yanked myself backwards, and let the stone fall. It made a dry cracking sound as it hit the ground, and I shivered a little. _That sounded way too much like breaking bones_.

I looked at the thing I had retrieved. A sword. I lifted it a little. Not just any sword. This was something just as good as the weapon Gosetsu carried. No common soldier's weapon, for sure. I wondered why something this valuable had been left here for so long.

I turned around, and headed for the river.

Hien was already standing at the water's edge when I found him. He was gazing across the river at the castle, but the moment he heard my footstep, he turned away, as if relieved to have a reason _not_ to look anymore.

“Alas, I found naught of value. Did you?”

I held up the sword. Hien's eyes widened just a little, and he took it from me. His mouth tightened as he examined it.

“Still sheathed in its scabbard...though even shielded from the elements, it will need to be cleaned and oiled─ ”

He stopped, and closed his eyes for an instant.

“You okay?”

He swallowed once. Then opened his eyes again, fixing them on the sword instead of looking at me. “I recognize the crest. It belonged to the son of a samurai I trained with when I was young.

He never even had the chance to draw it... ”

He turned away, and tucked the sword into his belt. Then, he began to walk along the water's edge. I followed, without trying to talk to him. This was a new side to the prince, for me. No longer optimistic and cheerful – no, now his shoulders were tense with anger, his mouth tight with bitterness. And I knew what I had seen in his eyes even though he'd tried to hide it.

Grief.

Had he been running away from all this, in his head? Had all the merry banter been just a way to soothe this pain?

He stopped, and I came to stand beside him. The view of the castle now was clear, and he gazed at it with an expression like stone. His voice was quiet.

“There she is. Doma Castle. My home. They let us keep her for a time, before gradually moving their forces across from Fluminis. Now her every court and corridor belongs to Yotsuyu. Though Father spent much of his time there, I did not. I may only have visited him there on half a dozen occasions, if that. I cannot remember.”

 _Oh._ I blinked a little, and crossed my arms to cover my reaction. _Gods, what a depressing childhood. All this money and wealth and yet – never seeing his father?_ I blinked once more, forcing the sting of tears away.

Hien didn't notice my reaction. “But I remember the view from the keep. Doma seemed much smaller from there. Like you could hold it in your hands.” He snorted softly. “Well, Monzen at least. Doma is so much more than that. There, beyond the Moon Gates, unto the shores of the Ruby Sea, and here,” and now he looked down, and touched his chest. “Here, in the places that no man can see or touch or take from you.”

I watched him, not speaking. He didn't seem to mind my silence. It was almost as if he was talking more to himself than to me...as if speaking the words made them all the more true.

“We carry her with us, wheresoever we go,” Hien murmured. “Not the land or the soil...but the story. And what is life if not a story? The story of our journey from dawn to dusk, day after day after day. The story of our mothers and our fathers, our families and our friends, our peoples and our nations.

I think a part of me understood that, when I looked out from the keep.” He lifted his head and stared out at the castle once more. “Hien, son of Kaien. Another caretaker of the story of Doma.”

I wished for a moment that I could say something to him. _Even Lyse would be better to talk to than me right now. I don't have a home, or a people, or a past. Not like this_.

I looked at the castle. _I don't have a story_. The knowledge wasn't new – but it had never hurt before. I shoved at the pain, confused and annoyed, forcing it out of my mind. It lingered, like a toothache, but I turned my attention outward, and focused on Hien again.

He smiled over at me. “It's a fine castle, truly, with an even finer view. But in the end...” His voice trailed off, and he stared at me – through me. His expression made me wonder if he was okay. “In...in the end...”

Then he spun on his heel and started back towards the road. Startled, I had to jog a little to catch up to him. He didn't look at me as he spoke.

“Kami strike me down, how could I be so blind! We must return to the House of the Fierce at once! I have had what can only be described as a revelation. Ours is an excellent plan, but not so excellent that it cannot be improved─and I know how.”

He picked up his pace, almost jogging through the ruins, until we were in sight of the road. There, he paused, and turned to look at me.

“On second thought, Berylla, I ask that you return to the House of the Fierce without me, and tell Alphinaud to call the others together for a meeting.”

“Huh? But why?” I frowned at him, and he set his hands on my upper arms, squeezing reassurance.

“It is imperative that the Kojin emissary be in attendance as well. I shall join you anon.”

I shook my head. “Soroban is in Isari, it would simpler for me to go talk to him, _after_ I make sure that you get back in one piece – ”

But he was shaking his head, wild black tail of hair flying like a defiant pennant in a storm.

“Do not worry, my friend. I will not be far behind.”

Then he let me go, turned away, and dashed out onto the clear part of the road. I had no second chance to object. Hien started to run, and I was left blinking in the dust, wondering what I was going to tell Haname...and Yugiri.


	45. Finishing Touches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small note that one passage in this chapter is adapted from my ficlet "Drift" - so if it looks familiar, that would be why!

I got back, and headed straight for Alphinaud's table, where he was still hunched over the book, brows creased in that particular frown that meant he was concentrating hard.

I cleared my throat, and he startled a little and looked up at me, blinking owlishly. “Sorry,” I told him, “but Hien wants to discuss the plan. He was, um, really emphatic. And he wants the Kojin representative here too.”

“Very well,” Alphinaud answered, sounding equal parts annoyed and concerned. “If he insists.”

I could only shrug helplessly.

Alphinaud got up. “I shall summon the others at once,” he said. “But I believe the Blue Kojin emissary was already on route. Alisaie was to escort him.”

“Soroban's the emissary, isn't he?” I guessed.

Alphinaud flashed me a smile, but didn't answer other than that. Instead he went off, hunting up a messenger.

There was a commotion of voices in the chamber behind me, and I went to look.

Hien was there, with Haname in front of him and a soldier to his left. The prince looked pretty miffed. I hurried over.

“Hien, I just got word. The Kojin emissary is on his way as we speak. You won't need to wait long for him.”

Thick black eyebrows raised, Hien regarded me for a long moment. Then, he sighed, and all the tension in him seemed to vanish, like water out of a cracked jar.

“Very well. I will be patient once more,” he said, and the humor was back in his voice.

I smiled a little, and tried not to look as relieved as I felt. Hien hadn't really been thwarted all that much, out on the Steppe – he had been willing to adjust plans on the fly and nothing at all seemed to fluster him, because none of his plans were set in stone.

But the situation was clearly a bit different now. I hadn't seen this stubborn streak before. It was a helpful thing to know about the man. Just in case I had to pull him out of danger, later.

“Come,” he said to me. “We will go and await the others.”

I bowed my head, and fell into step beside him. Haname and the soldier looked after us for a moment, and I wasn't sure if their expressions were relieved or offended.

Yugiri glanced at me, questions in her eyes, as we gathered. I could only shake my head. _I don't know what he's planning any more than you do, this time, Yugiri._

This time, our semi circle had me in the center, and Alphinaud on the end to Hien's left. Gosetsu watched his lord with grave patience, but no sign of worry. Lyse was on her way down from Namai, and Alisaie had confirmed that she had the emissary with her. Alphinaud stood waiting, arms crossed, his expression very closed.

Footsteps sounded behind me, and I looked over my shoulder. When I saw Alisaie, I smiled.

“May I present the Blue Kojin's emissary,” she said, but the grin in her voice made the words a lot less formal.

Soroban laughed. “The elder sends his regards.”

On the other side of the room, Lyse came in, and instantly she went to Soroban to greet him. “It's good to have you with us!”

Then, everyone took up places in the circle – Lyse beside me, Alisaie beside her brother, and Soroban standing just behind the twins. Everyone looked at Hien.

I hid a smile as he gazed back at us, and suddenly looked ill at ease. I sympathized, but only a little bit. I hated it when all eyes in the room were on me, too. But I wasn't a noble looking to lead his people out of oppression. _He's just going to have to get used to being the center of attention_.

For once, I was glad I was nothing more than a sword for Hydaelyn.

“Er,” Hien coughed a little. “If, uh, you might humor me...”

Alphinaud's nod seemed to hearten him. He turned a little, to face Soroban. “Thank you for coming,” he told the Kojin. “Doubtless you have already been informed of our plans and the role we would have your people play. However, I seek your counsel as a Kojin of the Blue.”

Soroban spread his hands, a gesture of “ask whatever you wish.”

Hien's eyes narrowed slightly as he spoke. “Be it by spell or siegecraft, could your forces destroy the underwater foundations of Doma Castle's outer wall?”

Alisaie cocked her head, mouth pursed, clearly wondering what the prince had in mind.

Alphinaud's eyes widened and his jaw dropped for a moment, before he got his composure back.

Soroban, meanwhile, hummed thoughtfully, then answered. “Explosives, coupled with a few incantations... Yes, that might produce sufficient force. Such a thing could indeed be done.”

Hien nodded, a definite look of satisfaction crossing his features now. “Then I wish to revise the plan.”

He faced us all, and his voice took on an edge of excitement. “Instead of assisting the Confederacy in securing the enclave, I would have the Kojin advance upstream, beneath the water, and breach a segment of the outer wall.” He lifted his chin, as if knowing what he was about to say was going to provoke at least a few of us. “I mean to flood Doma Castle.”

Yugiri made a small noise in her throat; most of the rest seemed startled.

Soroban was nodding slowly, though, and after his initial reaction, so was Alphinaud. I crossed my arms, and waited.

Gosetsu was the one who protested. “My lord, the castle is a sacred symbol – the very heart of our nation!” He gestured wildly, nearly smacking Alphinaud in the side of the head. “To destroy it is unthinkable! Unconscionable! You cannot do this!” His voice echoed off the rock walls.

But that stubborn look was back now. Hien stared down his samurai – an impressive feat given how much taller Gosetsu was – and his voice was hard as he answered. “I can and I will if it improves our chances. By flooding the castle we remove the better part of their forces from the field and force Yotsuyu to retreat to the highest levels of the keep.” He lifted his hand and made a fist to emphasize his point. “Tell me that is not a worthwhile trade.”

For the first time since I had met him, Gosetsu looked almost ready to cry. He lowered his voice, but the distress in his tone only intensified. “That castle was entrusted to you by your father, and his father before him. I say to you again: it is the heart of our nation.”

Hien's eyes softened, and he nodded once. “Stone walls do not a nation make, my friend.” His voice was softer too. He held Gosetsu's eyes another moment, then looked to Yugiri, then included all of us in his glance. “Her people do.”

I drew in a breath. That was what had hit him, there in the ruins. “Doma is so much more,” he had said. “A story you carry in your heart.”

I had thought to myself then, that I couldn't understand. That I had no story. But now, now something was swelling in my chest, some feeling I couldn't name. It hurt a little, and yet it wasn't a sad feeling either. His eyes met mine and he smiled.

“As long as we yet live, we can rebuild. So let us only think of this battle. Of victory here and now. For without that, we have no future.”

He didn't need to say it, for all of us felt it in that moment – the simple truth that without a future, Doma's past didn't stand a chance either.

Gosetsu shut his eyes, and bowed his head.

Alphinaud's eyes were closed too, but his expression was not so pensive as he opened them. “I see that you are resolved, Lord Hien, and I would not presume to gainsay your decision.” But under the formality, I heard something more.

Pride.

Hien heard it too, and his eyes warmed.

Soroban made a formal looking salute, one fist striking his chest. “I will inform the elder of your revised stratagem,” he told Hien, “and instruct our sappers to make ready.”

Hien gave him a nod, and looked at all of us. “Our preparations are all but complete. Once we receive word from our Kojin allies, we shall set our plans in motion.” His eyes blazed, now. “We shall fight, and we shall prevail.”

With literally nothing left for me specifically to do, I decided to go with Soroban.

The entire Kojin village seemed glad to see me, though I couldn't quite fathom why. But they didn't make a fuss over me, instead inviting me to sit and eat and listen to various stories for a time. It was pleasant to feel included without feeling – well, singled out.

When the meal was over, I spoke to Soroban.

“I have something I'd like to try – meditation, sort of. Would you be willing to watch over my things for a little bit? I don't plan to go far, but I want to – well, just float for a while.”

He nodded. “Certainly I can safeguard your possessions.” His grin wasn't so strange to me anymore. “I can even recommend a spot for your meditations.”

“Thanks, Soroban.”

_The blessing of the kami is the best thing that's happened to me out here._

Down here, yards beneath the water's surface, it was peaceful. Not quiet: I could hear the fish I couldn't see. Through the magic that allowed me to just drift, their noises transmuted into something most like birdsong, little twitters and soft melodies.

The sea sighed around me, an encompassing rise and fall, as if the world itself breathed at a different pace here.

I could feel my heartbeat slowing.

My hair drifted, unbound. A pair of tiny silvery fish played in it for a moment, then darted away when they noticed it wasn't sea-grass after all.

An enormous fish made a slow progress across my field of vision. I saw one eye examine me as it floated by, stately and bizarre, a rounded shape taller than I was.

The tether reached its limit, and tugged me gently back towards the giant kelp stalk to which I had tied myself. My hair flowed around my face, and I let it cover my eyes.

Above the water the sun was setting, turning the upper part of my horizon as ruby-red as the region's name deserved. Somewhere up there, trouble waited for me. And friends. A war. Grief. Pain. Worry.

I could have gone deeper, the blessing was more than powerful enough to let me walk on the very bottom of the great Trench that sheltered the palace of Shisui. But I didn't want the cold darkness of those depths, not now.

The light here didn't hurt my eyes as it had on the surface.

The sounds didn't drum against my head and make me ache.

I let my eyes shut part way, and counted out the length of my breaths as Nightbird had shown me. Focused on the flex of my diaphragm, the flare of my nostrils as I breathed water that transmuted to air just as it touched me.

I released my breath, counting. Took in another, counting.

Everything that could be planned for, had been planned for: there were gaps in our information, but primarily our only real worry was dealing with the unpredictable.

It would all be decided by this time tomorrow. Alphinaud had his book, and was memorizing the information in it, the way that only he could. I wondered if he understood how rare his gift was, to plan so thoroughly, to learn so very fast. I smiled slowly, thinking about the way his brows had drawn down as he concentrated. The unfocused look in his eyes as he assimilated a passage, that fine mind of his tucking the information away, to be retrieved at need – or when he wanted to show off.

Would his brows knit, when he touched me? Would he memorize every inch of my skin?

I shook my head a little. _Now is not the time for fantasies_.

Soon, there would be no more time.

I soaked up the peace of the sea, stored the quiet sighing of the waters deep in my soul, to comfort me. I knew I would need it. If not tomorrow, if not the day after, then soon enough.

I had never been much of one for praying. I knew who my god was, and I knew what She could do...and what She could not. Nonetheless, I whispered into the sea, setting little prayers free on the tide.  _ If I must die for those I can yet save, then so be it _ .

_ Meditating in the sea really was a good idea _ . I came back to Namai, just after the sun had set, feeling a great deal better. I found myself invited to another meal – this time, a brief but very cheerful dinner, with Isse and his sister. Azami chattered the entire time, saving me from having to make any real conversation. But in its way, the simple meal and her cheerful voice was just as restful as the sea had been. It reminded me of why we were doing all this, why we were fighting so hard.

As I walked back down to the caverns, a small thought occurred to me. I hadn't talked with Alisaie yet, not really. After all her odd behavior so far, I figured I should go check on her. I turned my steps to go looking for her.

I found her working out against some training dummies. I watched her until she finished, and then made enough of a noise to let her know I was there.

She turned, saw me, and smiled.

“Welcome back, Berylla.” She moved off the sandy area with the dummies, and walked over to a rough bench that had been put together from an old plank of wood and some salvaged bricks of some sort. She set down her rapier, and picked up a rag from the bench and wiped her face.

“Your fighting style looks really good,” I observed. “Speaking of, I've been wondering – where did you learn that? You never mentioned training in sword-work.” I gave her a half smile. “Not that we've had a lot of such conversations lately.”

She laughed a little. “Indeed.” She began a set of slow stretches. When she spoke, her words were slow and thoughtful. “I learned the rapier back home. I always enjoyed the more physical classes – and it didn't hurt that leaping about in tight fencing armor utterly scandalized my mother.” Her mouth quirked in an odd, bittersweet smile. “But the actual use of magic in this way...that, I learned much later.”

I came closer to where she stretched, and leaned against the cavern wall. “Oh?”

“I owe much to a Miqo'te I met on my travels. He was a master of these techniques, and kindly agreed to teach me the fundamentals.” She finished stretching, and picked up the crystal blade that Urianger had given her just before we left for Doma.

“I never could warm to common rapiers. I vastly preferred using a blade of my own creation, despite the toll it took on me.” She raised her eyes from the blade to look at me, and smiled again. “Urianger's gift was a gods-send, to be honest.”

“Have you had word from him?” I asked.

“Oh, not at all.” She seemed surprised at the very idea, then shook her head. “Well, surely he can get in touch with Tataru if he wants an update on all of us here. And he has much to occupy him, after all – still keeping watch over the beast tribes for any hint of primal activity, and all the rest.”

“That's true.” I shrugged. “Well, what's next on your to-do list?”

“Bathing,” she said with a small chuckle. “I've completed my last patrol for today. The other adventurers that came back from the Steppe have made themselves more than useful. I've been offered the chance to get a real, hot bath, so I'm going to take advantage of that while I can.”

“Sounds like a very good plan,” I smiled. “I'll see you later, then.”


	46. Eat, Drink, and Be Merry

There was a party, of course.

Nothing like the wild night before the Nadaam – though I was just as glad that the Domans were too straight-laced for that kind of thing. Instead, all the adventurers who'd shown up to join our efforts, plus many of the Domans, sat around on whatever they could press into service as chairs and tables. Some of them were playing mahjong, a few had out their Triple Triad decks – a game I had never quite unraveled. Hien and Gosetsu were off to one side, with several sake bottles between them.

“Getting drunk the night before a battle?” I asked, joking.

“The plan is set, and all that can be done has been done,” Gosetsu answered, with a very serious expression. “Rest and relaxation are now paramount, for tomorrow we may die.” He knocked back what was left in the bottle in his hand, and I realized that – serious expression or not – he was already fairly inebriated.

Hien poured another cup of sake, and held it out to me, even as Gosetsu spoke again.

“Have you too not done enough? Will you not pause a moment to gather yourself on the eve of our grand design? Go not unto battle with weary eyes or lingering regrets, my friend.” He nodded, gravely, as if imparting timeless wisdom. “Ere you go to war, savor peace, for you may never know it again.”

 _Given what's at stake tomorrow...actually, not half bad advice. That was why I was meditating in the sea, after all_.

I took the sake cup, and sat down with the two men.

I drank, and listened, as they spoke about this and that. But I didn't stay for long, not least because I saw Lyse waving to me from across the cavern. However, by that point, Yugiri had joined in – and Felina, the blond Miqote bard, was walking over, clearly intent on getting a bit of sake for herself. I got up, and let her take my spot.

Then I walked over to Lyse.

“They told me to get some sleep,” she smiled. “So I'm passing on the sentiment.”

“I might head to bed soon, yeah.” I shrugged a little, but I walked with her out of the noise of the cavern and into the dimmer, quieter space where the aetheryte hung.

“Not long now, eh?” she murmured. “I'm nervous, of course, but I also feel like...” She paused and hugged herself. “Like I didn't know where I was going, but maybe, finally...something's going to change.” She looked at me. “Really change, you know? And when the dust has settled, we'll see what we've won...and what we've lost.”

I swallowed, and set my hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently.

“I'm going to give it my all tomorrow,” she told me, her eyes resolute. “Everything I've seen and felt...I won't let it be for nothing.”

“Good.” Then I pulled her into a brief hug.

She hugged me back, and then stepped away, pretending not to sniffle. “Right. Off to bed then! Don't want to overdo it...and neither should you.”

She turned to go, then looked over her shoulder. “Before you sleep – you should look in on Alphinaud and Alisaie.” Her eyes twinkled. “Quietly, of course.”

I gave her a questioning look, but she just waved, and walked off towards the barracks.

Alphinaud's table had been tucked into a corner of the big main cavern, and I wandered back in, avoiding the pockets of conversation on my way across the room.

But when I got to where I could see them, I couldn't help but grin.

Alisaie was leaning against Alphinaud's shoulder, quite asleep – and Alphinaud had dozed off too, sitting with his hands on his knees and his head bent. _Oh, gods, they look so – so_ _ **cute**_ _– and they'd both kill me if I said it._ I held in a giggle.

I came closer, not wanting to wake them and yet knowing that they couldn't just stay like that until morning. Their necks would be screaming with pain if I let them alone. But...

From the table where Hien was drinking, a burst of raucous laughter rang out.

Alphinaud twitched, and his head lifted.

He saw me, and his expression was – just as I had expected – mortified.

“Sh.” I held a finger over my lips. “Maybe we ought to find a quieter spot, hm?”

I could see how sleepy he was, but after a moment, he nodded.

“Should I carry her?” I whispered.

But even as he shook his head, Alisaie mumbled. “Try it, and I'll stab you.”

I choked down my laughter, and let the two of them get up on their own.

Then I led them out of the main cavern, towards the cave where Lyse and Alisaie and I had put our bedrolls.

Lyse wasn't there, and neither was her bedroll – but my own gear was there. I sat down on my bedroll, not bothering even to take off my boots.

When Alphinaud started to turn away, I reached out and caught his wrist. He looked at me, and I tugged him closer.

“Stay,” I said. “Please.”

Alisaie was pushing her bedroll with one foot, shoving it closer to mine. I glanced at her, then back at Alphinaud. I saw tension go out of his shoulders as he watched her lie down, fully clothed.

Gently I tugged his hand again, and this time he didn't resist.

None of us spoke, after that. Alisaie and I both lay down, and Alphinaud tucked himself next to me as soon as I stopped moving around. I was on my back, with one arm across my belly and my other arm tucked underneath my head. Alisaie's head was on my shoulder, her hands folded against her chest and her legs curled up. On my other side, Alphinaud's back pressed against me as he pillowed his head on my bicep.

I felt comfortable, with two warm bodies on either side of me. Alisaie was still almost instantly – I wondered if she had really woken up at all. Alphinaud seemed to have a little more trouble falling back asleep. I could feel him shifting, fidgeting. After a minute or so, I turned my head, and adjusted myself enough to be able to press my lips to his hair.

His breath caught, and then he sighed.

I brought my arm down, and around a little – not quite embracing him. When I felt his fingers tangle with mine, I smiled into the dark.

He grew still, and I let myself drift off too.

I woke up alone.

I got to my feet, and glanced around. Alisaie's bedroll was gone. I wondered how long ago the two of them had woken up, but then sighed and made myself pack up. A lot of my stuff was going to stay here, but there was no point in leaving it scattered about.

I came out into the main cavern to see Hien standing in the center of a swirl of motion. People were moving out, and smartly too. I saw the back of Lyse's head as she led her group into the tunnel that would take them out, past Namai. They'd be the ones to start everything off, so they needed to be in place first.

There was a touch on my arm.

I turned, and smiled to see Alphinaud. He handed me a little basket woven of green leaves, and then hid a yawn behind his hand. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” I answered. The basket held three onigiri, and I made quick work of them, staying out of the flow of traffic with my back pressed against the cavern wall. Alphinaud leaned beside me, clearly still waking up.

“I trust you slept well─or at least better than I did,” he murmured. Then, he gave me a sly sideways glance. “Alisaie is faring rather less well than either of us, but she will be fine, I am sure─so long as you do not remind her of what you saw.”

I grinned and finished my last bite of breakfast. “Me? I saw nothing.”

He chuckled quietly, and then the two of us straightened and headed for Hien.

“Ah, there you are,” he greeted us. “We received confirmation from the Kojin not long ago. Their sappers stand at the ready and await our signal. Let us not keep them and the others waiting.”

I tapped the axe blade riding above my shoulder. “I'm ready when you are, oh prince.”

He grinned. Then he turned to Alphinaud.

“Alphinaud─instruct Lyse and the others to move into position and launch their attack. Our scouts report no change in the imperials' disposition, but I would leave nothing to chance. We must act quickly, lest we lose the element of surprise.”

The scholar nodded. “Understood. I will relay your orders to her and rejoin my unit.”

I felt his hand on my arm, a subtle touch, a gentle squeeze that no one else would know about.

“Gosetsu and Yugiri await the two of you at Monzen,” he told Hien. “Good luck, my friends. I will see you both again soon.”

There was no more discussion then; just a swirl of bodies, a quiet swift chaos as everyone started moving out. The sky was dim as the three of us stepped out of the tunnel – the sun was not yet over the cliffs. Out on the Steppe it was already full dawn, but here in this valley, twilight clung, stubborn and yet ephemeral, like the thin fog that hugged the ground.

Alphinaud veered off to join his group. The two dozen or so others – some soldiers, two or three of the adventurers, and one of the lupin villagers – formed up around Hien and me, in a loose guard formation. Hien bent his head, listening to one of the soldiers, and I scanned the valley and the road before us.

I saw the shinobi for all of a minute before they vanished beyond some rocks.

Hien started moving, and as we had done yesterday, we strode towards Monzen – not strolling, but not running either. It took mere minutes to reach the spot where the main part of our forces waited for us – a space with crumbled walls on three sides and a good view of Doma Castle. The machina had all been cleared, and Gosetsu stood, arms crossed, gazing at the castle with a frown pinching his face.

We stopped beside him, and I saw Yugiri a few yards away, head cocked, listening to a link-pearl.

Hien blew out a breath, and took up a stance not unlike Gosetsu's. “And now we wait...”

We did not have to wait long.

From here, we couldn't actually hear the fighting at Fluminis; but Yugiri signaled to Hien and I knew they had begun their attack.

Around us, the soldiers and adventurers leaned up against broken walls and larger pieces of masonry, resting, letting the dawn sunlight warm them.

There was a scrubby tree growing against the wall to the east. Its shadow crept across the weeds, as the sun rose higher and higher.

The fog began to burn away, leaving only ghosts of itself out across the water.

We saw vessels leaving the castle; since most of us were tucked against walls and such, there was little chance that we'd be seen. Hien's eyes tracked their movement, but he didn't move a muscle.

In moments, the aerial units were engaged as a storm-cloud of wings descended on them. The warriors of the Steppe had arrived.

Below, we waited.

For an instant I thought I saw something – _many_ somethings – moving fast in the river.

I glanced at Yugiri, in time to catch her touching her link-pearl. She looked up at Hien and nodded twice.

The Gates were under attack now. I clamped down on the urge to turn west and look at them. I wouldn't be able to see the combat there anyway, and I had to trust in the shinobi, and Alisaie, and Alphinaud. They knew what they were doing. They were competent, courageous. They were going to be fine. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from thinking about it.

Then I heard the rumbling.

The river _shivered_.

Everyone sat up straight when they heard the explosion. Perhaps only I realized it wasn't the first or second – it was the third one – but it didn't matter, because the cliff wall behind Doma Castle shattered, and then part of the outer wall collapsed, and then all hell broke loose over there.

Alarms screeched, machinery roared, metal screamed as it was torn apart by huge boulders and pieces of wall. Something exploded into a fireball, followed by a rapid succession of short sharp bursts of fire and sound. Then, incredibly, an entire wing of the castle just – _disintegrated_.

Gosetsu swore, but Hien nodded, looking both grim and satisfied.

“It is time,” the prince said, his voice carrying over the growing noise.

No one had to be told twice. We moved.

The plan was in full motion. Yotsuyu would be fleeing to the highest ground she could, which had to mean the top floors of the castle. Her aerial forces were fully engaged, most of her troops were either committed to the fight at Fluminis or were scrambling for their lives in a cascade of deadly water and deadlier rubble...she could not run away, she could only stand and try to fight, and if everything went to plan...

I heard a colossal hissing sound, and glanced over my shoulder in time to see the magitek fields across the Moon Gates flicker and go out – and the first sails of the Confederacy fleet paraded through, just as if they owned the whole river.

Small Garlean skiffs raced towards the ships – and then I saw the Kojin, for the first time, in _real_ battle.

Figures leaped from the water and swarmed the small skiffs. I could hear shrieks of pain and fear, mixing with the screeches of enraged yols and the bloodcurdling battle cries from the warriors above us. Even as I watched, a skiff went down in three breaths, its hull cracked and dragged under, the dozen Garlean troops aboard swiftly slain.

The other skiffs weren't blind to what was happening.

By now Hien was leading all of us – sprinting down to the water's edge and along the bank towards the Kojin sloops that would take us to the now-shattered castle wall, and let us get in.

The Garlean skiffs tried to break, to retreat.

By the time we reached our boats, every single one of the Garlean vessels was gone.

The Confederacy fleet sailed toward the enclave, utterly unopposed.

Hien leaped into the first skiff, with me and Gosetsu on his heels. Yugiri took the next one, and all the others crowded on any way they could.

I glanced with concern at the sole Kojin sitting at the tiller of our skiff, but he gave me a cheerful wave. “Hang on!” And he slapped the water.

On one of the other boats, I heard someone whoop, a wild shout of startled excitement. All the skiffs went from simply floating to racing, all in an instant.

The Kojin who sat at the tiller wasn't doing a damn thing but steering a little – but in the water ahead of the sloop I could see now, half a dozen more of the shell-backed warriors, with ropes in hand. _Halone's frozen tits, they're fucking_ _ **towing**_ _us there!_

But I saw, when we got close to the castle wall, that nothing else would have gotten us where we needed to go.

The waters were churning, and only the fact that we had those underwater warriors kept us afloat and unharmed and still moving toward the castle. The river was not just flowing _in_ , the water from the falls was flowing _out_ at the same time – it was a plain miracle that the Kojin could get us to a spot stable enough to serve as a docking-point. As it was, they had to struggle to keep the boats from being torn away again by the rip-currents.

But the instant the last of us had leaped onto the stones, the Kojin zipped away. “Good hunting!” called the one that had steered our sloop. “Soroban will await you at the Monzen dock!”

Hien waved to him in acknowledgment. Then he turned to me. “Now, we deal with Yotsuyu.”

Gosetsu's sword was already out, and his expression was terrifying.

I readied my axe and nodded once.

“Let's go.”


	47. You Paid for This View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: somewhat graphic discussion of broken bones. Also, feels ahead.

The castle was gone.

My axe was gone.

Gosetsu was gone.

We were back in the ruins of Monzen, where we had assembled before. Cirina, Lyse, and both of the twins waited for us there. They had finished their missions once the Imperial forces had routed. Yugiri and Soroban helped me off the skiff and over to one of the walls. Lyse stared at all of us, her brows knit with concern and confusion.

“What happened in there?” she demanded. “Where is Gosetsu?”

Hien turned away, to stare at the slowly disintegrating castle. It was a devastating view – and one we had paid far too high a price to see.

Yugiri answered, her words clipped, emotionless. Only her eyes showed her anguish as she told the others how Yotsuyu had made one final attempt to kill us all – and how Gosetsu had fallen to save us.

There were tears on Cirina's cheeks. Alisaie covered her mouth, and then turned away.

Alphinaud's eyes shut for an instant, and then he opened them again, and nodded once. “I see.” He took a long breath. “The occupation is ended, then. And the people must be informed of our victory.” He met Yugiri's eyes with an expression of determination. “But I will not simply give up Gosetsu for lost. Before aught else, we must needs search the ruins.”

I frowned at him. “Not by yourself, you're not,” I began, and then broke off at the glare he shot me. I pressed my back against the wall, cradling my arm, and looked away from him. My eyes fixed on Hien.

Into the quiet, Soroban spoke.

“Allow me, my friends. The castle is still collapsing into the river, and could easily drag you to your deaths. I can navigate the waters easily, without fear of drowning.”

Alisaie spoke. “Be reasonable, brother. You know he is right.”

Alphinaud nodded to Soroban, and the Kojin headed off.

Alisaie, Yugiri, and Lyse stepped away, murmuring. Cirina covered her face with her hands.

Alphinaud came to stand in front of me. I didn't look at him. “You are hurt,” he said. “Will you let me tend to your wound?”

With a nod, I let him examine my arm.

Hien just stood there, looking out at the ruins that yet crumbled and smoked, and was silent.

Alphinaud's hands worked swiftly and as gently as he could, his magic flowing into Berylla's arm. She looked away from him, her expression unreadable, not least because of the fact that her right eye was swollen shut. He could see the tears on her cheeks. The entire right side of her face and upper body was badly bruised. But her arm was his chief concern – the bones in the forearm were broken.

The break was a bad one: the bones had not simply snapped, they had been shattered. He could not set it properly here; all he could do was ease the pain a little, and nudge fragments of bone into slightly better alignment. He stepped away from her to search for any sort of usable material for a sling.

His sister noticed him, and silently joined his brief search. After a minute or two, they had found a pair of branches that would do for now. Without speaking, Alisaie held out a length of black silk to him – her own scarf. He took it with a small nod.

Both of them came back to Berylla, and his sister noted the glassy look in the warrior's good eye. “She's in shock,” Alisaie murmured.

“Yes. We may need to watch over her. I am not certain...” He stopped himself. This was not the time to admit that he had never seen Berylla in a state quite like this. She bounced back from mere physical injury and shock as if it were nothing, healing with preternatural speed. Emotional shock, on the other hand... He well remembered how she had been, after the losses at the Reach. Her injuries had been severe then, and yet she had struggled far more with her feelings.

He reminded himself yet again that they had won. They had achieved their goal: Doma was free once more. But the victory left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He did not want to think about how heavily they had paid for that prize.

He set about making a basic splint for Berylla's arm.

Alphinaud tugged on my arm, putting it into a splint. I wanted to black out from the pain; but I didn't. I bit my lip until I tasted blood, as he bound my arm up and put it in a makeshift sling.

Soroban returned, still dripping river water. Alphinaud and Yugiri joined Hien to listen to the Kojin's report. Alisaie stayed beside me. I vaguely heard Lyse say something about going to the docks, heard Cirina mention telling Magnai and Sadu of what had happened. I watched her go to Hien and speak quietly, saw him say something to her that made her sniffle and nod.

Alisaie touched my left shoulder, and her voice was very soft as she spoke. “I wish I knew what to say, but I've never had my brother's way with words.” Her fingers trembled. “It's...what he would have wanted?”

I looked at her for an instant, and she recoiled, her hand leaving my shoulder. “I-I'm sorry. This is not helping.”

All I could do was shake my head. My mind felt like it was dragging through mud, and words wouldn't come. There was only the pain, inside and out. The shame that wouldn't let me go.

 _I failed again. Another man died to save my sorry hide_.

I kept playing it over and over in my head, as if I could force time to reverse and let me change what had happened. _I should have been the one that stayed, it should have been me_...

I heard Soroban speaking and looked over at where the Kojin stood beside Hien.

“Naught remained of the keep for me to search. Undermined from below and shaken from above, the manner of its collapse was most unusual. If the floor beneath him gave way before the rest...it is not impossible that he could have been sent tumbling into the river.” I saw the way his shoulders slumped. “But the water is thick with silt and debris. Despite my best efforts, I could not find him. I am sorry.”

Hien murmured something to him, setting one hand on the Kojin's shoulder. Then he turned and walked away from the river's edge. His voice was louder as he addressed us all.

“The castle is in ruins, and the people are eager to learn the fate of their nation. We leave at once.” He took a long breath. “The day is won, and the morrow beckons... It falls to us to greet it.”

Lyse spoke up, having just come back. “It seems Tansui was on his way as soon as he saw you flee the keep.”

Alphinaud nodded once. “Then, our Confederate allies have already set about ferrying the others to the Doman Enclave. By the time we arrive, all should be present and waiting.”

Hien gestured, and Lyse and Yugiri and Cirina all walked away. Soroban headed back to the river, probably because he had a boat there already, my mind noted in an absent way. But Hien looked back one more time at what remained of the castle.

Alphinaud touched my good arm. “We must get you to a proper infirmary,” he began to say, but his voice trailed off as I straightened up and staggered towards Hien.

“Hien,” I croaked. “I'm so sor – ”

“Don't.”

I winced at the way his voice trembled.

“He would not want weeping and wailing,” the prince said, in a flat, dull tone. “He was a proud warrior of Doma, loyal and true to the end. Do not – ” He choked. When he spoke again, his voice was terrible with suppressed emotions. “Do not dishonor him with tears.”

Eventually we got ourselves sorted out, the wounded ferried over to the enclave, beds found for everyone. Hien made a a small speech, since it was plainly expected of him.

I barely heard him, standing there in a haze of pain.

Only when Alphinaud and Alisaie began to tug gently at me did I realize the crowd was breaking up. Folks were gathering in little knots of conversation – some cheerful, some not so cheerful. I heard one of the soldiers, his voice trembling with emotion. “I want to shout and scream until my throat is hoarse. I want my fallen brothers and sisters to know that it was not in vain!”

I wanted to shout and scream, too, but I couldn't make a sound.

Someone I couldn't see began to play quiet music. Life was going to go on, and the people were going to be all right. For an instant I wished I could be somewhere else. Anywhere but here, where people were looking my way with gratitude in their eyes. I didn't want their gratitude, I didn't deserve any of it. Their joy hurt me.

Hien turned and headed into the largest building – what now would function, I supposed, as his residence. The twins led me after him, and inside.

Once the door closed, Hien turned to face us, his face haggard and weary. “Celebrations are in order,” he said, “but for tonight...any such rejoicing will be muted at best.”

Alisaie nodded. “We are all a little tired.” I saw how she glanced at me. Worried.

Hien touched my good shoulder, and when I met his eyes, I saw only compassion there. “Rest,” he said. “Your tasks are done for tonight, Warrior of Light.”

I nodded once. Then I let the twins lead me away.

I heard them murmuring, heard words like “shock” and “make her rest.” The muddy feeling in my head was worse now, and my whole body had begun to throb with pain. Every step woke new agony from my arm.

I came back to myself in a sleeping room, with a very large futon in the middle. A low stool was beside me. A pair of Doman men, in black yukata, stood with Alphinaud near the door.

I must be losing time. Definitely in shock. Blanking out.

Alisaie was pressing a sake cup into my hand.

“Drink.”

I looked at her for a moment, then at the cup. Then, moving like a rusty mammet, I put the cup to my lips and chugged the liquid inside.

My eyes watered, and I coughed. _That wasn't sake_.

At the sound of my cough, Alphinaud looked over at me, and nodded to the two Domans.

“Sit,” Alisaie ordered quietly, and then helped me down onto the stool. She knelt, with my good hand in hers, bracing herself against my back.

The Domans had lengths of wood and strips of cloth. Alphinaud knelt in front of me and took my arm out of the sling and the temporary splint. I tried to steel myself, knowing what was coming next.

He pulled on my arm. I could _feel_ the bones aligning, a sickening, grating sensation.

“Hold hard to me, Berylla.” Alisaie's body behind my shoulder was firm, solid; her voice anchored me through the waves of black and red pain. I fell against her, gasping.

“Son of a _bitch!_ ”

I panted, and Alisaie held me, and the next thing I knew Alphinaud was binding my arm with meticulous care, and my head was swimming from whatever potion Alisaie had fed me.

I blanked out again, and came back to myself feeling cool, and strangely numb. A thought floated into my head: _the stuff Alisaie made me drink was probably painkiller, or sedative. Maybe both._

I looked down at my body. I was wearing loose silk sleeping clothes – a tunic and short trousers. Alisaie was wearing similar clothes. She had to have helped me change, but I couldn't remember a thing.

“Lay down.”

I obeyed her, and only noticed when I was flat on my back that there were far more cushions on the bed than normal.

Then, she was kneeling beside me, positioning some of the cushions around my shoulder and arm. I turned my head to look at her, blinking away the tears. I only felt numb physically. My heart still ached.

I heard soft footsteps, and the room grew dim. Alisaie lay down, taking a couple of cushions for herself. She shifted, getting comfortable, while still being careful of me and my arm. Then I felt a presence on my left side, and looked over.

Alphinaud set a small flat lantern on the floor beside the futon, then went to his knees on the bed. He too was wearing sleeping clothes. His eyes had dark circles under them, and he moved stiffly, as if he were sore. I reached for him with my good hand, and he tangled his fingers with mine.

He petted my hair a little, and gave me a reassuring smile.

Then, he lay down, with his back towards me, and blew out the light.

I lay in the darkness, and let the tears slide down my face.

_If I had been faster, maybe I could have got under that wall instead. Or helped. Or if I had been better at my gods damned job... I should have killed that bitch where she lay, and let Hien be angry with me for not showing her mercy. You don't offer your hand to a rabid dog, dammit, you end its misery and remove the threat to you and yours._

Part of me knew good and damn well that there wasn't really anything I could have done differently. That part of me pointed out, again, how my axe was probably buried under the rubble just like Gosetsu was. Yotsuyu had to be dead too. I had done my job, done what was _necessary_. Taking the decision to kill her out of Hien's hands was no way to foster Doma into true independence.

I remembered how Hien and Gosetsu had laughed together on the Steppe. How they had talked over sake, just last night. Gosetsu had been more than a retainer, more than a general, more than a friend. He had been all the family that Hien had left, even if they had no blood shared between them.

 _Why?_ I sniffled, whining to myself. _Why, why, why do so many have to pay such a heavy price? Why does making things right always make things worse instead? Why must we fight so hard to exist in peace?_

The rational side of me shot _that_ down, too. It had always been like this. It always would be, probably. People were complicated, often short sighted, and greedy, and thoughtless, and frequently hateful. They had fears and vices and they did not resist temptation terribly well. I sure as hell hadn't put up much of fight against some of my own vices and temptations, now had I? Aphrodisiac or not, what I had done the night before the Nadaam had been giving in to temptation.

Some folks believed the Warriors of Light were “good;” that goodness was why Hydaelyn granted them special powers. _But I know how awful I really am. How can I expect better from the world at large?_

It didn't matter. No matter how vile their crimes...they weren't any less deserving of Hydaelyn's protection. The bad folks and the good folks and the middling folks – all of them were Her children. All of them were in my charge, I was supposed to be their _protector_.

What did it say about me, that I so frequently failed to protect the ones closest to me?

The potion had numbed my body, and at last, it hazed my brain. I tumbled gratefully into sleep.

_Blackness enveloped me. I could smell ceruleum and oil and machinery, heard it clanging and clattering in a regular rhythm. I did not know where I was, but I knew I was trapped, trapped in a space too small for me and the bodies around me. The stink of fear made me want to vomit._

_Voices spoke, muffled but clear._

_“The formula is perfect. We should be able to begin full scale production soon, Your Radiance.”_

_“Good. You gathered the research assistants?”_

_“Yes, Your Radiance, they are sedated in the main chamber. Just there, as you can see. I also made copies of all their notes and reports. Everything is documented and archived. The new facility is ready for your signal.”_

_“Burn it all. Leave nothing for our foes to salvage.”_

_“As you command.”_

_I understood then, and I began to scream._

_Explosions thundered around me. Flames embraced my body, and I could hear a dozen voices shrieking in agony alongside my own._

I woke with a yell.

Alisaie was sitting up, shaking my good shoulder, her eyes wide. “Berylla! _Berylla!_ ”

I blinked up at her, gasping, my heart racing. _A dream, just a dream,_ _ **just a dream – !**_

My mouth moved, but no sound came out. I coughed a little, wincing as the motion disturbed my arm. “S-s-sorry. Bad dream.”

“I see that.” She let go of my shoulder.

On the other side of me, Alphinaud shifted closer. His hand rested on my belly, and magic bloomed around his fingers. A taste of honeysuckle seemed to bloom in my mouth, and a tingling feeling swept across me. I sighed, gratefully, as the pain of my jarred arm faded. So did the breathless fear from my nightmare.

Alisaie was adjusting cushions, and I watched in bemusement as she propped my arm up in a way that let her lie closer to me. Alphinaud's head was on my arm, his spell completed, nearly asleep again already.

“Is this all right?” she asked me, as she rested her head on my shoulder.

“Yeah, but...you don't have to...”

“I know that. We both know that. But you shouldn't be alone right now.” She shut her eyes, her hand laying on my stomach now. Alphinaud's fingers tangled with hers.

“None of us needs to be alone tonight,” he mumbled, even as he snuggled just a little closer.

Exhaustion swelled over me again as the last shreds of nightmare faded away.

_Well. He's right. Being alone would make everything so much worse._


	48. Moving On

Morning was hell.

But it was a bearable kind of hell, the kind of hell you'd expect when you have a busted arm and a full bladder. Fortunately, Alisaie was still in the room, and helped me without comment. She left me to dress on my own, though I could see she wasn't sure I could manage.

Getting dressed took _forever_. I snarled after the sixth attempt to get my boots on failed, and left them where they lay. I'd ask for help later. Maybe. _Everyone goes barefoot inside houses here anyway_.

By the time I finally came out from behind the wooden screen, Alisaie was gone. Alphinaud was waiting for me, sitting on his knees in the Doman style next to that same low stool where he'd bound up my arm last night. I didn't try to argue with him when he pointed firmly at the stool.

Alphinaud was glad to see the irritation on Berylla's face, the way she almost stomped as she came to sit before him. For her to be fractious was much better than the quiet, glassy-eyed automaton she had been last night. He had insisted on Alisaie and himself both remaining with the warrior not only for comfort, but for Berylla's safety.

He had seen her grieve, he had listened to her blame herself for the loss of friends. But something about how _silent_ she had been... It had given him a queasy anxiety that she might do herself some kind of harm. Just because she never had before, did not guarantee she would not break this time under the weight of what had happened, of who and what she was.

He thanked the Twelve that she appeared to be far too annoyed to consider hurting herself this morning.

Berylla glared at her arm even as Alphinaud examined it. When his fingers began to glow with healing magic, he looked up at her. “Even you have to have time to rest and heal,” he told her.

Her mouth pursed, then she tried to smile at him. “Sorry. I'm cranky this morning.”

“A most reasonable attitude given your injuries.” He allowed his spell to spread outward from her arm, providing a little more relief from the pain she must surely be in.

If he had not seen her with his own eyes, examined her with his skills, yesterday...if he did not _know_ that she had nearly been crushed beneath a falling wall... He could believe she had merely taken a tumble. Much of her bruising had faded already, greenish now where she had been literally black and blue. He could see where the deeper bruises were by the darker color of her skin. Even her arm was healing with what he had come to understand as normal speed – for her. Bone fragments that had been shattered – fragments that he had painstakingly aligned whilst binding her arm in the cast she now wore – were already fused, but the joins were yet brittle. Her arm was still certainly _broken_ : but it looked as if it had been healing for a week already.

“You are in very good condition, everything considered.”

She snorted. “I shouldn't even be alive, yeah.” But there was an edge to the words, beneath her attempt at humor.

Alphinaud stopped his spell and leaned up, cupping her face in his hands. “Don't,” he murmured. “Don't be hateful to yourself, Berylla. I know...” he swallowed, seeing the grief in her eyes. “I know how you feel. I remember the banquet. You did not allow me to give in to despair then.” He rested his forehead against hers. “Perhaps it is selfish of me, but I am very glad it was _not_ you...”

He faltered, and his hands shook. Berylla reached up with her good hand, and pressed him into an awkward hug. He lay his cheek on her shoulder and embraced her with delicate care for her bruises.

I shuddered, trying not to cry. Alphinaud's hands tightened on me just a little. “Please,” he whispered. “Cry, if that is what you need. Let me help you in some small way.”

It _hurt_ to cry. I didn't want to _gods-damned_ _ **cry**_ _anymore_ – 

Despite myself, I broke. I clung to him with my good arm, and he sat up to hold me. I couldn't stop the tears streaming down my face, couldn't speak. My right shoulder ached sharply when I hiccuped.

I tried to pull away, but Alphinaud wouldn't let me go.

He held her close, tears on his own cheeks. How he wished he could find the words that would truly comfort her. But he had none, not this time. He had only the overwhelming relief that she was alive. Losing Gosetsu stung bitterly. But losing _Berylla_...? No, it was not a thought he could bear to entertain.

Too soon, however, she had forced down her sobs, had bottled her feelings up and hidden them once more. Alphinaud released her slowly, and gave her his handkerchief. While she patted at her face with the white square of cloth, he cast about for something else to focus on, lest he give in to his urge to simply wrap her in his arms once more and _never_ let go.

It was then that he noticed her bare feet.

I couldn't scrub at my face – for all the fast healing my Blessing gave me, it wasn't quite up to the level of damage I had suffered. I was sore as all hell, even not counting the arm. But, the cloth Alphinaud gave me was soft enough that it didn't hurt as much to blot the tears off my cheeks. I started to give it back to him, but he folded my hand around it.

“Do you want some help with your boots?” he asked me.

I sighed, shoving down the humiliation. It just wasn't possible for me to get them on with only one working hand. “Please.”

He got up and fetched the boots, and brought them over. He didn't speak as he helped me get the boots on, a feat partly accomplished by unlacing them halfway so that we didn't have to try jamming my foot into the boot.

He still didn't say anything while he carefully – far more carefully than I would have done – re-laced and then tied them. It was a good silence, not a tense one; I was glad of it.

I cradled my arm and watched him. Seeing him on his knees before me was making me have thoughts that I had no business thinking. _You're impossible, Berylla. Half dead, busted arm, and you're still this horny? Ridiculous._

When he finished with my boots, he sat on his heels and looked up at me. The smile he offered made me want to burrow into his arms and never come out again. Instead, I straightened my back and used my good arm to push myself up, off the stool, until I was standing.

Alphinaud stood up as well; his hands twitched as if he wanted to reach out and steady me, and I concentrated on not swaying.

“Where is everyone else?” I asked him.

“In the main room, by now,” he answered. “I was given to understand this morning that the official festivities will begin at sunset.”

I frowned. “How long was I out? Did I sleep a whole day again?”

“No,” he soothed. “You merely slept the night. It is perhaps mid-morning now.”

I eyed him. “You were up early then.”

He looked away, and then shrugged. “I had a little trouble sleeping. Worry not about me, I am fine.”

I squinted at him, but I didn't quibble. After a moment I said, “I guess we should go join the others, then.”

“Indeed.” He opened the sliding door, and gestured for me to precede him.

The main room was not as full of people as I might have expected. Hien and Yugiri, and then Lyse and Alisaie – there was a lot of empty space around the table. Another low stool had been placed, and I sank down onto it, gratefully. Even the brief walk from the sleeping-rooms to here had been far more tiring than it should have been. Then again, I _had_ survived having part of a castle dropped on me. I snorted, mentally. _Like he said, I'm in very good shape all things considered_.

Whatever conversation had been going on when we came in resumed once I was sitting. Alphinaud passed me onigiri on a plate, and then began peeling a persimmon, splitting the fruit between my plate and his own.

Lyse was talking – clearly finishing a thought. “I'm glad we could be a part of it. That we could see with our own eyes that things can change if people have the courage to stand up and fight.”

Hien smiled at her. “Without the Scions' help, my people might never have rediscovered their own courage. I thank you all. You will ever be cherished friends of Doma.” He looked over at me, then.

I stuffed half an onigiri into my mouth, so that I had an excuse not to talk.

Hien's eyes crinkled as he held in a laugh. Alisaie tried, but failed to completely disguise her snickering as a cough. But my tactic worked: Hien didn't ask me anything, instead turning to Yugiri and starting a discussion of which tasks were the most urgent for the day.

I was still working my way through the food Alphinaud kept putting in front of me, when someone came in and murmured to Hien.

He looked at all of us. “I must attend to business,” he told us, “but please, make free of all that my household has to offer. I will see you all anon.”

He rose, and so did Yugiri. Both of them bowed, and then left the room.

I took one last piece of persimmon, but I pushed the plate away from me. I was a little surprised that Alphinaud didn't comment – even though I had been steadily eating for a good twenty minutes, I hadn't taken even half as much food as I usually did. But the pain was making me nauseated by this point and I just couldn't manage more.

It wasn't until I glanced around the table at the others that I realized just how much _he_ had eaten – and I suspected Alisaie had put away a similar amount of food. I recalled hearing that Elezen growth spurts were...extreme. _So I'm really not imagining it, he's growing in height really fast. Both of them are. Huh. Tataru's going to have to do something about their clothes soon, I bet_.

But such minor details were clearly not on Alisaie's mind. “We journeyed here from the opposite side of the world, but until now, it didn't seem half as far.” She sighed. “I think that means our work here is done.”

Lyse nodded, as did Alphinaud, both of them with thoughtful looks on their faces.

I kept my mouth shut. It was all I could do to stay silent and seated. Alisaie's words made me want to get up, to jump into whatever ship would take us and just get the hell out of Doma. _Get me away from all these people who look at me as if I am some kind of savior. I haven't been a hero to them at all. They should hate me or fear me or ignore me... I can't stand all this_ _ **gratitude**_ _._

But when Lyse got up, so did I. “I packed yesterday,” I said, managing to sound calm and casual and not desperate to get going.

“As did we all,” Alisaie nodded. “I shall go make arrangements for our things to be brought to the docks.” She leveled a stern look at me. “You aren't carrying your own pack.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “I have a whole other arm I could use...” I saw Alphinaud's mouth opening and sighed again. “But fine. Have it your way.”

There really wasn't much else to do. Lyse and Alphinaud walked with me, and we headed for the docks. The enclave was quiet, but it was obvious that there was a lot to be done to set the place to rights. The place wasn't as destroyed as Ishgard had been – not really a surprise given that Ishgard had been at war a hell of a lot longer than Doma or even the Empire. But it was still going to take a long time and a massive effort for the people of Doma to rebuild.

Hien's words came back to me. “So long as we live, we can rebuild.”

Grief punched me in the gut again. Gosetsu would never see the new Doma. But he had gone down knowing that we had won...maybe that had been comfort enough for him.

_Gods, I hope so_.

Alphinaud spoke as we walked. “Are you quite certain you would not prefer to stay awhile longer? There are going to be festivities, after all.” He glanced at me. “Festivities at which you would be the guest of honor, like as not.”

I shook my head and looked away, trying not to curl my lip. I didn't want anyone to think that I hated Doma, or something like that. I didn't want them to know how much I hated myself right now. I didn't want to worry them, nor did I want to get lectured or coddled. I shoved and stomped and kicked my feelings down, down, down, hiding them under the so-useful facade of “Stoic Hero.”

Alphinaud gave a small sigh. “Very well. There are other ways in which we might celebrate─by rejoining the fight for freedom in Gyr Abania, for one.”

Lyse nodded. “I'm ready to get back.”

“Short though our time here has been, we have all come to regard this land and her people as our own, I think.” Alphinaud's voice was brisk rather than pensive. “We have done that which we came here to do. Word of Doma's liberation will soon spread throughout the Empire, and we must seize this opportunity to rekindle the fires of liberation in the West.”

I maybe shouldn't have been surprised, but I was anyway. Cirina and Soroban stood on the docks, talking with Tansui and Rasho of the Confederacy. Alisaie was there already, and porters were loading our packs onto the Confederacy ship.

Cirina came right up to us, her pretty eyes pinched with worry. “Did I hear right? You are leaving?”

Lyse squeezed the Xaela woman's shoulder. “I'm afraid so. We've got our own battle to fight. What about you? Will you be heading back to the Steppe?”

Cirina nodded. “Yes. The war here is ended, and there is no cause to remain. The Oronir and Dotharl have already withdrawn.” I saw a small blush creep across her cheeks, but her voice stayed calm. “I will follow them anon, but I wished to bid you farewell first.”

Soroban nodded. “The Blue, too, must return to their homes, but we will be back. Doma has need of merchants and builders, and we are eager to offer our services!”

Tansui piped up. “And just like that, our grand fellowship is broken? Without ceremony or pomp, you steal off into the dark?” I flinched away from his humor, and he let it go. “No matter. We have plenty to be getting on with.” He gave Alisaie a sly glance. “Places to be, people to rob, and so on. And the captain never was one for mingling.”

Rasho snorted. “I am a pirate. Give me a song at the tavern, and I will be happy. Hobnobbing with Lord Hien? Nay.”

Tansui gave a loud, affected sigh. “No taste for the finer things...”

The others chuckled, and then Tansui gave us a small bow. “In any event, we need not part ways here. If you are for Kugane, we would be happy to take you. Her waters have always been...fruitful.”

Alisaie sniffed at this last dig, and Tansui smirked, pleased to have gotten a reaction.

Cirina smiled, and gave us her deepest bow. “I wish you well on your journey, my friends. May you ever walk in crimson.”

Lyse smiled back, and then – impulsive as ever – stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Cirina's shoulders. “Thank you, Cirina. For everything.”

Cirina looked surprised, but very pleased, and hugged the blond monk back.

Soroban grinned. “May the kami speed you on your way! Until we meet again!”

Then, both of them walked off the docks, towards the Kienkan, presumably to meet with Hien once more. The people of the Steppe and the Kojin both would be instrumental in rebuilding Doma. I watched them go, and a little bit of my grief and my shame eroded away. _They're going to be all right_.

Alphinaud spoke, then. “We have said our good-byes. Though it be with heavy hearts, let us board the boat and begin our long journey home.”

I was the first one on the boat.

Lyse smiled as we came to a stop at the Short Pier in Kugane. “It's just as colorful as I remember...”

Alphinaud was smiling too. “In a way, this too feels like a homecoming. How long has it been since Carvallain brought us here...?”

 _Too long, and not half long enough_. But I stayed quiet, as I had the whole trip. It had taken quite some time to go all the way down the One River and then across the Ruby Sea; the sun was setting now and we had left the enclave at just about noon.

Lyse grabbed my pack and her own, and walked down the plank to the dock; Alisaie was on her heels. Alphinaud glanced at me, and I made a point of walking down the plank just as nimbly as Lyse had. It wasn't as if my legs were broken. Or my head.

Tansui accompanied us, and Alisaie turned towards him. “Best of luck to you and yours in your... piratical endeavors, I suppose.” The sarcasm in her words was more tart than persimmons.

The man grinned, and spoke to me, laughter lacing his words. “Do come and visit us again. It would be a shame if we never got to see you and the little miss again.”

I saw Alisaie's lips moving as she echoed “little miss” and had to repress a grin of my own at the flicker of outrage in her eyes. Tansui saw it too, and his grin only got wider.

Rasho spoke from the boat. “We must weigh anchor before the Sekiseigumi arrive.”

Tansui waved to him, and with a small touch on my good shoulder, he was gone.

The four of us started walking, even as the Confederacy boat began to shove off.

“I informed Tataru of our coming,” Alphinaud mentioned. “She and Hancock should be waiting for us in the Ruby Bazaar.”

And, so they were.

“Welcome back, everyone, and congratulations on a job well done!” Tataru's exuberant greeting was immediately tempered by concern when she saw my arm. “You didn't mention injuries, Alisaie?!”

The red mage's ears were pink. “I was very tired. I'm sorry.”

I waved my good hand. “I'm fine, or I will be soon,” I hastened to amend my words when Alphinaud glared at me. “We needed to get out of Doma though, and we really need to get back to Eorzea as fast as we can.”

“Well you can't teleport there, not in that state,” Tataru said. “And I have quite a lot to send back home anyway. So you'll be taking ship again. I have already chartered passage for you back to Limsa Lominsa.”

“Oh, good, when do we leave?”

“In four days.” She frowned at my noise of dismay. “You _could_ use a little more rest, Berylla. Besides, weren't you looking forward to trying more food here?”

I looked away, shaking my head, not able to respond to her teasing.

I let the others talk, then, trading pleasantries, until my head started to swim.

“Alphinaud...”

He looked over at me, and frowned, then nodded. “Right. Tataru, are all the sleeping chambers still in the same arrangement?”

“They are. Get some rest, Berylla.”

I waved vaguely, and walked towards the sleeping rooms, with Alphinaud at my elbow. I concentrated on every slow step, feeling more and more dizzy as I went. By the time Alphinaud was helping me down onto the bed, I was breathing a little heavily. My arm throbbed, waves of agony seeming to vibrate along all my bones.

He kept me sitting up for long enough to give me medicines, and to tug my boots off for me. Head reeling, I managed a breathy chuckle as he guided me down to lie flat. “Will you stay with me again? Even if it's not quite the way I thought we'd be in bed together.”

His cheeks went pink, and he shook his head. But he was smiling. “I think not. I gave you a sleeping potion. You shouldn't have nightmares, not tonight.”

I gripped his hand with my good one. “Thank you for taking care of me even when I'm being difficult.”

He squeezed back. “No thanks are necessary.”

I wanted to argue that point, but I was much too tired.

He stroked my hair with his free hand, and I sighed, pressing into the touch as much as I could manage.

“Do I get a good night kiss?”

He paused a moment, then leaned down. His lips were gentle against my left cheek. I turned my head and sought his mouth with mine, muttering, “I'm not _that_ badly hurt, dammit.”

The kiss was still a lot softer than I would have liked, and when he pulled back, I whined a little in my throat.

“Rest,” he told me sternly. Then he kissed my knuckles, and got up to leave.


	49. Investigations

Alphinaud returned to the others, just in time to hear Alisaie bring up the point that Berylla had missed. “Tataru, you can't mean to stay here?”

“I can and I do,” Tataru answered calmly. “I gave it some thought, and I realized that even with Doma free, there's still a need for a woman in the middle. Maybe even more than before, considering all the friends and alliances you made.”

Hancock grinned, gazing down at the Lalafellin woman. “As I told her many times before, I would be more than willing to assist you – ”

“And as I told _you_ many times before,” Tataru retorted, “I am not about to let you worm your way into our affairs and exploit our connections for your personal gain!”

The blond Uldahn sighed dramatically. “Must you always presume the worst?” But Alphinaud spotted the way he still smiled. For once, he found himself smiling back at the man.

“So there you have it,” Tataru said, turning back to the three Scions. “I will remain here for now. You needn't worry─I'm a regular at the hostelry and a half-dozen other local institutions. Everyone loves me!”

“Of course they do,” Lyse smiled. Then she brightened. “Hey, that means we can get a souvenir or two, doesn't it?”

Alisaie rolled her eyes. “It does,” she conceded, “but I think perhaps I shall spend the time simply resting.” She shot Alphinaud a look, which he pretended not to see.

“Perhaps I too will purchase a souvenir or two before we leave,” he said, but he was looking at Hancock as he did so. The blond merchant's eyebrow quirked, and he gave Alphinaud the barest nod. Message understood.

A servant came into the room, and bowed deeply. “Sir, honored guests, the meal is ready.”

They took themselves into the austere dining room, and sat down.

“Come on, Alisaie, there are those wonderful hot springs, just think about that!” Lyse gestured with her chopsticks. “How many times did you lament the lack of hot water while we were out there?”

“Getting truly clean _would_ be nice.” Alisaie cocked her head. “Tataru, please tell me you have some supplies on hand for repairing our gear? Everything of mine that is leather is terribly salt damaged.”

Alphinaud let the women discuss sartorial concerns, and tried to concentrate on eating, rather than dwelling on how Berylla had kissed him a few minutes ago.

He, too, would have to prevail upon Tataru for some few repairs – and adjustments – of his own clothing. If not for the tall boots he favored, it would be obvious that his trousers were inches too short.

He was finally beginning a growth spurt, and it was likely that by the time this ended, he would attain his adult height. The prospect did not displease him, but he had to admit that he had not considered the challenges that such rapid changes would bring him. The Doman style of furnishings tended toward the austere; that fact alone had kept him from running into things and stubbing his toes.

Presently, the meal was concluded, and Alphinaud got up and wandered out towards the main room. The three women headed off towards the in-house bathing facilities, and Hancock came out of the dining room last. The blond merchant waited until the sound of female voices had faded before he approached Alphinaud.

“I take it you have something to discuss with me? Something of a delicate nature, perhaps?”

“You made a recommendation or two, last time I was here.” Alphinaud's ears felt warm, but he forged on. “I have decided that I wish to seek – some entertainment, of that sort.”

“Ah, I see. How can I aid you in that search, then?”

“I require discretion above all else,” Alphinaud said firmly. “I recall you had mentioned an establishment that specialized in such?”

“Indeed, the House of the Honeysuckle,” Hancock nodded. “If you wish, I can arrange for you to visit there this very night.”

Alphinaud swallowed hard, a little surprised by the alacrity with which Hancock had leaped to assist him. “Certainly I would wish to learn the location of this place, at the least,” he nodded.

“Then, if you will walk with me?” Hancock gestured. “It is quite the fashion for men of higher status to stroll about the Flower District of an evening. Some few even enter the Houses, and not an eyebrow will be raised, for each House has entertainments of the most respectable sort in their _public_ rooms.”

The young scholar swallowed one more time, and straightened his shoulders. “Lead on.”

Alisaie and Lyse showered quickly, and Tataru brought them plain, pale robes made of silk. “These are very basic kimono,” the Lalafellin woman told them, “but they will do just fine for tonight. I'll make sure all your things get cleaned.” She cocked her head at them, then. “Explain to me just happened to Berylla?”

Lyse sighed. “Well, when Doma Castle collapsed...” She told the story, as much as she knew. Tataru listened, her brows creased with worry.

When Lyse finished, Alisaie shook her head. “I still can't believe Gosetsu is gone.” She did not meet the eyes of the other two women. “I can still hear his voice... My ears haven't stopped ringing since he first barged his way into the Rising Stones, a veritable force of nature.”

“I know Hien is going to miss him the most,” Lyse nodded, and scrubbed at her face. “Gods, I'm so tired. I'll be glad to get back home.”

“You two surely have plans of your own for this time while you're all waiting for the ship,” Tataru said, “but I don't like the idea of Berylla wandering about the city all alone. Not while she's injured like that.”

“My only _plan_ ,” Alisaie said with a yawn, “was to sleep.”

“Berylla might spend all her time sleeping, too,” Lyse pointed out. “But if she takes it into her head to go for a walk, we'll make sure someone goes with her.”

Alphinaud walked beside Hancock, beset with a complicated mix of emotions. On the one hand, he had not expected the Uldahn to personally escort him to a pillow house. Under most circumstances he would have politely – and firmly – refused any such escort. He still did not like Hancock, still did not entirely trust him. Yet, to his consternation, he found himself grateful to have someone with him – even someone he would never call friend was better than attempting this initial foray alone.

As they strolled along, Hancock made small talk, relating little bits of trivia about the buildings they passed. Alphinaud mostly tuned him out, preoccupied with his own thoughts.

But when the blond merchant came to a stop, the scholar brought his attention back to reality.

Parts of the Flower District were filled with color and bustled with activity, but more than half of the streets were quiet and relatively dim, boasting modest lanterns that shone upon tastefully designed plaques and signs. Alphinaud's knowledge of Hingan script was scanty at best, but the courtesans of Kugane knew well that not all of their patrons were native to the area: every establishment's sign also included a distinctive rendering of a specific flower. In fact it was this habit which gave the district its name, as Alphinaud had learned during his first stay in the city.

Hancock had stopped in front of a sign bearing a depiction of the flowering vine – and a profusion of the actual plant as well. The soft scent drifted across the two men. The blond man looked over at Alphinaud. “Well, here we are, my friend. Ready?”

The scholar could only nod silently.

*

_**Castrum Oriens** : dawn _

General Raubahn read over the report that had arrived while he slept, and nodded. Tataru Taru had long ago mastered the art of subterfuge in letter writing; the missive made it look as though the Scions were scurrying home, and outright lied about their itinerary and current location.

The letter had been tampered with, as expected. He hid his grin. The Garleans had yet to realize that simply copying over the written text of such missives was giving them – at best – half the information.

He once more blessed the twisty mind of the leader of the Alchemists Guild. Then he took out the vial of special powder, and tapped a tiny amount of the magical reagent over the paper.

The enchanted ink shimmered for a moment, the letters seeming to twist themselves into new shapes. Then, with a rippling effect, the ink and paper settled once more, and Raubahn was free to read the _real_ report, the one penned by Alphinaud.

His brows creased immediately at the mention of injuries taken by the Warrior of Light. The Scions had pulled off their mad scheme, in the process somehow destroying Doma Castle, the very seat of government for the nation. Berylla had been caught in some of that destruction. Raubahn scowled.

Leveilleur's assurances that the warrior's broken bones would be well healed by the time the Scions returned did not make the General feel better. He would be demanding a much more detailed explanation of Alphinaud, and of Berylla, when next he saw them.

He finished reading, and folded the letter up. The moment it was out of the light, the magicked ink would return to its original state. The Garleans had intercepted messages in the past of course; the Eorzeans had tried coded communications, and found that the Garleans had an uncanny knack for decryption of such codes as the Alliance had formulated.

This latest effort had, so far, been most successful. Raubahn knew of half a dozen Garlean spies within the Castrum, and had arranged to leave them in place, being fed careful doses of half-truth and lies to send back to their masters. He was aware that operatives had been located in every Alliance city, and though he was not privy to their methods, he trusted that the leaders of those cities had all taken similar approaches to his own in dealing with those agents. He _knew_ Nanamo would have done so; it was she who had persuaded him to leave the remaining spies in the Immortal Flames alone, that he might know exactly who to leak information to – affording him a small boost against the Garleans.

Thus far, none of the Garlean agents here had passed on anything more than what he'd so carefully allowed them to “discover.”

All of which meant he could leave his tent and make a short visit to the infirmary. He was due to inspect the facilities, and it made a fine cover for him to speak with Nightbird, which in turn would result in at least some word getting back to Ser Aymeric. That ought to set the man's mind at ease somewhat in regards to the Warrior of Light. There was very little Raubahn could do for Berylla directly; but he wished it were otherwise. So he would take whatever small opportunity presented itself to do her, and those who cared for her, a favor.

When he arrived, Kevala was with Krile Baldesion. They paused in their discussion, but the General gestured with a smile. “Pray continue.”

“Yes sir.” Krile nodded. “Well, as I was about to say – Y'Shtola is doing well, all things considered. The last of the internal damage appears to be healed at last. She can almost walk unaided, and assuming she does not drive herself to collapse...”

“She is wise enough in the ways of healing to know better than that,” Nightbird commented.

“She is also _very_ frustrated,” Krile shrugged. “The things she says during her exercise sessions would scorch your ears. If she could reach Zenos right now, the man would be shredded to ribbons. In the past two weeks, she has let that frustration push her beyond her present capabilities. I hope I have at last persuaded her to moderation in her efforts, but only time will tell.”

Raubahn rumbled, “Should I order that she be moved further away from the front, then?”

Krile's eyes twinkled as she smiled up at him. “A very thoughtful suggestion, sir, but it would do little good. However,” she held up her hands, palms up, “I can offer this much in the way of good news. She no longer requires watching over full time. Any of the younger healers will be well able to care for her daily needs, and she will only get stronger from here on. Meaning that I can once more take up some few duties outside of the infirmary, if you yet need healers for patrol groups.”

The General smiled down at her. “Getting bored of the castrum walls, are you, lass?”

“Perhaps a little.” Krile grinned. “But with all due respect, sir, we cannot afford to relax our guard. I am at your disposal.” She bowed.

“Very well, I shall see about adding you to the patrol roster. Rhalgr knows, I've need of seasoned veterans to help ease the new blood into their duties.”

“Are there still recruits coming in?” Nightbird asked, her elegant eyebrows rising.

“Aye, and if you can believe it, some of them aren't even from Gyr Abania originally.” His grin was wolf-like. “We're getting quite a few from up north – some of those heretics the Ishgardians used to tussle with. It seems that at least some of them decided they no longer have a taste for snow – and they're looking for a new place to call home, a place they can get a fresh start.”

Nightbird nodded slowly. Efforts had begun, to try to re-integrate most of the heretics back into the common Ishgardian society; but there had been difficulties – old memories, bad blood, all the obstacles of a war between brothers that made reconciliation so very thorny a path to tread. It did not entirely surprise her that some of the heretics judged it better to simply start over in another land...but it did not make her rejoice.

Raubahn shifted his weight and made a little gesture. “If the two of you would be so kind,” he rumbled, “an inspection is in order now. I've not much time before my morning meetings, so we can keep this brief.”

“Of course, General.” Nightbird bowed, and she and Krile accompanied the big Highlander inside the infirmary. As they entered, he began to speak in a low voice, relating to the two of them the most important parts of the report he'd just received.

From across the yard, a tall, pale-blond woman sighed, and stopped staring at the infirmary door. A small frown of disappointment crossed her fine features, but then her face resumed the bland neutrality of a worker intent on accomplishing an assigned task.

*

_**Ishgard** : the Forgotten Knight; sometime after midnight _

“So that's the latest word from the south, then?”

“Aye. We'll keep our ears to the ground, o' course.”

“You always do. And I'm right glad of it.”

Gil changed hands with a muted clink.

“Always a pleasure.”

“For one of us it is.”

A sardonic laugh, and then footsteps, which swiftly faded up the stairs and out into the night.

Gibrillont stayed still and silent, waiting until Hilda gave the signal. But the moment she clapped her hands twice, he was out in the main room of his tavern, frowning at her.

“I don't like this.”

“I don't care, sweetheart.” Hilda gave him a sideways glance, then tossed back the last of her ale. This was hardly the first time her old friend had objected to her methods; the exchange was almost a joke between them by this time. “I don't half trust those bloody damn highborn. Borel's the only one with a splinter of honesty in his bones. And a street rat like me – even if I am in charge of me very own little army – well, I gotta keep ahead however I can. Think of this more as checkin' me facts, if it makes you feel better.”

The dusky tavern-keep crossed his arms. “That's not the problem, Hilda. How d'you know for certain that these mercenaries you're payin' ain't takin' gil from the blasted Garleans?”

“Because if they were, they'd be too expensive. I'm too little a fish for the likes of those that'll let the Imperials hire 'em. I'm _insignificant_ ,” and her voice dripped with bitter sarcasm at that word. “Meanin' I can sneak around and snoop to me heart's content, at least for now.”

She rose, leaving a pouch on the table that clinked. “As usual, thank you for givin' me the use of yer taproom for a little. G'night, luv.”

She sauntered out, leaving Gibrillont to watch her go and sigh.

Hilda stepped out into the chill, and gave a little sigh of her own as she walked towards the Astrologicum. Gibrillont had been her friend for years and years – he was damn near family to her. She hated that she could not let him in on all that she was doing, but such was the life she had now. She had never traded her body for coin, had never compromised on the things that mattered most – and though some might believe she had sold her integrity for her command of the Hounds, she still had not traded away her values.

She simply had more to deal with than she ever had before. Fortunately she also had more allies than ever.

She stepped inside the Astrologicum. The place was mostly dark at this late hour – three bloody of the clock, most anyone with _sense_ was asleep – but as she knew he would be, one man was yet sitting up, with a lantern at his side as he pored over some tome or other.

“Janne.”

“Hm? Oh! Oh, right, right. Yes.” The older man smiled at her, absently, his mind clearly still on his book. “Go right on in, he's waiting for you.”

The half-elf woman shook her head in tolerant amusement, and walked up the half-flight of steps to the little door at the back of the room. She opened it, and stepped through into what most everyone knew to be a closet.

Aymeric de Borel stood in the tiny room, leaning against a shelf. He did not wear his Lord Commander's insignia, or indeed, any of the trappings of his true rank. He looked downright saturnine, in his dark blue cloak, black shirt, and black pants. If she didn't know that he was taken, Hilda admitted to herself, her head would very much be turned by his looks.

Hilda greeted him with a nod, and without preamble, began to talk.

For her little “spying” venture was an instrument for more than one purpose. She garnered plenty of information for her own use; but she passed on the things that Borel wanted to know, too. In return, the Lord Commander and Speaker for the House of Lords – the single most powerful man in Ishgard, as things were now – lent her his support, in ways large and small.

For an instant she wished she had worked harder to befriend Berylla. The tall red-headed warrior must have something incredibly special about her, to have so captivated the Lord Commander. Even now, months after the woman had left Eorzean shores, he still sought any word of her he could get his hands on. Hilda couldn't help but wonder about Berylla...especially given some of the stories she'd heard.

Well. She could wonder about such things later.

Borel wasn't happy with the news. Hilda raised her eyebrows at the black scowl he wore. She spoke slowly, watching his reactions. “That's quite a glower. I would've thought you'd be glad to hear she's on her way back at last.”

His eyes snapped to hers, and for one moment Hilda's breath stopped in her chest. She realized, in that breathless moment, that there was a great deal more going on with Borel and Berylla than she had suspected. Any curiosity she might have had was snuffed out by the pain she saw in that sapphire gaze.

She did not want any part of that sort of drama, not at all. She had enough on her plate.

She shrugged. “Well. That's the news. Won't hear back from my man on the front for a couple of weeks as usual.”

“Thank you.” He nodded, his eyes letting her go.

Without another word, he turned, his hand reaching for a dusty book on the shelf he had leaned on. A panel slid out of the way, and a hole in the floor was revealed. Borel vanished down a ladder, and the panel slid back into place with barely a whisper.

Hilda stood in the empty closet, and took a few long breaths. Once the warrior was back in Eorzea, the half-elf decided, she'd cut the spy loose. And she'd take care not to get involved with Borel's less-public “investigating” again.


	50. Relaxation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small content warning for reference to sex worker, and slightly graphic depiction of injuries

The following day, anyone attempting to spy upon the Ruby Bazaar might have believed that the Scions had already left the city entirely. There was no sign of them whatsoever, not even in the main offices.

Tataru made a point of having a meal brought to their suite at mid-day; otherwise they likely would not have eaten at all.

The four of them sat around a small table in the sitting room; Berylla in particular seemed relieved to have a real chair to sit in.

But the big Roe barely ate, and after only half an hour, she asked Alphinaud to help her to bed again. When he returned to the sitting room, Lyse frowned in concern.

“Do not worry,” he soothed. “She is simply worn out. Her powers of recuperation are exceptional, but they still take energy. She is fine.”

“I'll take your word for it,” Lyse said, then sighed. “I suppose all of us are tired, eh? Freeing a whole nation from oppression is hard work.”

“That it is,” Alphinaud smiled. “There is no reason that you cannot simply sleep.”

“You're right.” The blond monk rose. “And that's exactly what I'm going to do. See you at supper.”

Alphinaud sat back down, and between the two of them, he and Alisaie polished off every speck of food remaining. Then, Alphinaud fetched his sketchbook and settled on the couch. His sister watched him for a few minutes, then got up and went towards Berylla's room.

Alisaie tapped on the frame of the shoji, and then came into my room. I blinked at her, then smiled. “Hey. I'm surprised you're not back in bed.”

“I will certainly take another nap soon,” she chuckled. “But first, I wanted to get your clothes – Tataru is having everything cleaned for us, thankfully.”

“Sure, all the clothing is in the top part of the pack,” I told her. “And thank you.”

It didn't take her long to rummage through the pack and carry away the clothes. But she came right back, and knelt down beside my futon.

“I know you can't really soak,” she gestured with her chin at the bulky cast on my arm, “but if you like, I can help you get cleaned up...?”

The very idea made me keenly aware of how gross I was. “Oh gods,” I said, “ _yes_ , please.”

She helped me up and got me into the small bathing chamber that connected to our suite of rooms. Then, she helped me out of my clothes.

I paused as I caught sight of myself in the long mirror that stood across from the bench where I had sat down. Carefully, I stood up, and peered at my reflection.

“Fury,” I breathed. “I look like _shit_.”

“You should have seen yourself two days ago,” Alisaie answered, her lips pressed tight.

I nodded absently. _I didn't know it was this bad. No wonder Alphinaud's been so hands-off._

My Blessing made me heal fast, and I had started to take that for granted. But clearly there were limits to what Hydaelyn's strength could handle. The arm of course – but I was appalled at the bruising I still had. Two days! Usually I was completely healed in just a night.

But now – my eye was no longer swollen shut, but my face and collarbone and shoulder still looked awful, with strangely mottled dark bruises. I was covered in fading, yellowish bruises across my legs and belly and my other arm – I barely felt those. I shivered to think how badly hurt I had _really_ been, how close I had likely come to being squashed like a bug under that wall.

She stepped over to the big tub and beckoned to me. “Come on. Sit on the edge here.” I sat down with my feet in the tub, and sighed with relief for the heat of the water.

I was able to wash most of myself without too much trouble, but my shoulders ached so badly...there was no way I was getting my hair clean. I couldn't use the washcloth with my right hand, of course.

Alisaie took over when I'd done all I could. Her hands were gentle, and somehow she managed to thoroughly wash my hair without getting water everywhere.

When I was clean, she patiently helped me dry off, and then handed me my own kimono, the blue one Tataru had given me. She put a dry towel over my shoulders so that my hair would drip on that instead of the clothing, and took me back to my room.

She persuaded me to lie down again, and then she knelt on the floor near my head and started to dry my hair.

“You don't have to do that,” I murmured, eyes shut. The effort of getting clean had worn me out.

“I know I don't have to. But I would like to do this for you.”

Tired and even more tactless than usual, the words came out of my mouth before I considered them. “Alisaie, are you trying to flirt with me again...?”

Her hands went still, and she made such an odd noise that I opened my eyes to look at her.

Her face was very pink, and her hand was over her mouth.

“A-Alisaie? Are you okay?”

Slowly, she bent forward until her head was resting against mine. She was shaking.

Before I could _really_ start to worry, she began to laugh.

I couldn't turn over, but I reached up with my good hand and patted awkwardly in the direction of her shoulder. I found my fingers tangling in her hair, and then she was pressing her cheek against me and her hand was over mine. I felt tears against my wrist.

She mumbled something I couldn't quite make out, muffled against our hands and garbled by the way she was both laughing and crying at the same time. I made a small noise in my throat, not sure what to say or do. What I had said hadn't been _that_ outrageous...had it?

She let me go, and sat up, and I started to try and move so that I could see her better. But my shoulder twinged strongly and I hissed and gave up the attempt.

She moved then, until she was sitting next to me, her knee brushing my ribs. I reached for her, hesitant, and she took my hand in hers. Her cheeks were damp and her ears were still pink with embarrassment.

“I – I'm sorry,” I began, but she shook her head. Her smile was sardonic.

“You really are the most wonderful idiot sometimes.”

I felt my own face turning red now. “Alisaie, I – I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.”

“You didn't.” She sighed and stroked the back of my hand, making little patterns with her fingertips.

I watched her, and bit my lip. She noticed and gave me a small smile as she let me go.

“Don't worry about me, Berylla. I'm a big girl. I can take a little rejection.”

Before I could reply to that, she was gone.

I lay there, and tried to think about things, but sleep ambushed me and carried me off.

*

Supper was over. Lyse, Alisaie, and Tataru were chatting together over a last round of tea, while Alphinaud escorted Berylla back to bed once more.

He checked over her injuries, then made her as comfortable as he could. Alisaie had told him that she had helped the warrior get clean, and certainly Berylla seemed to feel better for it. Her bruises were still fading, but at a rate more like a normal mortal; her arm was stable but no longer seemed to be healing faster than any other person's bones would. He wondered if she simply hadn't the energy to fuel the process, but he did not ask her about it.

She held tight to his hand as he was about to get up. “Please,” she murmured. “Please stay.”

How he could he deny her, when she looked so piteous and sad?

So, he stayed with her, just holding her hand, until the medicines had done their work and sent her to sleep.

Then he came back out, quietly, and stepped into the main office.

Hancock waited there. “Ah. You are on your way, then?”

“Yes.”

“Good, good. I shan't expect you back until morning, I assume?”

“I do not intend to spend the entire night there,” Alphinaud fidgeted, “but I suppose it is best to prepare for such an eventuality. You do recall what we discussed?”

“Of course,” Hancock waved one hand as if to dismiss all concern. “You are taking an evening for yourself, you are at a tavern, and should other questions arise about your coming in late – or early,” he winked, “I have a plausible story set up from there.”

“Very well.” Alphinaud cleared his throat. “Thank you for your help, Hancock.”

“You are quite welcome, Master Alphinaud.” The insufferable man bowed, but his grin didn't diminish in the slightest.

The scholar turned to leave. He was nervous, but there was certainly no point in dawdling. He had made an appointment, and he was going to keep it.

What would come of this notion of his, he wasn't quite sure.

He strode out, and headed for the House of the Honeysuckle.

*

Alphinaud arrived back at the Ruby Bazaar in the small hours of morning. He felt giddy and exhausted – almost drunk, but in a most delightful way. He no longer had doubts about the wisdom of his decision to ask a courtesan for lessons in the things he could not learn from books.

He had arranged to return; Mai was certain she could complete his lessons with another session. However, she had recommended that he rest for a day and a night before continuing. Given how he felt at this point, he fully agreed.

The things she had taught him already had been highly erotic, of course – but also fascinating. She had educated him in how to listen to a lover, as well as how to produce specific sensations with fingers and tongue. Even more importantly, she had taught him ways to control his body's urges to a degree he would not previously have believed possible.

His body was sore, but his mind was whirling, cataloging all the things he now wanted to try – someday. Being with Mai had done much for his confidence, as well. He need never worry about shaming himself again, as he had at the springs.

He reeled slightly as he entered the corridor where the sleeping-rooms lay, and caught himself before he began to chuckle. It would not do to wake someone, now. They would only have questions, and he was far too tired to dissemble convincingly.

He barely managed to peel off his boots and coat before he collapsed onto his futon. His last waking thought was what a pleasant surprise he would be able to give Berylla.

Alphinaud woke late in the morning, to find that Hancock had covered for him as promised. He wasn't entirely sure that he appreciated the man's insinuation that the scholar had encountered a stronger sake than usual – but being thought of as slightly foolish in his choice of drink was far better than being teased unmercifully for visiting a courtesan.

He did not like to think what Alisaie would say if ever she found out.

In order to avoid having to answer anyone's questions, he took himself to the hot baths and stayed there for the rest of the morning.

*

I felt good enough to walk around some, finally, the second morning after we got back to Kugane. Alphinaud was nowhere to be seen, and Alisaie had vanished too on some kind of errand. But Lyse was still there, and I wheedled her into going along with me.

“Are you sure about this?” Lyse asked me, for the third time, as we walked slowly down the market street.

“I'm fine, Lyse,” I sighed a little, but smiled at her. “I'm sick of lying in bed, and I don't feel tired at all yet. I promise I'll be careful and pay attention. I won't be stubborn about going back as soon as I feel ready. Okay?”

“Okay.” We examined a merchant's wares – fascinating little artworks of cork pressed between pieces of glass. I was thrilled when I realized that the man would indeed be willing to let me pick out the pieces I wanted, and pack them properly for travel. It felt odd, to be using my money on things that could only be called fripperies. But it was a good kind of odd.

_I'm not ready to retire, but gods, I am_ _**really** _ _ready to just not be at war for a little while._

The next merchant sold swords, and though a few weeks ago I would have stopped and admired the gorgeous works of art those swords were... I shivered and moved past without more than a glance.

I hadn't had nightmares, just as Alphinaud had promised. Whatever medicine he was giving me, it was effective at least. Even if it did leave my head feeling strange the next day. It was as if there was an echo inside my skull, and it was a damn unsettling sensation.

We perused a few more booths, before my stomach began to growl.

I glanced around for a water-clock, and saw that it was just noon. I turned to Lyse and said, “Let's go get something to eat.”

She eyed me. “Do you want to go back?”

“No, there are some places not far from here, I'd rather do that. I'm still feeling pretty good.”

She tucked a bit of hair back behind her ear, and smiled. “I'm glad to see it. You've been awful quiet.” She set her hand on my good shoulder. “Not that I blame you. I just...worry.”

“You aren't the only one, honey.”

We started walking, and her voice took on a familiar teasing tone. “Has Alphinaud been taking good care of you, then?”

“Oh, you – ” I made a face at her, knowing that I was blushing by the way she grinned. “He has been very professional actually. He treats me like I'm made of glass.” I shrugged, then winced. “Knowing how I looked...I can't really blame him.”

“We're all used to you bouncing back in a day,” she murmured.

“Me too, believe me.” I patted her shoulder. “But I'm doing okay.”

Then we turned the corner, and Lyse was grinning again.

“Oh, hey there, Alphinaud!”


	51. Loose Ends

Alphinaud was wearing one of his more relaxed, “off duty” outfits, a simple sweater and loose trousers, the same kind of clothes he'd worn on our sea voyage to get to Kugane. He waved one hand at us and stood still as we walked towards him. He cast a glance over me, and smiled. I smiled back.

“You are looking much recovered today, Berylla.”

“I'm feeling human again at least,” and I managed a very small laugh. “Enough that I'm pretty hungry. I was dragging Lyse with me to get some food in fact.” It took an effort to keep my tone casual and not pleading. “Come with us?”

He cocked his head, thinking about it, then nodded. “Food would be welcome. I assume you have an establishment in mind?”

“Nope.” The looks I got from him, and from Lyse, made me grin. “But I know there are at least three places on this street that sell dumplings, and that's what I'm after.”

“What, like the things they make on the Steppe?” Lyse asked. “Those were tasty.”

“A little like that, yeah.”

We wandered down the street, and it didn't take long for me to pick out a particular stall. It was busy, but not too busy – and the smells from the many pots that surrounded the old lady there were divine.

I scanned the little wooden menu that was tacked to one of the front posts of the stall. There were about a dozen variations or fillings for the steamed dumplings she was offering, and every single one of them sounded delicious.

I took over, taking advantage of my Echo to speak to the woman in her own tongue. I'd learned more than a few ways to get on the good side of the older folks around here, and I shamelessly bent phrases to my aims. The old woman's eyes lit up at the pouch full of gil I handed over, and I knew I had struck exactly the right note between praise, respectful “youngster,” and generous patron.

I hadn't let Alphinaud or Lyse get a word in edgewise, but they didn't seem to mind.

They followed after me as I went over to one of the small tables, and as I sat down, Alphinaud gave me a sideways glance. “It seems you have developed something of a knack for handling people.”

“Not at all,” I ran my hand through my hair – a little gingerly. My shoulders were beginning to ache in a slow throb, now. “I only know how to sweet talk just enough to get myself some food. You know me, always thinking with my stomach!”

Lyse laughed at that. “You really do sometimes. I won't ever let you forget the thing with the dandelion salad.”

“I hadn't learned any botany then,” I stuck my tongue out at her for an instant. “How was I to tell dandelion greens from thistles or milkweed?”

“Even the chocobos wouldn't eat it,” she told Alphinaud. He just smiled and shook his head.

She kept teasing me for a minute, and I let her, pretending to be a little more embarrassed than I really was – they were all funny incidents and I didn't mind her poking fun. It felt so much more _normal_ than anything that had happened in the last three months and I realized that I was hungry for this, too – for being with my friends, for quiet moments and silly teasing and just not worrying.

But even as I chuckled with Lyse, I noticed how quiet Alphinaud was, and the way he sat so carefully, as if he were sore. I felt a twinge of guilt as I thought about what injuries he might have gotten. He didn't have a Blessing or even the Echo, and I'd never so much as asked if he was all right...

Before I could dwell on it, a pair of teenage boys came over to our table, arms loaded down with stacks of flat bamboo baskets. They set them down and bowed, and then left.

By now, all three of us were more than familiar enough with Doman food to have no problem digging in. There was no conversation for a while, beyond a few murmurs of appreciation. I really was hungry.

But eventually we had eaten everything, leaving only a few bites of rice, and I leaned back just a little from the table with a deep and very happy sigh. “That,” I smiled, “was fantastic.”

Lyse grinned.

Alphinaud leaned his elbow on the table and listened to Lyse attempting to persuade Berylla to go on back to the Ruby Bazaar once more. His body was yet aching, but he felt a quiet contentment wash over him, just watching his friends banter with each other. He found his gaze resting on Berylla's lips as she listened to Lyse, smiling slightly. A small smile curved his own lips, as he thought about kissing her.

Then he tugged his attention back, and sat up a touch. They were yet in public, and he could not indulge himself in staring at her for long. Discretion, he reminded himself.

He pretended not to notice the twinkle in Lyse's eye, and hid a yawn behind his hand.

It was Alphinaud's yawn that decided me. I felt capable of walking around some more, but I was beginning to feel stronger twinges from my shoulder. I could push through it, and pay for it later with a lot more pain by nightfall...or I could be sensible for a change.

“Yeah, let's head back. A nap is beginning to sound pretty good.”

I could see the surprise from both of them as I spoke, and my grin was a bit wry. _I guess I really have made a reputation for myself as an idiot._

I left a little extra gil on our table as we rose, and let the other two lead the way back to the Ruby Bazaar.

When we got back, I noticed finally the date displayed on Hancock's desk in the main office. A tiny thread of chill ran along my veins. I hadn't realized how time had been passing, not in an abstract way. But it had been just about exactly a year, now, since I had first understood that Aymeric wanted me, and I wanted him. A year ago, Haurchefant had been alive...

The pain hit me like a tsunami.

It was a good thing that both Alphinaud and Lyse _expected_ me to wander off right away. _Please let them not try to make conversation_ , I prayed. _There's no way I can pretend to be okay, and I don't want to try to explain this_.

I escaped to my room, and stood there with the door shut, just taking a few long, deep breaths. Memories crashed through my head, and the ache in my chest was far worse than the ache in my shoulder and my arm.

My pack sat on the low table in the corner of the room; I went over to it and rummaged, one-handed, until I got my fingers on Aymeric's link-pearl. I turned it in my fingers as I paced for a minute.

Then, I sank down onto my knees. _I promised to call him – that was more than a week ago. I should call him. I should._

I bit my lip. _I still don't know what to say. Gods, can I even handle this?_

The shoji door slid open, and I looked up, blinking to try and make the tears go away.

Alphinaud came in, and closed the door behind himself. Those cornflower blue eyes moved over me, and he hesitated. “Should I leave?” he asked me, his voice soft. “If you would prefer to speak to Aymeric alone...”

“How did you know?” I blinked up at him, surprised.

“You're holding a link-pearl I don't recognize,” he pointed out with a quiet smile, “and you're clearly upset. There are not many people that can make you weep simply by thinking about them...and only one person likely to give you a personal link-pearl.”

I shook my head. “Am I that easy to read?”

He didn't answer that, and instead waited, head tilted slightly.

I looked at the link-pearl in my fingers, and shivered. Then I looked back up at him, and murmured, “I don't want you to go.”

Alphinaud came to kneel beside me, and gently set his shoulder against mine. I took that unspoken invitation, and leaned against him. I shut my eyes for a moment.

Then I sat up, and took one last long breath. I set the link-pearl in my ear, and thumbed it on.

It was not long after noon here. That should mean it was night in Ishgard now...if I had understood right from Hancock, last time I was here.

Two chimes, and the connection picked up. “Berylla.”

“H-Hi, Aymeric.” I swallowed. “We're – uh, not in combat, now. So I have time to talk...”

I trailed off, and sighed.

Aymeric's voice was taut. “I assumed that things had heated up there, when you did not call a few days ago.”

My face prickled. “It was...a lot has happened. Yes.”

“Are you...” He paused, and cleared his throat. “Are you well?”

I gazed at the cast on my arm. “I'm okay...sort of.”

“I would hardly call a broken arm “okay,” Berylla.” Alphinaud's comment made me look over at him and make a face at him.

On the link-pearl, Aymeric said, “You are not alone?”

“Well, no, you didn't say I needed to be.”

“Am I correct in assuming Alphinaud is with you?”

“Yeah...”

“Let me talk to him.”

I wondered why Aymeric wanted to talk to Alphinaud, but then I shrugged. “Okay, hold on.” I handed the link-pearl to Alphinaud. “He wants to talk to you.”

Eyebrows raised, Alphinaud accepted the device from me.

“Is there something I can do for you, Ser Aymeric?”

Alphinaud kept his tone polite, but almost immediately his brows drew down as Aymeric began to speak.

“Since I know she will not admit such details,” the Lord Commander said, his voice rough, “How badly hurt is she? I received word that she was seriously injured.”

“Yes, she was. As I am sure you know, she recovers quickly.” Alphinaud's eyes were on Berylla as he spoke. “By the time we return to Eorzea, the bones should be finished knitting.”

He heard the way the other man sucked in a breath, heard the pained sigh of “Oh.” Then, in a tone that bordered on accusation: “Were you not at her side?”

“Ser Aymeric, I am sure you can appreciate that battle plans do not always allow for such things. I have done my best for her.”

An uncomfortable silence stretched out for a moment, then Aymeric spoke once more. “Aye. The demands of the battlefield do not permit sentimentality. I beg your pardon, Master Leveilleur.” Then, “And I thank you for taking care of her.”

“She needed a friend. Especially when we set out.” Alphinaud paused, debating whether to mention that he knew about the situation between Aymeric and Berylla. The look in her eyes as she watched him made him think better of the idea.

“She yet means a great deal to me,” Aymeric said then. “It is perhaps asking too much of you...but I beg of you. Stay by her side. Watch over her, since I cannot.”

Alphinaud smiled. “You do not need to ask. I will continue as I have done.”

“I thank you. Please, I would speak with Berylla once more.”

“Of course.”

Alphinaud handed the link-pearl back to me, and shook his head when I gave him a questioning look. I set the device back in my own ear and cleared my throat. “Um...”

“I know you cannot give me many details,” he said. “I ask only this: will you be careful of yourself?”

“I'm trying hard to do that.” I sighed. “I don't know what else to say right now...so much has happened. But nothing with...with us...has changed. Has it.”

“No.”

“Was there – why did you want me to call you?”

“I confess,” and his laugh hurt me with the pain in it, “I could not bear to go months without hearing your voice at least one more time.”

I bent my head. “Oh. I wish I had more to say, then.”

“Rest assured, even this is...effective.” He was quiet for a moment. “You will be returning soon, yes?”

“Yes...we're supposed to take ship in a day or two, I think.”

“Promise me you will come to Ishgard the moment you are able.”

“Yes. I promise.” A reckless promise, maybe, but I would find a way, even if I had to sneak off the night before a battle.

“Thank you. Unfortunately, I must go for now. And Berylla?”

“Yeah?”

“I expect you to bring Alphinaud with you.” There was a strange inflection to his voice. “We will have dinner together. And a discussion.”

“Aymeric, what – ”

The connection went dead.

“Damn it!”

I pulled the link-pearl off, and frowned at it.

“What is it?” Alphinaud asked.

“He – he says he wants us to have dinner. With him.” I looked up from the link-pearl. “Both of us, I mean. He specifically said to bring you...and that he wants to _discuss_.”

Alphinaud nodded. “Very well.”

“Very well?” I blinked at him. “You're not worried?”

“There seems to be no cause for concern.”

I hesitated. “He...you don't think he'll be upset about, about me and you?”

Alphinaud's hand covered mine. “And if he is upset?”

I contemplated that for a minute. Aymeric was already hurt and upset. _He might reject me completely_. That didn't frighten me, somehow. _He might fight with Alphinaud_... That thought _did_ scare me. I shivered.

Then irritation flashed across me. _Damn it, just because it might happen doesn't mean I should freak out about it!_ I set the link-pearl down and rubbed my face. “Why am I like this,” I groaned.

Alphinaud slid his arms around Berylla's shoulders. She leaned into him slightly, dropping her hand to her knee and pressing her forehead against his collarbone.

“Do not worry so,” he murmured. He pressed his lips to her hair and stroked her back with one hand.

Aymeric no doubt would have many questions for the both of them. But Alphinaud was certain that the man loved Berylla, no less than Alphinaud loved her. There would be a way to talk things out – accommodation of some kind. He and Aymeric surely had the same goal – making Berylla happy. Compromise simply _had_ to be possible.

He petted her hair, but almost immediately he encountered tangles, and she winced and sat up. He let her go, sliding his hand down her good arm.

“Come,” he told her, “let me help you get comfortable.”

She moved slowly, as if she were getting tired. But he persuaded her to sit on her futon, and fetched her hairbrush and her comb. He joined her on the bed, positioning himself so that her back pressed against his chest. He brushed out the worst tangles, and then slowly combed her hair, until the fiery tresses were no longer tangled.

He continued to comb her hair, letting the silken strands slide across his fingers, luxuriating in the way it felt – _much_ better than his many fantasies had ever painted it.

Berylla hummed, low in her throat – nearly a purr – and turned slightly, so that her shoulder was turned to him. He trembled just a little at the feel of her body pressed against his. All his midnight dreams of her inundated his thoughts for a moment, and his pulse began to race.


	52. Agreements, Amended

I pressed a little closer to Alphinaud, with my injured arm against his chest. With my good hand, I slowly stroked the silk that covered his shoulder. My mind was drifting now, relaxed from the way he had combed out my hair.

When I tipped my head back, Alphinaud's arm came up, supporting me, cradling me to him.

“You ought to rest,” he told me, his gaze gentle.

“I'm not really sleepy, though.”

He looked into my eyes for a moment, then leaned his head down and kissed me.

His lips were soft against mine, and I sighed and opened my mouth for him. His tongue stroked into my mouth, tasting faintly sweet. I could feel him shaking. My hand tightened on his shirt, as heat bloomed in my cheeks and between my legs.

Part of me knew that I needed to stop, for more than one reason...but most of me only knew that I needed this, needed him, more than ever. The pain in my arm was nothing next to that need.

“Alphinaud,” I whispered, when he eased back.

“What,” he breathed, nuzzling my neck. His free hand cupped my breast.

“We should... _oh_...we should...” I groaned as his thumb caressed my nipple, my thoughts scattering for a moment, my eyes shutting as I pulled myself closer to him.

“Let me take care of you,” he whispered.

“I want,” I swallowed hard as he stroked my nipple again. Forcing my eyes open, I started over. “Alphinaud, I want you to be sure...” I licked my lips. “I want _me_ to be sure. I don't know if I can stop, if I keep kissing you now, and...”

“And you are still afraid.”

I leaned my head against his shoulder. “If we – if we t-take things to that point...” I curled my hand at the back of his neck, burying my face against the curve of his neck. “I'm still so tangled up about this. I don't want to lose you...”

His hands stroked my back, my shoulders. I could hear his heart beating fast – could feel how his breaths were quicker, shallower. But his voice was quiet and sure, as always. “Do you truly believe that I would simply make love to you and then abandon you?”

I jerked back, looking up at him. “What? No. M-maybe some other man, but not you. Never you.” I bit my lip. “But after – Aymeric and – I'm so scared I'll ruin everything. I'm scared that no matter how much we want this, that I'm going to hurt you.” My voice shook. “But I don't want to be a tease, either – ”

“Sh.” He pressed his lips to my forehead and gathered me close, tucking my head against his shoulder once more. “Listen.”

I took a long breath, and nodded.

“I will not deny that I very much want you in the physical sense.” His fingers rubbed against my scalp. “But we agreed, do you recall? To give ourselves time...”

“And limits,” I murmured. “I remember.”

“And we did say, did we not, that we could add to our agreement?”

I blinked. “Oh...yeah. Yeah, we did.”

“So I will ask this, then.” He shifted, so that he could look into my face. “Do you trust me, Berylla?”

I didn't need to think about that. “Yes.”

“Will you trust me to take control of our pace?” He half smiled as I blinked up at him. “Will you allow me to dictate the physical progression of our relationship together?”

“You mean...” I spoke slowly, thinking about it. “You mean, you would be the one deciding when we kiss. Or go further. You would... you would stop me, if I'm pushing too far?”

“I promise you, I am capable of it.”

I chewed on my lip. “But...doesn't this put too much on you?”

“I would not offer up this plan if I was concerned about that.” He smoothed my hair back from my face. “Outside the physical, we will continue as we have done. Learning to be better friends with each other.”

I lowered my eyes. “We'll certainly have...a lot of time. Won't we.”

“Only while at sea,” he smiled. “Once we are back in Eorzea, we are both going to be far too busy to get into much mischief.” His fingers touched my chin, and tipped my face back up, making me me meet his eyes. “Would you not agree?”

I managed a wry smile in answer to that. “You're probably right.” I swallowed, and licked my lips once more. “I...I guess we should, um, test out if you can...actually...?”

He chuckled. “As you wish.”

I slid my fingers into his hair and tugged him down to me. I kissed him, shivering, letting him feel how much he was affecting me. My body throbbed with wanting. Then I felt his aether, and there was no more room in my head for _thinking_.

Alphinaud held Berylla carefully to him as he threaded his aether into her body.

Had this encounter happened a day ago, he reflected, he would not have been able to think so clearly. He would not have been able to restrain his desire, his need for her. Even though his body clamored for him to explore her, to take all that she was offering – he was determined not to give in to instinct this time.

He had no intention, however, of leaving her wanting. He flexed his energy along her skin, soothing her with warmth. He knew his magic could numb the flesh, to reduce pain; he had never had need to do the opposite, but it was logical that the feat ought to be possible. He could thrill her, without directly touching her...

He took her unhurt hand in his, and kissed each of her fingertips. As he did so, he used his aether to sensitize the nerves in her fingers, magnifying the feeling in them. All the while, he watched her face.

She gasped at the rising intensity of sensation. When he placed a final kiss in the palm of her hand, she gave another of those quiet, precious moans that had so haunted his dreams since that night in Gridania, so many months ago. Even as she drew a ragged breath, her aether uncoiled from her body, tendrils rising up, undulating, caressing him.

“What are you doing to me?” Her voice was hoarse. He let her hand go, and she clung to him.

“Why, taking care of you,” he answered, letting humor lighten his voice.

His manhood tried to twitch, and then subsided as the attempt instantly caused a deep ache in his groin. He shifted, and laid her on her back, then leaned over her, his hand once more cupping her breast. This time he increased the sensitivity of her skin there, and then sent a pulse of warmth along her veins even as his thumb softly caressed the hardened peak of her nipple.

Her aether spiraled around him, through him, and he savored the feeling of that ephemeral caress. Then, he focused his magic on the exquisitely sensitive flesh between her legs.

“One kiss,” he murmured, and settled his mouth over hers.

His mouth tasted of honeysuckle and rain. He smelled like a storm-cloud, and the air around us was electric, as if we were truly in the center of a lightning storm. His hand on my breast was very warm; when his thumb stroked my nipple, it felt like a white hot point of pleasure. My heart hammered in my chest as his tongue played with mine.

His kiss was leisurely, and yet insistent. His hand never left my breast, but fire traced across my whole body, gathering and pooling between my legs, until I was gasping beneath him.

Before I could understand what was happening to me, my hips were rocking in an instinctive rhythm, helplessly, and my hand knotted in his hair. I moaned, the sound muffled by his mouth. Pleasure coiled, tightened, tension building in my core with astonishing speed. There was nothing touching me, and yet every nerve in my sex was tingling. It felt like being licked and stroked at the same time, and all the while a quivering, electric sensation was also there.

Dimly I wondered what would happen if he actually _touched_ my sex right now. The very idea was enough to make me want it, and I whimpered, trying to beg him for more, even though I had no idea what he was doing to me, I wanted _more_ –

Without warning, the delicious tension inside me snapped.

I didn't make a sound. I felt as if I had turned to stone for an instant as my orgasm took me, and shook me like a rag doll. Alphinaud kept his mouth over mine as I shivered and twitched.

He swallowed my moans and held me close until the climax let me go.

When he leaned up to look at me, my cheeks were damp and my head was spinning. He smiled, a tender and very smug smile, and ran his thumb over my cheek, wiping away the tears. “Ready to rest for now, my love?”

I could only nod, weakly, too rattled to speak. His eyes danced, and he pressed another small kiss to my lips.

Alphinaud left Berylla's room quietly, and walked into the sitting room. Lyse and Alisaie were sitting at the table, their eyes on him as he entered.

“How is she?” Alisaie asked.

Alphinaud was struck with a sudden desire to tell his sister exactly how Berylla was at this moment – _falling asleep in the wake of an intense orgasm_ – just to provoke a reaction from her. Hard on the heels of that wish was an urge to burst into laughter. He clamped down on those feelings and forced his expression and his voice to remain neutral.

“Sleeping, finally. She insists on pushing herself every time she can.” He shook his head, and continued walking, heading for his own room. “I expect she will require medicines to sleep tonight. I am going to make certain I have what I need.”

And with that he escaped their scrutiny.

He sat down at his work table and set about making quick calculations as to medicines. But he hardly needed all his attention for such mundane mathematics, and he let his hands work as his mind replayed again the way Berylla's body had arched beneath him, the scent of her, the wonderful sounds she had made. The memory made his nerves tingle. Knowing no one would see and comment on it, he let himself smile widely.

On the one hand, he wanted to run about the city shouting at the top of his lungs – to tell anyone and everyone he saw that he was utterly besotted, and that his affections were reciprocated. On the other hand, he wanted to keep all of it to himself, like a dragon gloating over its hoard.

He knew that if the Garleans – or any of their myriad enemies – discovered that he and Berylla cared for each other, they would not hesitate to use him against the Warrior of Light, or to manufacture situations that placed immense stress on their relationship. He was a weakness for her, a risk, a chink in her armor that a foe could exploit... and she was no less a risk for him. They did not lead lives of peace and quiet. Discretion was a matter of survival, not mere preference.

Still, knowing how he had pleasured her, all with nothing more than his aether, made him feel incredible – equal parts amazed and smug. He wanted to repeat the experience, as frequently as they could manage it.

He would have to exercise a great deal of prudence while they were at sea, he mused. There might be opportunities to be alone with her, and he would not allow such moments to pass him by... But he likely could not get away with doing quite the same sort of thing to her as he had just a few minutes ago. There was also the consideration that he would be somewhat torturing himself: if he were not so very tired and sore from last night's exertions, he would surely be aching from arousal. Better to take a small step back from physical delights... for now.

In the sitting room, Lyse grinned at Alisaie. “You owe me ten gil.”

The red mage sighed, and fished in her pouch for the coins. “I suppose I should be glad they aren't displaying their affections in front of me.”

“Are you really all that upset about the two of them being involved?”

Alisaie pursed her lips. “I may or may not be a touch jealous.” She ignored Lyse's snicker. “I will admit however, I am concerned that if our enemies discover their – involvement...” She shook her head. “But that is doing my brother a disservice. I am certain he knows just as well as I do that they cannot afford to be obvious in their dealings with each other.”

Then she grinned, a positively wicked light in her eye. “And we shall all be aboard a ship once more – it will be child's play for me to ensure they don't get nearly as much time alone as Alphinaud might wish.”

Lyse covered her mouth to muffle her guffaw.

*

_**Ishgard** : Borel Manor, night_

Aymeric set down the link-pearl on the night-stand, and sat down on the edge of the bed. He set his head in his hands, and forced himself to breathe deeply. Hearing from Hilda that Berylla had been hurt during the battle at Doma Castle had made him frantic for a time, knowing that he could not reach out to General Raubahn to demand details. He had seriously considered initiating contact with Berylla – but then he had realized that if she were injured, she might well be unable to answer.

When the link-pearl had chimed, it had been all he could do to answer it with a calm demeanor. He had heard the hesitation in her voice from the start. But when he had heard Alphinaud's voice...

For an instant, jealousy had flickered across his heart, like sullen lightning hiding inside a cloud.

But then he had realized that the scholar at least would not prevaricate or evade his questions. And indeed, Alphinaud had not dodged him. Nor had the young man been in the least perturbed by the things Aymeric had said.

They were coming back to Eorzea. But did that also mean that Berylla was coming home? Aymeric ran his hands through his hair and sighed. Well, he had at the least ensured that she would come and speak with him.

The outcome of that conversation would determine the rest.

*

The day of our departure, I was awake just before dawn. Even though Alphinaud had given me the sleeping medicine again, I just _couldn't_ stay in bed anymore. I managed to get dressed alone – mainly because some kind soul had left the Doman style shoes for me to use, which didn't have laces to fight with.

I went out into the main office. I was feeling energetic enough to go for a walk.

Hancock was there, and I blinked at him. “You're up early.”

He smiled. “As are you. Might I ask how you are faring this morning?”

“Oh,” I started to shrug, then changed my mind and waved my hand a little instead. “I'm doing okay.” I tilted my head, considering for a moment. “I know I've been asleep a lot and all, but I do appreciate all the help you've given us. It's been good to have someone familiar to work with.” And good to have a known quantity, even if you aren't the most trustworthy person in the world. But I knew better than to say that, and after all I had no personal gripe with Hancock.

His smile widened, and then it was his turn to wear a thoughtful look. “You are considering going out?”

“Hm, yes, I have energy this morning for a change.”

“A good sign for your recovery,” he chuckled, “but if I might offer up a humble suggestion...come back here to have your breakfast, hm?”

“Oh? Something wrong?”

“Not exactly...but I did receive a young messenger yesterday. You had already gone to lie down, and I did not find an opportunity to speak with you.”

“Messenger?” I felt thick as he gave me a somewhat pitying glance.

Then he set a very small pouch on his desk and opened it. I had left a tip, when we'd got done with eating lunch yesterday... I recognized the pouch.

“What on earth?”

“The young man brought this in claiming you had forgotten it.” Hancock looked up at me shrewdly. “I expect no one mentioned to you, did they, that gratuities are not expected in the East?”

“But why?”

“Does it matter?” he countered, then relented. “It has to do with the implication that the workers are not paid properly, and there are some other aspects that are too much to go into this early in the morning. Suffice it to say, because you are an ijin, they took less offense...but they also returned the surplus.”

“Oh.” I thought about it. “Oh...well, fuck. I didn't know. How the hell are you supposed to show appreciation for the service then?”

Hancock waved his hand. “As I said, it's too early to get into these cultural differences.”

“Well. Keep the money,” I shrugged. “And yeah, I'll come back here for food. At least I know now, so that's helpful. Worth a bit of lost coin as far as I'm concerned.”

“Many people would not agree – it is knowledge that is only helpful for one planning to stay in the city for a time.”

“I plan to come back, Hancock.”

His jaw dropped for a second and then he recovered, grinning widely. I grinned right back.

“You've got work to do, so I'll stop delaying you,” I said then. “Be back in a little bit.”

“Enjoy your walk,” he said with a wave of his fingers.

I stepped out into the street, and smiled at the way the sea breeze wafted across me. There was a small bridge linking the market district with the plaza where the Shiokaze stood. It had one of the nicest views in the whole city, and I headed for it.

The markets were in full cry already – mostly in the sections closest to the docks, as the morning fish markets did their briskest business just about this time – and I dodged people and carts, concentrating on it. I didn't look up and really pay attention to my surroundings until my feet finally touched the red-painted wood of the bridge.

I took in a long breath, glad I'd navigated the crowd without bashing my arm or running into anyone, and then stopped in my tracks.

Alphinaud was coming my way, from the wrong side of the bridge.

I blinked at him. His hair was damp, and he looked completely exhausted. His eyes fixed on me and he went pale, then blushed so strongly I worried he might pass out.

I tried to speak to him, but he tore his eyes away from me, turned his head, and pretended as if he did not see me, did not know me.

He sped up his steps, melting into the crowd in seconds. _Fleeing_. I stared after him, trying to figure out what on earth he had been up to.

Alphinaud was certain he was going to die of mortification.

He had not expected to see any of the Scions on his way back to the Ruby Bazaar, but the fact that it was Berylla who had spied him returning – after dawn – oh, the humiliation if she were to ask him where he had been! It did not bear thinking about.

He had all he could do not to run. He slipped through the crush of people, glad of his smaller frame for once. When he had made his way through the crowded marketplace, and chanced a nervous glance over his shoulder, she was nowhere to be seen.

He breathed a small sigh of relief and slowed his steps again, so that when he entered the offices at the Bazaar, he was no longer winded. Hancock was awake and having breakfast; the blond merchant gave Alphinaud a cheery wave and a knowing smile, but did not stop him or speak. The scholar continued on into the building and went straight to his own room, and only there did he sag and set his head in his hands.

Oh, Thaliak have mercy. There was no way he could persuade Berylla that he had been virtuously in his own bed... Unless perhaps she would believe that the public baths were open in the pre-dawn hours? No, he should not even try to lie to her. They were building trust between them – telling a lie now would be foolish, and doubly insulting.

But he trembled to think what she might say to him.

Well. Perhaps she would not ask?

He lay down on his bed, fully clothed. He was certain his worry would keep him awake, but he had underestimated his own exhaustion. After only a minute or two, he was fast asleep.


	53. Fare Thee Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Berylla's time in Doma is at its end.

I stayed on the bridge for a while, admiring the sunrise and generally just relaxing – then I went over to the Shiokaze. There, I managed to convince the hostelry's cook to part with a copy of the basic recipes for the food I had been enjoying so much. The volume wasn't exactly cheap, but I had more than enough money – and precious little to spend it on. With my new book under my good arm, I headed back to the Ruby Bazaar.

Halfway back, I stopped, drawn in by a small shop selling furnishings. I had seen the walls in the castle, and at the Kienkan too – walls painted with beautiful murals full of soothing color and gentle patterns of waves, of fish, of bamboo leaves. This shop had things of a similar design but much more modest – simple folding screens, some of them very small and clearly meant for display on a table or shelf, while others were taller than me and obviously meant to partition a room. But unlike the partitions I was used to seeing back home, these were far more than just utilitarian.

I picked out one of the big free standing screens on display, four panels covered with blue swirling patterns and persimmon-colored fish with unlikely looking fins. It finished off my spending money, but I was smiling as I emptied my pouch for the man.

I made arrangements for it to be sent to the ship ahead of me. I was absolutely certain I'd get some odd looks from the others for the folding screen, but if they didn't _see_ it – there would be no comments. Even if I wasn't going to be there much, I wanted something pretty _and_ functional in my room back at the Rising Stones. There was a lot to be said for having at least one beautiful thing to look at in one's home.

I got back to the Ruby Bazaar just in time to see Lyse and Alisaie walking out. I waved to them, and we stood out of the main part of the street for a moment.

“And what have you been up to?” Lyse asked, smiling at me.

“A little shopping,” I grinned. Alisaie peered at my book, and I held it out to her so she could get a better look at it.

She gave me a wide smile. “Ah, I see. For a moment I thought perhaps you'd been searching out gifts for someone.”

I laughed. “No, I did that the other day when Lyse was with me.”

Her eyes twinkled. “Then it is only I who needs must obtain souvenirs, is it?”

“I'm sure you'll find something or other. There are sword sellers in the market, after all.”

She lightly slapped my good arm. “I do have other interests, Berylla!”

“Tataru said that most all our things are going to be packed up and sent to the ship right after the noon meal,” Lyse said. “The only thing we'll need to do is take our personal packs. And by that,” she leveled a look at me, “I mean I'm carrying yours and mine both.”

I sighed, then nodded. “Okay, okay. I'll behave. I really don't think it would be beyond me to carry _something_ though.”

“Well, for the moment, carry yourself inside,” Alisaie waved her fingers at me, grinning. “We're off to run our little errands. If you find you need any help, we'll be back by lunch time, for certain. All right?”

“All right.”

They both sauntered off, and I took myself inside.

As it turned out, I did need help – all our clothing had been cleaned and mended, but the staff had simply set everything in the sitting room, leaving us to sort it all out and pack it up. Fortunately, I at least had enough capability that I could sort things into piles. When Lyse and Alisaie came back, I had just finished that task.

Alisaie grumbled just a little, but she went and fetched her pack – and Alphinaud's. “He's sleeping like the dead,” she told me and Lyse. “I wonder if he dosed himself last night.”

I pursed my lips, thinking about how he had looked, when I had seen him on the bridge earlier. I decided not to say anything to the others, though. If Alphinaud had been up all night – no matter what he'd been doing – that was his business.

The three of us spent an hour or so making sure everything was packed up. Folding and rolling and packing clothes was something that I could manage one handed – after Lyse had made sure my pack would stay open. Alisaie and Lyse chatted about the various desserts they were both eager to gorge on when we got home.

When that was done, it was time to eat, and we all wandered out to the main office to join Tataru and Hancock. The Uldahn man cocked his head at me. “Master Alphinaud still sleeps?”

I eyed the blond merchant, not sure why his grin made me uneasy. “Yeah.”

“I shall endeavor to make certain someone brings him a bite to eat when he does wake, then.” Hancock seemed to find his own statement very amusing, and hid his chuckle behind his hand. Then he went back to eating, and after a moment, so did I.

“I really don't want another nap,” I told Alisaie, feeling querulous. “There's got to be something else I can do until it's time to leave.”

“If you're willing to give me a hand,” she said, surprising me, “I'd be glad of the company.”

“Sure.”

I was even more surprised to find what task it was she wanted help with. The low table in her room was covered with the sort of brown paper used for wrapping parcels, and beside the table was a miniature mountain of...

“Books?”

“What, did you think I had an aversion to them?”

I cocked my head. “No, but I never thought I'd see you with this many of them.”

She chuckled at that. “Fair enough. I've not had much need for studying of that sort since coming to Eorzea. Books _are_ wonderful – but for what I do most of the time, they are hardly practical.” She lifted one and showed it to me. It was a smallish book, with a colorful paper cover and a glued binding; the picture on the cover was of a strapping young Hyur fellow with a cutlass in one hand and a grin on his face that reminded me of Haurchefant. I was surprised again when I saw that the lettering was in Eorzean script. Then I saw the name of the author grinned.

“Where did you find something like this, here of all places?” I asked Alisaie.

She winked. “A book shop, of course. Bountiful Hornblower's romances are somehow very popular here – the man had copies in Eorzean and in Hingan, if you can believe it. Clearly she's found a new market.”

I laughed a little. “Well, good for her.” I couldn't help myself. “Though I really didn't think these were your sort of reading.” I giggled, delighted, when Alisaie's cheeks went just a bit pink. She made a face at me.

“ _Most_ of them are gifts,” she told me, doing her best to shrug off her blush. “I simply want a little help with packing them into this box, after I've wrapped them.”

“All right.” I settled down at her little table. “Gifts for who, though?” There must have been two dozen of the little paper-backs in the stack beside the table.

“Believe it or not, most of them will go to Y'Shtola. She must surely be perishing for something to do, laid up with injuries as she is.”

My eyes stung and felt a little pinched. I hadn't spared a single thought for Y'Shtola, all these weeks. “Have you heard...?”

“Not much,” Alisaie sighed. “But I do know she is still improving. My first order of business when we get back is going to be to pay her a visit.”

“If I can,” I said, “I'll come with you.”

She smiled, and I handed her the book she had been showing me, so she could get started.

Night made the Kugane docks look almost romantic. The moon was full, and the soft silvery light bathed everything in a pale radiance. Shadows swallowed up the less pretty bits, and the white walls of the Shiokaze seemed to sparkle.

 _Well, if I somehow couldn't_ _ **smell**_ _anything, it'd be romantic_.

Tataru smiled as we walked up. Alphinaud was right at my elbow as he had been since we left the Bazaar, while true to her word, Lyse was hauling my pack and her own. The Lalafellin woman waved to a porter, who had obviously been waiting for her signal.

“All packed and ready to go?” Tataru asked us, though it was obviously something of a rhetorical question – the porter was already loading our bags onto a little hand-cart and taking them to the only ship still waiting.

“To the best of my knowledge, yes.” Alphinaud smiled. Alisaie grinned, and he carefully pretended not to see her. He had slept nearly until nightfall, and if his sister hadn't packed his bag for him, we would still be waiting.

“Then, nothing left to do but board the ship!” Tataru's smile faded as she looked up at me. “Do try and enjoy the trip, won't you? It may be your last chance to rest for a while.”

“That would depend on the good captain's choice of route,” Alisaie commented wryly.

Alphinaud shook his head. “I pray you take all due precautions while making your inquiries,” he told Tataru, his tone only a tiny bit condescending. “Better to avoid the local authorities altogether than risk a repeat of our Ishgardian episode.”

Alisaie fixed him with a bright smile, a wicked gleam in her eye. “Oh? And what sordid episode is this, pray tell?”

Alphinaud edged away from her, nearly cringing. “Naught to speak of, I assure you!”

“I'll tell you on the boat,” I promised her, grinning over his head.

He made a strangled noise of protest, while Lyse and Alisaie both giggled.

Their laughter was interrupted by a voice calling out. “You there! Hold that ship!”

Lyse turned, and her eyes widened. “Hien?”

The Doman prince came jogging up to us as we all turned to face him. Yugiri was with him, and they both looked just a little upset.

“What are you doing here?” Lyse asked. “Shouldn't you be in Doma?”

Hien's voice held a hint of hurt. “Shouldn't you?”

I shifted my weight a little, recalling how Tansui had commented on it too... We hadn't so much as said goodbye.

“You left with nary a word,” he continued. Then he smiled a little. “I half wondered if I had done something to offend.”

“We were told that you had left for Kugane, but not until Tataru sent word did we know you were leaving for Eorzea,” Yugiri put in. “We immediately resolved to come see you off. Our comrades can manage affairs in our absence.” Her gentle smile was warm. “And it seemed the least we could do.”

“You didn't even stay long enough for me to say thank you properly,” Hien made a mournful face at me, and I shook my head, unsure what to say. I'd been too devastated to really think straight, much less accept his thanks. A gratitude that I still didn't feel like I had earned.

Lyse spoke. In the moonlight it was hard to tell if she was blushing or not, but her voice seemed flustered. “You mean you came all this way just to say goodbye?”

“That too, aye, but there was something else I felt I had to say.” Hien's smile faded, and he looked at each of us in turn as he spoke. “You helped us win our freedom, and for that I cannot thank you enough. Accordingly, after we have established an interim government and so forth, I think it only meet that we repay the favor by dispatching our own forces to Eorzea.” He smiled once more, that confident grin we'd all grown so familiar with. “If you would have us.”

Alphinaud's eyebrows went up, and he made a gesture of surprise. “We harbored no expectations of such generous aid... and as there is no telling when the Empire might strike back at you, would it not be wiser to concentrate your resources on the defense of Doma?” His tone was filled with sincere concern.

Hien crossed his arms, that damn grin of his firmly in place. His voice was light. “I had a mind to pursue a more aggressive defense. To wit, we will send forth shinobi to provinces far and wide to spread word of our victory, that we might inspire others to take up arms as we did.” His grin turned sly, and his voice was full of a vicious sort of delight. “Even the Empire has its limits.” Then his words became a bit more serious. “If the Garleans cannot be certain where and when the next rebellion will take place, how can they commit another force to Doma?”

He looked into my eyes, and his voice was quieter now. “And besides... so long as this debt remains unpaid, how am I to face myself?” His eyes dropped to my arm. “And Gosetsu?”

I swallowed hard and dropped my head, so that my hair fell into my face. I couldn't look at him, I just couldn't. The pain was still too fresh, and I wouldn't let Hien see me crying again. Alphinaud's hand touched my good arm, steadying me, even as he nodded to the prince of Doma.

“As you wish,” he said to Hien, his voice warm. “I will relay your offer to the Eorzean Alliance.”

I edged back, and Hien turned to speak to Lyse, accepting my silence without comment.

“All of Doma is counting on you to finish what we have started,” he told her. I could hear undercurrents in his voice now, that I didn't quite understand. “You have it in you, Lyse, to seize the future you want. Never forget.”

“I won't,” her voice was just as loaded with emotions as Hien's. “Not your words, or anything else. I'll carry it with me – always. I promise.”

Hien laughed, that free and easy laugh that had rung out over the Steppe so many times. “I will hold you to that,” he told Lyse, and there was no mistaking the fondness in his tone or in the way he smiled at her.

I managed to look up at last, and smile at him just a little. _He's going to be okay. I might still have a ways to go, to finish mourning our losses here. But Hien is already looking forward. I should start doing the same._

He looked over at Yugiri, then. “Go with them to Eorzea. Tell their people of our triumph, and of our pledge to stand with them.”

Yugiri smiled at him. “By your leave,” she nodded. “I shall pave the way for our new alliance.”

From the pier, I heard a shout. Tataru spun around and waved her arms, then turned back to us.

“Hurry up, you lot! The ship's about to weigh anchor!”

Hien spread his arms wide. “It seems our time is at an end. Go well, my friends...and may we meet again beneath a western sky.”

Lyse stepped forward and gave him a fierce, quick hug. Both Alisaie and Alphinaud bowed to him, almost in unison; then they and Lyse strode off towards the ship. Yugiri bowed deeply to her liege-lord, and then followed the others.

I stood there for a moment, awkward, arm in a sling, heart still aching. Hien met my eyes, and I saw there the same compassion he had shown me the night after the battle. He understood. He wouldn't grieve the same way I was doing, but he understood.

I had no words in me. I bowed, as deeply as I could, and then I turned around and walked away, to board the ship that would carry us away across the sea and into the west once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so very much for sticking with me! This part of the story is over, but there will be more to come! I'm not done with Berylla, nor Alphinaud, nor Aymeric, not by a long shot. I will be taking a little time to set myself up for the next installment, so that when we do get started once more, updates can remain consistent!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I promised you would not have to wait long and here it is, Volume Two!  
> I hope to keep the same update schedule through this volume as before -  
> that is, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday
> 
> This work was in part inspired and enabled by  
> Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club  
> Please come and join if you've a mind to do so!  
> We do not bite unless asked, haha!  
> https://discord.gg/8C6ZKTj


End file.
